In this unscripted live coaching session, Paridhi Dhingra (co‑coach) guides participant Akshata through a practical NLP‑based method for turning fear into comfort. The session begins with a conceptual framing: fear cannot be "not felt"; instead, one should cultivate its opposite – comfort – because positive actions and feelings are possible while negative ones are not. The coach explains that the lack of a vocabulary for the opposite feeling keeps the fear alive. The core technique, called the "fear‑removing technique," consists of three steps: (1) write down the specific fear, (2) define the desired state of comfort related to that fear, and (3) identify three areas in the participant’s life where she already feels genuine comfort (e.g., walking, eating, reading). The coach then repeatedly asks the participant to affirm comfort in those familiar areas while alternating the question to the target fear (e.g., "Are you comfortable walking?" followed by "Are you comfortable closing a client?"). This rapid affirmation creates a subconscious transfer of the comfort feeling to the feared domain. The method is demonstrated on three common fears – public speaking, closing sales clients, and the existential fear of losing people – with the participant repeatedly shifting from "I’m scared" to "I’m comfortable" after a few minutes. The coach emphasizes that the technique works because it replaces negative programming with positive, actionable language, and it can be applied to any area of life. The session ends with the participant reporting a genuine feeling of comfort in previously feared situations, illustrating the claimed effectiveness of the approach.
Chapters
Okay.
Say it.
I'm comfortable losing people. I mean, I am. What was that?
See, the fear has turned into comfort.
Okay.
In fact, say the statement, I'm scared of losing people, as a rehearsal and see how it feels. Does it feel real?
No.
Try it.
I'm scared of losing people. No.
Doesn't feel real?
No.
I'm comfortable losing people.
Yeah, I'm comfortable losing people.
Today we are learning how to overcome fear. Yes, fear is the one thing that stops us from achieving a lot of things in life. Wouldn't you agree? Let's learn how to overcome fear now. Those of you who are meeting me for the first time today, my name is Mitesh Khatri. I and my wife Indu Khatri, we are Law of Attraction coaches and national bestselling authors of this book, The Law of Attraction. When we talk about overcoming fear, it's actually a very simple thing. We don't need to work on fear. We need to work on the opposite of fear. Why? You cannot not feel something. It's not possible. But you can feel something. That's possible. See, negative action cannot be taken. Positive action can be taken. Example, I don't want to do this. That's not an action. I want to do this. That is an action. So just like that, if you say I don't want to feel scared, not possible. I want to feel peaceful. That is possible. So we don't need to work on fear. We need to work on the opposite of fear. Now the question is, what is the opposite of fear? So I have my team member here right now who's doing the recordings with me. I'm just going to ask her right now. So Akshata, what is the opposite of fear?
Fearlessness.
Fearless. Fearless का opposite होता है fearful. तो opposite fearless कैसे हो? What is the opposite of fear? देखा? नहीं मालूम स्कूल में ना opposite words was the easiest game ever played in life है ना black का opposite क्या white colorful का opposite क्या black and white fear का opposite क्या है मालूम ही नहीं है तो feel कैसे करोगे so जो vocabulary में हमारे word ही नहीं है उसको आप feel कैसे करोगे fear वाला word vocabulary में है उसी को use करते रहते हो so you keep using the word fear you keep feeling fear you don't have the vocabulary of opposite of fear so you don't feel that make sense so let's understand what is the opposite of fear अरे बाबा, the opposite of fear is when I tell you the answer you're going to do this. कि इतना सिंपल था सूझा क्यों नहीं? The opposite of fear is comfort. कैसे? People who are comfortable are not scared. Think about it. When you go to the roller coaster, aren't there people who are comfortable saying मैं तो करूँगा?
Yes.
I am comfortable going in the roller coaster. But there are others who are saying मुझसे नहीं होगा बाबा. So scared and comfortable. Public speaking को ले लो. One of the largest biggest fears in the world is called as fear of public speaking. Two type of people: people who go on the stage very comfortably. उनको fear होता है, क्योंकि opposite of fear is comfort. Isn't it comfort? It's not confidence. It's not fearlessness. It's comfort. So the question is: do we need to work on fear or do we need to work on comfort? We need to work on comfort. So how do we do that? Here is how we do it. I'll tell you a simple technique which we practice in our NLP workshop. All you need to do: this is called the fear removing technique. We, we say create comfort, don't remove fear. Easily fear gets removed automatically. How do you do it? Take 3 things where you are already comfortable and replace and alternate, say, anything else that you want to be comfortable with. Example. So I'll give you the exact steps, okay? Step 1, write down what are you scared of. What's your fear? What's your biggest fear? What's your smallest fear? What is your medium level fear? Doesn't really matter. Write down what's your fear. So we'll take one of the common examples. Fear of public speaking. Do we need to remove the fear? No, we need to work on step two. What is the step two? Work on being comfortable with what? Balokshada. Public speaking. Ha! So now being comfortable with public speaking is your game. Your game is not to remove the fear. You can never do the negative. You can only do the positive. You can work on comfort. You can never remove fear. So step two is what? Being comfortable with public speaking. How do you do it? Step three. Say three things that you are already comfortable with. Genuinely. Example again, I'll do it with Akshata. Akshata, so I'll do it on with Akshata on screen. She's taking care of her makeup because I'm giving her a surprise right now. Ah, you're looking good. So Akshata, simple exercise. I'm going to say three things that you're already very comfortable. Okay. Okay. And I want you to answer yes.
Okay.
If you're really genuinely comfortable with that. Um, are you comfortable walking or do you need somebody's help?
I am comfortable walking.
Correct. Are you comfortable eating your own food or do you need somebody's help to?
I need. I'm comfortable. You need help to?
She needs help to serve her food also.
इतना pampering मिलता है घर पे। No no no. I'm comfortable.
खुद से खा लेते हो ना?
Yes.
Okay. So first thing comfortable walking. Second thing comfortable eating food. Okay. Third thing comfortable reading.
Yes.
You don't need somebody's help to read a book for you.
No no.
Okay. Now I'm going to take these three things and make her feel comfortable by reminding these three things to her. See, we are not going to create comfort for public speaking. I'm going to remind her the comfort that she already feels in some three areas of life and then transfer that feeling of comfort in. Public speaking. देखो कैसे करते हैं। By the way, are you really comfortable with public speaking?
Yes.
You are. Okay. So tell me some other fear that you have.
Closing client.
Closing clients. Okay. चलो। So you don't have fear of closing clients. You're just not comfortable with closing clients.
Correct.
Correct. So step one is we've identified the fear. Fear of closing clients in sales. Comfort क्या चाहिए हमको? Comfort comfort of closing clients. So you may win the client. You may not win the client. But at least that comfort has to be of closing a client. Correct. तो अब step three क्या है? Taking three things where you're really comfortable. जो हमने decide कर लिए. कौनसी है पहली?
Walking, eating, eating and reading.
And reading. चलो. So I will ask you, are you comfortable walking? What are you gonna say?
Yes.
So let's start. Are you comfortable walking? Yes. अकेले अक्षयदा को नहीं करना है. मैं आपसे भी करवा रहा हूँ. चलो जल्दी बोलो. I am purposely taking three things which are so common that not only it applies to अक्षयदा it applies to you also. So चलो. Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you saying yes? Say yes. Are you comfortable eating your own food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating your own food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating your own food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
She's saying yes. Are you also saying yes? Now watch what's going to happen. I'm going to say the word comfort for her for the first thing. What's the first thing? Walking. The second time, alternate, I'm going to say, are you comfortable closing a client? You're going to mechanically say yes. By transferring the feeling of comfort from walking to client. Why do I call it transfer? अभी feel किया ना? Yes. तो साथ में continuous बोलना easy है.
Okay.
Example, are you comfortable walking? Yes. अब बिना सोचे समझे इसी तरीके से yes बोलना.
Okay.
Ready?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable closing a client?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating your own food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading books?
Yes.
Are you comfortable closing a client?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable closing a client?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating?
Yes.
Are you comfortable closing a client?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading?
Yes.
Are you comfortable closing a client?
Yes.
What did you have for dinner last night? Are you comfortable closing your clients? Yes. I purposely asked her what did she have dinner for last night because that interrupted her pattern, and then while she was thinking about dinner, I immediately asked her Are you comfortable closing a client? What did your subconscious answer?
Yes.
Yes, because that has become your new program. Try it. I'm comfortable closing up— closing a client. Say it and see how real it feels.
I'm comfortable closing a client. I'm comfortable closing a client. I'm comfortable closing a client.
Does it feel real?
Yes.
Now say, I'm not comfortable closing a client. See if that feels real.
I'm not comfortable closing a client. It don't feel
See, her brain has been completely rewired from fear to comfort. Now, once you know this technology of how to take fear to comfort, the point is not closing a client, the point is not public speaking. The point is, once you know the technology of how to do this, which you've learned right now with Akshata, where can you apply this now?
In closing the client
and
making more money
and
in my life.
What are the other fears that you would like to stop? And you would like to feel comfortable in that area?
Uh, losing people.
Okay, so you've got fear of losing people.
Yes.
You can't stop that.
I cannot stop that.
What is step 2?
I can be comfortable if people—
In losing people?
Yeah.
Yes. By the way, whether you like it or not, are we going to lose people in life?
Yes.
So would you rather be fearful of it or would you rather be comfortable with it?
Comfortable.
Easy to say. But it's the feeling that matters,
right?
Correct. You can do that right now. Let's do it again. Let's see if the strategy works the second time.
Okay.
First time can be coincidence, but if the second time it's working, that means it's a science.
Okay.
Everyone ready? Because I think losing someone is a fear that we all have. So let's work on that. Okay. Now, first I want you to say, I'm not comfortable losing people.
I'm not comfortable losing people.
How true does that feel right now?
It feels very true.
Very true, right? Now say, I'm comfortable losing people. Say it.
I'm comfortable losing people.
Are you able to say it? Does it feel comfortable? Does it feel real?
No,
it's not real, right? Let's see if this shifts. So right now you are scared of losing people.
Yes.
Say it. I'm scared of losing people.
I'm scared of losing people.
How true does that feel?
It's true.
See, feels very true. Now let's see if it changes. Same method. I'm not going to work on removing your fear. I'm just going to make you feel comfortable. How? By finding three areas where you're already comfortable. We've already chosen those three things. What are those three things?
Walking, eating food, and reading.
Right? So let's take the same three things. You can take anything, by the way. But for now, to make it easy, I'm just going to use three things. So once again, are you comfortable walking on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating your food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating your own food?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Now when I start now, the trick is you will not think.
Okay.
You continue saying yes in the same way. And the reason I'm going to alternate, because I'm going to transfer the comfort of walking to losing people.
Okay.
Or being comfortable with losing people.
Okay.
And the same I'm gonna do with eating and reading.
Reading.
Ready?
Yeah.
Done. Now you know the drill, so I hope you're doing it with me. So are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you comfortable walking?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you comfortable eating on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading?
Yes.
Are you comfortable reading on your own?
Yes.
Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes. Yes.
What did you have for breakfast yesterday morning? Are you comfortable losing people?
Yes. Okay.
Now try it.
Okay.
Say, I'm scared of losing people, and see how true it feels. Say it.
I— okay.
Say it.
I'm comfortable losing people. I'm I am. What what was that?
See, the fear has crowned into comfort.
Okay.
In fact, say the statement I'm scared of losing people as a rehearsal and see how it feels. Does it feel real?
No, I'm right. I'm scared
of
losing people. No.
Doesn't feel real.
No.
I'm comfortable losing people.
Yeah, I'm comfortable losing people.
How much time did we take for this?
Two minutes.
Twenty three minutes.
Yes.
Now that we know the technology, you can apply it to what?
In any area of my life.
There you go. Give her a big round of applause for practicing this. By the way, she was shooting me behind the camera. I gave her a surprise by calling her here, so this was completely unscripted, right?
Yes.
Awesome. So tell us, how did you like today's technique? And did you love this fear-removing technique and comfort-creating technique? If yes, tell me in the comment section that you're going to try it, and what are you going to try it on? Watch this video again and again, reverse it, play it, work with me and Akshata exactly as if I am working with you, not just I'm working with her. And tell me if you removed your fear. And if you did, go deeper into the science with me. There's a link below this video in the description. Click on that link and register right now for the amazing course called NLP, called as Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It gives you the power to not only remove fear but take your life to the next level. I told you in the beginning, people keep working with fear. How about working to creating an amazing life? That's what NLP is about. So if you loved it, give a quick like to this video, share it with minimum 3 of your friends who you know need to work on their fears, and subscribe to the channel and hit the bell icon so next time we create such amazing videos where we give Akshata another surprise like this. If you liked that surprise, hit the bell icon so that the next time these kind of surprises happen, you get a notification for it. See you soon in the next video. Bye-bye.
