The Secret Reason You Feel Weak Is This One Wound

Are you dealing with rejection of any kind in your life right now? Somebody rejecting you in a relationship or somebody rejecting you in a job? Let's understand how do you deal with rejection today. But the first part is not about the rejection itself. The important part is when we get rejected, how do we feel, right? So the moment— imagine you got rejected right now. We get emotions like anger, hurt, feelings of fearful, And then it triggers its own thoughts. It triggers thoughts and beliefs like, I'm not good enough. Why did this happen to me? This is not fair. Why are people doing this to me? All these thoughts and beliefs also get triggered, right? Every time we go through these emotions and these thoughts and these beliefs, this is the pattern that needs to be stopped first. But what we're not realizing is that rejection is creating all this. And because it is creating all these emotions, why it is even so critical to manage rejection. Because if you don't manage these emotions now, Imagine you could get used to being hurt. Now you keep repeating what? The pattern of anger, the pattern of hurt, the pattern of fear, the thoughts of I am not good enough. And once it starts becoming a pattern, the problem is not the first rejection. The problem is this pattern, because now this pattern will attract more situations of rejections. Now I will go through rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection, which is just a result pattern. But that result pattern is basically a result of these emotions. So what do we really need to work on first? Do we need to work on the rejection that you're going through right now, or the emotions of hurt, anger, fear, and these beliefs of I'm not good enough, what will happen, how will I take care of my family? This is what we need to take care of first, don't you think? Think about it. When we say rejection in one area, on the surface it looks like rejection in that area. But what is it internally? It is fear only, na? It is that whatever emotion it is triggering is inside you, correct? Now, the same person is dealing with other areas of life, so the emotions are going to create a pattern of problems in other areas of life. Look at it like this. There is a dustbin in front of me, okay? And I've covered it with gelatin paper, which is very beautiful, but inside there's a lot of crap. That crap is emotions, thoughts, beliefs. Now, will it attract mosquitoes, bacteria? It will. But can you tell me which direction will the mosquitoes come from? It's like saying, I am only rejected in job. What has that got to do with my relationship? अरे but the crap is inside me.

So you're saying if I'm rejected in a job and I live with that feeling, I will get rejected in my personal life also, in love also.

Try not to.

Fair, makes sense.

Right? My point is, try to keep some crap in the dustbin and try not to get the bacteria from one direction or another. They will come from everywhere because now it's a frequency of that dustbin, right? Like an area, if you keep putting crap over there, that area becomes a dirty area. That's what's happening with our body and our mind. It's becoming a dustbin when we keep adding all these emotions of anger and hurt and fear and these thoughts of I'm not good enough. This is not fair. लोगों ने ऐसा क्यों किया मेरे साथ? It's not fair. Are there people who are not bothered by that?

Yeah.

So then that means the situation is not to be fixed first.

Correct.

The emotional pattern has got to be fixed first.

So we need to fix inside.

Yes. So today what we want to deal with first is how do we stop these negative emotions and beliefs so that not only can you manage the rejection that you're going through now, but we can stop the unnecessary following rejections. Now that you're ready to really deal with these emotions and these beliefs, do you agree that if we don't first stop these patterns, the rejection will continue?

Yeah.

Now, question is simple. Do you want to continue the rejections in life? No. No, right? So first we need to deal with these patterns. So for that, now comes the next question. What is rejection? And why is rejection creating all these patterns? Let's understand that first, okay? On the surface level, it may look like rejection is somebody said no to me for a job. Somebody said no to me for a relationship. I asked money from somebody and they said, नहीं दूँगा। On the surface, it looks like that, but it's not as simple as this. Rejection is not about somebody saying no to you for something. It is about managing needs. Whenever you say no to me, some of my needs were not fulfilled. That is why I got hurt. When I'm going for a job and they say no to me for the job, we are only focusing on they saying no. But that's not the important part. After they say no, why did I feel bad? Because my need of security was not fulfilled, which is what I wanted from the job. अब जॉब नहीं मिला, सिक्योरिटी नहीं मिली, तो नीड नहीं पूरी हुई। So is the real problem the need or the rejection of the job?

The need being unfulfilled.

The need is unfulfilled.

तो अगर relationship में देखें तो how will this work?

Somebody said no to you for a relationship. On the surface, it looks like the girl said no to you. But at the depth of it, your need of love got unfulfilled. And now there is fear connected to that. That oh, if she doesn't love me, who will? Then maybe this was my last chance to feel like that. Will anybody ever feel like this about me? Or will I feel like this about anybody anymore in future? Again, at a surface level, it looks like fear. Let's go below that. It's about the need of love. डर आ क्यों रहा है प्यार की वजह से ना? अगर प्यार की need ही नहीं होती तो और कोई आपको ना बोल देता तो

फर्क ही नहीं

पड़ता। फर्क ही नहीं पड़ता ना? इसलिए तो boys देखे होंगे ना कुछ college में लड़के होते हैं जो flirt होते हैं playboys। उनकी need प्यार नहीं है उनकी नीड मस्ती है, है ना? तो उन वो किसी लड़की को जाके प्रपोज करते हैं, वो लड़की ना बोल देती है। उसको क्या फील होता है?

लगता

है कि नहीं पड़ता।

And now there are other boys who are like, यार how do you handle so much rejection? He's not going through any rejection because he doesn't have the need of love. He was just having fun, right? Once you learn how to manage your needs, now it doesn't matter who says no to you. Now same goes for a job. Why do people feel bad about not getting a job? Which need are they trying to fulfill from getting a job? Security, right?

Validation.

There's another emotion which is connected to job, which everybody has told us from the time of school, that that emotion is associated to job. Tell me, what is that emotion? Pride. Good, pride and success. कि बेटा बड़ा हो के अच्छा जॉब लेना, है ना? जब तेरे को अच्छी जॉब मिल जाएगी तू सक्सेसफुल हो जाएगा। So it is connected to success as an emotion. It is connected to pride as an emotion. So which means that need is what is driving you.

Right.

So now if that need is the real problem, so do we need to handle the sense of security first or do we need to handle the job first?

सेंस ऑफ सिक्योरिटी।

दे जॉब बिल ऑटोमैटिकली हाँ,

because see let's say you don't fix the security part। हम्म, जॉब मिल गया। Can you guarantee me you'll not be insecure about something else?

हम्म, मेरे को जॉब करने के टाइम पे ये नहीं हो रहा।

हाँ, अब बॉस ने ये चीज़ के लिए मना कर दिया। अरे, वीकेंड के लिए मना कर दिया। हाँ, working late के लिए मना कर दिया। Work from home के लिए मना कर दिया। उसका अलग rejection चल रहा है। हाँ, कितने लोगों का rejection चल रहा है work from home? I'm getting emails saying I'm working from home, I'm not getting a work-from-home opportunity, I'm depressed. Yeah, people are depressed for that reason. But if you look at it, this conversation did not exist before COVID

Yeah.

So now this has become a new need for people. So if we don't fix the need, there is no point fixing the rejection. If you don't manage the needs, there is no point managing rejections. Would you agree on that?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So then are we ready to manage needs? Because I guarantee you one thing, if you manage the needs— let's look at it like this, I'll recap for you. On the top is the rejection, very easy to see surface level. Below that are the fears, most people hide that. Below that are the needs which are creating the fears, the emotions, and that is where the rejection matters.

Got it.

Fair?

Yeah.

Okay, so how do you manage needs now? First of all, identify and write down whatever I need in that situation. Why do I feel so rejected? If you don't even identify that need, तो फिर उसको manage कैसे करोगे? So let's take the job part. Is it possible that the person who's watching this video right now has a completely different need for job versus you and me?

Yeah,

yeah.

So that is why the identification is very unique to you. It is not as simple as oh, I'm not getting a job. That means my need is security. May not be. Maybe you're talking about a vice president getting a president's job now. What's the need? Maybe power, maybe position. So you have to first identify what do I need? Why am I feeling so hurt? Why am I feeling like a failure? So the question you have to ask yourself is मुझे hurt क्यों हो रहा है? मुझे बुरा क्यों लग रहा है? मेरे लिए जरूरी क्या है? Instead of focusing on मुझे job नहीं मिल रहा है, instead of focusing on मुझे इस लड़की ने मना कर दिया, instead of focusing on मेरा ये relationship नहीं हो रहा है. उसको बाजी में रखो। Why am I feeling this? What is so important about this goal? And then that answer will come out. What is important to me is I want this job because I from this job I want to feel. Now that answer only they can answer. Only you can answer for you. You can answer for you. Fill in the blanks is this is important to me because it makes me feel, and it will generally be a feeling only.

But see, I understood this, but not. Even after even after I know that this is the reason why I feel feeling bad, we need to fulfill नहीं हो रही है। That's the

whole point. तो अब अगर need fulfill नहीं हो रही है तो कहाँ काम करना है? Need की fulfillment पे कि rejection पे?

Need की fulfillment.

तो

या तो हम ये बात करते रहें कि ये need क्यों है? किसी की अलग क्यों मेरी अलग क्यों है? Validated है कि invalidated है? या तो अब नीड को फुलफिल करने और आगे बढ़ें। ओके, fair? हाँ, fair. Okay. So let's take a simple example. A girl says no to me. I'm married. Not about me. But a girl says no to me and I am feeling bad. I'm feeling rejected by the girl. In my theory, we are saying the problem is not this problem. Let's go deeper. So what is deeper? What is the feeling here? Hypothetically, what would the feeling be right now for you if a girl said no to you and you really love her? You proposed her and she said no to you. She rejected you. What are you feeling? Sad. Okay, sad for you?

Like lack.

Okay, so you see different feelings, right? Now ask this question, why am I feeling lack? Why am I feeling sad? What is important to me in this relationship which if I would have got I would have felt something else. If you wanted a job and you got the job, why would you want the job? So you tell me and go back to the actual moment when you got the job, when you really wanted it, and say, if I got the job, I would feel—

if I got the job, I would feel proud.

Okay, if I got the job, I would feel— and go to that moment when you actually felt that.

Validated.

Validated. Okay, so validated for you. And for you?

Proud.

Proud. So 2 different emotions. So you're using the job to get pride.

Yeah.

And you're using the job to get validation that I am someone worthy enough to add value to somebody else's life. So that means the day you get an opportunity in your job to stop feeling that, rejection will come back. So don't manage the rejection. First, get this need fulfilled within yourself so that the next time a rejection comes, it doesn't matter to you. Example, say it with, with me. I feel proud of myself.

I feel proud of myself.

Whether I get the job or not.

Whether I get the job or not.

Whether I have a job or not.

Whether I have a job or not.

I feel validated.

Validated.

Whether I get a job or not. Whether I have a job or not.

Whether I have a job or not.

Now, if you practice this for a few months before getting a job and you went for an interview, few months of practice was a lot, right? If you did that Wouldn't you feel already validated by the time you go to the interview? Wouldn't you feel pride by the time you go to the interview already? And now when you go for the interview, it's a possibility you might get rejected.

Won't matter.

That's the whole point.

But if in those months I'm not getting the job,

fair.

What if I'm feeling less, more like, oh, if

you are feeling less, that means that's what you're practicing. Okay. I know people who haven't got a job for a year, but they haven't felt low. Some people are angry with them. Why aren't you feeling low? Haven't you met people like that?

Yeah,

like अबे तेरे को कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता तेरे को job नहीं मिल रही घर क्यों बैठा तू?

Life में stress होगा ही होगा।

So coming back to you, did you identify your needs? If you did, tell us in the comment section what is that need and start saying that affirmation that you already have that need. The lie you are telling yourself is I need that to fulfill this. You do not. The truth is you can fulfill that emotion within you by saying, I already feel that. And the more you feel that, the more that vibration grows. Now you are no more going to be worried about failure because it will not trigger emotions like fear, guilt, regret after a person rejects you from a job or a girl or a person. It doesn't really matter. So identify your needs and manage your needs. And if you want to be part of our workshops where we can go into detailed discussions like these, come and be part of Platinum Membership. The link is in the description below this video. Subscribe to it and I will give you a free masterclass where we will understand in detail how you can manage these patterns and achieve 10 years of success in just 1 year. See you there.