How to make correct decisions in life? | Mitesh Khatri - Law of Attraction Coach

Welcome back. Today we are going to learn how to make smart decisions in life so that we don't become stupid in life, right? Hi, my name is Mitesh Khatri and this is

Indu

Khatri. We are Law of Attraction coaches and also national bestselling authors of this book, The Law of Attraction. A lot of people have been sending us questions in our community and on YouTube asking how do they make critical decisions in certain situations of life. So I'm going to ask Indu certain questions that she's getting a lot of times from the community about decision making. And I'm going to give you a framework that will help you make smart decisions. Because believe me, smart people attract a smart life. Happy people attract a happy life. So how do you make happy decisions? How do you make right decisions? In fact, many years ago, we wrote a book together. It's called How to Make Decisions Right. So it's not how to make a right decision. It's how to make decisions right. Because there's nothing called a right or a wrong decision. It is

just you make it right or you make it wrong.

You make it right or you make it wrong. So let's understand what is this process of making right decisions. Yeah. So for an example, let's take a case study. So Indu, कोई एक सवाल बताओ which people have been asking, which we can use as a case study to help make right decisions or make decisions right.

Yeah. So there is this one lady. She's a platinum member and she is attracted to a guy. She's in a relationship with a person. He incidentally is separated from his wife. Uh,

let's do it this way. Ask me as if you are that person.

Okay, so wrong manifestation.

It's okay.

Okay, so I'm involved, uh, I'm in a relationship with a person and that person is, um, well, married but separated.

Okay.

And his divorce is going on. Okay. I've been involved in this relationship for last, maybe last for a few years actually, and the divorce is still going on. Okay, and it is becoming messy day by day, correct? Because the wife of that person is not ready to give the divorce.

Oh, and does she also know that you guys are in a relationship? Okay, and the guy is clear that he wants to be with you because he's separated with her, but the girl is not ready to give a divorce.

Yeah.

So what's your question?

But they are not even sorting it out, and this messy, uh, divorce is impacting the guy, and hence it is impacting our relationship also. So there are a lot of arguments and stuff, and in my side, my family is behind my life saying that, uh, when are you

going to get married? I didn't think of that. Okay, so what's the question you have?

So the question I have is, what should I do? Should I continue with this guy? Should I skip out of the relationship, look for another guy?

Okay, so whenever we are making decisions, no matter how easy or difficult the situation is, step 1 is always take a paper, write your options down. So let's ask Indu, in this situation, what are the options we have? So option number 1, what is your option?

Option number 1, I continue in this relationship. Option 2, I, uh, discontinue with this relationship

knowing he's— it's messy with his wife and all. So I just— I leave him.

I leave him.

Okay.

And option 3, I leave him with the condition that the day you get divorced, come back to me.

Now if you observe, all 3 options look confusing in their own way. And clear on their own way. So how do you clear this out? So for each option, there are two things in life.

Yeah. Before that, can I? Yeah. Ah. So all of you must be thinking based on your own capacity. All of you must be thinking कि अरे इतना सोचना क्या है? इसमें ऑप्शन ये ले लो, बात खत्म करो। This must be the thinking. But that is your capacity of everything else. Mitesh is going to say later. Okay. So just hold on. Don't conclude on this. Just hold on. Listen to Mitesh and then take the decision.

Wow! Wife saying listen to the husband. Mother वाली बात है ना? All right, so let's get ready. Option number one, two and three. Each of these options always have two things in life. Each decision in life always has two things in life. Yeah. It's called cost and benefit, right? It has a cost for each option and there is a benefit for each option.

Absolutely.

Do we really need to ask anybody in the world that are you okay to enjoy the benefits of this decision? No. कुछ नहीं की ज़रूरत ही नहीं, right? Benefits तो सबको अच्छे लगते हैं। Everybody loves enjoying the benefits. Yeah. What makes a decision right is this. Okay, before we even tell you what makes a decision right, here is the problem part. The problem in making decisions is example, if you be with him, the cost is

the cost.

It's going to impact you.

It is impacting my state of mind. It is creating a lot of uncertainty.

Correct. Anxiety. He may marry you, may not marry you.

This even divorce may go for another three four years. Yeah. So we may not marry. We may not. I may not get tag of being.

Are you happy with this cost?

No. And I have to answer my family also.

So so that's also a cost.

Yeah.

So that's a problem now. What is the problem? The problem is in this case she wants to enjoy the benefits of being with him.

Yes, emotional support.

But doesn't want to pay the cost of this situation, of this option as a decision.

Yes,

but every decision in the world has a cost. We are all looking for a decision which has a better option, which doesn't have the cost.

No cost.

Cost नहीं चाहिए, सिर्फ़ benefit चाहिए. But each of these options has a cost and a benefit all. Let's take the second option. Second option you said was you leave him completely.

Yes.

Right? Let go of him completely because all this mess is going on. What is the cost of that?

The cost of that is that right now this guy is giving me huge emotional support. So I, वो चला जाएगा। वो पूरा चला जाएगा। I am I am left with alone. So I have loneliness. Then again emotional support is not there.

And you love him.

तो वो भी चला जाएगा। Nobody is to support there to talk and the love is also not there.

तो companionship भी

गई। Companionship, love, intimacy.

Are you happy to let go of that? देखा, देखा। Benefits सबको चाहिए। Option का cost किसी को pay नहीं करना है। Say this with me. I want to make a decision. Say it loudly.

I want to make a decision, but I do not want to pay the cost.

Yeah, ये problem है. This is why we are not able to make decisions in life. Forget about right or wrong decisions. We are not able to make decisions. We remain stuck in between. ना जाएँ यहाँ जाते हैं, ना वहाँ जाते हैं.

That's also a decision, by the way.

That is unconsciously also a decision. जिसका भी एक cost है. और उससे भी हम we are not okay with that cost also. But let's come to the option number three. Option number three क्या आपका?

Option number three ये है कि मैं उसके साथ उसको discontinue कर दूँ so that right now it stops impacting me but tell him that I will wait

for

it. I'll wait for it.

Okay, are you okay with this cost? उसका cost क्या है by the way?

उसका cost ये है कि one मेरा emotional support भी चला जाएगा और दूसरा मेरा मैं दूसरे जगह जाके date भी नहीं कर सकती क्योंकि

wait कर रही है

because मैं wait कर रही हूँ तो I'm coming कितना

wait होगा पता नहीं

और कितना wait होगा पता नहीं and I'm still answering my family I'm still taking care of my anxiety worry You're okay with this cost? No, not at

all. अरे कौन सा पहले का cost चाहिए ना, दूसरे का cost चाहिए ना, तीसरे का cost चाहिए। This is not only problem of this particular person as a situation right now. This is a problem with humanity. All human beings want to make decisions.

They don't want to pay the cost.

Cost नहीं pay करना। खाना खाना है, restaurant में bill नहीं भरना है। पर ऐसा हो नहीं सकता। I'll tell you why. Cost is an option or reality?

It's a reality which we are paying anyway. In this case also, the girl is paying because if she is in the relationship and so she is going through the trauma, answering her family, going through anxiety. Cost तो चली रहा है। Cost she is paying. But not with choice. Without choice.

Without choice. So listen to this carefully. Pay the cost with conscious choice. Listen to me. Pay the cost with conscious choice. If you don't pay it, you will anyways pay it unconsciously and you will suffer.

Absolutely.

Like unconsciously तो cost चली रहा है। और सफरिंग भी चल रही है, तो उससे अच्छा है टेक अप पेपर, डेडिकेट वन पेपर ओनली फॉर वन डिसीजन। अगर तीन ऑप्शन हैं तो इसमें तीन ऑप्शन हैं ना? And for each you'll put a line in the center and right side में आप लिखोगे बेनिफिट क्या है, और लेफ्ट साइड में आप लिखोगे कॉस्ट क्या है। So cost and benefits. After you've written all the costs and all the benefits between all three decisions, now for the first time in your life you will ask yourself a very important question which you have never asked yourself before. And the question is this:

Which cost do you want to pay?

So let me ask you,

which cost do you? If if I were that girl, it's a second option. Leave

him. Now,

but

you remember? Yeah. So you remember what she said in the beginning? Some of you will say, इसमें क्या बड़ी बात है? ये वाला कर लो, दूसरा ऑप्शन ले लो, तीसरा ऑप्शन ले लो। No. Why? Each person's emotional capacity to pay a cost is very different. Why? Who has to live with the cost? Me. In my case, I have to live with the cost. In your case, you have to live with the cost. So. Never ask somebody else.

तू क्या करेगा?

तू क्या करेगा? Don't ask somebody else which is a better decision in this because they will answer based on

their capacity, emotional capacity, physical capacity, pay the cost, and mental capacity.

So when I ask her that okay, which cost do you want to pay? She's not looking at the right decision. There is no right decision here.

There is no right decision.

Each decision has a cost. Yeah. What makes a decision right is this. Now here is the formula. The formula is When we pay the cost willingly and consciously, the decision becomes right

for that

person. For that person. If you pay the same cost unconsciously, unwillingly, the decision becomes wrong for that person. Again, why do I say that? It may be wrong for her, but I may be looking at her life and saying, इतना क्या बड़ा drama है? मेरे को तो लग रहा है सही कर रहे हो। You see, this opinion comes from my ability to pay the cost.

Exactly. So remember, in this example, so I am taking the option of second, right, which is disconnect completely and let go of this, go through the suffering for whatever few days, take the help of Platinum, uh, support calls and come out of it, and then be open for a new relationship. But this is based on my emotional capacity. If somebody else is looking at it, he or she may think that I'm taking a wrong decision. Because it is depending on their capacity, they'll think. तो remember that you are making the decision right for yourself, not for anybody else. किसी को जाके बोलना मत ये सही है क्या? सामने वाला बोलेगा ना अपने हिसाब से बोलेगा, आपके हिसाब से नहीं बोलेगा।

So be that student right

now.

Don't be Hindu. Hindu is very clear. Be that student right now. So option number two छोड़ दो उसको problem खत्म हो जाएगी।

फिर emotional support नहीं है मेरे पास।

वो भी चाहिए।

वो भी चाहिए।

चलो कोई बात नहीं है काम करो उसको बोलो अभी छोड़ देते हैं give him time to divorce and then wait for him

नहीं

वो तो

बहुत ही बुरा ऑप्शन है

तो पहला ऑप्शन ले लेते हैं जैस जो जैसा है वैसा रहने दो

हाँ

जितना टाइम लग रहा है लगने दो

वो भी बुरा ऑप्शन है

बुरा ऑप्शन है क्यों बुरा ऑप्शन है उसमें क्या कॉस्ट है उसका क्या कॉस्ट है?

उसका कॉस्ट ये है कि मेरे को कोई और ढूंढना

पड़ेगा। और उसको छोड़ना भी नहीं। तो कोई बात नहीं, उसको टेम्पररी छोड़ो और उसको बोलो मैं वेट करती हूँ। जब तेरा डिवोर्स हो जाए तो वापस आ जाना। क्या प्रॉब्लम है?

वो तो बहुत ही बुरा ऑप्शन है ना?

वो तो मै How long have you lived with this kind of a confusion with these three options?

This lady is living with this for a couple of years now.

दो साल हो गए.

To the level that yesterday I told her that no more asking question, leave him.

Question is, what is the capacity of a human being to live with this kind of a confusion for how long? कितने साल जी सकते हैं हम?

कितने साल जी सकते हैं?

हमारे पास बहुत सारे ऐसे केसेस हैं जहाँ

पे लोगों ने दस पंद्रह पंद्रह साल जैसे कोर्ट केस चल रहा है या मैरिज केस चल रहा है पंद्रह पंद्रह साल चल रहा

है चल ही

रहा है या ऑफ़

कोर्स अब ये तो एक एरिया हुआ अगर आपने पेपर पे लिख के लिख लिया और अगर ये डिसाइड कर लिया that the formula of making decision is right I am going to make a decision which is my right decision by consciously and willingly paying one cost I don't want to be that person in my life who doesn't make a decision I am going to make a decision पहले ये decide कर लो make a decision कि मुझे decisive होना है मुझे बीच में नहीं रहना है ठीक है अब decide कर लो कि इन तीनों में से कौन सा cost pay करना है if you willingly pay the cost ना that decision will become right for her और बाद में अगर किसी ने उनको regret कराने की कोशिश की ना कि तुमने जो किया गलत किया what will you say मेरे लिए सही था let's take couple of more examples for this मान लो you are doing a job And you're not happy with that job. Yeah. And you want to start a business. Yes. बहुत सारे लोग अपने को community में पूछते हैं ये सवाल, right? So let's say now you do the whole thing with me. I want to I'm doing a job right now and I want to do a business. What's the first question you would ask me?

What are your options?

See, write down. What are your options? So my option is keep doing my job and wait for my promotion. जब होगा तब होगा. Second, I can just leave the job and start something on the side. Third option is I can also do side by side job भी करते रहो थोड़ा साथ में कुछ चालू कर दो. Hope no no certification या something like that. What do you think?

It's up to you. You tell me which one you you're finding it more beneficial.

I'm confused मुझे तीनों में से I'm not able to decide.

What is the reason of confusion?

I'm not clear पहले तो clear है नहीं है कि cost है क्या?

Job छोड़ दिया तो क्या होगा?

चलो अगर मैं job छोड़ दिया तो सबसे पहले तो जो monthly salary वो चली जाएगी ना मेरी monthly security चली जाएगी मुझे आदत नहीं है security के बिना जीने की।

Absolutely.

तो वो नहीं करना चाहता।

Parallelly किया तो क्या होगा?

बहुत स्ट्रेस होगा। मुझे वीकेंड पे भी काम करना पड़ेगा, फैमिली लाइफ सैक्रिफाइस करनी पड़ेगी, रात को 9 बजे आने के बाद में ऑफिस के बाद वो भी काम करना पड़ेगा। कैसे करूँगा?

और अगर बिजनेस नहीं करते, जॉब ही कंटिन्यू करते हैं, तो क्या होगा?

यार ऐसे कैसे हो सकता है? Because I want to grow like my colleagues। मेरे कुछ क I'm trying the first one which is I want to continue doing this job but कर नहीं पा रहा हूँ

क्यों

अच्छा नहीं लग रहा है job पे millionaire बनना है तो constantly दिमाग में चलता रहता है

millionaire बनने में कोई cost नहीं पे करना millionaire बनने

के हाँ पर अगर मैंने अगर अभी job छोड़ दिया तो security चली जाएगी ना

हाँ तो वही तो cost वही है risk taking risk

मैं side by side करने की try कर रहा हूँ लेकिन problem क्या है कि एक तो क्या कर और अगर कर रहा हूँ तो टाइम नहीं मिल रहा है।

तो फिर वो स्ट्रेस का क्या करेंगे? अगर टाइम मिल गया आपको।

फिर तो एक ही ऑप्शन है जॉब छोड़ दो। हाँ। but फिर सिक्योरिटी चली जाएगी।

Can you see?

This is what going on a person's mind constantly.

Constantly.

One option, second option, third option. One option, second option, third option.

You're just tossing the ball.

Just tossing the ball and throwing and dropping so many balls at the same time. हाँ कहीं पे भी अच्छा काम नहीं हो रहा है ना ना जॉब में अच्छा काम हो रहा है ना बिजनेस कर पा रहा हूँ ना सीख पा रहा हूँ। Stress, anxiety, and then now what happens is we keep buying courses of different companies to just learn कि अच्छा शायद इससे पैसा आ जाएगा, शायद इससे पैसा आ जाएगा, शायद stock marketing कर लूँगा, ये कर लूँगा, वो कर लूँगा। But decision अभी भी clear नहीं हुआ है, तो करना क्या है?

First it's a very common question we get up by the way every other day I answer this question in community.

So first make a decision क्या decision? कि मुझे decision लेना है। I don't want to be in a limbo.

Indecisively

indecisively रहना क्योंकि उसकी तो बहुत बड़ी cost है। सफरिंग आती है उसमें मैंने क्या बोला? Pay the cost with willingness and choice. If you do, your decision becomes right. If you pay the same cost with unwillingness, unconsciousness, आप pay करते रहोगे decision का cost, लेकिन सफर करोगे। So उससे अच्छा कि decision ले लो, correct?

Absolutely.

So if you had to ask me the same question again, let's do that cost analysis. So what I would do is I would write down the cost and the benefits of each of my options and And I have to be very clear. कौन सा कॉस्ट हिम्मत से पे करने को तैयार हूँ?

And remember, we we we forgot to tell you in the beginning. It has to be done by writing down. You cannot do it mentally नहीं कर सकते because when you do it mentally, your mind is very smart. उस वक्त आपको बहुत अच्छे से कुछ और manipulate कर देगा थोड़ी देर बाद में benefit की तरफ attract कर देगा. So always write down, think about it, write down. I always suggest to my students sit with a cup of coffee, write down properly. Then think about it and answer the question. Okay, so now in your case, what do you want to do?

I think what I'm going to do is very clearly I'm going to upskill myself. I'm going to learn a course that is going to give me some skills to make my own business, start my own business, like an online coaching program. The cost is while doing a job, I will have to put in extra time and I'll have to sacrifice some of my personal life. I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to pay that cost. I'm clear about it.

Perfect. Congratulations.

I'll do that for three months, and after three months when I have that skill, I will then quit my job. And yes, my sense of security of job will go away, but I'm willing to pay that cost for six months. I will keep that money for six months ready. छह महीने का। और अगर छह महीने में वो decision के बाद भी I couldn't build my business, I'm clear. I will pay the cost of coming back to the job. No problem. But I want to give it a shot.

Perfect. Congratulations.

देखा? Now let's come back to her. So what do you want to do about this guy? Which cost are you willing to pay based on your capacity?

I want to quit completely.

Okay, and you will pay what cost willingly?

Willingly, I'll pay the suffering, missing him, missing love, missing intimacy for some time, and I'll go through the Platinum courses. I'll, uh, you'll take support, work on myself, take support from Platinum members, from Mitesh, and then later I'll obviously open my heart to others.

So you'll pay the cost willingly, and you'll evolve yourself as a person in that decision.

In that decision.

But that's your right decision.

Yes.

Would it be right for me?

May not be.

May not be. You have to choose what's right for you from the cost paying ability.

Your ability.

Your ability. So summarizing the decision making process again, how do you make decisions right? Step one: Write down your options on a paper. Like Indu said, दिमाग में नहीं करना है, लिखना है. If you don't write it, your process काम नहीं करता है और अनवाइडेड

अटेंशन देना है लिखने को भी

पूरा आधा एक घंटा दो घंटा एक जगह बैठके राइट डाउन ऑल योर ऑप्शंस आफ्टर राइटिंग ऑन ऑप्शंस इच पेपर वन पेपर डेडिकेटेड तू वन ऑप्शन पुट अ लाइन इन द सेंटर कॉस्ट एंड बेनिफिट्स लिखो हर ऑप्शन के राइट द कॉस्ट इन एस मच डिट लिख लो तीनों का। अब एक ही ऑप्शन बचा है उसके पास। तीसरा स्टेप इज़ रीड थ्रू द कॉस्ट ऑफ़ इच ऑफ़ दिस पॉइंट्स एंड आस्क योरसेल्फ, विच कॉस्ट एम आई विलिंग टू पे कॉन्शियसली इन द फ्यूचर?

That's it.

That's it.

And I am. Remember, it is you who is willing to pay consciously. Don't go to पापा, मम्मी, भाई, बहन.

कौन सा राइट डिसीजन है?

कौन सा So it has to be your choice, not anybody else's choice.

So responsibility lies with us, right? So are you ready to make decisions now? If this video helped you already, please tell us in the comment section what did you like about today's video, how much is it going to help you, what big decisions are you going to make today itself. Tell us about those big decisions. We would love to know that we played a role in you making a decision and taking your life in another direction, because decisions are directions. Directions take you to a certain destination, and when multiple destinations are reached, you create your destiny. So please take control of your decisions. If you like today's video, there's a like button down there in the YouTube video. जल्दी से like कर दो इसको and there's

a subscribe button. Please subscribe and hit the bell icon.

Hit the bell icon because then you get notification for the next video. If you want to be part of a long course like this where we teach people regularly, we support people regularly, like she spoke about our platinum members, you're welcome to come and attend our platinum introduction program where we give give you in-depth understanding of how you can be part of a huge support system like this forever. Whenever you're stuck, Indu is available, I am available, more than 1,000 such Platinum members are available to support you so that you can achieve 10 years of success in 1 year. It's possible. And if you're interested and committed, there's a link in the description. Quickly register now. We'll see you in the Platinum membership webinar.

Perfect.

Bye.