In this motivational coaching video, Paridhi Dhingra explains why many people remain trapped by past memories that affect health, relationships, career, and finances. She argues that the root of this stuckness is the habit of blaming external people or situations, which sustains negative emotions. She presents a two‑step process to free oneself: (1) take 100 % personal responsibility for the situation, acknowledging that you attracted it, which instantly lightens the emotional load; (2) replace inauthentic "should" statements (e.g., "people should not lie") with truthful, reality‑based "shoulds" that accept how things are. To illustrate step 2, she leads a live exercise where participants point to an object in their hand (remote, pen, wall, laptop) and declare that the object should remain what it is, demonstrating that trying to force reality change only makes the speaker look foolish. She then applies the same principle to people and situations, urging listeners to loudly state authentic "shoulds" about past events, which creates a feeling of release. The video concludes with a promotional pitch for her Platinum membership—a lifelong coaching program promising accelerated success—along with standard YouTube calls to subscribe, comment, and hit the notification bell.
Chapters
There are some past experiences that we all have had, and we get stuck to those experiences, literally. So for an example, in health, let's say that something happened when you were walking on the road and you fell down, and now that memory is still fresh with you after 1 year also. And even today, when you're driving or when you're walking, you still have that fear. How many of you have a similar experience of health? May not be same experience, but a similar experience, and it is still That memory still haunts you, right? Or relationship memory. Your husband or your wife told you something 1 year ago, and that statement is running in your head again and again and again and again, even now. And you're just not able to get over that. So what happens is you're not able to move on in that relationship because you keep remembering what that person said to you in the past, what happened during that time. Somebody betrayed you, somebody cheated you. So because of that, you're not able to move forward. Here's another example of that. We have some past wounds in our career. In the past, you failed at some career opportunity, so you're not able to start again in the future. You tried some business opportunity in the past, it didn't work. So now every time you think of starting a business, you're just not able to move forward because you have this fear that what if that happens again, what if that happens again, and you're going through kind of a trauma. Financial life. You trusted somebody in the past, and because you trusted somebody in the past, you lost a lot of money. And now every time somebody asks you for money or you have to deal with somebody for money, you have this past negative memories about money and you're still stuck with it and you're not able to move in the future in that area of life. So this is a very important skill that we all need to have. So let's deal with these emotions first. But how do you deal with them? Always go the same step which I tell you in Advanced LOA Lesson Number 1. Whenever you want to let go of your past, what is the first step? Responsibility. One of the reasons you are scared, one of the reasons you are guilty, one of the reasons you are feeling cheated, betrayed, hurt— all of that is because there is a huge amount of blame on either an external person or an external situation. You believe something else was responsible for the way whatever happened in the past, and that is creating that emotion for you. So eventually, you very strongly believe right now that whatever happened with you, you were not responsible for that 100%. Somebody else was responsible for that 100%. We very strongly believe something else or somebody else did this to me. So if something else or somebody else did this to me, then for me to get over that past, who has to change first? They. Now my question is, are they changing? Now they means 2 things, people and situations. Are situations and people changing? Like for an example, divorce cases, uh, alimony problems, uh, court cases of some financial, some money problem. For how many years are you stuck with these things? Now think about it. You wasted all these years, either trying to change that situation or change that person, or trying to get justice, or trying to punish somebody for because they did something wrong to you. What have you got in return so far? इतने साल से कोशिश किया, क्या मिला अभी तक? How many of you realizing कि मिला तो कुछ नहीं, loss होता जा रहा है। So I'll give you another example. A girl is fighting divorce. And divorce because the— let's say the husband, um, abused her. I'm giving a hypothetical example right now. The husband abused her, so she decided to leave him. Okay, good decision to leave her— leave him. Very good. You are not allowed to let anybody abuse you. So maintain those standards, leave those people, and move ahead in life. Got that? But now, for the next 1 year, this girl is disturbed about this memory that this man abused her. And is now trying to constantly punish him in one way or another way, and somehow making sure that he gets punished for what he did in his life. And it's been one year. Every day she's thinking about this emotion. Even if he goes to jail, my question is, what is she going to get? Are things going to get better for her or worse? Worse. Money situation. You're doing some court case. I'm saying let the court case go on, but the more energy you're putting into that court case What are you getting in return? Nothing. So the first step, if you really want to let go of your past, step one is take your hands on your heart and repeat with me: I am 100% responsible for what happened. I'm willing to take 100% responsibility for what happened. I attracted this situation. I attracted this person. Nobody has to change. I am responsible. How do you feel when you say it with this power? That nobody else is responsible, nothing is responsible. My body is not responsible, my situations are not responsible. I am responsible for what happened. I attracted this situation in my life. And you'll realize the moment you take responsibility, this is how you feel. You feel relaxed, you feel calm, all the load is gone off your shoulders. That's the step number 1. But that's not enough. The step 2 is something amazing. But for this, I want you to do an exercise with me right now. So I want you to take any one physical item that is in your— that is in your surrounding right now. Whatever you have in your hands. Some of you can have a pen, some of you can have a marker. I don't know, whatever you have in your hands. Now, whatever you have in your hands, look at it. Okay, like I'm looking at the remote. So I'm going to say a particular statement. I want you to say that statement with me. Only I am going to use the word remote. You are going to use some other word which you have in your hands. So say remote. You should not be a remote. Did it work? Okay, let's try again. Okay, remote. You should not be a remote. Shout. थोड़ा जोर से चिल्ला के बोलो। Shout a little more. Did it work? No. Okay, let's try politely. चलो let's try politely. Remote. बेटा you should not behave like this. You should not do this to me. Okay, did it work? Did it change? Did the remote change? No? All right. Look behind you, there's a wall. Look at the wall and say, wall, you should not be a wall. Okay, did the wall change? No? Okay, let's try something else. Look at your laptop or your phone, whichever you're using right now, and say, laptop, you should not behave like this. You should behave like a mobile. Okay, and did the laptop change? No. Okay, what is the exercise saying here? A remote should be what? Remote. A pen should be what? Pen. So now tell me one thing, what should liars do? Liars should lie. But you are talking about people who lie to you and you say liars should not lie, and then you get angry about it and they magically convert into truthful people in the world. Just because you are angry with them. Yes? No. So are you taking responsibility by saying they should not lie? No. The real meaning of responsibility is first you need to say what is the way it is and take responsibility saying this is how people should behave because this is how people are. So liars should lie. What should cheaters do? Cheaters should cheat, correct? But you are saying cheaters should not cheat you. When I look at a remote and I say, you should not be a remote, you should be a pen, who is stupid? Remote is stupid or I am stupid? I'm being stupid, right? So if I'm looking at a cheater and I say, you should not cheat, who's being stupid now? The cheater is being stupid or I'm being stupid? I'm being stupid. The moment you start saying reality, that reality should be the way it is, that is called taking responsibility for that situation. The second step is stop lying to yourself and convert your false should into a true should. What is a true should? A true should is keeping shoulds the way they are, authentic instead of inauthentic. Right? So second step is always saying this should be based on reality, not this should be based on my ideas. So try doing it right now. Whatever you are stuck with in your past— these people should cheat me, these people should not support me, these people should behave like that because that's the way these people are— say it loudly for all those statements, for all those people. They should be like this. Whatever you don't like about them, say it. They should be like this. This situation should be like this. Say it loudly. Say it loudly. Don't just think it. Say it loudly. When you say they should be like this, that situation should be like this, my body should be like this, what happens to you? My relationship should be like this. My marriage should be like this. My life should be like this. My emotions should be like this. You'll suddenly feel relaxed. Now some of you are having trauma related to your own behavior in your past. So that is creating guilt for you. But that's because you're saying I shouldn't have done that in my past. Okay, say it loudly. I should have not done that in the past. Say it loudly. Come on, say it loudly. I should have not done that in the past. Suddenly, magically, you went in timeline behind in time machine and suddenly it has been unchanged. Has it been changed? No, it's still there in your past. Have you still done it? So In that moment, you were capable of doing that. So should you have done what you did in the past? Yes. I know you don't like what you did. I'm just saying you were capable of that in that moment, so you should have done it. Now, because your maturity has grown today, because your learning have grown today, will you repeat that today? I got that. I got that. So you should be what you are today, and you should be what you were in the past. If you want to be my student for the rest of your life, where you want me to be your life coach, where you want me to fulfill the promise that I give to my Platinum members, which is what I call 10 years of success in 1 year, then you join my Platinum membership program. Now, Platinum membership is not a course. Platinum membership is about going through all these courses with me and being coached by me regularly for the rest of your life in just one-time fees. Now, how does Platinum work? What results do you get in Platinum? For that also, I've given you one session completely free, which gives you complete understanding of how you can have me as your life coach for the rest of your life. The link is in the description right below this video. Quickly click on it now, register, and I'll see you there. Did this give you a lot of clarity? If you still have some more questions, tell me in the comment section below. Okay, see you soon. Subscribe to the channel, quickly hit the bell icon so that the next time I create a video, you definitely get an email. Bye-bye, see you.
