Chat LIVE With DSO!

Hello, hello, hello everyone! Welcome once again, it's your boy Raffalito. Where am I? Hold on a second. Hey, there I am! How was everyone today? Welcome! I'm doing a lot more of these lives in case you couldn't tell. Looks like I am officially good to go on Facebook here. I'm assuming I'm good to go on YouTube. Welcome everyone, welcome, welcome, welcome. Uh, let's give a little bit for people to join us here today. If you could be so kind as to give me a hello in the comments so I know that you're here. And hey, as usual, where are you, uh, where are you joining us from today? Would like to know. Last time we had guys from all over the US and a few international. We covered pretty much every corner of the US. And we even had some Aussies and some Canadians and a guy in the UK joining us. So where is everyone from today? Say hello and let us know. Welcome, welcome. Whoa, here we go. Mr. Jason from Michigan and another guy from Minnesota. So you guys from up north, welcome, ladies and germs. Yes, the ladies are welcome. I am here in— hold on a second, I got a Got a sound effect here. Hold on a second. I've been— I've been— I got this all set up. I'm all excited. This isn't the smoothest transition, I know, but I am in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. All right, it's enough. Don't want to insult my Kentucky brothers here, but, uh, I am— I mentioned last time I spent about half my time here in Kentucky and the other half in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, so the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. I got a home in Frisco and an office in Plano, so if anybody is from the DFW area, hey, holla! I think that's what the kids say these days. But today, this week, I am here in Kentucky. Anybody from Kentucky joining us today? I am in Bardstown, which is the Bourbon capital of the world, says Bardstown people. I don't think anybody's ever put that to the test. Do we have more bourbon here in Bardstown than anywhere else? Is more made here than anywhere else? I don't know if that's in fact true. We do have a lot of distilleries. I have right near me here Bardstown Bourbon Company, Luxor. What else is close here? Jim Beam, Maker's Mark, Woodford. They're all around this general area. So if you're a bourbon fan, we should get together sometime. Come here to make a field trip to Bardstown. Welcome everyone. Again, my name is Ralph Brewer Brewer. I go by the fake internet name of DSO, which stands for Dad Starting Over, which is not coincidentally the name of our little enterprise here, Dad Starting Over. You can learn more at dadstartingover.com or do a search for Dad Starting Over on all the social media channels. I am, got a pretty good-sized following on Facebook. I think it's like 141,000 followers now. And then we got to, oh, we got another guy from Michigan. What is going on with the Michigan and Minnesota? Well, welcome Tim. But Dads Turn Over, big on Facebook, big on TikTok, growing audience on YouTube. Many people have found me, many men specifically have found me via a book that I wrote years ago. And that book was called The Dead Bedroom Fix. The second edition of that book came out in 2020, sold a lot of copies. That gets a lot of people to me, to the Dad Starting Over world, and to our private group, which is known as the DSO fraternity. DSO fraternity. And again, DSO stands for Dad Starting Over. It's a private group for men only. Sorry, ladies, but we get together and we have live meetings. We have a private discussion forum. We record all of our meetings. You can listen to the meetings right from your phone's podcast app. Pretty cool stuff. We have a DSO Fraternity podcast. We have live gatherings, get-togethers. We have our 4th annual gathering in the States that we call BroFest. There's a little funny story behind that. I know, kind of a douchey name, but it has meaning to our members. And we are getting together in New Orleans, Louisiana next month. And that is on April 18th through the 20th. And that is open to DSO Fraternity members. But I mentioned this on the previous one of these if you join the DSO fraternity. And you want to join us, uh, for, um, or rather, let me back up. If you want to join us for BroFest but you're not a DSO fraternity member, I'll tell you what I'll do. You sign up for BroFest and you join us, and I will throw in 1 year of DSO fraternity membership at no additional charge. So you can try it out for a year for free, join us at BroFest. Win-win. So check it out. I am going to put a— pardon me with the mouse noises here. Isn't that annoying? Every time I listen back to these, my God, the clanging on the desk. I gotta figure out a quieter way of doing this. So I'm gonna put some links here in the chat or in the comments, wherever it is you're watching this. On YouTube, it goes up in the chat. On Facebook, it goes down to the comments. There is a link to try out our DSO Fraternity group for 1 month absolutely free. And but if you're convinced, like, no, I know I want to join, I don't need to do the whole free month thing, well, there is another alternative which we have going on now, probably the next month or so. If you caught on a chord here, if you put in code, uh, if you go to the DSO Fraternity and you punch in that code when you go to check out for the lifetime option only, the one month or the one lump sum lifetime fee. Put in that code FRAT2024 and you'll get 30% off. Pretty good deal. And then you don't have to worry about any kind of monthly payments or annual payments or anything. You're in for life. And that makes more financial sense, believe it or not, because the average member so far, we have our average members are 2+ years. The DSO Fraternity group's been active for 4 years now.. I can see the numbers. Average guy lasts over 2 years. If you're going to be like the average member, it makes financial sense to go and do the lifetime. Then you don't have to worry about anything. But if you want to try it out just for a month and see if you like it, I also give the link there, 1 month for free. Mr. David is joining us from Britain. Yay! Welcome, David. Dave, excuse me. Welcome, welcome everyone. My eyes are starting to get a little blurry. Oh, we got a dude from California. So not just you northerners, not just the Brit, but we got somebody from Cali joining us today. Let me get my glasses. Oh, much better. Now I can read, not squinting. What to talk about today, ladies and germs? Well, my screen is not refreshing over here. Let me do that. Pardon me. All right, does anybody have anything that you would like to talk about today? How these usually work is that I get on here and somebody asks a question, and then we just go on and on. When I say we, I mean me, just go on and on about the question, and then other people chime in, and we all talk and back and forth. I think the longest one of these lives has gone for 2 hours. I don't plan on going 2 hours today. Do I even have 2 hours? No, because I gotta pick up my boy from school. But, uh, you know, hour is not unusual for these. And, uh, so please, it depends on you guys. What do you want to talk about? Got any questions? Got any comments on any videos I may have done here recently that you have seen? Any content at all that you have seen of mine, or anybody else's for that matter, that you want to discuss? In general, the, um, topics usually revolve around the subject matter of being a dude relationships. Um, my perspective is one as a married, in second marriage, heterosexual male talking about the world of relationships. If that appeals to you, you're probably in the right place. Um, we've had lots of these lives. I have hundreds and hundreds of videos that are available out there. Check out YouTube. That's probably the easiest and best way to find all my videos. You can see little shorts, of which I have hundreds, and you can see the longer videos, hundreds more there. And if you could give me a follow or subscribe rather on YouTube, I would greatly appreciate it. That helps out a lot. Here we go. Mr. Adnor. All right, buddy. Starting things off. Thank you so very much. Breaking the ice. He wants to know, what are my thoughts on scheduling sex? It has been a popular topic lately in the group. It has been in the group. Again, what Adnor is referring to is the DSL Fraternity Group. We have private discussions, very, very active, as Mr. Adnor can attest to. Thoughts on scheduling sex? Well, let's be— I often use the term pragmatic, meaning rational. Let's look at this rationally. Let's look at this as a math problem as opposed to being romantic and lustful, whatever. If you're with somebody and you're with somebody for years, sometimes decades, and you got kids and you both work and you got all the stress that goes with it, sometimes for some people it behooves them to say, we have to carve out time for each other in our schedule. That may mean date night, that may mean sexy time in bed, that may mean, you know, whatever, together on the couch, you know, watching Netflix, whatever it may be. But people are cognizant enough to say, we can't just sit back and wait for the feel-good chemicals to rush over us and spontaneously cause us both to come together in harmony in lust or whatever it may be, just naturally on its own, so to speak. Because if we sat back and waited for that to happen, where his lustful, over-the-top romantic feelings coincides with her lustful, romantic, over-the-top feelings, to— it's just not going to happen. So we have to quote-unquote force it to happen. And one of those methods in which to do that is to schedule things. Every Wednesday is our date night. Every Thursday is in bed together night. Every Thursday, Sunday is make sure we carve out time to be with each other in bed. And depending on the woman's cycle or whatever it may be, that may not necessarily mean doing the old hokey pokey, the old in and out, but it may just mean being intimate with each other, laying with each other, spooning with each other, doing other things to please each other. Not trying to be too graphic there. But I don't see a problem with it. Again, it is not the most romantic, sexy, lust-filled thing in the world to say Friday's our sex day. But for some people, that's the most realistic, pragmatic way of looking at it. I often say that in a long-term monogamous relationship or marriage, a big part of keeping it sexy is the overall theme of you got to kind of fool the system is what I say. A lot of people don't take that too well, but what I mean is, um, there is a very natural inclination at work when you've been with somebody for years and years, especially if you have children. There's a very natural inclination to go your separate ways, to drift apart. The work's done. You procreated, you made babies. The honeymoon stage is well over with. Now when you look across the table at the other person, you're just like, oh God, this person again. You know, you're at that stage. That happens naturally to most of us. You have to work to fight that very natural inclination, and you have to work to make time for each other. Because if you just sit back and let the natural waves wash over you, it's not going to wash over you and push you in the, in the right direction. It's going to push you actually in the opposite direction. So you have to fight it. And one of those ways is to forcibly say every Wednesday, Friday, whatever it may be, we are going to get together for date night. Bedroom, whatever it may be. If that's what it takes to keep you guys together and happy, hallelujah. Tim says, my wife will say, time for my wifely duties, and it doesn't make things so great. So in other words, she's treating it like a chore. You know, if I was with that woman, I'd probably pull her aside and go, sweetie, quit with the wifely duty stuff. It's not nice. It doesn't make him feel any better. It doesn't— you gotta sexify the situation a little bit here, you know? Put some effort into setting aside your annoyance or whatever. And I don't know, you don't want them to go through the motions to pretend, but at the same time, it's not a very nice thing to say. You know, if the wife's just like, I just got this idea for a date night for us, or date on Sunday, we leave the kid with a babysitter and you and I go to brunch, and then we can go to a, uh, go to the mall and walk around a little bit, and then maybe after that we go catch a movie. And if during all that process you're like, oh God, I guess I gotta do my husbandly duties, sure, I'll go brunch, whatever, oh, mall, yeah, where do I sign up for that? Wonderful. You know, the attitude you bring to it, with that attitude, which is not unusual for dudes by the way, um Yeah, she's just, she's gonna be brokenhearted. It's like, I just wanted us to have a good weekend together. Wanted us to have fun. Same thing with the physical intimacy thing. Now, at the same time, if she's really like, I, this is the last thing in the world I want to do. I can't imagine, you know, anything more repulsive than being sexy with my husband. Well, then maybe we need to look at plan B. And then Jason says that he tried that, that being scheduling intimacy with his ex-wife, and she shot it down and said, if it doesn't come naturally, it just doesn't work. And I found out later that there was other reasons behind that. Ooh, not sure what you want to share with that, but sorry to hear that. But ex-wife, all right, so she's out of the picture. So it is what it is. Yeah, sometimes this, um, there is a, uh, a general theme amongst a lot of people, and strangely a lot of men, which is if it doesn't come 100% naturally, then we're done, it's over. One thing is if your wife's not jumping your bones 24/7 and she's not a hot and heavy horn dog ready to go 7 days a week, then that is, you know, Exhibit A for it's not going to work out, dude. There's some middle ground there somewhere. That's not exactly fair. That's not exactly realistic. And like I say, you got to fight the system. If you don't, you're just, you're just naturally going to drift apart. And Tim says there's always another reason. Maybe affairs with one of my really good friends. Ooh, ouch. Sorry to hear that, Jason. You know, if they say, you know, if it doesn't come naturally, then there's no need. It could very well be the other reason is, and the idea of doing that's repulsive to me. It just could be, I've been told all along that if you have to work at it, then it's not worth it. And culturally, it could be in their little, their little world, their culture, their family, whatever it may be. It's not good. And Jason, sorry to hear about the affair with the good friends. But again, ex-wife, it is what it is. I'm sure there was some good in that chapter of your life in addition to a lot of bad. But Just remember it, smile, and move on. That's what I always tell dudes. Uh, but thank you for that. Sorry, I got stuff going on here on my other monitor here. Any other questions or scenarios or anything to bring up? Anything you've seen here recently? Thank you, Adnor, for bringing that up with the scheduling, the old hokey pokey. Pretty common thing. And you know, and if, um, Two people are on the same page and, uh, they both recognize, let's— this is something that's good and healthy for us. Uh, they can also make that scheduling thing a fun thing, a kinky thing, an experimental thing. Who knows? It doesn't— the fact that it's like we know what's going to happen Friday doesn't necessarily mean— and that throws out any kind of spontaneity, or that throws out any kind of unpredictability, fun, novelty. No, you can be novel, spontaneous, and all that good stuff along with the scheduling. So, you know, think about it as a date night. You got a date night Wednesday, you don't— wife says, where are we going? I don't know, you'll see. Keep it fun, keep it spontaneous. Not something— spontaneity, fun, unpredictability is, uh, pretty rare in a long-term relationship, isn't it? I thank you guys for the likes. If, uh, for you watching this, if you could give me a like or a share wherever it is that you are watching this, I would greatly appreciate it. That helps with the old, uh, algorithm, as they say. It allows other people to find us spontaneously. And if you are new to this Dad Starting Over world, give me a like, subscribe, all that good stuff wherever you're watching this. Thank you all so much, appreciate you. Any other questions or comments, anything at all? A little light on the, uh, commentary today, folks. Don't be shy, I'm here for you. Thank you for the like. Uh, make sure I'm not missing anything over here. Looking good. Anything at all, folks? Let me think if there's anything that's happened recently in my world, anything, uh, video-wise, anything people have brought up. I did a TikTok Live just before coming on here that was pretty successful. I think we had like a good 3,000 people on there, which is pretty high for me on TikTok on Live. Um, I have some 120-some-odd thousand people that follow me on there, but the Lives have never been huge. But today's pretty good. And, um, we had a gal on there saying that she seems to attract nothing but needy guys to her. And when you dig into why, she said, well, she considers herself to be kind of a super friendly, empathetic— oh, friendly ear, somebody to lean on, somebody— she's the person that everyone goes to with their problems. And so therefore she's going to attract some problematic, needy individuals in those men. And she's like, uh, this is Big turnoff. Don't like that. How many of us guys can relate to that in terms of attracting the, uh, Miss Drama? Miss Has All Kinds of Issues Going On. And you're the helpful ear. You're the person to lean on. You're the good dude that she can talk to about all her issues. And you're just like, why do all these women have all these issues? What's going on? Eh, it's you, buddy. And it was Carla, whatever her name was today. It's you too. Karla, you're the one. You're the common denominator in all this. You're attracting and hanging on to these kind of people. Not good. Faisal says, "I'm looking very dapper, Mr. DSO." Well, thank you, Faisal. Faisal Kokar. Kokar? Kokar? I always forget where the pronunciation is on which syllable it's on. But thank you, Mr. Faisal. For those that don't know. Is it masculine.co? Is that right, Faisal? Is that your website? Check them out, Mr. Faisal. Um, anything new you would like to share, now's the time, Mr. Faisal, on your, uh, your endeavors. Are you still working with Mr., uh, Dr. Robert Glover in his world and your own thing there? You know, feel free to share in the comments. Uh, we got Mr. Van Johnson with a question or scenario here. He says, my situation is a mix of possible perimenopause and boredom. Sadly, I think it's a case of she doesn't want me but doesn't want to lose me. Pretty common, dude. It's so frustrating. I've started my shot clock, so the clock is ticking down and towards the end of this relationship. Um, you know, like I say, when that passion's gone, it takes effort to pull you back together. And if she's just like perimenopause, all those stuff, it's erased whatever, you know, glimmer of or hint of effort I may have, then you guys just disintegrate and you're flying apart here, as you can see. And you're kind of taking the hint finally of like, yeah, I don't think she wants me necessarily. She just likes the comfort, stability, and all the other stuff that goes along with a relationship. Pretty common. I say probably more so common with the ladies than it is for the men. Men, you know, We like our comfort and our stability and everything else too, but women seem to be able to, I guess, maybe compartmentalize, you know, ask any therapist, counselor, whatever, and they will say when talking to a lady, I've completely lost feelings for this man that I'm with. Romantic gone, respect gone, everything else gone. Well, then what are you doing with the guy? Kids, house. I've done the math. If I'm out of my butt, life gets very, very difficult. You know, I've put my career aside for this family and blah, blah, blah, whatever it may be. Um, so no, I'm just going to stick it out. And it's very heartbreaking for men to find out that they're the dude in that situation and that his wife, you know, is just dealing with it and just sticking it out. Oh well, and the passion's gone. It's like, who wants to hear that, right? But not unheard of, dare I say, relatively common. Let me go my glasses here because suddenly my eyes go in and out with whether or not I'm able to see things. There we go. All right. Leah says, I am drawn to men that I feel sorry for because they're not getting any. That's not good. Yeah, you're not— there's a reason why they're not getting any, Leah, which you're probably discovering once you start talking to them. You're getting drawn to them. Go, oh, feel sorry for this poor guy. He doesn't have any female attention. And then you get to know them, you go, oh, I see why now. Why am I with these people? Because you don't have what we call good boundaries. You're just like, yeah, you're sad and you're pitiful and bring it in, dude. Bring it in, I'm here for you. And you're like, oh shit, what have I done? Men deal with this a lot because we want to save women, the damsel in distress, you know? I'm here for you, shoulder to cry on. Wow, why is it that I keep attracting all these quote broken women to me? It's so— it's not a gendered thing for sure. And, uh, Faisal says yes, he's still working with Dr. Robert Glover, uh, and, uh, working on the 5 Masculine Fractures. This is, uh, uh, latest endeavor. Mr. Faisal, thank you so much. So check that out, guys. Do a search there for Faisal Is it masculine.co, I believe, is the website? And look up his stuff on 5 masculine fractures. And Faisal is a handsome devil. I am comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to say Faisal's a good-looking dude, and from the UK. So he's got the accent to go along with it. It's not fair. But check out his stuff online if you haven't done so already. And then Mr. Adnor, uh, says that she's a quote simp trap, unfortunately. Is that referencing, uh, Miss Leah? Oh, and the other gal I was talking about. Sorry, I'm going scrolling back through here through the comments trying to make sense of everything. Uh, simp trap. Wait, hey, here's a good food for thought, guys in the comments. What's a simp? S-I-M-P. Let's define it, shall we? Because that word's thrown around a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. I hear it in my comments all the time. The dude's just a simp. Don't be a simp. I've been called a simp to the point where it's just losing its meaning. Like, what the hell does that mean anymore? A wuss? A dork? A guy with, you know, pushover? Mr. Nice Guy? What is a simp? Maybe if you guys want to share what your definition of a simp Mr. Jason, what are your thoughts on TRT? And that stands for testosterone replacement therapy. I coach wrestling and MMA, so I always assume my testosterone would be high, but my last test came back extremely low. After getting back into dating after 20 years, I'm thinking it's worth the money, but I'm still trying to research. Um, yeah, keep researching, buddy. What's— what is extremely low? I'm pretty well versed in that world. I'm no expert by any means, but I know enough to be dangerous. It's not for everyone. Um, there are good and bad, a lot of good, a few bad potentially. Everybody is different. I give this guy over here 500 milligrams of testosterone, I give the guy next to him 500 milligrams of testosterone, I say report back in 6 months, you're going to hear wildly, potentially wildly different things. Guy A could say, I've put on 20 pounds of muscle. That's probably an exaggeration, but a lot of muscle. I'm leaner, I'm less anxious, I'm less anxious overall, just a more masculine dude. Women tell me I'm more attractive, I'm standing taller, I'm more confident, blah blah. Then you go to Guy B and he's like, um, actually, as a result of taking all this testosterone, my estrogen actually went through the roof and I gained a lot of water weight. And I'm way more anxious than I ever was. This is just one avenue this could go down. Or my prostate swelled up, not cancer, but just what they call benign prostate hyperplasia. Just means it blows up like a balloon, and I couldn't pee, and I had to go to the doctor and take a medicine. Yeah, so whether or not you talk to Guy A or B, you're going to get wildly different reports on, um, you know, so what do you think about TRT? It, you know, maybe you want to give it a shot. I will tell you this though, your general practitioner, your family medicine doctor, the guy who treats the cold, the flu, the arthritis, the this and that, you know, across all the both genders, across all age groups, that guy is probably not going to know a lot about hormonal replacement therapy. That's for men or women. I've had guys come back to me that said, my doctor said And then what they told me was so out in left field wrong, it wasn't even funny. And all it took was, you know, 30 minutes of Googling and some research to see, wow, this doctor was actually being relatively dangerous with their recommendations. What is this person thinking? They're not— they're just probably repeating something they read once, and just because they're a doctor— um, before, you know, we go down that road My wife is a medical doctor, so I've been introduced to the world of medical doctors more so than I ever have before. I've been in conferences with them, I've had dinner with them, and so forth. And I can tell you this: they're not infallible. There's, uh, you know, pre-wife number 2, I probably was like most, like, oh, he's a doctor, you know, I'm gonna sit up straight and listen when he says something health-related. Now, older, wiser, more cynical, after getting to know lots of different doctors at various levels and different specialties and so forth, I'm just like, he's a doctor, what kind? What does he treat? Well, I will listen to him when it comes to that, potentially. It's not even— with that, he's not going to be completely 100% correct. But when it comes to this over here, I'm just going to let it go in one ear out the other. He probably has no freaking idea what he's talking about. And sure enough, when I hear some doctors talking about fill in the blank, whatever subject matter it is, if I have some knowledge in that world, sure shit, I'm like, God, this guy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. So when it comes to the TRT and so forth, and for men and women both, women when it comes to hormonal replacement therapy and stuff, you probably don't want to go to your general practitioner and say, what do you think? Right away a lot of them are like, nah, you'll get cancer, heart disease, you'll die. No, no, go to a specialist. There are hormonal replacement clinics all over the place. Some are a little shady, to be honest with you, very liberal with their dosaging because they want you to feel really, really good and keep coming back. Well, others, uh, there's endocrinologists, um, you know, look at the reviews, go on YouTube, Google, see what people have to say, see what their own staff has to say, see what other people have to say about them, and, uh, do your research. Be proactive. About your health. The fact that you're asking about this, uh, Jason, is a good thing. You're being proactive. You're like, I'm looking into this thing. Uh, you got a test, so you're well on your way. But keep researching, keep learning, and you may find you're going to sit down with a doctor and you'll be teaching them a thing or two about it. But it may very well be a godsend for you. It may be the thing that makes you say, oh, here we go now. There's a light switch moment. It's not immediate. It takes months sometimes for it to feel, for it to kick in, so to speak, for your equilibrium. Take some adjustment, a little bit less of this, a little bit more of this. Now voilà, we have what it takes to make me feel good again. And that may change, you know, 3 or 5 years later, some adjustments. It's not a take a pill and forget about it type of thing for sure. Better get used to the idea of injecting yourself shots. A lot of people say, oh no, there are alternatives to shots— creams, implants, and so forth. Not a huge fan. Um, you can transfer creams to others pretty easily. Creams can, uh, lose their effectiveness with something simple like sweating. You know, you put it on, you're a little sweaty after taking a shower because the hot steamy shower, and you may not absorb all the medicine you're supposed to absorb. Versus a shot, just goes right to the muscle or subcutaneously, whatever it is you take it boom, it's in your bloodstream, right? No doubt about it. Um, so be comfortable with shots. Also recognize you're in the world of wrestling and MMA. Um, both are rampant with performance-enhancing drugs. I'm sure you're well aware there are a lot of guys taking a lot of different stuff. So you're kind of opening up Pandora's box, if you will. You're taking an ancillary outside substance to feel better, to recover better, to get a little stronger and leaner. The next thing you know, you're like, I could also take this other little thing. I can also take this out. Next thing you know, you got a medicine cabinet full of shit just to feel better. And that's not necessarily the healthiest thing in the world, especially if you're just doing all this like black market buying some shit from some dude in an alley somewhere or something. I say this because that's relatively not common. Okay, it's common in the MMA world and grappling and all those stuff. I know some guys in that world, and there's a whole lot of juicing going on. Almost as much as you would like to a bodybuilding gym or something like that. For those that don't know, steroids are rampant in the American gym culture. It's all over the place. All right, pardon me, my coughing here. Uh, Shanu Shash. Hello, Shanu. Cool name. Is it cool or good to push yourself to be the best of yourself for your partner even though they may not be the same league or capability of yours. Hmm. Well, that's a mouthful, Mr. Shanu. So should I continue striving to be really, really good? Let's take the most obvious example. Physical health, physical fitness. Let's say you're a guy that you're pushing yourself in the gym. I'm going to get better. And you're like, I'm starting to look good. I'm getting some attention. And you start looking like a Greek god, as a term I often use. You got some muscle. You're lean, ladies are looking at you, guys are complimenting you, but you feel kind of bad because— completely made-up scenario but not unheard of— your, um, your partner, your female partner, let's say, um, is incapable, no matter how hard she tries. Let's say there's some kind of physical ailment or disease or something that prohibits her from joining you in the gym. She'll never reach that level of physical fitness that you have. Let's say she has something like MS. Multiple sclerosis, or she has, uh, I don't know, polycystic ovarian syndrome. But poly— PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. Is that how— yeah. Anyway, that's a pretty debilitating thing that has an effect on the, on the hormones, and they gain a lot of weight and all kinds of bad stuff, and she'll never reach your level of physical fitness. So do you stop with your physical fitness? Routine, mission— that's the word I'm looking for— because you don't want to make her feel bad? I say no. I don't know, what do you guys think? Um, you are you. Would you tell her, like, let's say she was pursuing a career that may make her half a million dollars a year, but you were— you are in a position where you're happy but relatively stuck at $50,000 a year job. Are you going to tell her, don't go for the half million dollar a year job because it makes me feel bad about my little $50,000 a year job, so just stay in the career you're wife, you know, no need to go for that promotion or that certification or whatever it is. No, you'd say, go for it, proud of you, you should be proud of yourself, high five sister, you know, go for the degree and the job and everything else, don't let me hold you back. Uh, that's kind of a Pollyannish, super positive way of looking at it, but a lot of people aren't wired that way. What we see is a lot of the time those people the old crabs in a bucket. I got a video coming out about that, I think, scheduled here soon. Um, the people below you tend to kind of pull you down as they see you kind of escaping from the doldrums of their mediocrity. You're going up the bucket and they're like, yeah, not so fast, mister, and they pull you down with them. If you see your partner doing that, you gotta let them know, that's no bueno, don't do that shit. Um, I'm trying to improve myself. Either you're my cheerleader or you shut the F up and sit off to the side, but you don't try and pull me down. That ain't gonna happen. Maybe that's narcissistic of me, maybe that's mean of me or whatever, but sorry, you only got one life, one body. And like I say, that applies not just to the physical fitness world but to money and everything else. Shanu says simp refers to the fact that they are unable to move on and make effort while their partner or ex is getting cucked. That's the definition for me. Um, okay, I think you got some things backwards. While their partner or ex is getting cucked— when— I don't know why I'm going down this road— world— cuckold. When you are cucked, I think you're the victim. Am I right or wrong, guys? I don't know. Why are we even talking about this? So, um, if you knowingly are sticking around while your wife is banging half the town, you are getting cucked. Is that not right, or is it the opposite? Whatever. Wordsmith, our pal Wordsmith. I haven't seen you in a while from YouTube. Any thoughts or experience about performance anxiety in the bedroom? It doesn't seem to be talked much here. No, you're right. I don't— I'm no expert in that world, but I think it's a very common issue. It's relatively common. I would assume you mean like erectile dysfunction. That is brought about by anxiety. Um, that's pretty common. It's not really mentioned a whole hell of a lot, um, not by me but by followers and so forth. I think probably there's an embarrassment in there. I have personally not experienced that. I'm not just bullshitting. I don't have any personal experience in that world, uh, knock on wood, but just no pun intended. But there's, uh, nothing wrong about talking about it. It's just part of human nature. Sometimes body parts don't act like they're supposed to. Even when all the plumbing is as it should be. And so with erections— here we go down the world of penis talk, um, but that's fine— uh, it's a blood flow thing, right? Hence why we have the vasodilators like Cialis, Viagra, whatever else is out there now. They open up the blood vessels and allow blood to flow, and as a byproduct of these These products weren't invented for erectile dysfunction. I think that's kind of interesting. I think actually one was a prostate drug and, uh, to help increase blood flow. And then they're like, oh wow, look at that, the guys are having these massive erections. That's a cool side effect. And now they market them as an erection drug. Well, then some guys take those and they're like, I still got a problem in the bedroom, let me go to the doctor. Doctor's like, you're fine, your blood pressure's cool, there's no blockages, no nothing. Dude, it's probably all up in your head. It's probably just anxiety. Like, well, goddamn. Yeah, it's anxiety. And not unusual. Anxiety affects people a lot of different ways, stress and everything else. So you need to get to the bottom of the anxiety, what's going on and how to resolve that. And why is that creeping in the bedroom? Are there other things going on? You know, so it starts with make sure your physical fitness and health is in order. Everything's cool there. Well, then start working on the anxiety. And with Wordsmith, my man, I assume you're talking, um, this is your own personal experience, you're dealing with some ED or anxiety, performance anxiety and so forth in the bedroom. Thanks for bringing it up, appreciate it. Um, knowing your story, and you've been a frequent commenter and you've given little tidbits about your personal life here, and thank you for sharing, but Dude, you got a lot to be anxious about. I don't mean to, uh, you know, throw fire on the old, uh, or throw gasoline on the old anxiety bonfire here, but, uh, you got a lot to be stressed about, dude. You got the, the dead bedroom situation for years. You have this, the, the foster children or the adopted children, they're all special needs. Um, if I remember right, you're unemployed and you're at home while wife is working. You just got a lot to be anxious about, dude. And then you're like, what the hell? I have— now I have anxiety-driven ED. Well, not a surprise. Maybe you have a lot to work on before go jumping into bed with other people. And if I remember right, you jumped into bed with somebody else outside of your marriage. And if I remember right, you're like, this is a little ho-hum, not as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Maybe put the women aside for a bit and work on some of your other stuff. Easier said than done, right? Uh, Van, his definition— so far we've got two completely different definitions of simp. He says it is— simp is a person that knowingly gives un— uh, how do you pronounce this? Recipro— reciprocated? Reciprocated? Unreciprocated. Wow, just had a major brain fart there. Who gives unreciprocated affection to a person who knows they have romantic intentions. So a simp knowingly gives affection to a person who knows— so I'm trying to figure this one out, Van. Um, in other words, you're being super nice and clingy and loving and whatever and giving your time and attention to a person that you have romantic intentions for, but they don't in turn for you. So what's it— do— what are we call that outside of the internet vernacular simp? What's another term for that? I think they're kind of a codependent person, um, people pleaser. That's not right. I don't know, but I get where you're going with that. So this guy's like, I'm, I'm hanging on to this woman just in case eventually she has some kind of romantic interest in me. She knows I have romantic interest in her, but it's not reciprocated. But I'll hang around still just in case. Yeah, it's not healthy. It's not good. Uh, Daniel's saying, aren't you this guy? Um, to which I can't click on that link, buddy. I, I'll check it out later, but, uh, I'm kind of afraid to click on that. I'm not sure what we're going to see. Um, and then Wordsmith, going back to the whole TRT thing, says he wasted a year of treatment with a urologist, horrible results. He got to a clinic and doing much better. So that urologist didn't know what they were doing. And prescribed you something that made you not feel so good. Heard that one before. I've heard the urologist thing a few times. I've heard even an endocrinologist, which is— their profession is that of hormones, hormonal, you know, getting people hormonally healthy. I've heard some things coming from endocrinologists that make me say, what, really? Hey, they got the degrees, I don't, so maybe they know better than I do. But sure enough, a lot of these guys have the same results that you had. Jason says, yeah, very common in MMA. Thank you, thank you, he says. You're welcome, welcome. Uh, Mahitha says nothing. Well, all right, Mahitha, thank you for sharing that. Appreciate it. Uh, and Jason says, yeah, the common term for what we talked about is friend-zoned. Jason, thank you for that. Is that— you know, I've seen this, um, show up in my comments a few bazillion times, uh, where a man says you don't want to end up in the friend zone, to which some women say the friend zone thing is a fallacy, there's no such thing. I'm not sure what, what women take issue with when they hear that term. That doesn't sound like a sexist thing in any way, shape, or form. I think men friend zone some women, and some women Uh, friend zone men for sure. What's, what's that about? What are they saying when we say that? That means I like you, I like spending time with you, talking with you and so forth, but as far as crossing the bridge into romantic, or dare I say sexual territory, that's not you and me. It's not you. It's never going to be you. You're a friend. Cool. But a lot of men that are really needy, simpish, dare I say, go back to that vernacular. I either— they're in denial and be like, she may think I'm a friend, but there's still a chance here. She just doesn't know it yet. Or he's like, she thinks of that way now, but maybe if I keep being really, really nice to her and, and keep pushing the issue, maybe eventually she'll wake up and realize that I am Mr. Perfect Romantic Partner for her after all. Dude, it never works. Um, the timeline of a typical romantic relationship is like, oh, who's that over there? She's cute, or he's cute. Let me get to know them. Oh, I like him in that way too. Well, maybe I want to spend time with him. Oh look, we're exchanging numbers. Cool. Hey, we're meeting up Friday. Awesome. Oh, I really like this person. And on and on we go. It's not, uh, I may make you a good buddy, you know, but something about him or her just makes me say, usually it's the physical, like, oh, the physicality is just not there. But yeah, we both like some certain TV show. That's cool. We're both fans of fill in the blank with some kind of hobby here or whatever. That's cool. He's an intellectual. I like him in that way. But in other ways, new. Nothing wrong with that. I would presume that that's the majority of people you run into. I would presume the majority of people you run into, men and women, are going to be friend-zoned by you. You put them in that category. The other category is for a select special few people. At least I would hope so. Um, Okay, very good. Saying the same thing again here about reciprocated. Um, yeah, very good. Anything else, ladies and germs? Thank you for that. Alrighty, pardon me while I jump around here. Different messages coming in. Uh, anything else, ladies and germs? It's been a good 45 minutes now. Not bad. Thank you all for your comments. Greatly appreciate it. So we went everywhere from TRT to friend zone to simps to you name it. We then we touched on ED there for a little bit. All right, nothing is off limits, my friends. Um, Oh, there's Mr. Gustavo, Mr. Gus. He is not only a DSO Fraternity member, but a coach within the DSO Fraternity world. And Gustavo speaks español. Habla español. Bienvenidos, Mr. Gustavo. He is asking a question here. I'm just curious about what you think if your husband/wife has medical issues causing zero sex life. Well, What do I think? That's unfortunate, that's sad, but I guess it's really one of those come-to-Jesus— not to be insulting here to my religious friends out there— a come-to-Jesus moment, which means what? Like a real sit-down, heart-to-heart, let's talk this through. You have to decide within yourself how important is this sexual intimacy thing. If it's something that really bothers me to the point of being depressed and deprived, and I feel like I'm gonna die, and I'm not getting a very visceral normal human need met, and oh my gosh, I don't know what to do with myself, then you're gonna have to come to some kind of compromise here, aren't you? I love you, partner. I recognize you have some kind of medical issue which prevents us from being intimate that way, you know. But here's the thing, as I'm saying this out loud, talking it out, um, There are alternative things to do other than the old in-and-out sexual intercourse. There are other ways of being sexually intimate with each other. Does that fit the bill for you? Does that fill that need? If not, well, I'm not going to shame you for it and say, well, it should fill the need, mister. That should be enough for you. Maybe it's not. And if it's not, there are alternatives to the old strict monogamous sexual relationship, especially when sexual's off the table. And those things include the most common form of alternative lifestyle that I've seen within this kind of scenario is wife looks the other way, husband does things, we don't talk about it, we both know, we both know, but we don't mention it. Husband was away a little extra long the other Friday night, 'Did you have fun?' 'Yes.' 'We don't talk about it. I know he was with secret girlfriend.' 'I know about secret girlfriend. She's not so secret, but it is what it is.' I don't think a lot of people appreciate just how common that is, especially with our older folks. Um, you know, our grandmas and great-grandparents who just had the most blissfully domestic awesome life together for 60+ years. You don't realize how common that was. Uh, grandma becomes menopausal, takes it off the table. If you want something, go get it. Grandpa's like, "All right, sure." And, you know, Grandpa's gone a few extra hours here and there, and they don't ever talk about it. Not unheard of in that world. So maybe that's one solution. As long as it's above board and everybody's cool with it, cool, whatever. Other solution, we would call that a, what, a fully open marriage, one-sided open marriage, but the other side's cool with it. A lot of different flavors of that. But it is what it is. And one thing I've learned over the years is We can't prescribe one little solution to everybody and just say, this is the way you got to do it, this is God's plan, if you're a religious person or whatever it is. What I found is that human nature being what it is, we find a way. Wasn't that a phrase in Jurassic Park? Nature finds a way. And Matt Matija, that's a cool name, says, "Thank you for your work." Well, thank you, appreciate it. All right, Julian asks, "Ralph," that's me, by the way, "what are your thoughts on the savior complex? I jumped into a relationship with a single mom of 5." Holy shit, dude. She turned out, sorry, I should say there's nothing wrong with that, but right away that exhausts me just here saying that out loud. "She turned out to be extremely avoidant." and I left her about a month ago for said reason. I've never been an anxious guy, but I started to become extremely anxious. I tend to be attracted to the damsel in distress. Where does this come from? Excellent question, my man. Um, well, I don't know about your particular case, but I think for the majority of us, if we find ourselves being so attracted by all these people that need us that we have to save them, that they have all kinds of stuff wrong with them and I need to swoop in to solve all their problems, and I'm not attracted to them unless they have said problems, unless they're a wreck, unless I can come in and fix everything for them. Then probably the most simple knee-jerk answer to that is probably something from your childhood. I'm not saying this is your scenario, but this is a scenario that I've heard often, which is, um, no insult to our ladies out there, love you. But, um, what I've heard often is mom and dad split up. These are the guys I'm talking to. And you can book time with me, by the way, dadstartingover.com/coaching, and you can talk to me one-on-one as well as other guys on the team. Join the DSO Fraternity private men's group and the pricing's a lot cheaper. Sales pitch over. Um, but what I hear from coaching clients is, uh, my mom and dad split up. I didn't see my dad a whole hell of a lot. My mom always had a lot of bad shit to say about dad, and basically it was hammered into my head over and over again, don't be like your father, don't be like your father. And I got really, really close to my mom, and in hindsight, probably too close. She was telling me about all her problems at work. She was telling me about all her boyfriend issues. We had guys coming in and out of the door a lot. She was complaining about all of them. Don't, don't be like this guy, don't be like that guy. This guy's a sweetheart, this guy's nice, this guy's not nice. A lot of stuff I didn't really want to hear as her son, but I became basically like a quasi-husband to her. I became like a surrogate spouse in place of my dad who was out of the picture. And in turn, after being this caregiver, emotional caregiver to my mom, after being this guy who was trying to make her feel better all the time and trying to please mom all the time and stuff, I take that same energy to my adult life, romantic relationships, and sure as shit, I tend to be attracted to and attract all these women that just want to unload on me and have me fix their problems. And that's just what I grew comfortable with, thanks to mom and my childhood. And I'm not saying that's your scenario, but that's what I hear quite a bit. But I'm sure there are a lot of other pathways to get to the same end game, which is I I tend to be attracted to these people who are wrecks. They're just these misfits in life that have all these problems. And if they don't have problems, I'm not very attracted to them. The more mentally secure and healthy they are, I don't really have any need for them. Oof. Things like therapy and other things can certainly kind of bring all that to the surface. But what do you think? Where do you think it comes from, Julian? Do you have any idea? Does any of that ring a bell with you? You. And Betty says— well, here's the thing, Betty. So Betty says, and this is a perfectly valid point, so their medical needs outweigh your sexual needs. It's in all caps, so Betty's upset. It's supposed to be for better or worse. Worst, she said. I think worse is what you mean to say. She took vows, or you took vows, for sickness and in health. Excellent point. That's why I say, Betty, it needs to be above board for everybody. Um, well, you know, different ways of looking at it. My partner has a debilitating disease, cancer or something like that. Um, they're going to be— they're going to live, but they're going to be unable to perform in any way sexually. Anyway, period, um, for the rest of our relationship. And it looks like she's got another good— I'm making all this up, you know, bear with me here— 30, 40 years of life left. Let's say we're in our 50s, right? But Mr. Man over there in his 50s is like, I've still got it going on. I still have urges, desires. I mean, I love her to death. She's, she's my, uh, my partner in crime here. I would murder for this woman, literally. But I still have this need. Now, the remedy for a lot of people is, and just go take care of yourself, dude. Pornography and stuff, those— that industry, as well as sex workers, that's the next step from pornography, um, exists for a reason, to fill the need of all these guys that can't get it otherwise, basically. Not enough in any— anyway. Um, so what you're doing is, Betty, you're shaming those men. How dare you have those desires? How dare you have those feelings? You should set all those desires and feelings aside because your partner is unable to perform. If she can't perform, then nobody can perform. Shut the fuck up. Doesn't sit well with me. There's got to be a compromise there somewhere. Do you, Betty, think it's bad if both of them come to the agreement like, it's okay, you can go get it elsewhere with other people, sex workers, genuine relationships with other people, and we remain as primary partners together, still love you, vice versa, but sexually go get a need met elsewhere. Is that bad? Betty, believe it or not, there's a lot of people in this world that would say not only is that not bad, that's normal and expected. There are cultures that think that way. I'm not saying they're right or wrong, but that's how they operate. And they would look at you, Betty, and go, what? I don't get it. He's supposed to remain celibate and everything else because one of the other one can't perform? That doesn't make any sense. Are they right, wrong? Don't know. But that's, that's how they operate. I can certainly see your point of view. I get it 100%. Tables were turned. I'm in an accident and I lose my lower half of my body. And my wife goes, I kind of miss having the physical company of a man. I'd be like, That sucks. I get it. Nothing I can do here, sweetie. I lost my lower half in an accident here. But sorry, sweetie, you're going to have to go without any kind of physical anything from anyone for now until the end of time because I can't do it. If I can't do it, nobody can do it. So sorry. I don't know. Sounds kind of selfish to me, but I can certainly see both ways. I really can. And Tim points out, and Tim has obviously been hurt by women here, I would assume. Tim says, uh, but women cheat on men for their own selfish ways. Everybody cheats on other people for selfish ways. It's an inherently selfish act. I need a need met, a pleasure from somebody else outside of the relationship. Um, people do it for a variety of reasons. Uh, all Betty is saying is that one of those reasons should not be because the other one can't perform sexually. And then Mark says, there's a difference between medically can't and refusing to. So, but Mark, the end result is the same, isn't it? I like this conversation. I'm not preaching one way or the other. I, like I said, I can certainly see both sides here. Um, but the end result is the same whether one says I can't physically do that anymore, like Let's say the woman lost half her body in an accident. I know it's ridiculous, but hey, just trying to illustrate a point here. And the other one says, "I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm not attracted to him. I don't feel it anymore," or whatever. But the end result is the same for both. The other partner is going without. Is that, quote, "fair"? Is that— what is the— is there a remedy to that? And if there is a remedy to that, what is it? From what I hear from the masses, it's, "He just goes without." Sorry, dude, you're not going to die without it. It's not a, quote, "need" in that way. It's not like water or food. I don't know. James says, "You got one life. Don't waste it because you made a promise to someone. Live with no regrets. Be selfish. You were born alone and you'll die alone. She's not coming with you." That's a relatively nihilistic way of looking at it. That's extreme. Opposite one end of the spectrum there, that's for sure. David, I don't know what this means. How do you like the Taylor? I like them. What's the Taylor? Should I know what that is? David, if this, if this is something that is like a popular culture thing or something, I'm not very cool. I spend entirely too much time in front of this computer talking to people and doing videos and, and then kids and travel and work, work, work. I I don't know what the tailor is, so maybe everyone is having a collective laugh at me at the moment because I don't know what that means. But I don't know what that means. All right, man, we got some good questions and comments here, folks. Thank you so much. It's been about an hour. My voice is giving out on me. Let me take a drink here. Talk amongst yourselves while I get a drink. Oh, probably the guitar. Wow, how do I like the Taylor? The Taylor guitar, actually, that's a really shitty Taylor guitar I got there. I got that one off Craigslist years ago for next to nothing. I think like $200, which for a Taylor guitar is a bargain, right? It is a baby, uh, big baby I think they call it. Take a full-size Taylor and shrink it down a little bit, and, uh, that's the size it, uh It's been, uh, not tended to very well. It needs like a perfect setup, neck straightened out on it, the whole nine yards. But overall, it's not bad. Um, you can, as you know, you can spend a lot on a good acoustic guitar. I have not been playing guitar nearly as much as I used to. I get in the itch again. I played just the other day a little bit, hands started cramping up on me. I'm thinking about selling this guitar. That is a PRS. That's an American-made PRS Silver Sky, which is a Fender Strat copy. Thinking about selling that because the neck is just too big for my little paws, and I'm looking for something smaller, maybe like a tele-style guitar with it. So if anybody's interested, hit me up. PRS for sale, uh, Silver Sky, American-made, not the SE, not the, uh, Indonesian or Korean-made, or wherever they're made now, uh, but that's the original first run American-made, um, pretty sought-after guitar there. So let me know if you're interested, dso@dadstartingover.com. All right, hell, I'll even sell you The Taylor because that one never gets played. Um, all right, Mr. Jason says, just my jaded thoughts and experience. The quote, 'I don't want to,' means I don't want to with you. And my ex told me that she was asexual for years, but in the end Uh, she said she was very sexual, and she even told me, I'm sure to hurt me, that she's online dating because she's human and sex is a need. Yeah, she doesn't sound like a very pleasant human being, but let's not, uh, paint everyone with a giant brush based upon the actions of one person who is obviously a pretty broken individual. She's got some shit going on. Um, the whole act one way and then do something else and then come back to try and hurt the ex and everything else is very, uh, typical for somebody who's like a border Borderline Personality Disorder or something like that. I'm not saying that's what she has, I don't know for certain, but this points to a not-very-well person. And you just have to smile, nod your head, and say, best of luck to you, wish you all the best, and move on with your life. Just forget these people, they're nuts. And the more you listen to them, the more nuts you will become. Um, yeah, it's, uh, often with the people that are of borderline or of that bent, that flavor of dysfunction, if you will. Uh, what is not uncommon with them is hypersexuality at the beginning of the relationship, very, very interconnected, whole lot of humping going on. And then, uh, when they commit and they have a family and everything, uh, it's natural and normal for the sexual energy to dissipate, but for them it like just falls off a cliff and they become like almost asexual. And don't you even think about touching me. Don't you even think about doing anything. Don't talk about sex. Don't— nothing. It's done. And the guy's like, what just happened? And then sure enough, we discover affairs, or you divorce, and they become hypersexual all over again. It's just roller coaster. Relatively common. And often it has nothing to do with their partner. Their partner could look like Brad Pitt and have a billion dollars in the bank. Still the same experience. It's just how they're wired. And David says, too bad I'm a left-handed player. Well, yeah, your, your pickings are slim for guitars there, aren't they, for a lot of the makers? Some makers just flat out don't make left-handed versions at all. Uh, all right, anything else, ladies and germs? And Jason says, you completely described my marriage. I'm, I'm no genius here, dude. I've just heard it a million times. Pretty common thing. And I bet you— here's another thing, make you— make me seem like some kind of know-it-all genius here. I bet she had a pretty effed up childhood, am I right? Probably had some traumatic moments in there, maybe past sexual abuse and so forth. Dad left, who knows. But you are unfortunately, like a lot of guys, you're at the— the— you're witnessing the byproduct of all this, and it's not fun. And, uh, sorry you're going through that, but you're, you're one of many. And he says yes. So yeah, that's pretty common, those red flags early in the relationship. Oh man, we really need to educate our kids more about that. Speaking of, I do have a book for young men all about this relationship game and being a young man and being a gentleman and everything else, and it's called Real Talk Real Talk, No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men. Check that out. Amazon, Audible— yes, there's an audio version read by yours truly— Apple Books. You can get paperback, you can get a Kindle or ebook version of it, you can get the audio version of it. Real Talk, No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men. If you got a young man, I advise get them paperback and leave them a copy. Maybe he'll skim through it every now and then, but maybe it'll give him a little nugget of information that makes him say, ah, Makes sense. So check that out. Keenan says, Betty and most all other women— Betty's previous commenter on here— they don't understand the, quote, need or desire that men experience. We are different beings, men and women. I have to agree with you there. There are certain things about the the female experience that we as men cannot fathom. Being a mother, the anxiety and stress that comes with being a mother, the, uh, the physical nature of, you know, giving birth, being pregnant, giving birth, the hormonal roller coasters of, of, uh, PMS and menstruation and all the other stuff. And oh man, you poor women, I don't know how you deal with it. I really don't. Some of you really struggle in a big, big way to It's heartbreaking. See, I've had some women in my life that, you know, were like doubled over in pain every month and had to take, you know, all kinds of medicine just to function because the pains and the bleeding was so much and so forth. It's awful. We as men, we just have no— we try to understand, but we can never understand. We— it's not, it's not in our wheelhouse. Same thing, I think sexual desire is something that is kind of belittled by women, and they just kind shrug their shoulder and go, what's the big deal, dude? Just use your hand and, you know, take over, or, you know, take over the job with— do yourself. I don't understand. So what? You don't get it. You don't understand. Um, it could be argued the entirety of the human race in our history is, is predicated upon this desire that we have, which is me want woman, get her, uh, woo her. Get her to agree to sleep with me, make babies, and do that again and again and again. We have this innate programming within us, and it's pretty damn strong, really strong. Um, this was some time ago, this may have been like a couple years ago. I was talking to, uh, Dr. Psych Mom, Samantha Rodman-Whiten, and she was talking about one of her solutions in people with dead bedroom situations is we both agree, men and women both, that we don't masturbate. All right. And I said, are these dead bedroom situations like for weeks, months? Yeah, they're not doing anything for a long time. And it could take a long time before they cross the bridge and they're able to do it again. Yeah. And you're telling these men don't masturbate? She's like, yeah. And they don't? She's like, yeah, they don't. I said, Samantha, they're lying to you. I said, yes, they are. No man's going to go that long and not do something. She's like, why would the men have no reason to lie to me? I said, yeah, they do. It's called shame. They're not going to tell their therapist that, oh yeah, I cranked one off last night. I couldn't take it anymore. I go, just, just, you can just rest assured that he is. And I don't think she has an appreciation for that innate need. It's like, it's a, you know, guys, you agree or disagree with me, or that it's, it's a physical need, like a the dam's about to burst, right? In addition to an emotional need, that need for connection with another human being. It's just, it's this whirlwind of needs. And, uh, like, guys, I've already said it once in this live, and I've said it in other lives and other videos. Don't believe me, I'm not just talking out my ass here. Go, you know, we have a world of adult entertainment, we have a world of sex workers, and these things have been around, oh, I don't know, since the beginning of time. I often mention this story. I went to Pompeii, Italy for a tour of the city that is well preserved for over 2,000 years, and you can see how people lived over 2,000 years ago, the time of Jesus. Let's put it in those terms. And, uh, they had a really intricate system of pipes, of, you know, waterway, of these mosaic tiles. It was kind of cool. They had a mosaic tile in front of a doorway to one of the houses, and do you know what it said? 'Beware of dog.' 2,000 years ago, a floor mat basically made out of tile saying 'beware of dog.' I thought it was kind of cool. But anyway, so you can see how these people live day to day. Pompeii, it was about 15,000 residents, inhabitants in this city. 15,000 people, that's a smallish city here in the U.S., right? They had 40 brothels. 40 brothels is a place where you go to buy a services of a prostitute. 40. One of them was double-decker, two-story, and you walked in and you looked at the wall and there was murals on the wall, paintings still alive to this day, of people in various sexual positions. So you would walk in and no matter what language you spoke, because people came through Pompeii, you know, travelers all the time, and they would just point and go, 'I want that,' and 'I want with her,' and away they went. World's oldest profession. It's been around forever, guys. The writing's on the wall. It's very important to us, to the point where we will pay money for it, to the point where they had 40 brothels in a town of 15,000 people, to the point where, uh, pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. With that, and I can get an infinite supply of it, I could go on my other monitor over here on my computer and find an infinite supply of pornography video format, and I'll never run out of it. And yet men still pay for it. We're some horn dogs. All right, anyway. Hmm. Oh cool, Wordsmith is also a guitarist. Um, he's got a sweet Epiphone SG. Very cool. Hmm. Hide and Watch says mostly a dead bedroom for over a decade. Well, Mr. Hide and Watch, what are you doing for— within a relationship that's a dead bedroom for over a decade? Big question, I know. Well, you're probably going to say like most men do: kids, money, keeper to keeper, blah blah blah. Sad. But what are you doing, dude? It's not good. I assume this is the dude I'm talking to. Uh, any— anything else, guys? We're over an hour now. If there's nothing else, I'm gonna hang it up because I'm really thirsty. I don't have anything else to drink here, um, and I got shit to do before I pick up the kiddo. Anything else, guys? If not, thank you all so very much for joining me today. Another successful live. Thank you. Love all the questions. Love everyone, uh, chiming in today and joining me today. Give it a like, give it a share if you could please. I greatly appreciate it. I appreciate all of you following me. If you're watching this on YouTube, do me a favor, give me a subscribe if you could please, or like this live. Go through and like my other videos. That helps out tremendously. I appreciate it a great deal. Same with Facebook. Where else we watching this? Twitter. Hello, Twitter people. My 800 followers, not even that yet. It's ridiculous. I have made no dent in Twitter over the years, and it's one of my favorite channels. It's definitely the best discussion on there, that's for sure. Um, so follow me on there if you haven't already. DadStartingOver.com if you're a dude. The DSO fraternity, our private group for men only. Look forward to, uh, seeing you guys. And, uh, we got— HideWatch is adding more here, so Hyatt, I'm going to say let's save it for the next time, buddy. I'm not sure when I'll do another, another one of these, but don't want to miss your comment, don't want to ignore you, but appreciate the energy. Thank you for bringing it. But I will, um, see you guys on the next one. Have a good one.