He Achieved Success… So Why Did It Start Feeling Heavy? | Avi Arya

I came with a very heavy shoulder in the morning, trying to figure out everything myself. अब क्या अपने आप को भी proof करना बंद कर दो? Is that my next step to get perfect peace? मेरे को कभी डर नहीं लगता था stage पे जाने में। Automatically overall I'm feeling more pressure in life.

The pressure didn't feel like pressure before. Now it feels like pressure because as we evolve in life, our needs start shifting.

पहले होता था सब लोग मुझे जाने सब लोग मुझे देखें। I needed to be seen drama stage speaking all of that. अब वो need is to express.

Big dreams are still there and yet there is this pressure. So there is this confusion that should I fulfill the dreams? But then what do I do about this pressure, which I used to not feel earlier?

Avi Arya, mentor to India's top business coaches and advisor to the world's best hotel chains, founder of a successful boutique hotel business and a father of 2 girls. Even the most driven leaders sometimes find the constant hustle a bit heavy. In this session, coaches Mitesh and Indu help Avi explore his evolving needs, guiding him away from the grind and toward the liberating joy of effortless success.

The reason you felt the pressure is because of a very strong limiting belief that Growth requires effort. What gives you power?

This line has given me goosebumps. ये मुझे सुनना था। मैं importance को ऊपर रखूँगा, trust नहीं होगा, तो I'll always be uneasy.

When the need of nothing comes so up on the sequence for some reason, we start questioning everything.

But I still go back to a team of 150 people who are still the same. So that is always a conflict.

Can I say one of the outcomes would be that? Welcome to Manifest with IMK, one more episode of amazing celebrity coaching. Today's celebrity is a very famous coach in India, one of the best in India. His name is Avi Arya. Hopefully you've probably already heard of him. Avi Arya is not only an amazing coach who has helped thousands of people learn how to make videos, he brings the best out of you as a coach, as a content creator. Not just that, he himself is a hotelier. He has multiple hotels. And the best part is he helps large hotels to transform their business into multimillion-dollar businesses. So not just a coach, a business coach. He is coming up on October 29th as his 50th birthday. And he was going through thoughts of, as I am approaching this age of 50, second-questioning himself a lot about what is my life all about? Why am I doing what I am doing? Haven't I done enough? But he still has a lot of goals, and he's wondering, by having these thoughts, is he giving up on these goals? And he's going through a lot of this confusion right now in his life. Can a consultant like this, can a successful business coach like him also go through internal conflicts like this? Yes, we all can. And that is the purpose of the show, to show you that at any age, any celebrity, any human being on this earth, no matter how successful, including me, can go through these phases. Today with Avi, if you are someone who is confused internally about where are you going in your life, you're questioning yourself again and again, this conversation will be life-transforming for you. So share this video with anybody who you know resonates with this topic. And while watching this video, here is a request: please sit with a notepad and a pen because there are a lot of important words, a lot of important conversations happening which will make sense to you when you write that down. Okay, I look forward to your comments in Video below. I want to know what did you go through? Did you reorganize your needs? What is the outcome that you would like on this coaching call?

So I'm finding myself putting too much, putting too much नहीं और automatically overall I'm feeling more pressure in life. So maybe the outcome that I'm looking for is to be able to understand how I'm not the only one who's going through this.

So can I say one of the outcomes would be that you would be able to achieve your dreams and yet not feel this pressure? In law of attraction, we say once the frequency changes, some people will just fall off from your frequency. And the conversation that you had, the last piece, the second piece, which you said that बड़े सपने अभी भी हैं big dreams are still there, and yet there is this pressure. So there is this confusion that Should I fulfill the dreams? But then, but then what do I do about this pressure which I used to not feel earlier? Earlier I had this drive and the pressure didn't feel like pressure before. Now it feels like pressure. I've gone through this exact conversation.

See the thing is I have dreams. I don't have big dreams. I've never had big dreams. You know, वो मुझे दुनिया नहीं जीतनी मुझे। मुझे सिर्फ अपने आप को prove करना है और किसी को prove नहीं करना। एक वो है कि कितना prove करो, इतना कर दिया, ये कभी journey खत्म होगी, नहीं होगी, सब कुछ ठीक है। दूसरों के prove करके देख लिया, आप किसी को prove नहीं कर सकते कुछ। तो मैंने दूसरों को छोड़ना शुरू कर दिया और बड़ी पीस मिल रही है लाइफ में। अब क्या अपने आप को भी प्रूफ करना बंद कर दूँ? Is that my next step to get perfect peace? That's what where I'm trying to ask myself these questions.

Because as we evolve in life, our needs start shifting. So you have these seven chakras in your body and most people look at seven chakras only as spiritual energy chakras. But they are Deeper, they're also connected to our psychological needs. The sequence of these chakras decides your frequency, and your frequency is made of emotions, beliefs, and actions. I call it FTBA— feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and actions, right? So when you say frequency has shifted, what does it mean? What you feel has shifted, thinking has shifted, your beliefs have moved on, your actions are different compared to the way it used to be. That— so that's what I mean by frequency has shifted. But why do the frequencies shift like this? Because our needs sequence completely changes. So there are 7 needs that you have. The first one being root chakra, which is comfort, predictability, comfort. The second chakra is your sacral chakra, which is related to change, newness, adventure, risk. The third chakra is your solar plexus, which is at the center of your stomach. It's related to your self-esteem, importance, Uh, appreciation, goals. Whereas your heart chakra is more connected to love, personal connection, friendship, relationships, romance, intimacy, all of that. Throat chakra after that, the 5th chakra here, is more related to growth. That is why the more we want to grow, we need to be able to influence people. Now, people who have very powerful throat chakra, which you do, you'll be able to influence. You'll be able to have a certain impact on people when you speak. So that's the throat chakra. Then there is the third eye, which is related to trust. Like how much am I able to trust other people and trust myself, which is intuitions. And finally is the crown chakra, which is related to nothing. Nothing means the ability to just connect to the universe for no reason, where suddenly all your needs just fall down. Right? So the monks who meditate a lot, हाँ, so the monks who meditate a lot, उनका highest activated वो होता है। Most people think of seven chakras as a sequence of top to bottom. ये actually top to bottom नहीं होते। इनका अपना एक sequence बन जाता है based on our psychological needs. Like phone number is one two three four five six seven eight nine zero, but your number is organized in a certain way. That is why your mobile number is different, and my mobile number is different because the frequency changes. But the frequency only changes based on the organization of those ten digits.

अच्छा

so अगर मैं आपके old you की बात करूँ which I can probably try and predict based on my expertise maybe I'm wrong but I'll try to predict the old Avi right for the old Avi the solar plexus was very important once upon a time which is importance on the top self esteem on the top right growth was very much on the top दिखना जरूरी था हर जगह growth बहुत जरूरी थी ambitions बहुत सारे थे goals बहुत सारे थे राइट

राइट

सोलर प्लेक्सस के साथ एट आल्सो कम्स तू प्रूविंग तू योरसेल्फ प्रूविंग तू योरसेल्फ प्रूविंग तू द वर्ल्ड ये पहले था पुराने अभी में देन कम्स इन द ग्रोथ तीसरा वाज चेंज तो चेंज यानी बहुत कुछ नया करना था

बिल्कुल सही

रिस्क लेना था अलग-अलग चीजें करनी थी सो टू मेनी आइड

Absolutely, absolutely bang on, bang on. बिल्कुल यही था सब कुछ करना है और every all my friends used to say कि थम जा एक चीज पकड़ I said नहीं एक चीज this is not my flavour मेरे को तो थोड़ा-थोड़ा एक वो ice cream चाहिए जिसमें सात flavour हो चाहे वो मुझे नहीं अगर आप focus नहीं करते आपको success नहीं मिलती मैंने कहा मुझे वो success चाहिए ही नहीं मुझे unfocused scattered success चाहिए मुझे इसमें क्या होता है And

people will be like, क्या हुआ? पसंद नहीं आया खाना? नहीं नहीं, I loved it. I just want to go to a new place. And this will confuse other people whose needs for change is lower. Some people who cannot handle change, they'll get in conflict with you because वो बोलेंगे यार तू जो आपने word बोला ना कि थम जा यार. तो they are saying it because their need for change is low. They cannot handle change. But for you, your change need was very high those days. Okay. Right? So

growth. Okay, got it.

Sorry, solar plexus.

No, most of my friendship relationships had challenges because they used to be like, तेरे को इतने सारे circles क्यों चाहिए दोस्तों के यार हम हैं ना तेरे लिए?

Correct.

I was like, चाहिए वो। That's the need.

It was a need because it vibrates at a certain frequency, at a certain speed, right? So first one for you was solar plexus, second was growth which is the throat chakra, the third was as I said right now Related to change, what do you think was the fourth one?

Trusting without trying. Now, मेरे को trust issues हैं because of you know life में बहुत कुछ सीख जाते हो आप ये ज़्यादा ही सीख जाते हो शायद कभी-कभी। But पहले it was I used to trust everybody, I used to love everybody, I used to like everybody.

Was your heart?

Okay.

दिल ना पहले feel करता है, सोचता बाद में। Okay. So what you said trust first and think later was connecting to people very fast. And that is why you wanted many connections, many friends. But अगर वो ज़रूरत नहीं होगी तो उतने दोस्त भी नहीं होंगे। और उतने दोस्त थे क्योंकि उतनी ज़रूरत थी। Hence you said during the time of COVID you want when you felt like talking to people your business that you generated of coaching people into creating micro videos was connecting to people. That's the word you used.

जितने ज़्यादा लोग तीन हज़ार लोग आ रहे हैं speaking पे whatever मेरे को कभी डर नहीं लगता था stage पे जाने में because वो वो एक that अब

वो

today also I love it but I don't need it अगर वो नहीं है तो फिर भी ठीक है आज थोड़ा सा

बदल रहा है sequence change हो गया it's not बदल गया मैं आपको बताऊँ नया अभी थोड़ा है but because you don't know that the sequence has shifted there is confusion

sure

कि मैं वो हूँ कि मैं ये हूँ once you understand the new sequence ना suddenly आपको realize हो जाएगा कि right

exactly

oh that's why my choices are shifting

हम्म हम्म

and then there is a belief connected with it which I'll tell you which is connected to that goals and the pressure part Right? So heart chakra हो गया। पांचवा आप guess करो। I'll tell you which was your fifth one. Your fifth one was predictability, comfort. So you would plan things in such a way that your outcome was predictable. You would devise systems, you would devise scripts which would give you predictable outcomes. Spontaneous but predictable. Why? Because change was higher, so spontaneity वहाँ से आती है। And yet predictable इसलिए वो पांचवी नहीं थी। Right. Makes sense.

Got it. Yeah, that's definitely.

Sixth was your trust.

It makes sense.

Intuitions. So as you said, learning from many people. So उन दिनों it was all about receiving. The new Avi is intuitively guided rather than only externally guided. So the seventh one then was the nothing those days. So अगर उन दिनों बोलो कि बैठके कुछ मत करो, would have been difficult for Avi. Like doing, अब मजा आएगा क्योंकि now your needs are shifting. अब बहुत मजा आएगा शिफ्टिंग करने में। So I can actually just listen to somebody's life for five ten minutes and I can understand your seven needs almost with ninety percent accuracy. So far I think we've been quite on the dot, right? तो ये ये था पुराना आइडिया। हम नया भी देखते हैं जहाँ से confusion आ रहा है।

Absolutely, absolutely।

एक बार आपको ये seven पता चल जाएंगे ना तो ये confusion खत्म हो जाएगा कि why am I behaving or why am I feeling this? Right? So what do you think today's Avi's number one need is?

पहला सवाल, पहला जवाब मेरे माइंड में आता है that who के who is real? बाकि बहुत सारे लेके मैंने कहा friends, colleagues, बड़े सारे लोगों को मैंने layers पे layers जमा करके रखे होते कहीं ना कहीं वो मेरी insecurity थी। अब मेरे को इतने ज्यादा लोग नहीं चाहिए, इतनी ज्यादा चीजें नहीं चाहिए, इतना सारा business नहीं चाहिए। जो real है चार लोग मिलेंगे चालीस में से, चार दो बिजनेस मिलेंगे दस में से, फिर बाद में वो भी रियल नहीं होगा शायद मैं दो साल बाद आपके साथ फिर आऊँगा क्या मितेश वो भी रियल नहीं रहा, so that's where I am right now. So to be able to trust who is real outside and to be able to understand कुछ भी रियल है या नहीं है या ये भी मैं एक और ट्रैप में फंस रहा हूँ कि यार चालीस

नहीं है, नहीं चाहिए, रियल नहीं है। It connects to nothing.

I don't know, maybe

when the need of nothing comes so up on the sequence for some reason, we start questioning everything. And there's nothing wrong with that because it's a very different feeling. But the reason you're having all these questions because your need for nothing has gone up. And that generally happens when you're satiated. What do you think is the second need which is conflicting between your nothing need and that need?

I've always had this need, Mitesh, to be seen by the masses. Like everybody needs to know. वो थोड़ी वो थोड़ी कम हो रही है, but the thing is expression. अब मैं उसको name पहले होता था सब लोग मुझे जाने या सब लोग मुझे देखें। I needed to be seen drama stage speaking all of that. अब वो need is to be to express.

Solar plexus, importance, self-esteem. It's connected to that. So what happens is when you want nothing and you want importance, so question आता है बाद में कि पहले तो nothing चाहिए, फिर importance के लिए काम करना शुरू करते हो, पर फिर question आता है कि हम बिल्कुल ठीक जगह

point गए हाँ

ये हो रहा

है।

Your heart chakra is in the sequence come up, right? And your growth need has gone down. You're not as egoistic, egoistic as you used to be. But because the need of ego is still on the second, which is the importance need, वो love से clash भी करती है। क्योंकि काम कर रहे हो importance के लिए, लेकिन time बिताना है family के साथ।

समझ रहा

हूँ। तो time family के साथ बिताते समय लगता है, लेकिन ये जो खुद की एक existence वाली need है, उसका क्या करूँ फिर? तो फिर वहाँ से pressure आता है कि काम करूँ family के साथ time spend करूँ। But then you will get a thought that Am I giving up? And then comes in the fourth is growth. Family की तरफ जाके भी अपनी respect मैंने खुद की इतनी बना ली है कि I don't want to now go to the family and say कि मैं कुछ नहीं कर रहा हूँ। Back to importance need, वो जो second need है ना वो ऊपर आ गई। तो वो sequence देखो, वो respect की बात हो रही है।

Okay

okay right respect की बात हो रही है। Existence की मैंने एक image बना रखी है अपनी उसकी बात हो रही है। But जाना family की तरफ है तो वो तीसरी need पे तो इट्स लाइक लव गोज़ बट देन द इम्पोर्टेंस नीड्स कॉल यू बैक कि यार पहले थोड़ा रिस्पेक्ट वो भी तो जरूरी है एंड देन आफ्टर लव कम्स इन ग्रोथ तो अब होता क्या है कि वाइल्ड यू आर स्पेंडिंग टाइम विद योर फैमिली दिमाग में आइडियाज आते रहते हैं काम की सो समटाइम्स यू आर न Eventually तो family के साथ ही time spend करना है, so why am I spend? Like why am I so driven right now? But that's because love and then growth is a little confusing. और उसके पहले भी importance. और उसके ऊपर तो nothing. So based on your goals right now, if you had to make a choice, goals and priorities of life, what would you like to choose on the top? Nothing को अभी भी ऊपर रखना है कि कुछ और ऊपर लेके जाना है?

Nothing को तो 100% ऊपर रखना है right now. That's I would not say priority number one, but that is that That gives me maximum peace and comfort. I think उसमें सारी चीजें आ जाएंगी।

Okay, सोचो पहला nothing, दूसरा क्या करेंगे as a combination that will complement it not conflict it?

Nothing के बाद comfort।

अब ध्यान से देखना nothing और comfort और compatible है ना? लेकिन nothing और importance की लड़ाई है क्योंकि importance बोलता है मुझे तो कुछ बनना है nothing बोलता है क्यों क्या फर्क पड़ जाएगा? आपके level पे first आया nothing अभी दूसरा आया

right

कौन सा कंफर्ट तो कंफर्ट का एक अलग शब्द में आपको बताता हूँ जो अभी आप रिलेट कर पाओगे इट्स कॉल्ड एफर्टलेस सो राइट नाउ एफर्टलेस लाइफ इज इम्पोर्टेंट फॉर यू इन योर नीड्स बट व्हाट यू आल्सो वांट इन योर प्रायोरिटीज ऑफ़ गोल्स विच आई कैन हेयर फ्रॉम योर पास्ट कॉन्वर्सेशंस The only difference is your old needs are designed in such a way कि importance ऊपर होने की वजह से काम का reason change था। But अब अगर आप nothing comfort यानी effortless के बाद growth करते हो, so then you will want growth effortlessly, which is actually your inner calling right now.

And you know the thing is मुझे आपकी बात इतनी अच्छी लग रही है, इतनी मीठी लग रही है because I've been trained because life में हर आदमी अपने-अपने experiences के through उधरता है। Tough times से मैंने entrepreneurship में घुसा, बहुत बहुत ज़्यादा tough times for you know for the family and for all

of

तो effortless को laziness मेरे mind ने एक definition दे दी थी कि नहीं

भाई मरने मरके ही स्वर्ग में जाओ। Which is fair क्योंकि time होता है ज़िंदगी में depending on your needs sequence ना अलग-अलग statements की frequency suit होती है आपको। Fourth आपका organization आपकी बातों से मुझे पता चला you also want love and connection। क्योंकि पुराने वाले कॉन्फ्लिक्ट में देखो पहला था नथिंग सेकंड था इम्पोर्टेंस थर्ड था लव और फोर्थ था ग्रोथ तो लव पहले आ रहा था ग्रोथ बाद में आ रहा था तो मेनी टाइम्स वाइल मेकिंग डिसीजंस यू विल अलाउ द हार्ट टू लेट पीपल टेक यू फॉर ग्रांटेड बट अब अगर आप ग्रोथ कॉन्शियसली I'm willing to grow. At the same time, love is important to me, but not enough to let people take me for my growth granted. So that's the throat chakra, which means throat chakra को अगर मैं अलग तरीके से समझाऊँ, it's the ability to say no even though you love love people.

This line has given me goosebumps. ये मुझे सुनना था. I this is what I needed to hear. Seriously,

you're very smart. You know कि लोग क्या कर रहे हैं, लोग छुट्टी मार रहे हैं, लोग झूठ बोल रहे हैं। सब दिखाई दे रहा है। लेकिन दिल ऐसा है कि यार चल ठीक है, छोड़ो।

हाँ, हाँ, हाँ,

हाँ। Now if you organize this need correctly where you keep growth on the top and love now, now you can say no even though you love people. So first is nothing. Second let's say now it feels right for you comfort. Third feels right is growth, fourth feels right is love. तो fifth क्या हुआ? Change. काफी नीचे जाएगा। हाँ, लेकिन change आपका नीचे जाएगा। क्योंकि ऐसा नहीं है कि change आपको नहीं चाहिए। See, it's not like you're wearing these clothes so you'll never change these clothes। वो ज़रूरत तो है, but वो priority पे नीचे चली जाएगी। So I want you to just try to say this with me to check how it feels at an intuitive level when you say the five needs first. Say I'm clear I want nothing for now.

I am clear I want nothing for now.

I want to be comfortable.

I want to be comfortable.

While being comfortable, I still want to grow.

While being comfortable, I still want to grow.

Effortlessly.

Effortlessly.

And yet I want to care for people. I want to connect with people.

And yet I want to care for people, connect with people.

I don't want to make too many changes in life right now.

I don't want to make too many changes in life right now.

Check how it feels at an intuitive level. At a body level,

it it feels much better. शुरू में जब आपने when we went from nothing to comfort, तो मुझे nothing बोलने के बाद जब मैंने comfort बोला तो मुझे लगा am I saying no to all my family responsibilities कि मुझे कुछ नहीं चाहिए but

मेरे को सबके लिए तो कुछ ना कुछ करना है but

then उसके

बाद जब third आया fourth आया तो ऐसा नहीं है देखो होता क्या है कि because we don't know these organizations of needs Nothing dominates your thought process for like four five hours, and in that zone we feel growth cannot coexist with nothing, which is not true. You can have all seven. So if you now observe, your connection is top to bottom. The way you've connected yourself, the way you've rewired yourself, ऊपर का पहले और फिर नीचे का second एकदम नीचे का.

Right,

right. Then the third one, right, which is growth.

Correct.

Fair. After growth, we connected love, heart chakra. Then we connected change, which is sacral chakra. तो अभी दो बचे अपने। कौन से दो बचे? आपका बचा है एक तो solar plexus और एक बचा third eye. तो third eye को हम बोलते हैं Trust और solar plexus को हम बोलते हैं importance। अब दोनों में से आप choose करो sixth कौन सा रखोगे, seventh कौन सा रखोगे?

So trust and importance ये तो दो विचार में हम डाल दिया आपने।

खाली

sequence नहीं सिर्फ sequence बता रहे हैं मेरे को। मिलेगा दोनों। उसको mix नहीं कर सकते।

It's just that we are going to reorganize them based on

your trust। Right I understand। हम्म see I think अगर trust आएगा ना तो I'll be at peace फिर importance अपने आप आ जाएगी जितनी

So if I have to now repeat the whole thing with you, say it with me. I am clear.

I am clear.

I need nothing right now.

I need nothing right now.

I need effortless growth. I need effortless growth while connecting with people and loving people.

While connecting with people and loving people.

I want to continue trusting myself and others.

I want to continue trusting myself and trusting others.

I don't want to make too many changes. I don't want to do too many things right now.

I don't want to make too many changes. I don't Want to do too many things right now.

Importance already come automatically comes to me. People recognize me automatically.

Importance automatically comes to me. People recognize me automatically. I came with a very heavy shoulder in the morning, trying to figure out everything myself. So I'm definitely feeling much much lighter that there is and I I'm waiting कि मैं इसको जो आपने बोला है उसके minutes of the meeting लगा के sequence लगा के अपने सामने लगाऊँ रोज उसको देखने के लिए because I know that we have to write this down physically with

your hand ten times. 10 different papers, 10 separate individual papers. And those handwritten sequences of this new organized needs, you display it all over your house. Take a picture, make it your desktop, take a picture, make it your mobile screensaver, so that every time you're looking at it, you're consciously reorganizing your needs. And it takes only 3 to 7 days when you look at it carefully every single day. It What gives you power is clarity. Now, coming to the last part of the reason you felt the pressure is because of a very strong limiting belief that growth requires effort. Honestly, when you are taking off in your career, the first 30, 40 years, it's like the speed and the drive of an aeroplane that requires to go through the runway with a lot of drive, a lot of fuel burning. But now you're at that altitude of life where effortless is the nature of flying in the Level of that sky.

But I still go back to a team of 150 people who are still the same. So that is always a conflict. कि मैं change हो गया और वो फिर एक और conflict बन जाता है office में जाके या clients के पास जाके कि ये क्या कर रहा है ये? Why is he reorganizing? इसकी life change हो रही है तो हमारा तो career चल रहा है हम 30s, 40s में हैं. Why is our boss changing our life?

This is the ability of being able to fulfill one's need also and learn to fulfill other people's needs based on their psychological needs, not my needs. Understanding that my needs are my needs. They are not everybody else's needs. And how can I balance this between— so I always tell people, don't judge people for what their needs are. Understand and fulfill their needs. In fact, when you start consciously or unconsciously fulfill top 4 sequence of any human being's need, they will get addicted to you. This needs conversation is not as complex as it seems, actually.

Noted.

In our Platinum Membership program, we teach people how to identify these needs for other people. We call it Life Life coaching certification, which has two parts. One is the part of a person going through his own life coaching with me. We're reorganizing the needs and many other things we work on. But then the second piece is very critical of how do you become a better leader by understanding other people's needs in literally ten to fifteen minutes.

Super crucial. That वो that should be taught in school because वही सब कुछ है.

The ability to right now recognize people's needs for you is also there. It is intuitive. Now, when you have a coaching formula in hand, which I do in my mind right now, I can listen to you for only ten minutes and your entire life blueprint is in my subconscious now. मुझे आप पता है मुझे आपसे क्या बात करनी है।

My second part was जैसे जो मैं आपसे ये पूछ रहा था that as a as a leader, I definitely was a little too emotionally involved. Now I have the ability to say no without you know. Ruffling a lot of feathers, and then you a reader who says no is also equally appreciated. I understood that, और आपने validate किया आज thank you. But like I said, एक reader change होता जा रहा है, और team की needs change होते जा रही है। पहले हम साथ में थे तो मिल रहे थे, अब मैंने अपने आप को बदलना शुरू कर दिया। आज पूरा बदल गया आपके पास call पे आके मैं शाम को बात करूँ उनसे बोलूँगा इसको क्या हो गया है?

Once you remember this seven standard needs, when you talk to people listen to their words carefully. First five minutes just listen. And ask questions क्या चाहिए तुझे? एक बार आपको समझ में आ गया कि मितेश वो employee है जिसको importance चाहिए, तो अगली बार आपको सिर्फ ये करना है कि whenever you start a conversation with me, start with an appreciation first, बाकी बातें बाद में। It's a matter of understanding a human being and there are only seven, there are not seventy seven, there are only seven and it is easy to remember the sequence the moment people talk because the moment people talk they themselves are only revealing their sequence to you by using words like Respect related to importance. मुझे पता नहीं क्या हो रहा है, मुझे I मुझे जानना है क्या होगा। Like बहुत uncomfortable लग रहा है। ये सब बदल रहे हैं, मुझे बदलाव नहीं चाहिए। So which need is he talking about? Comfort. So depending on what they are speaking, you'll have to start listening to them carefully and start devising okay what's the sequence of their needs? That is one part. Now comes the second part. Consider this with your wife. Okay so love for her is on the top. Heart chakra is on the top. Second

Comfort.

Okay, so predictability is important to her. Can't change, not comfortable with change. Okay, good. So comfort is second, third?

Trust.

Trust. Trust. Okay. So love, comfort, trust. Is it importance after that?

But I think, मैं nothing को ऊपर डालूँगा because because we are similar age. So now she's also gone to that level कि nothing, you know. Okay. थोड़े से बच्चे हैं अभी हमारे बड़े करने वाले हैं but उसके अलावा she's also at that stage of nothing.

Okay, चलो ठीक है। So love, comfort, nothing.

Nothing. Love, nothing love.

You think nothing would come first for her? Or is it love first for her? Is she still more focused on relationship responsibilities versus her need for nothing?

Her need for nothing comes first.

Okay. So nothing. Okay. So if her need for nothing is first and love is second, which I think she is, ask her. She must be feeling guilty many times by prioritizing herself.

I'm sure. I'm sure. I I मैं बिना आप पूछे बता सकता हूँ।

हाँ। तो उसका reason ये है कि उसको need अगर need number one पे देविया की nothing है और second love है तो जैसे ही वो खुद की नीड साक्रिफाइस करेगी लव के लिए, उनको अच्छा लगेगा दैट आई एम टेकिंग केयर ऑफ माय रिस्पONSिबिलिटीज़, बट नीड नथिंग की पूरी नहीं होगी एंड बिकॉज़ ऑफ दैट व्हेनेवर शील प्रायोरिटाइज़ हरसेल्फ शील फील गिल्टी अबाउट लव, शील फील गिल्टी अबाउट नॉट फुलफिलिंग Okay, now first is nothing, second is love, third is for Divya.

Third, I think it was comfort and then trust, change, and or

is it

importance first? And then I think it was importance. I think मैं उसको sixth में डालूँगा because just she's a very accomplished lawyer and she did not she's not even on social media. So वो तो बहुत नीचे हो गया। बिल्कुल नीचे ही थी। काम करो घर जाओ। Correct.

हाँ

लेकिन अब अब now I'm seeing off late that she is getting recognized and for the first time she's liking it पहले उसे कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता था so now importance की थोड़ी सी need है six तक

तो है actually फिर importance पाँच पे आएगा और comfort नीचे जाएगा sorry change नीचे जाएगा because now she's getting comfortable with importance yeah she's fulfilling that need

right

है ना तो अगर ये needs से देखो what is important for you to understand is not only the sequence of her needs but this is the more important question now On a level of one to ten, how much am I fulfilling all her needs one at a time? That's the question you would have to ask yourself. Whether it's life partner, employee, anybody. Because only seven needs organization समझना जरूरी नहीं है। समझना ही जरूरी कि intensity level पे उन सातों needs को मैं पूरी कितनी कर रहा

हूँ। हाँ, right? Interesting.

Am I giving Divya the space to feel nothing? Am I am I being instrumental in her fulfilling her needs for nothing? Am I giving her her own solo holiday, her own space, and sometimes just leaving her alone? Right? And then if she needs the second one as love, then am I fulfilling those needs of love by using the words that she likes me to use? Because if I am not, then she will say, you don't say the way you used to say.

Right.

If that complaint is there,

right. सिर्फ इसी इस सिर्फ इसी point पे मैं कह सकता हूँ मेरे दस में से नौ number आते हैं। बातें मैं वही करता हूँ पहले वाली। अच्छा, that

you don't fulfill that need of hers.

No no, मैं बातें वही करता हूँ पहले वाली। You know that that that that is one thing she I get I think nine on ten on कि बातें वही हैं पहले वाली which is that you know so that I that that kind of thing I like to keep alive.

Amazing. So that means she is fulfilled in that level of love also. Right? So nothing हो गया, love हो गया, comfort हो गया। How much are you instrumental in fulfilling her need for comfort? How much are you instrumental in fulfilling her need for Change importance

comfort see I think see I think उसकी जो sense of comfort है उसको मैं ही हिला देता हूँ by my discomfort because obviously I discussed with her this मेरी sequence तो उसका comfort हिल जाता होगा रात को मैंने आधा घंटा उसको बताया कि क्या चल रहा है पूरे office में तो उसका comfort हिल जाता होगा so so the

more you

start thinking

of it this way it will be easy for you to start dealing with different people differently.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's like a, it's like such a inside मतलब I'm feeling के you know आंखें मैं सबको example देता हूँ अपने उसमें कि यार आंखें बंद करके गाड़ी मत चलाए करो यार मुझे ऐसी लग रहा है कि अच्छा खासा blueprint है उसमें एक तो हम एक तो पता नहीं है और फिर उसके अंदर जाना नहीं चाहते कि कुछ अपनी ही गलतियाँ निकलेंगी तो अब वो थोड़ा I'm and I think आपकी personality भी ऐसी है it's it's very easy to open up to you it's not कि डर डर के बात करने का मन कर रहा है

yeah I

wish मेरे

में थोड़ा वो quality होता कि लोग मुझसे डरते हैं तू मुझे बोलती तेरे से कोई नहीं डरता तो fair so before we close two things I'll communicate one is in the office ना I want you to quickly think of and I want you to know how fast you can learn this as a formula think of one person whose need for importance is very high in the office you'll be able to recognize it like this अब आपको पता चल गया

याद आ गया? हम्म हाँ हाँ

okay now think of another person in the office जिसकी need for comfort बहुत ज़्यादा है याद आ गया है

ना ठीक है

अब आ गया अब इन दोनों को साथ में रखोगे ना झगड़े होंगे हाँ conflict हो रहे हैं

हो रहे right

so when you team people together you can use this understanding again

अच्छा, oh my god, this gets

deeper.

हाँ, this is amazing. तो बता ऐसे तो मैं FIFA की winning football

team बना सकता हूँ इस ऐसे format में। You can take one member who needs growth and the second member who needs change. Perfect compatibility. But जब आप growth को लेते हो और comfort को लेते हो, oh बाप रे बाप! ये growth वाला आदमी एकदम ambitious होगा, ये comfort वाला आदमी एकदम आराम से होगा और इन दोनों के पंगे होंगे।

No, it's beautiful. Just fantastic.

See, I told you, once you know the formula, you'll be able to identify very fast. It's not that complex. It's easy. So with that last part, I would like you to do an exercise with me to change one of your beliefs, which is that—

sure—

that success comes with effort, right? It's a statement that obviously made sense to you at a certain time in life, but now you're going towards effortless success or effortless goals. So I'm going to do an exercise which will change that belief for you. It's, it's an NLP exercise. So I'm going to ask you 3 things which are false, actually false. You just have to say false, and then I'll tell you what to do after that. So you choose, do you want to say false or do you want to say not true? Actually, let's say not true. So you are bald, is that true?

Not true.

You are blind, is that true?

Not true.

You are dumb. Is that true?

Not true.

Okay, I'm gonna make you say this 2 times more. This time when you say it, I want you to hear your pitch, your body language, the way you feel inside, because only you can feel what you feel inside. I'm trying for you to elicit how it feels, a statement, even though you're saying not true, but it's actually authentically not true. Like, it's very authentic. Are you bored? Obviously. I'm not bald. It's not true, but at a root level, it's very authentic.

Correct.

Then I'm gonna go alternate in these statements where the first statement I will say, "Are you bald?" You're gonna say not true. Then I'm gonna ask you, success takes hard work, and you're gonna say not true.

ठीक है.

Again, I'll say you're blind. Is it true? You'll say not true. I'll say success takes hard work. Is that true? You'll say not true. So we're kind of breaking that belief by associating it that way, and you'll see the difference. You're bald, is it true?

Not true.

You're blind, is it true?

Not true.

You're dumb, is it true?

Not true.

Okay, now I'm going to start altering it. You're bald, is it true?

Not true.

Success requires hard work, is it true?

Not true.

You gave a little gap there, 1-second gap for a Don't keep that gap.

ठीक है, got it.

Just just go mechanically in the same sequence. अच्छा. Mechanically.

Got it.

Okay. You don't need to feel it. It's a mechanical process.

अच्छा.

It's a it's a monotonous process. ठीक है? So once again, you are bald. Is that true?

Not true.

You're blind. Is that true?

Not true.

You're done. Is that true?

Not true.

You're bald. Is that true?

Not true.

Success requires hard work. Is that true?

Not true.

You're blind, is that true?

Not true.

Success requires hard work, is that true?

Not true.

You're dumb, is that true?

Not true.

Success requires hard work, is that true?

Not true.

You're a girl, is that true?

Not true.

Success requires hard work, is that true?

Not true.

Okay, what did you have for dinner last night? पणीटिका, success requires hard work. Is that true?

Not true.

Check how that feels this time.

हाँ, इसके बाद ऑटोमैटिक हो गया।

In fact, say the original. Say the original statement and see how it feels.

Success requires hard work. थोड़ा भारी लग रहा है कि यार क्या है इतना hard work? यही वाला better है।

So that's the reprogramming experience. But now the second part is equally critical, which is a new belief, which is, okay, success can be effortless.

Success can be effortless.

Right now it sounds more like a positive affirmation, like a positive thought. We want to make it a belief. So again, similar process. You have hair on your head. Is that true? True. You can see. Is that true? True. You can talk, is that true? True. You have hair on your head, is that true? True. You have eyes and you can see, is that true? True. You can talk, is that true? True. Okay, now continue mechanically. You have hair on your head, is that true? True. Success can be effortless, is that true?

True.

You can see, is that true?

True.

Success can be effortless. Is that true? True. You can talk. Is that true?

True.

Success can be effortless. Is that true?

True.

What did you have for breakfast today morning?

Nothing. I'm on a 1 meal a day fast.

Oh, same here. Okay. Success can be effortless.

Is that true? True.

Okay, so say the original statement and see how How it feels now? Success can be effortless.

Success can be effortless. It's more. I can, I can give it that more benefit of doubt. Yeah. हाँ ये भी हो सकता है इस तरफ बढ़ते हैं। More believable. हाँ right.

Right. अगर ये मैं belief आपका reprogram नहीं करता, तो आपकी जो needs हैं उसमें conflict आ जाता। क्योंकि second need we've kept at comfort and then growth. And as you would have started working again, your old belief would have come back. कि लेकिन तू मेहनत करेगा नहीं तो growth होगी कैसे?

Right, correct.

Now your unconscious will say, but success can be effortless also.

Ah, beautiful. Love it. See, there's a system to it. I mean, you know, when when when you invited me for this, I had no idea. I just knew that I. और आज मुझे और कंफर्म हो गया है कि मेरी जो अपनी जिंदगी में दुबईधा चल रही थी उस दुबईधा के लिए जो मैं ऊपर वाले से मांग रहा था कि यार कोई आंसर दो तो वो ये आंसर मुझे लगा कि ये उसी का कॉल है तभी एकदम से ये बातें हो गई कि संजोग मिल गया आपके और मेरी बात हो गई और आज मुझे प्रूफ हो गया Definitely, this is whatever science system, you know, whatever you built. I'm not just saying it because like I said, you know, I can't just say it anymore. पांच साल पहले I was a people pleaser. I could, you know, now I just can't say it. You see मेरी body language में आया था तो बिल्कुल चुप-चुप था। बोले जा रहा हूँ आपके सामने because the thing is, you know, not only with your energy but I think with your system my trust is like यार ये तो this makes so much sense.

Done. Thank you so much. Appreciate you helping us in taking this message to the world. My mission on why I'm doing Manifest with IMK Show is I want the science to be revealed to people because life coaching is a domain which is very misunderstood for whatever reasons in the past, especially in India. It's like a taboo. So thank you for helping me with that mission of Manifest.

No, not at all. Thank you to you and Indu and IMK and everyone in your team. And I'm going to call my sister who believes so much in you. I haven't told her about this conversation. I'll tell her when it comes out.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you again. Appreciate it. Now, if you would love to be part of the same Platinum Program that now Avi Arya is going to be part of and live life Platinum standards, achieve the kind of success that we were talking about on this call, I'm giving you a gift. Below this video, there is a link. It's a free masterclass for you where in 1 hour on a Zoom call, I help people go through a live experience of understanding where you are right now and why are you stuck in your life. You'll have 100% clarity on that masterclass of why you are here, wherever you are in your life, why are you stuck, to go from where you are to where you want to go in your life, what's missing in between and how to achieve that. All that is possible in 1 hour on our Zoom call, which is a masterclass on Platinum membership and how one can achieve 10 years of success within in 1 year. I'll see you in that masterclass. And when you subscribe to that right now, you'll get a free gift, which is a surprise gift which will come to your email soon. So see you in the masterclass. Let's live life platinum standards, starting now.