This Keeps you Poor | Mitesh Khatri - Law of Attraction Coach

To make sure that some of you increase your money frequency, and this is especially today for the people who are already in the coaching business. This is why everyone write this down: business principles are the same for everyone. Doesn't matter what your challenges are. Let's ask your specific questions so that I'm able to help you on that. Your questions need to be very precise, very specific, so that I know exactly where you're blocked. Okay, so let's begin with Kratika.

I, uh, I feel that I have a problem in accepting money from my partner.

Okay, what do you mean by that?

I mean by that that when we started this business, if it's okay, please, if I cry. Yeah,

that's fine, go ahead. I'll cry with you, don't worry.

Yeah, so we started with this business, um, we'll do 90/10 actually, and then What do you mean by ninety ten? मतलब जो भी profit होगा उसका ninety and ten percent, ninety percent अपना ten percent में because I was just a beginner.

Right.

I thought I'm just a beginner अभी मतलब I'm getting ten percent that isn't okay. So when that time we were in offline coaching model, so उस time profit नहीं होता था तो फिर I did not accept money for like two years. Hmm. Yes. Then online coaching में जब हम लोग आए तो फिर we started making some profits, फिर then we saw कि ओके अभी business में investment चाहिए तो फिर हमलोग उसको करते रहे। and as and when जब मुझे money चाहिए होता था I used to take loan from Abhinav and then in the every month हम accounting team से क्या करते थे कि मंगाते थे what is the profit loss and everything और क्या हुआ and उसका फिर जितना भी ten percent cover कर देते थे आप take this as a salary। अब फिर business और बढ़ने लगा, और बढ़ने लगा, और बढ़ने लगा So what happens that कि इस the profit loss that sheet comes after some time like not in exactly one month अब two months three months हो जाता है उस time between मुझे अब money की requirement है तो फिर I ask अब money from Abhinav that's ऐसा loan and then I repay him.

Hmm.

Interesting. Yes.

Now okay so just to clarify those of you who don't know Kratika, Kratika and Abhinav are amazing coaches themselves and they teach people How to start their own cloud kitchen business from home? Isn't that? Is that an amazing thing to teach? They are in a relationship and they intend to get married, and this is the situation right now. Okay. So now that we know a little bit of context, let's understand why is this happening. It has nothing to do with you accepting money from your partner.

Okay.

It is more about some belief that you're holding on to. Yes. What is the one thing that we don't like asking from others?

That I don't like.

Not just you, not just you. All of us in the world, we don't like asking from others. What? I'm asking what we don't like asking from others, and it's not just money. There's one thing we never like asking from others. What is that?

किसी और का जो right right हो उस चीज़ पे। Good job.

Something that you are believing is not yours.

Yes.

Something that you believe कि वो उसका है. तो मैं कैसे मांगलू?

And there is nothing wrong in that, right?

There is nothing wrong in that. I'm just saying, when do we hesitate in asking? Not when we don't believe we don't deserve something. We are hesitating in asking when we believe that is not mine. It's not that I don't deserve it. जो मेरा है नहीं मैं कैसे मांगू? तभी हम hesitate करते हैं ना मांगने से। तो जब हम clear होते हैं कि मेरा नहीं है तो हमको मांगने में hesitation होती है। तो प्रॉब्लम यहाँ नहीं है कि आपको पार्टनर से पैसे एक्सेप्ट करने में प्रॉब्लम हो रही है। प्रॉब्लम क्या हो रही है? कि जो पैसे आप दोनों मिलके कमा रहे हो, आपका क्या बिलीव बन गया है?

कि इट्स हिज मनी एंड आई कैन नॉट स्पेंड एंड व्हाट इज़

माय राइट

दैट ओनली आई कैन

स्पेंड। हाँ, तो आपन तो obviously अब ये loan लेना देना ये सब वापस उसको चुकाना ये तो होगा ही क्योंकि आपके दिमाग में आप clear करके बैठे हो कि मेरा तो दसी है। अब मैं आपसे दो सवाल पूछता हूँ पहला सवाल मान लो कि पिछले दो साल आप अभिनव के साथ नहीं होते और दिल पे हाथ रख के सच्ची जवाब देना मुझे दो साल आप अभिनव के साथ अगर नही कर पाता

नहीं कर पाता शायद

टाइम

और ज़्यादा लगता

हाँ तो पहली बात तो नहीं कर पाता दूसरी बात एस अ पार्टनर आल्सो आप उसके साथ रहते हो आप उसको जानते हो वो कैसा है फिजिकली इमोशनली राइट हर तरीके से आप उसको जानते हैं नाउ यू लिव विथ हिम

यस

तो आप उसके साथ एस अ पार्टनर भी रह रहे ह But कितना हिस्सा उसका कम हो जाता? How much percentage of his life he would have not grown if you were not there in his life emotionally and physically? He willing to give that number a measurement. Imagine two years you were not there in his life. How much money do you think he would have made compared to what he's making today? In percentage, how much less he would have made?

I think twenty percent.

You think he would have made twenty percent less? Yes. So you're saying that without you, he would have continued to make 80% of what he's making today? Are you sure of that? Are you honestly sure of that? Be honest. Yes or no?

Yes. I don't think— no, I think it—

you don't think so? So you're hesitating to give the answer, but you know the answer?

Yeah.

What is the honest answer your heart is giving you? Do you think he would have been able to do 80% of the business that he did today Without your partnership, without what you contributed to this business.

Thirty percent I can do. Seventy percent is fair

enough. So let us say thirty percent you definitely feel you brought to the table, you brought to the business, correct? Okay. But have you renegotiated that profitability with him?

Yes, I renegotiated. Then that happened. So right now we are on twenty twenty five percent.

Okay.

Yeah, that has grown.

Now you are saying twenty or twenty five?

It has twenty five now.

Twenty five.

Okay. Yeah, I keep negotiating. So asking, I guess asking money is not a thing. But हाँ, जो आपने शायद पहले बोला कि जो मेरा ही नहीं है, तो फिर उसको मैं कैसे मांगूँ?

It's not about the twenty five. It's not about the twenty. It's not about the ten. It's not about the thirty. It's about realizing your value that this thirty is yours. You're not asking money from him. You're taking what is

mine.

तो उसमें मांगना क्या है? See, you're working on the wrong problem. You're asking me to help you being comfortable accepting money from your partner. But that's not the real problem. The problem is something else. The problem is you need to start believing this is yours. Then you don't have to be comfortable asking from someone what is yours. You are already comfortable asking what is yours. You just don't know that it belongs to you. Does that make sense?

Yes, but I—

so try this with me. I understand you don't know how to do that. I'll show you that right now. Let's do a quick belief transfer right now. Right now you don't believe 30% belongs to you. You don't believe that at a feeling level, correct? You believe 10% belongs to you, but not 30%. Okay, done. Hands on your heart. Repeat with me. I believe I'm a girl.

I believe I'm a girl.

Is that true?

Yes.

I believe I have specs.

I believe I have specs.

Is that true?

Yes.

Hey, I believe I have hair on my head.

I believe I have hair on my head.

Is that true?

Yes.

Now, every time I ask you this, is it true? When you say yes, feel it. Remember how it feels when you say yes for something that you really believe. You have forgotten what it feels like when you believe in something. So we're just recollecting that feeling right now. Okay, so all of you who want to work with me on a similar belief, you're welcome to work with us right now. So once again, I believe I'm a girl.

I believe I'm a girl.

Is that true?

Yes.

I believe I wear specs.

I believe I wear specs.

Is that true?

Yes.

I believe I have hair on my head.

I believe I have hair on my head.

Is that true?

Yes.

Okay, now continue saying yes. In between, I'll now ask you a different question. I believe 30% belongs to me. When I say, is it true? After you repeat it, say yes in the same way. Don't change anything. Just keep it mechanical. Okay? So here we go again. I believe I'm a girl.

I believe I'm a girl.

Is that true?

Yes, it's true.

I believe this 30% belongs to me.

I believe this 30% belongs to me. Is that true? Yes.

रात को क्या खाना खाया था कल?

Last night actually.

Okay, so open your eyes and just answer my question quickly. This thirty percent belongs to you. Is that true?

Yes, this thirty percent belongs to me.

Okay, good. Now that yes was much better than what you started with in the beginning. That is good. Check how you're feeling.

I'm still feeling little conflicted. Okay,

so let's test it. Let's test it. Close your eyes and imagine asking money from Abhinav, which is part of your thirty percent. And just see how it feels. Say it loudly. What would you say to him? You need this much money. How much money is that? Just say it loudly.

But he's ready to give me that much money.

I'm not asking about him. I'm just saying, say it loud.

Okay.

And let's test how you feel.

Okay. Okay.

Whether you want it for shopping or what do you want it for? Just say, I want.

Okay. I want 5 lakhs for the, for the vacation with the family.

Okay, and just check at an emotional level, not at a logical level, how you're feeling.

I'm anxious. Who are you?

But

अच्छा लग रहा है, लेकिन anxious भी हो रही हूँ।

Okay, so the anxiousness is because you're not used to this.

Okay.

And at a belief level, you don't believe that it belongs to you. So let's change that again. Okay. Once again, let's practice the same belief. I believe I'm a girl.

I believe I'm a girl.

Is that true? Yes. I believe this five lakh belongs to me.

I believe this five lakhs belongs to me.

Is it true? Yes. I believe I wear specs.

I believe I wear specs.

Is it true? Yes. I believe this five lakhs belong to me. Is it true?

Yes.

Okay, good. Now once again think about open your eyes and tell me what you had for breakfast in the morning.

I had oatmeal.

Okay. Now say it again. I believe 5 lakhs belongs to me.

I believe 5 lakhs belongs to me.

Is it true?

Yes.

Now imagine saying it again to Abhinav. I want 5 lakhs for the vacation with my family.

I want 5 lakhs for vacation with my family. Okay.

How's it feeling?

Better. It's better.

Where's the conflict? You're trying to find it, but it's not there. You're actually trying to find the conflict because you're so used to feeling the conflict within you that you can't believe that it's already gone. But it is, because that's how the NLP technique works. Your beliefs are just emotions, nothing else, and emotions are lies. We can change emotions like this if you have the right technique.

Partner, how to divide this money? Or should we divide money or not? Because I feel कि मतलब as a person I should also have the thing and he should also have the thing जहाँ भी he wants to

That's true. So now I would say, if you have really decided to be partners and if you've really decided to be married as a relationship, then I don't even think you need to divide that as 30% and 70%. Both belongs to you. Now what you need to do is treat it as our money, not my money or your money.

Okay.

Have that discussion with each other and start doing money management as our money. So when you spend 5 lakhs on your vacation, you don't spend it because it's your money, you spend it because it Fits in the budget. Now, who will decide the budget in the beginning of the month?

Just like no budget. Both of you. Yeah, both of us.

That means you've not started working on the PMDS PM system yet. So in the Wealth Mastery course, there's a lesson on PMDS PM system, which means you learn how to manage your money properly every month.

Okay.

Do that lesson with Abhinav. Learn to manage your money together rather than calling it my money or your money. So first discussion you need to have with Abhinav is, are we really in a relationship as good as we are married? Is this our money? Or we are not sure about marriage and we want to still keep that very clear difference of thirty and seventy. Have that discussion with him. That's

it. Like, लेकिन my hope for मेरे घरवालों के लिए भी इसे मेरी family जो है, तो उसके लिए भी ये our money हुआ।

हम्म। जब शादी होगी तब ऐसे ही होगा ना?

हाँ वैसे ही होगा लेकिन मतलब ऐसा ऐसा लेकिन मतलब इतने expenses मेरे side से नहीं है but अबिनव के side से expenses ज़्यादा है तो मतलब तो why I am dealing with this less of money

that's because you don't believe it belongs to

me

yeah okay so you need to have a clear discussion between you and अबिनव कि हम एक relationship में marriage की तरह है या नहीं है और अगर हैं, तो अब मेरा और आपका कुछ नहीं है, सब कुछ अपना है। हम्म। और अगर सब कुछ अपना है, if everything belongs to us as a family, then we do budgeting together as a family. And then we spend on your family, we spend on my family together. Because it's our family now. And I don't think he has a problem believing that. I think you have a problem believing that.

I have problem believing that. Exactly.

Exactly. I know him.

Same thing, but I was not ready to accept it. But after what you said, I'm okay.

Say it with me. Say it with me. We are virtually married.

We are virtually married.

Everything is ours.

Everything is

ours, including the family responsibilities on both sides.

Including family responsibilities. So it's completely fine that हम वो budgeting करके अगर अपनी family को भी share करना चाहते हैं some amount ऐसा you know like of course of course

between me and Indu there are times when we spend on her sister which is my sister-in-law. I'm not spending on Indu's sister. I'm spending on my sister-in-law. So you need to accept that both families have already become one. The only thing you've not done is you've not signed a paper called marriage certification. That's it. So say it with me again. We are virtually married together.

We are virtually married together.

It is now our family, not my family.

This is our family, not my family.

My family is Abhinav's family.

My family is Abhinav's family.

Abhinav's family is my family.

Abhinav's family is my family. Oh my God!

It is all combined family now.

It is all combined family now.

It is combined responsibilities now.

Combined responsibility now.

But that problem क्या है? There is a little girl in you which had not grown up to literally realize that you're married. The reason you're feeling these emotions because. Finally, you are accepting that you are already married to him. You just didn't realize it. You had not fully accepted it. That's the only difference. But actually, you are.

I did not know कि मनी शादी के बाद भी share होता है। And I did not know कि like you share the money. I said, I thought you have to divide the money. Okay, this is husband's money. This is wife's money.

You're one as a family. You're one as a family. You are one now. Is that clear?

Yes, it's perfect.

So watch the PMDS PM system, start the money management together. But more important than that, have this discussion with Abhinav that now we are married, we have one family, all our responsibilities are combined. There is no mine, there is no yours, there is no seventy thirty. जो है सब अपना है।

Okay.

Everything that is yours is mine and everything that is mine is right now yours. Is that clear?

Yes.

Perfect. And now just imagine for a minute right now that if Instead of dealing with me as her life coach, if Kratika was trying to solve this problem on her own, do you think it would have worked? Some of you make this mistake of trying to constantly trying to solve your problems on your own. Don't do that. Ask questions.

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