you have to destroy something in order to build something better
In this 19‑minute raw video, Nathan Miller reflects on a pivotal period in his life and business. He begins by crediting divine timing for his past successes, then details his experience running a profitable subscription‑based dropshipping store that generated $50‑$120 K in monthly profit. Despite the financial gains, he grew increasingly uncomfortable with the product’s ethics and lack of personal passion, ultimately deciding to shut the store down after a powerful conviction during a church service that the business was not glorifying God. He recounts the emotional difficulty of abandoning hundreds of thousands of dollars in potential revenue, and the internal conflict of comparing himself to other e‑com entrepreneurs versus the standards of his faith. Nathan then explains his shift toward creating a custom product—a venture he claims no other e‑com peer has attempted. He outlines his current work on the brand, target‑avatar research, and his commitment to devote two years to building something that aligns with his values, offers a massive total addressable market, and allows him to feel proud and purposeful. He also critiques his past “Kayla rip” approach, describing it as mediocrity that stifled growth. Beyond business, Nathan shares personal habit changes: renewed focus on gym, early mornings, meditation, journaling, and deeper devotion to God. He mentions purchasing a BMW M3, but frames it as a fleeting material desire compared to lasting fulfillment from serving others and glorifying God. He concludes with a call to his audience for engagement, hints at future videos about his new lifestyle and lessons, and expresses excitement for the upcoming chapter of his life.
Chapters
What's going on, guys? This is going to be a pretty, pretty raw video. I have a lot to update you guys about, and I have a lot to say. I'm not even sure really where to get started on this, but first things first is that one, I obviously have had been blessed a ton with the circumstances in my life, the things that have led to where I am today, um, truly I have God to thank for that because so much of my success has come from timing. So much of my success has come from being at the right place in the right time. Yeah, I did my job in putting myself in situations where I actually got to, you know, have a chance at that, but still the timing and the way things have worked out to this far have been nothing short of just a miracle, like a literal miracle, like the timing and everything. And so one first thing I just got to say is just like, praise God, man. Like, praise God. He will really make your path straight if you lean into him. And recently I've gone through a pretty weird phase of my life. And like I said, this is just a raw, like, Nathan video. I don't really make these anymore, and I really want to start making these again. This is a pretty interesting phase of my life right now, guys. Like, right now, honestly, I don't really have too much going for me at the current state. And the reason is, is because for the past— not the past year, but a few months ago— for the past year, I had been running this one store. And a lot of you guys probably know that store. And that store was a subscription model play, right? It was making me probably anywhere from, you know, $50K to, I think at the peak, like maybe $120K profit a month. And this store, right, it was great. It was actually very sustainable. It was very, very consistent. But that store, honestly, I felt like it was more of a hindrance to my growth and a hindrance to what I actually want. And this goes because, guys, I don't just want to have, like, I don't want to be mediocre in e-commerce. Like, I really don't. And I've let myself get trapped this past year into this loop of just the same old product, the same old store. And, you know, just, it was profitable, it was working, so I didn't really push any further. Like, I had ideas and stuff, and maybe I tried them but they— if they failed and stuff, I didn't give them that extra care and the extra push that they actually needed to make it successful, right? And on top of that, the product I just didn't like. Like, if you guys know the store, like, you guys know, like, it— the product was just like not a good product in my opinion. And so I'm making money, you know, over a year. Like, I did really well on the marketing side of it. I will be honest, I did well. On, you know, building a really good funnel, um, you know, testing all these things, optimizing retention, optimizing churn, optimizing my backend. Like, if you guys know the store, the demographic of customer I had to deal with, and to not get banned on Shopify Payments with that demographic in that product using a subscription model, I don't even know how that even happened because I must— I just set things out, I figured out how to just actually crush the backend so I didn't get banned off Shopify Payments because good gravy, man, was I eating charge blast fees. Holy cow. But I just, I learned all this stuff and I did learn a lot from this store, but it didn't— every time I had to tell someone about it, every time that I, you know, it came to like, oh, what's your store? Something like that. I would feel embarrassed. I wouldn't feel proud even though I did a lot of work, even though I did all this and that. It was one, just a Kayla rip at the start. Obviously I took it a lot more further than that, but it was a Kayla rip. And so it wasn't even something I thought of or I made. I simply just ripped it. And then number two, it just was not a good product. It wasn't a product that I was passionate about by any means. I don't think anyone would be passionate about that. It was a product that in some sorts of ways you could say was just playing on the emotional side of women in a certain aspect. And so honestly, I really, I just didn't like it. And it all came when, um, this, this whole full circle kind of moment came to me. And I've really realized that I was literally in church on Sunday and I was worshiping, and dude, I literally fell to my knees in worship. I fell to my knees and I fell to my knees and I had the most brutal conviction of my life, like the most brutal conviction of my life. Like, it honestly makes me emotional just thinking about that moment because I literally had to fall to my knees and literally ask for forgiveness because of how convicted I was. And it wasn't like in the dropshipping, in e-com niche or whatever, you know, for us. I wasn't doing anything that bad. Like, I wasn't black-hatting, I wasn't, um, I wasn't scamming people. Like, there's a lot worse in our space. But the thing is, if I compare myself to e-com guys, like, that's not the standard I need to be upholding. I need to be comparing myself with Jesus. Like, what would— what are the standards Jesus has? What, what kind of business would he run, right? And, you know, does it glorify God? And by Good gravy, man. That store was not glorifying God. And so I, yeah, I just completely stopped it. I just completely stopped running ads. I could have even sold the store. I had offers to sell the store and get some money at it, and I didn't even feel good about that. And I'm telling you, like, this was like multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars that I just left on the table because of one simple Bible verse is that any profit from— I forgot what exactly it says, but basically profit from, you know, shady deeds, you know, is always gonna be unfruitful. And so I just didn't even consider that. I just stopped the store, stopped the ads, and then that was it. And, you know, just completely stopped working on it. And for these past couple months, you know, since I've done that, I've I've been really trying to figure out what I want to do next. I have started this other store and I really thought it was going to be super cool. Again, it was just kind of a Caleb rip, honestly. I went back to my, my whatever you want, to the vomit, and I ate again. And that store inevitably didn't work out, but I learned a little bit from that store. And so now Truthfully being told, what I'm doing, I'm doing something that no e-com guy that I actually know has ever done before. Like, truthfully, all the dudes in e-com that I know who— who I don't know anyone who's ever made a custom product. And so I made, I made a custom product, and that is what I'm doing. And for these past couple weeks, I've just been working on getting like the site and everything done. I may be starting some ads and stuff, trying to figure out some avatar, like who exactly do I want to target. That's kind of what I'm doing right now. But this is something I'm actually excited about, and I'm excited about for a few reasons. One, it's really outside of my comfort zone, which honestly I've learned to really like, because every time I, I go outside this comfort zone, which the comfort zone before was just Kayla ripping, right, mixing or rinse and repeat. Like, that stuff just doesn't fulfill me anymore. Like, I don't need any more money from that, that type of business. Like, I want to build something real. I want to build something solid. I want to build something I'm proud of. I want to be able to ship my products to my family, to my friends, and show it, and you know, they're going to think it's cool, whatever. I want to feel good about what I'm running. I truly, truly want to feel 100% good about what I'm running, and I want it to glorify God. And That is what led me to do this. And so, I know, like I said, I know nobody who's done this. And another part of that, and it's a little egotistical of me to say this, but I want to see, I want to be different because I've always looked up to the people, not just in e-com, not just to the people like Hudson or like all those people who you would say are great now, but like I would say in general, I've always looked up to people who are great and people who have been great at periods of their times. Like obviously Conor McGregor, like he wasn't great for a long period of time, but at his peak, bro, He was unstoppable. I listened to him just talk, and like the way he talked, the way, the confidence he had in himself, the way he carried himself was something to behold, man. And I've realized that with these old, the old store I ran in that whole period of time, even though I was doing good, I was shooting myself in the foot, man, because I wasn't glorifying God, and I fell into a loophole of mediocrity. And I hate being in that. It's the most dreadful, unfulfilling place for a guy like myself, is to be mediocre, to be alright, to be average in whatever you're in. And you know, if I compare myself to a normal person my age, I'm not average, right? Definitely not average. But that's not who I compare myself to, obviously. Like, obviously I'm gonna be looking up. That's just kind of how I am and who I am. And so I just got so sick of everything and sick of myself. And now I'm in a spot where I'm actually, I feel that purpose and I really feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing again. Like I had the fun with doing this, you know, Kayla ripping stuff and this e-com, you know, this, that part of e-com, I'm done with that. Um, and I'm just, I'm so excited to start this new chapter. And like, just, I love how obviously like I haven't hit the ground running. I feel like with a custom product, you don't have any like Kaylee Data ads to actually look at. Like, oh, who's this targeting? You don't, you have to figure all that out on yourself. You have to figure out your avatar. You have to figure out what's best. You have to do a lot of testing, a lot more research than usual, I would say. And it is harder for sure. That's why nobody does it because it's harder. But that's the exciting part to me because I want to be that person who does it. And hopefully some people will look at my brand eventually because I've obviously picked and created a product that has massive potential because I've learned from others. I've learned from my experience, you know, if I'm gonna do a subscription product, which I'm not gonna say what kind of product it is, but If I'm going to do that, I know exactly who to target, what kind of demographic to target, what problems churn the least, etc., right? I know what form factors people stick to. I know how to obviously set up a good backend, but more importantly, I know the, the how important having a huge TAM is when it comes to your product. And so I've built a product that has such a freaking huge TAM a huge chance. There's literally— if I don't succeed with this thing, it's all skill issue. And that's all I've been telling myself. And it's really encouraging because it's just— it's motivating me to keep going, keep trying, and keep getting better. And I've realized how many freaking bad habits I've picked up over the years from this mediocrity— whatever— from this average self that I, I was being. And so I'm in a— I'm in a much different place now, and I'm Like I said, I still make a decent amount of money. It's a good amount of money that I can definitely, definitely, definitely, um, live off for the next few months just because I still have recurring revenue coming in, right? And it's very high margin, um, which is super, super nice. And I have this amazing opportunity to just absolutely go all in on this one thing and become obsessed with it and just absolutely just just crush it, bro. And like, the things I want to do with this product, like the brand I want to build, and not even that, but like, I'm gonna have an opportunity to build out more products like this. Like, I am just— I'm so, I'm so excited. And I honestly thank God for the conviction because even though I don't see the success yet, even though like it's not, it's not hit the ground running. This is an opportunity for me to actually to level the frick up and to, and to separate myself from the average. And yeah, man, I'm just, I'm just super stoked. Um, and so yeah, for the next, honestly, I would be willing to give this, this product, this brand, literally 2 years of my life. 2 years of my life I will dedicate to this. That's a big thing to say in my circumstance, but 2 years of my life, I am willing to just go all in and to actually build something super sick and super great. And start small. It starts really small. You got to find one very specific person to write your ads to. And then from then on, you can scale that and then you branch out and then you scale that and then you branch out and then you scale that and then you get on different— oh man, I'm just— I'm so, I'm so excited. I'm truly excited. Like, even especially the fact of it being your own product, like, it's just— it really separates you from a lot of the people who are running right now, not only from an EBITDA standpoint, but just from like a marketing standpoint. Like, ah, I'm so excited for this opportunity. So Um, yeah, I, I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to work on. It's honestly a little bit overwhelming, but it is something that is going to level me up no matter what. Like, it— this will make me into that person. And that's another conviction I've had, is that this past year is just like, yeah, I've been mediocre, mediocre in my store, and I've been mediocre in that, that kind of standpoint in my life, but also in my habits. I've kind of realized that I've been pretty mediocre in that as well. Like, I hadn't been hitting the gym as consistently. I hadn't been waking up early. Meditation, journaling, haven't really been doing, you know, I haven't been dedicating enough time to God. And so recently I've been really good at some of those things. Obviously there's always room for improvement, but I don't know, there's going to be a really good chapter. I'm moving into a place just with myself. And that's gonna be exciting as well because it's gonna mean a lot less distraction as well. I'm gonna be able to have a really, really solid routine and absolutely just, just go into that period of, you know, isolation again where I really, really make some beautiful strides in my life. I'm really able to blossom into this man that God wants me to build or wants me to be. So I Yeah guys, I'm really excited for this. This was a real, real video. Um, just truth be told, I just don't give a crap about these Caleb products anymore, man. Like, I could not be bothered to run another Caleb rep or another Micro Ingredients rep or something like that. Like, I just— to me, it's so worthless. Like, I already have— I've already been blessed enough and I have enough, I guess, money to sustain a pretty decent lifestyle for a good period of time. And so I'm just— right now, I— it's all about choosing what actually will mean something to me and mean something more importantly, I guess, to the world. And so that's kind of the path I'm on right now. Um, like, I— and it's, it's, it's, it's not even like greed. Like, greed with me just being me ripping more people, ripping more products, right? Because I don't have enough money. I don't care about money. I really just care about, about being one close— I mean, if you want my list of priorities right now, it's one, being closer to God, one, serving the people around me better, um, and that comes also from me serving myself better, and then three, obviously just glorifying God with my daily actions. And so yeah, and you guys might see some more videos on this, honestly, on just my new lifestyle, how I want to live, um, kind of some things I've learned. I've really— I thought about making that video as well because there's— if you guys are in the e-com space, like, there is a lot of— I wouldn't say foolish people, but there's a lot of foolish things that are normalized, um, a lot of unfulfilling things that are normalized as well. Like, for example, like buying a car. Like, I, I just bought this car. I will be honest, I just bought an M3. I did, and I actually do really like the car. After this, guys, I don't— after buying this car and driving it around, I really don't feel the need for any other car. Like, it's so— I think it's so foolish to me, like, people who are constantly just looking for the next car. Oh, I need to get the A12, then the SVJ. Like, like, it just doesn't fulfill you at all. Like, they're all like pretty loud, all pretty fast. Like, it, it really just doesn't do much for you. It really, really doesn't. Um, and yeah, you could pat yourself on the back, you could look cooler, whatever, but like, all that stuff is just— it's so futile. It doesn't last. Like, it really just doesn't last. The only things that really last are like the people you serve, um, how you serve them, how you treat others, and then obviously you know, the fruits that you show and the treasures you store in the kingdom of God. Like, those are the only things that really matter on this earth. And that's kind of what I'm focused on right now. Like, freak all this selfish stuff and like, you know, trying to dress like super, super, super like cool. I've never been a fan of designer and you guys know that. Like, I've never really been a big fan of that. I'm in here, I'm in living life just for experiences right now. Fulfillment and, you know, purpose, and then obviously just for glorifying. So that's kind of the raw rant. I don't want to make this thing go too long. I'm already, looks like, 19 minutes in. Who knows what I'm gonna title this video. Shout out to my friend Ben because I just watched his rant and it really made me feel inspired to make this. I feel like I used to make these a lot and for some reason I've I haven't made any. So, um, yeah, I'm gonna upload this right now. But, um, as all— as always, I should say, I love you guys. Thank you guys for watching this video. If you're watching this point, you are a real one. Drop a comment and say bazinga if you watched all the way to the end, because then I'll know you're actually a real one. Um, super, super cool times ahead, super cool journey. If you guys have thought that my life is anything up to this point, like, it's about to be a lot different. That's all I got to say. It's about to be a lot different in a multitude of ways. So, um, super excited for this next chapter in my life. And yeah, guys, peace, love. I'll see you guys later.
