Burnout expert doesn’t believe in “work-life balance”

17 Oct 2026 · 2 min

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2:12

In this interview, a burnout expert (Speaker A) recounts a severe personal episode of burnout that escalated into panic attacks and a near‑death feeling on the way to work. She describes how her nervous system forced a shutdown because she was living to meet societal expectations rather than her own purpose. Recognizing the pattern, she decided to break the cycle for the sake of her daughter, refusing to model a narrative where women’s success is synonymous with depletion. The conversation shifts to the broader theme of mother‑guilt and the importance of role‑modeling fulfillment rather than sacrifice for children. Matt Cooke prompts a discussion on epigenetics—the way experiences can influence gene expression—and asks for a story about the expert’s time in Ghana, setting up a link between personal experience, intergenerational impact, and biological legacy.

Chapters

I experienced burnout. I had a series of panic attacks. I didn't realize they were panic attacks because I'm resilient. I'm strong. I can overcome until I literally thought I was dying on my way to work because my body had enough of me. I wasn't listening and my nervous system decided I needed a shutdown in order to be able to listen. I wasn't living according to my purpose. I was living according to the agenda of society around me.
We're so programmed that the fear of moving away from what we're so used to Often overrides the very exhaustion that our body's suffering. And that transition from social worker burnout, this whole epiphany, what you need to do, how did you do that?
I was sick of myself. I was sick of what I was experiencing, and I knew I was responsible. I looked at my daughter and I thought to myself, I do not want to continue the legacy of you seeing women make great strides and compromised themselves. I didn't want to normalise that success meant that you were depleted.
Right.
Oh, that's so powerful. I really relate to that vision, really thinking about the type of mum that you wanted to be and how you wanted your daughter to view how you were.
Yeah.
But I think what I really struggle with is this mum guilt, is this feeling of like this constant pull of comparison.
What our children need more than us feeling guilty They need to see us looking like we're fulfilling ourselves. As long as we're not doing that to the detriment of them, what we role model is so important.
If we start talking about epigenetics and the information that's stored on top of our genes, essentially, and that then dictates how our genes are expressed, I think there's a story there that fits really nicely about the time you were in Ghana. Can you share that story?
Yeah, so, um, I was in Ghana in 2022. We went to Cape Coast Castle. I wanted to learn about the experience of my collective ancestors. Hmm. And my heart even can feel heavy now. And we walked into the dungeon and I had a very visceral experience.