Melissa DlugoleckiCoach empowering consultants to scale without ads

Not everyone who shows up for you in grief is actually helping.

16 Jul 2026 · 1 min

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In this brief monologue, Melissa Dlugolecki explains that genuine listeners—people who simply hear you without offering advice, comparisons, or stories—are extremely rare, especially when dealing with grief. She contrasts them with what she calls “Xers,” individuals who insert themselves into conversations for drama, curiosity, or a desire to be in the know, often offering unsolicited input. Melissa advises listeners to explicitly state what they need from others, effectively turning supportive people into personal public‑relations agents who can convey the right message on their behalf.

Chapters

Listeners are the rarest ones to find. Why? Because we wanna fix everyone. And a listener can't say, "At least it will get better when," "It could be worse." Listener can't tell you, like, "You should feel better." A listener can't tell you a story about somebody else who went through something similar. They just have to listen, and that is very rare. And then the Xers were interesting because they are the ones that insert themselves in because they like the drama. They like to be in the know, and it could be self-conscious, but they wanna know, or subconscious. They wanna know what's going on. But she said, well, Melissa— and I definitely had those people in my life— and she said, Melissa, just tell them what you want out there in the world. Let them be your PR.