Snippet: Open Relationships - Love, Jealousy and Vital Know-How

Common sense and listening to your own heart is really important. And as I mentioned, you know, never try to make yourself do things that may not be right for you and your personality.

Yeah.

You know, and if you don't— and when obviously it becomes more difficult when it's a couple trying to say open up and where there's 2 people in that relationship operate at different speeds and have different ways of wanting to explore this. And that's where, you know, open, honest communication and nonviolent communication is super important. Because oftentimes that first— if there's like a first try and it's very negative, you can kind of— it can just ruin the whole thing and you'd never want to even go back to it, you know, because it felt— it just hurt so much. And I— that, you know, what brings to mind is, in a lot of cases, more in, I guess, the mainstream or traditional relationships, or the whole issue of, say, cheating or betrayal, you know, in a relationship. Ultimately, if somebody cheats, you know, sleeps with somebody else, yes, there's a betrayal there. There's— it's definitely bad. It's It also highlights something that's wrong in the relationship. There's an unmet need there. Because either they couldn't get what they, you know, they couldn't get something from the relationship and they were looking for it somewhere else. Either they are— I mean, there are many reasons for that. But ultimately, the fact that they couldn't just sit down and talk about their needs, and the fact that they're thinking of doing this, or they're attracted to somebody else, means they're not free to talk to each other. The way that 2 people who are intimate, who share a life, really should be talking.

Yeah, I agree. And one of the things that I keep saying is, I know that us professionals oftentimes say communicate, communicate, but it's not that easy. You know, you need to invest the time to learn how to communicate, to learn where your failings are. Maybe you oftentimes say too much always, or you never. And that pushes the other person away and it's creating a bigger gap. So when Rory's talking about communication, I want to say learn to communicate, don't just try to communicate. There's so many good strategies and so many good books on the topic and professionals can help you identify your patterns of behavior, of communication, where you fail, etc. So communication is the key. And I also want to just insert here, I see that people are putting their hands up. Please, if you have questions, put them in either the chat box or anonymously via the Q&A section, and I'm going to read them and we're going to discuss them. So please, please take as much part as you want. You have this amazing opportunity to ask us experts live questions now, so take it. And to stir us into jealousy and fear.

Yeah.

Talk to me about jealousy and fear, Roy.