In this interview, Paridhi Dhingra discusses how many employees end up overloaded because they lack the skill to say no to additional tasks. She emphasizes that learning to be assertive with one’s boss prevents being taken for granted and balances workload. Dhingra then shifts to the concept of self‑worth, arguing it isn’t tied merely to current earnings but to one’s “hunger” – a deep, purposeful desire for higher income. She shares a personal story about being stuck at ₹50,000 per month, consulting a manifestation coach friend, and realizing she lacked hunger for a higher target. By writing down concrete plans for how she would save and spend an extra ₹50,000, her hunger and self‑worth increased, leading to higher earnings. The conversation hints at why people often spend without feeling happy, suggesting that without clear purpose (hunger) money alone doesn’t bring satisfaction.
There are so many people who, you know, they give more than what they receive in their jobs, but instead of getting more money, they keep getting more
work.
So how do we tackle that situation?
We keep getting more work because we don't know how to say no. In the same office, same boss giving more work to everybody, but some people are getting overburdened while some people are not getting overburdened in the same office with the same boss. Why? Because those people know how to say no. So the challenge here is not to tell my boss to give me less work. The challenge is for me to learn how to start saying no to my boss so that I'm being assertive about my life. And the moment I am assertive about my life, people don't take me for granted. But if I am not assertive, people are going to take me for granted. Those people are always going to be around us.
Got it. Now, there are so many people who are doing good work, who are getting the money, and they don't want more because they don't know their worth. So how does a human or a person who's working define their worth?
We don't define our worth just based on our work. We define our worth based on our hunger. So I'll give you an example. Many years ago, uh, I remember I was making ₹50,000 a month, and a friend of mine, his name is Rahul, who's a manifestation coach also and who's also a very good friend of mine— we are kind of manifestation partners with each other as friends— so I called him up and I said, yeah, Rahul, I'm not able to make ₹1 lakh a month. I'm stuck at ₹50,000. And he said, Do you believe you are worth fifty thousand? I said, of course. He said, do you believe you're worth one lakh? I said, of course. He said, but have you written down what you're going to do with that one lakh? Are you hungry for it? I said, what do you mean? He said, hunger is simple. If you are hungry, you have already planned that when you go to the restaurant, क्या खाओगे? Or at least you've planned कि restaurant जाना है, or at least you've planned कि खाना बनाना है. That's hunger, right? He said, "Do you have the hunger enough to decide कि वो जो extra पचास हज़ार आने वाला है उसका क्या करोगी?" And I realized I was actually not hungry those days. I was so satisfied with fifty. The number of making one lakh was just a number. Why? Because everybody was increasing their goals, so I was also increasing my goals. But there was no real hunger about why do I want that one lakh rupees. So I sat down and I wrote down that if I make that one lakh rupees. Instead of ₹50,000, how much am I going to save out of that? How much am I going to spend out of that? What will I spend on? The more I wrote that down, suddenly my hunger went up and my self-worth went up. That's the answer. So increase your hunger to increase your self-worth.
Lovely. Why do people spend and still not be happy?
People are spending and not being happy because they're spending for accumulating something, not for being happy. Let me answer that a little more in detail. A lot of my friends say, I will be happy when I buy a house. So that means house is something that they are trying to run behind. They are not trying to buy happiness. So if they get a house one day, is that really going to make them happy? Maybe, may not be. So house is an accumulation, it's not an experience, because you're going to do it one day. You're not going to do it every day. You're not going to buy a house every single day. You're not going to buy a helicopter every single day, but an experience is something that happens now and it remains with you for some time, and you can have more experiences of your life. So I would say spend money on wanting those experiences rather than only accumulating goals. Example, one day I'll buy a big house, one day I'll buy a big car, one day I'll travel the world. Now all of this is one day in the future. The problem with this is it is expensive. It is long-term and it is all about accumulation. So the day it happens, you might be happy for a few seconds, for a few minutes, for a few hours, maybe a couple of days, but then it's gone and you're back towards another accumulation goal. And now you're saying, I'm not going to be happy until I achieve that goal. So you're probably postponing your happiness for 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years every single time. Instead of that, focus on spending for happiness rather than spending for accumulating something. Now, what would I spend for happiness? Believe it or not, happiness is cheap. Luxury is expensive, but happiness is cheap. Example: Do I have enough money to go and eat a pani puri today? I do. Now, that's an experience, and that's cheap, and I can do it today. So I can immediately live my happiness today instead of postponing it one year from now. I can go to a spa. That's an experience. A lot of ladies love to go to the salon. Now that's also an experience. The more we spend small money on ourselves to experience small daily happiness, that's what I call as SDE, or called as small daily experiences. The more we spend money on small daily experiences, now we are buying happiness. But the more we are spending money on only big things in life, I like to call that as FAGs, FAG, or financial accumulation goal. I'm not saying that will not make you happy, But it will be short-lived because it's expensive, right? You can't buy a house every day. You can't buy a helicopter every day, just like I said earlier. But if you have many, many, many, many small daily experiences, how many times can you do that every day? A lot of times. So I said happiness is cheap. Live it every day. Spend on it every day.
