Chat LIVE With Ralph (DSO)!

Alright, alright, alright. Hello everyone! How is everybody today? Let me bring up my pretty face here. Hello! Hello world! How is everybody today? A rare late evening. It's late for me. 8 o'clock. I'm gonna be up for a couple, few more hours. Um, Tuesday evening, a rare late Tuesday evening livestream with your boy Raffalito, aka DSO, aka Ralph. I don't know if it's an aka when it's your real name. Yes, my real name's Ralph. I'm that dude, that bald dude that you see all the little videos of. And you know, for some of you that just stumbled upon this randomly, maybe some of you are like, hey, isn't that that guy? Yeah, that's— I push a lot of videos out there. So I'm hoping some of you go, hey, is that that guy? Uh, if not, then I don't know, marketing's not working too well. But, uh, probably most of you that are watching this right now— we got a few guys in here, wait for more people to, to file in— but most of you probably know who I am. I run an organization called Dad Starting Over. You can learn more at dadstartingover.com or do a search for Dad Starting Over Across all the social media channels, we are on Facebook, we are on YouTube, and we are on Twitter, all three live right now as we speak. Also, you can find me on TikTok and Instagram. I believe that covers all of them. Um, YouTube is growing steadily, just added 1,000 new subscribers just last night, so welcome. A little interesting side note, um, I've learned that over 60% of my subscribers on YouTube are from India. So if you're a dude from India watching this, not necessarily live, it'd be a weird time for you right now, but probably later in a recording, if you could leave a comment letting us know, that'd be great. And we'll have more content coming aimed directly at you guys in India. One of our members in the DSO fraternity, our private group for men only, is from India. Hello, Atharva, if you're watching this. And he's going to help me put some content together. We'll do a little interview with Atharva and talk about some issues for men, married men in particular. In the great nation of India, and looking forward to that. Oh, let me uncross my legs here. I'm an old man, things hurting. Uh, welcome, welcome, welcome. I mentioned the DSO fraternity, that is a private group we have for men only. You can learn more at dsofraternity.com. Let me bring this up here. Pardon me while I go through my notes here. There we go, got it up and ready. I'm gonna go back to the comments here. I'm gonna paste this in the comments. This for you guys on YouTube, this will show up in the chat. For the— my Facebook folks, this will show up in the comments below just like a normal post. But there's a link to try out our men's group for free, absolutely free, for 1 month. Can't beat that, guys. Try it out. Everything from A to Z in the group. We have, uh, a private discussion forum Mind you, men only. No ladies. Nobody else in the world can see that you're in this group, that you belong to the group. Nobody can see what you type in the group. We have a private Facebook group, and then we also have a Discord server for our lifetime members. We're thinking about opening it up to everybody here soon, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Um, what else do we have? Live Zoom meetings. We have, uh, I think on average 3 meetings a week. And they're all recorded and you can listen to them from your phone, which is pretty cool. We have a DSO Fraternity podcast, over 100 DSO Fraternity podcast episodes, over 700 hours of live meetings recorded, so you're never going to run out of stuff to listen to, trust me. I've written 4 different books, if you don't know. My most popular book is called The Dead Bedroom Fix. I have audiobook versions of those, of all 4 books, and you can listen for no additional charge, free. For our Deist O Fraternity members, you can listen to all the books, as well as download a PDF of that book if you wish. We have live gatherings that we call, in the United States we call BroFest. And our next BroFest is coming up here in just a couple few weeks in New Orleans, Louisiana, April 18th. Looking forward to that. April 18th through the 20th. It is officially not too late to join us if you'd like to join us for that. Uh, dadstartingover— let me put this in. Pardon me while I type here, folks in the chat. dadstartingover.com/brofest-2024. Boom. Go to that, you can learn more about BroFest coming up here in April in New Orleans. And our guys in, uh, Australia, they get together, they have their own version of BroFest that they call MateFest. I always have to pause because I think that's such a Cute little play on words there. But they're getting together for their third annual gathering in October. So yes, Australia, we have guys all over the world, hundreds and hundreds of dudes. So join us. What else have I not mentioned as far as benefits of joining the group? We have video courses on a variety of different topics that you can purchase. And we also have coaching with myself, one-on-one coaching. You can think of it as counseling, mentorship, whatever. Guys that have been there and done that, it's myself as well as other gentlemen on the DSO, Dad Starting Over team. But if you're a member of the DSO Fraternity, the pricing for those courses and for the coaching is roughly about half off. So pretty good deal. A lot of cool stuff to join, uh, and the cost of joining the group, um, try it out for free for a month, see if you like it. No obligation to pay anymore. Um, if you do like it, great, stick around. If not, just cancel, no biggie. Um, it's not for everybody, but, uh, if you do stick around, the cost is less than a dollar a day to join. Less than a dollar a day. And we have guys— a common refrain we hear from men in the group: I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on marriage counseling, uh, therapy. I'm not saying we are a replacement for therapy by any means, with a licensed therapist, psychologist, and so forth, but it's a good next step, a good bump up over the wall, so to speak. And they're like, without this which costs less than a fraction of a percentage of what I've been spending on all this other stuff, I wouldn't have the level of success that I have now. So we have guys that say, you know, coaching, man, that was it. That's what really pushed me over the edge. This was the missing piece, joining all these guys and, and talking to all these guys from all over the world that have the exact same problems and issues that I'm having. I thought I was all alone. It's been a godsend for a lot of guys. So check it out, DSO Fraternity, dsofraternity.com. And I have missed All right, we got Sean from NorCal. Happily divorced, never to cohabitate or marry again. Well, boy, he's hitting the ground running here. Uh, peace, quiet, and freedom. I love your channel, amongst others. Keep up the great work. Well, thank you, Sean. Welcome, welcome, welcome. All right, Damien is starting things off with a bang. Damien with the question. Damien from YouTube. Welcome, everyone. Um, he says, so do you consider yourself part of the red pill community? No, I don't. Red pill. But here's what I've learned. There's different colors of these things. Your red pill or your blue pill, those are your two diametrically opposed, right? And this comes from— if this sounds familiar to some of you folks here, let me give a quick rundown. Damian, maybe you can correct me if I'm wrong here, but I've been exposed to this world for, uh, hell, over a decade now, so I would think I would know what I'm talking about here. But basically, um, The internet. You got a bunch of mostly youngish guys, not necessarily, probably guys in their 20s, get together and talk about dude stuff, mostly relationship-oriented stuff. And they all compare notes. And when you get down to the nitty-gritty of what they're talking about, the gist of it basically is, how come we get women's pants? And let's really dig into what makes these women tick. Let's look at— let's look behind the curtain, so to speak, at the truth behind relationships relationships, what's really going on here. By the way, none of this sounds bad in any way, does it? You know, a bunch of guys getting together and saying, "How can we make this relationship thing work?" Well, it starts veering off the path into crazy town pretty quick when you really dig into a lot of the stuff. I mean, you'll be digging into, you'll be reading stuff and you're like, "Oh, this isn't bad. I don't know what all the hubbub is about. What everybody talking about? Red pill, angry, this and that." And then you'll be like, "Oh, okay, never mind. Here's an 8-page diatribe on Women with nose rings are whores. And you're like, all right, I see what all the fuss is. There was a gentleman by the name who had a fake pen name, much like my own DSO fake pen name, but he sold a hell of a lot more books than I have, I presume. His fake pen name is Rolo Tomasi, which is— what movie is that from? Usual Suspects? Is that the movie? He wrote a book called, uh, a series of books called The Rational Male. He's kind of considered like the godfather, the founder. I don't know if he's the founder or one of the founders of that whole red pill thing, but basically it's a combination of like, uh, um, uh, evolutionary psychology, biology, psychology, all kinds of interesting stuff all thrown together with these guys just trying to figure this whole game out. And some of it's really cringeworthy. And, um, it appeals to a lot of spectrum-y kind of engineering, kind of analytic, hyper-analytical guys, I've noticed. But anyway, um, it's kind of silly. There's red pill, blue pill. This movie The Matrix, you take the red pill, blue pill, what Morpheus says to Neo. Red is the truth and blue is you get to stay in la-la land and ignore the truth and just live in this make-believe world. Well, guys have clung to this this idea, and we call it you're a red pill guy or you're a blue pill guy. And what I've learned is there's a combo of the two. They call them purples. And then we have really nihilistic people, they call those black pill. And I'm sure there's pills I'm missing, but now it's getting silly, and now we all sound like a bunch of 15-year-olds, and we just need to stop it. So am I part of the community? I kind of cringe when I hear that. I'm like, no, I'm not part of any community. I'm just a dude talking about relationship-y stuff. And yes, there's going to be intersections, I'm sure. And I've said some things that people go, yeah, red pill. I'm like, yeah, no, it's just normal. It's just a guy talking. I'm not part of any club. So no, I, I can certainly, um, relate to probably a lot of what they, what they say. Um, is anybody who was honest would say like, yeah, there's some truth there for sure. Absolutely. Um, who's the guy that everybody likes to demonize? And I did a video on him, Andrew Tate. I've seen Andrew Tate videos where I go, he's got a point. Dude's all right, that sounds good to me. And then you dig into some Andrew Tate stuff and you're like, oh, never mind. But throw the baby out with the bathwater. You're gonna hang out with some dude, you know, you could hang out with some total psycho and, and he's gonna— you'll be like, oh, he's not bad. And then next thing you know, he's talking about, you know, Martians are talking to him and stuff. You're like, oh, okay. Um, that's kind of the Andrew Tate world. Andrew looks like he's gotten in trouble again, the whole sex trafficking thing. If you watch some videos on all Andrew, he's really He needs somebody in his, you know, somebody in his corner to shut him up because he just keeps digging himself a deeper and deeper legal hole. He has said some stuff online that just makes me say, wow, what's he thinking? Um, he's admitted to flat out breaking a lot of laws, and it's not going to work out well for him. But anyway, going off on a tangent there, but thank you for the question, Damien. That's how this works. For anybody that's new to these, um, live streams, it's basically me going off on tangents Um, somebody says a question or blurb or something, and away I go, and then we go back and forth. This— these have gone as long as a couple hours. I really don't want to hang out for a couple hours. Not that I don't like you people, that's a little long. Usually about an hour is what we do, 45 minutes to an hour. Um, am I missing anything? Hey from Michigan. Um, all right, here we go. I need to scroll. Hey from Michigan, says Tim. Well, hey Tim. Eric says, "Don't forget the black pill." Beat you to it, Eric. All right. Mr. Allen says, "Ralph, do you think that humans desire each other for physical affection? Do you think that desire is based upon our personal biological DNA more than anything?" Well, what else would it be? Isn't everything driven by our Who I am, my biology, the DNA within me, you know, a bunch of cells with programming within them. Um, we know that, um, and I've talked about this quite a bit, um, there have been, uh, studies done where they take like, uh, I don't know if it's pictures or drawings or both of like the female and the male form, and they show it like, you know, a series of images to men on the street, like in New York City. Point to the one you think is the most attractive. Then they take it to South America, point to the one you think is most attractive. And they take this to like people all over the world, men and women. What man, what woman figure in this book do you think is most attractive? And sure as shit, they all seem to pick the same one. Not all, all, not 100%, but enough that we see a trend where we go, well, that's interesting. So why is it that people, tribe in Africa, Guy in Canada, an Eskimo over here, they all go, hmm, I like that one. It seems that we have some kind of biological programming within us to recognize. For men, it seems to be we recognize, um, cues, biological traits, physical traits within women that point to fertility. You know, the classic shape that points to a woman who's, um, what do we call it, gynoid features., fat distribution on the body that's— that points to, um, estrogen dominance within the body. Very female, which would mean, um, very fertile, which means, oh, she'll be good for making babies. That's why we're attracted to them. That's not the most romantic thing in the world, but seems to be— that's how we're wired. And women, on the other hand, tend to like somebody who has like that, um, broad-shouldered a narrow hip kind of look. So you have to go like this, not like this, but like this with the shoulders going up and hip. That seems to be what they point to and go, "Yeah, I like the look of that." Well, why? Seems to point to higher testosterone. And maybe the man will be more fertile. And more specifically, this is all kind of theorizing, he'll be able to take care of me, protect me. That seems to be the theme for what makes a male attractive. Men and women attractive at a very visceral, admittedly shallow physical level. We're not looking at their personality. We're not looking at their intelligence. We're not looking at all that good stuff, which is important. No, just at a very visceral physical level. Boom. Seems we all have the same thing in common. How interesting is that? Hmm. Uh, Damien says, uh, this is a follow-up to his question about am I red pill? Um, I just had to ask because it just seems that a lot of space that caters to guys have that stigma. Uh, personally, I just love the common sense approach that you have. Well, thank you very much, Damien. I appreciate that. Um, Alan says, but in follow-up to Alan's question earlier was, is what we find attractive as human beings dictated by our biology, our DNA? What do you think? And he says, basically, my question is, can we override that? It feels like most of us are in romantic relationships to the point that we will accept anything. Oh. Well, I would hope not. Um, so can we overwrite that? So let me try to maybe flesh this out a little bit more, as I often say. So you're with someone and they don't necessarily make you go, ooh, off the bat, right? You just get to know them, let's say. And as you get to know them, you like them inside and out, and you get to like them and appreciate them more and eventually fall in love with them, and you have a very deep emotional romantic connection with them. But on the surface, you probably— they weren't really my type. Maybe, sorry to offend, maybe it's, um, somebody's obese, which is not the typical, you know, hourglass shape that we all like. And maybe she's, you know, shaped like an orange. I don't know. And but eventually you get to meet Miss Orange and you're like, I really like her, like we have so much in common. And I think about her a lot and I fall in love with her, but she's not the typical woman that I like to look at. That's fine, but are you overcoming that programming? Um, uh, not necessarily. It's not like we're saying, uh, we are repulsed to the point of not communicating with people that don't fall within certain criteria. It's just that what initially attracts us to them and makes us go, oh, It's— that's what I'm talking about, you know. And it is for, it seems, cross-culturally, as a certain type of person, male and female. Um, but yeah, I'm sure there are people that have overcome that, if you will, and look beyond that very shallow programming of ours. Um, but I guess you always have to wonder, will they have still those lingering desires? Will we look at that man's, you know, browser history on his computer and see A lot of orange-shaped women? Or are we gonna see a lot of, you know, what you would think of would be the typical young fertile women? Who knows? But anyway, so Mr. Sean is asking, have I seen the Soft White Underbelly interviews with Dr. Orion Charabon and Divorce Attorney One? Yes, I have seen James Sexton. Both have been on a number of other podcasts. Very interesting and intelligent perspectives on intergender dynamics. Divorce and relationships. Both claim to not be red pill but pretty much regurgitate everything that everyone in the red pill spaces are talking about, just on an intellectual level. Yeah, so what those two guys are saying is, I'm— I don't belong to the club, guys. I'm just spewing what I think are facts here. I'm sorry if that intersects with people like, I'm red pill, or I'm whatever. Um, that's— they're like, that's not my intent. Whatever, we have things in common, sure. Maybe they intersect at a level that is like 90% intersection, who knows, but that's fine. So, you know, those two guys are pretty big. If they're— I know Soft White Underbelly is like a huge YouTube channel. Are they— is it a podcast as well? I don't know. So if those two guys are on that, I know of James Sexton, um, if those two guys are on that, then they're pretty big deal. And they're a pretty big deal beyond internet clubs. Which is what we're talking about with red pill and so forth. So they just probably kind of chuckle and go, no, I'm not part of some internet club, I'm a highfalutin divorce attorney from Manhattan who makes bazillions of dollars. But his interview, a soft white underbelly, was very good. Yeah, but that was very, very interesting. I'll have to check out the other one. Dr. Orion, that's an interesting name. Orion Taraban. Wow. Um, but, uh, Yeah, there's— they have, uh, the divorce attorney James was very good, made a lot of very good points, very well spoken. He's been around for a while though. I think I've seen him before and other stuff. Hmm. Mr. Adnor says that I have heard the term purple pill applied to our group. Cool. Uh, half of, uh, I, I can see— is that a compliment? Best of both worlds? Um, Miss, uh, well, hello, Miss Pola Berlinski from YouTube. I like your little face there at the beginning. It's like an emoji face. Half of the world's problems are caused by women, and the other half are caused by men behaving like women. Okay, Pola, your, your image is of a woman, so I presumed that you were a woman. This is a very anti-woman statement. Um, all right, cool. All right then. So you want to follow up to that? What do we do with that information? Do we eradicate the female species? Do we try to distance ourselves as much as possible from them? Is this— is this just kind of a way of us pointing across the aisle going, all their— all their fault, so we can absolve ourselves of any wrongdoing, of any guilt, or whatever it may be? Yeah, I don't see the point of such sentiments. Usually those are the kind of sentiments put out there by a lot of men that have been really hurt. And I get it. You know, when you're really hurt, you don't want to hear any kind of rah-rah kumbaya bullshit from guys like me. You just want to say, no, F all women. I've been hurt, like, let's say, like 3 times in a row, 3 different relationships. I'm done. I get it. Cool. Eventually the guys kind of simmer down and realize that, oh yeah, I just have really bad taste in women. So sometimes it really is that simple. So interesting. All right, so thank you for that. Anybody else have anything? Let me scroll, make sure I'm not missing anything. Looks good, that's good. Nothing really new in my world. Oh, I do have some business-related news coming up, but I'm not ready to share that just yet. Let's just say some pretty big stuff coming down the— is it down the pike or pipe? It's pike, right? P-I-K-E. Coming down the pike. I don't know, but pipe makes sense. It's coming down like a pipe, right? I don't know, big things coming. Yeah, Ben says he's been divorced for 2 years and it took him some time to simmer down. Well, join the club, mister. Been there, done that. Um, yeah, it's, uh, when you go through like an acute trauma of divorce, which is basically what divorce is, you know, a major shift in your life and everything goes with it. And for many of us that are on this page, you've probably been the victim, if you will, quote unquote, of some bad stuff coming your way from the other offending partner. It's really traumatic. Sarah says, coming down the pipe. Are we sure, Sarah? I'm gonna say, all right, I'm gonna go with what Sarah says. I don't know, why does pike sound right? Um, Josh says "If you're trying to work things out with your wife outside of leaving, what's the best way to stop trauma bonding without causing drama?" Hmm. You know, setting aside the specific of trauma bonding— Sean says "pike," by the way. See, this is why I'm confused. Is it "pike" or "pipe"? Sarah says "pipe." Sean says "pike." All right, uh, anyway, back to your question. Already lost my place, Mr. Josh. Um, when it comes to, uh, we need to work on said issues within a relationship, but I realize in order to work effectively on this relationship issue, whatever that may be, I'm gonna have to introduce or I'm gonna have to do something that is going to introduce or cause a lot of drama in the relationship. I prefer to avoid drama if at all possible. Is that pretty much a good summation of what you're saying, Josh? Well, Josh, buddy, you can't avoid drama. You just gotta face it head-on. Sorry. And if you're drama-averse, not a good thing, understandable thing. A lot of us are very conflict-averse. I don't want to go there if I don't have to. I prefer just to ignore it. I just kick this issue down the road, kick the can down the road, or brush it under the rug, or insert analogy here. As long as I don't have to deal with said drama, can we just pretend this isn't happening? Let's ignore the elephant in the room, or whatever it may be. Uh, not good. You need to face it. Uh, you're— whatever you do, I, I think it's safe to say If what you're going to do to address the relationship issue is in fact going to be effective and work, it's going to cause drama. Somebody's going to get their feelings hurt. Somebody's going to have to face some really ugly stuff. Probably both sides are going to have to face some really ugly stuff, set their egos aside, swallow their pride, and work on stuff. And it's going to result in some drama. It's going to result in some anger, some shit getting thrown, some people crying. Divorce being threatened, somebody leaving, somebody coming back. It's not gonna be pretty. Gonna have to face the music, dude. It's just— it is what it is. Um, this is where I say something like, man the fuck up, or something like that. It's a little blunt, a little crass, but, um, sometimes it is what it is. Pola, I'm not sure what to make of that comment, so I'm going to skip right over that one. It's about hitting somebody with a brick. Moving on. All right. Oh, Sean asked a good question. Uh, favorite riff to play loudly when nobody is home? Um, notice by the way, the guitars are missing from the background. I sold— am I pointing right? Yeah, I sold the, um, Gibson Les Paul. Last night actually on Reverb. Thank you for whoever suggested Reverb. I've been looking at Reverb for a while, like years now, but I never thought about selling something on there. Put it up for sale, boom, sold. Um, so it went out today in the mail. Um, I already got a replacement coming. It's coming day after tomorrow, so wait to see what that may be. Day after tomorrow, Thursday night, I'm going to be live with Dr. Psych Mom. I forgot to mention that, uh, 6:30 PM Eastern Time. Thursday night I'll be live on here with Dr. Psych Mom taking questions, and I'll have a new guitar, at least one new guitar behind me. Oh, exciting! Favorite riff to play? I'm not a very good guitar player, believe it or not, but I recently, recently learned, um, shit, I'm forgetting the name of it, by the band The Darkness. Do you remember The Darkness? Were they like early '90s? They had a hit song called— I think it was called I Believe in a Thing Called Love. I learned that one recently. Yeah, there's me riffing with my mouth. Good stuff, Ralph Brewer. Brian says, I'm having trouble with my relationship. I got fears and anxiety. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Brian. What are you doing about that, buddy? Um, thought about approaching cohabitating with a new relationship. I'm not in a hurry, but I do acknowledge that I miss that in a relationship, Ben says. Um, well, there's good and bad, isn't there? Um, the bad that the general population, if you will, doesn't like to talk about— I think we all kind of know it, but we don't talk about it except in these relationship circles, really talk circles, is especially from the male point of view. From the male point of view, what most of us say is that we would love for the, for the honeymoon stage to last indefinitely. Hypersexual, hyperconnected, hyperromantic. The woman treats you like a king. Nothing you do is wrong. Everything is amazing. You're so in love. You both wake up in the morning and your first thing you think of is the other person. That stage, right? You want to prolong that as much as possible because it feels great, but it cannot last indefinitely. Not for most of us. There's some people like, "Ours lasted for 90 years." Whatever, you're an anomaly. Most of us, no. But what's a surefire way to throw a bucket of cold water on the old honeymoon stage? Move in together. You move in together and they'll probably have an initial like, "Yahoo, we moved in together. Isn't this great?" And then what a lot of men report is like, huh, we went from X number of times per week to 1, 2 less times per week to so many times a month. Yeah, when can you, men are so analytical that we recognize these when things start going down. And you say, when do you think the wheels started falling off the old sexiness in the relationship? And a lot of guys say, probably back when we started moving in together. That's when things change. A, a not so nice thing about the world of relationships, and this isn't me saying this, I'm just miming what psychologists such as psychotherapist Esther Perel— I've mentioned her quite a bit, I love her books, Mating in Captivity, State of Affairs. Do a search for Esther Perel, E-S-T-H-E-R-P-E-R-E-L, on YouTube. You'll find all kinds of good stuff. She did a famous TED Talk about passion in relationships. But anyway, she famously said something to the effect of, passion in a relationship leaves when comfort comes in. So as soon as you're safe and secure and she's not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere, that state of the relationship, you will notice almost inevitably The eroticism, for lack of a better word, the hot and heavy gets cranked down. So what's a good way to start that process? You move in together. We cohabitate. We're under the same roof. That's a very comfortable, safe thing. We're protecting each other. It's almost as if new relationship energy is— another way to look at it is new relationship anxiety, uncertainty. Is this person going to be my mate for life or not? Does this person really like me or not? Do they have somebody else or not? Are they dating other people? Or, you know, that in that world, it seems that passion, eroticism, hot and heavy, whatever you want to call it, exists more so than in the, "Hi honey, I'm home." That, you know, well, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Familiarity breeds contempt. These are two sayings that have been around forever. So cohabitating with somebody can be a great thing, can make financial sense and all this other stuff, but as far as the passion's concerned, if you're like most, you'll probably notice a downturn. If you're cool with that, if you're, you know, quote unquote mature enough to deal with that and just say, "Hey, I understand. This is the way it is." Maybe you're an older gentleman and you're like, "I don't need it every day. Once a week, a few times a month, once a month, whatever is fine with me," then cool. Who am I to say you're weird or wrong or whatever? But it's probably gonna go down. Here we are, I've started a debate. Down the turnpike. So it's pipe, pike, turnpike? I still think it's pike, P-I-K-E. Ralph Brewer, who are your top rock bands for you? For me it's Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Rival Sons. I will say yes to Led Zeppelin, AC/DC for sure, uh, Sabbath, Black Sabbath. I mean, they're like the pioneers of heavy metal, right? Um, I'm a big Metallica fan. I got all their albums. Um, I, I jumped on the Metallica bandwagon around the Injustice for All in the '80s when I was a kid, and I saw One, the, the music video on MTV. Um, I just go on and on about music. Kind of drawn a blank when you put me on the spot there, but, uh, Zeppelin's huge, of course. Um, you know, I like that Zeppelin's kind of a blues rock based, and I like that a lot. Um, I like Skynyrd, ZZ Top. Those are all kind of bluesy based rock and roll. Skynyrd's more like, you know, they're like a blues southern rock kind of thing. I like that. Allman Brothers, uh, Cream with Eric Clapton. I like all that stuff. And then Ben is saying that's his counter to the whole cohabitating thing, and then you remember when the last time that happened, right? Yeah. Steve says he finally broke the trauma bond, 25-year relationship. It has taken 6 years and a lot of pain, but I think of her now and I feel absolutely nothing. I honestly thought this would never happen, but it is the most liberating feeling I have ever experienced in my life. Keep pushing forward and back yourself, guys. Yeah, um, that indifference, right? You don't really feel bad towards her. You don't wish her anything awful and terrible, like, I'm going to get back at her and I hope she gets, you know, AIDS and dies. No, you're just like, whatever. And then days, weeks, months go by and not even a thought. Steve is testimony to You'll— guys, if you're in that position, you will get there, okay? Trust me. One way to expedite that— not even expedite— you need to limit contact as much as humanly possible with the other person so that addiction to them can wane, and eventually you don't think about your drug anymore, your ex. Ben says pike. So whoever the young lady was earlier that says pipe, you're being outvoted here. Pike. P-I-K-E. If you're just now joining me, wondering what the hell we're talking about, I say coming down the pike, coming down the pipe. I see. It sounds like it's pike. Hmm. Sean says, I missed cohabitation of being the patriarch. Only 5 and a half years of owning my own home, successful dating, being in a long-term relationship who owns her own place. I don't know if I could ever go back. The time, space, mystery, and polarity have been key for continued healthy sex and secure attachment. You have stumbled upon something that a lot of people have, especially post-divorce. Do I really want to cohabitate? Do I really want to marry? Do I really? I kind of have a good thing going on here. I got my own thing. She has her own thing. She's a very independent person. I'm very independent. And when we get together, it's kind of an event as opposed to a necessity, as opposed to, I guess we have to have a date night. No, it's just like, woohoo, date night, Saturday. I get to see her. I haven't seen her in all week or something like that. That seems to be the key. If Again, big if, if the, um, keeping the spark alive sexually is important to you, which it is for most men, then yeah, that seems to be the key, dude. Hmm. Oh, my first tape was Garage Days playing an old tennis racket. So Garage Days with Metallica. Uh, and did you ever hear Garage Days Revisited? Was a cool album. Uh, it's like Garage Days plus a whole other album. Hmm, yeah, some people agreeing with, uh, with Steve there. All right, anything else, guys? Dead air from the radio days, when you don't speak and there's nothing going on, it's called dead air. Dead air. See if I miss anything over there. Looking good. All right, any other questions, ladies and germs? Anything at all, please feel free. dadstartingover.com, DSO fraternity, dsofraternity.com. I'll put in the chat one more time. In the comments, there's, uh, get 1 month free of the DSO fraternity, our private group for men only. We need more good men in the group. If you need help, if you want to help others, that's a group for you. Oh, here we go. Sarah. Sarah says, I'm pretty sure you say I have other things going down the pipeline. Sarah, you're not helping. Now you've just added a whole line. I just say coming down the pike. Coming down the pipe. You've been outvoted. I think we have 2 people saying pipe, or was that you saying pipe earlier? I can't keep up with the names. Eric says, "Plug my book for young men." Yes, sir, I will. Thank you so much for that. It's called Real Talk. Real Talk: No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men. It is in response to a lot of guys saying, "Where was this shit when I was young?" Meaning no bullshit relationship advice type stuff. "Why didn't anybody tell me about anxiety? Why didn't anybody tell me about the importance of keeping in shape? The importance of hanging out with other men?" Vulnerability, all this other stuff. Why didn't nobody talk to me about this stuff? My dad never put his arm around me and said, hey kiddo, let me fill you in on some stuff here. I see something you're doing wrong. No one ever corrected me or anything. Why is that? I said, well, it's a difficult thing, but here you go. Let me do my part. Here's a book, Real Talk, No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men. Pardon me while I— I'm gonna bring up, uh, Talk amongst yourselves. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. See if I can find it this way. Yeah, there it is. All right. I'm going to paste a link here in the comments. This will send you to Amazon. Yeah, I'm going to start posting more direct Amazon links because that's where most people buy books these days. But there's a link to— I just noticed in the URL they abbreviated bullshit. They took the IT at the end. So it's Real Talk Bullshit Advice Young. Real Talk Bullshit Advice Young. There you go. If you want to buy the book on Amazon, there's a link. It'll take you to the Audible version. I don't know if you guys know that Amazon owns Audible. Um, wow. And it's a pretty good price, $5.45. 30% off. I don't know if you guys see that, but that's what I see on my Amazon. Then the Kindle version and then the paperback. Uh, all my books have all three versions, uh, except for Red Flags does not have a paperback version because it's too short. It's a very short read, but there's a Kindle version as well as the Audible. Sarah's still pushing this pipe thing. Sarah, I think you've been outvoted. I understand pipe, short for pipeline. I got you. But as far as the phrase goes, coming down the pipe, I think it's pike. Coming down the pike. I'm sorry, I may have ruined your childhood or whatever, but it's coming down the pike. You've been outvoted. All right, so thank you for, uh, whoever— Eric, was it Eric? Yes, about the book. Appreciate that. Um, I also have another book for Hey, look, there's a link right there. Shitballs. All right. Oh man, I think I can just do this shortened link. Boom. That'll take you to, um, Divorce Panic, the second book I wrote. Um, bigger than— I think it's my biggest book, just all about my musings on starting over after divorce. I share stories from other guys who've gone through the process, discovering infidelity, all that good stuff. Divorce Panic, that's a good read if you want to check that one out, as well as the Audible version. Listen to me, that's a good read, as if I'm not the guy who wrote it. Take it from me, it's really good. Um, I'm scrolling back up here to Mr. Adnor. Says, tips on how an introvert can navigate the path to being a leader. Oh, interesting. In the relationship, um, I guess let's, uh, quantify exactly what it is you mean to be a leader. Um, do you feel that extroverted people lead more so than introverted people, like in the workforce or whatever it would be? Any kind other organization, excuse me. I would agree, that's probably the case. Um, if you're an extroverted person, you are probably low in neuroticism. These are personality traits, look them up. There are 5 of them. Uh, what are the, uh, openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. An extroverted person, hey everybody, Ralph's here, you know, walk into a room and everybody goes Ralph, and he walks around patting backs and woohoo, and everybody knows that Ralph's in the room. Introverted person sneaks in, head to the ground, goes to the bar. I hope nobody talks to me because I really don't like being here. Introverted, also anxious, probably neurotic, and probably not going to be one to raise their voice and say, I don't like that. Probably not going to be the one to say, I'm going to do this instead. And I think those— you're right, people probably tend not to be the most suited to a leadership role. Um, so I guess the question is, is I would presume that you think the man should be more of the leader within the relationship. Again, quantify that. What does that mean exactly? Um, I— you know, it's kind of a subjective thing. What does it mean to be a good leader? Um, I think if we boil it down or really kind of when you get different definitions of leadership, I think what they all have in common is probably one that is the Stoic, um, unrattled, non-dramatic person, uh, which probably tends to be low neuroticism type of person. So there's a fire in the home, your leader type is like, everyone stay calm, out the door. 'Grab your purse, honey. Go, kids, go first. Walk over, you know, get out on the road away from the home as much as possible. Grab my phone, call 911. Everybody out.' It's very leader-y, but it's very stoic. The opposite would be put your head or your hands on your head and scream, 'Oh my God, we're all going to die!' You know, somebody needs to— what's the old, uh, old-timey trope in the movies when the woman is panicking and the guy goes up and grabs her by the shoulders and smacks her across the face to get a hold of yourself. We don't do that anymore, but some kinder version of that, which is, stay cool everybody, I'm— I'm the— you know, the ground is shaking under your feet. Well, Dad's here, or husband's here, everything's cool. No need to worry about it. I got things under control. If that's a leader to you, I think most agree with that's kind of leader-y. Um, what does it take to get there? Probably, uh, work on anxiety. I— what I have found is not always, but often, people that tell me, uh, I'm a very introverted person usually means I have a lot of social anxiety. Um, being out in public, being in a crowded room of people I don't know, even if it's people I do know, makes me feel very They're socially anxious. They're anxious people. And, uh, so that's something you need to work on. And what is it that, um, how do you work on social anxiety? You confront it. You expose yourself to it repeatedly. I really don't like going into crowded rooms. Guess what? Go to a crowded room. Go to a bar. Just walk in, head held high, smile at people, do the old, uh, I saw somebody refer to this as the white guy smile, which is the, uh, you know, walk by a stranger and go, hmm, that's kind of like a I'm not threatening hello, you know, give one of those nod to people. How you doing? How you doing? And then go sit down next to some stranger at the bar and just start chatting. Hey, what's up? How you doing? You know, talk about the game or whatever. Um, and you do that and it's awkward and it's kind of like, that didn't feel right. But you go do it again, and you go do it again. And then you see something in the paper about some kind of, I don't know, the museum's having some kind of exhibit. Oh, a bunch of people will be there for that. You go, and you go again, and you go again. You just need to hyper-expose yourself to it to the point where it's no big deal. I've mentioned here many times how this talking on the internet with my face on camera and stuff, which I am not a fan of, Um, very, very difficult for me when I first started. And, uh, I hid behind the anonymity of DSO. I didn't want the world to know that Ralph Brewer was this DSO character because I was afraid ex-wife and other people would see it and it would get weird. And I didn't want to go down that road. And then eventually I got to the point with so much book sales and everything else that I was like, I kind of have to eventually put my dumb face out there. And so what I did, it was a big thing. And if you look at older videos of mine very stern, very stiff-faced. Not a lot of this, just I'm like this and I'm talking and I look like I'm pissed. That's what my wife always said. You look— you're pissed off. It's like, yeah, I don't— maybe I'm nervous. And I was, I was nervous. So I'm much more open and free and myself now. And what did— how did I get there? I don't know. I had to do like 800 of these freaking videos and dozens of these lives and so forth to get there. So, uh, Mr. Adnor, how does the introverted person become more of a leader. I think dig in there. Introverted means what? Usually means anxious. How do we work on anxiety? We expose ourselves to it over and over and over again and eventually become a more calm, sedate person that people can turn to. Oh, you're calm under pressure, Mr. Not-Anxious-Person, lead us. In other words, women— Mr. Sean says women want to look up to and lean into a stoic mountain of a man. A rock in the relationship. That's a good one, Miss Sarah. Sean says competent, confident, fit, intelligent, courageous, can get a woman. Um, Sean says that's surprising. You're— is that in terms of me being nervous before about being on camera? That's surprising. Well, I was a very, very anxious kid and young man. Um, some people may hear that and be surprised, some people from my past, but probably this would be friends. It was— I was one of those guys that once I got to know you and I was comfortable with you, I would really open up. And I was always the comedian in the group. I was actually voted class clown in high school. I was the one that cracked everybody up. But if you took me out of the high school and somewhere else, I'd probably be like socially anxious. I grew up in a very anxious household. I was raised by— if there was an Olympics for most anxious person, my mother would probably win the gold medal year after year after year. And that was my environment as a kiddo. And that made me a very anxious young man. Next to no luck with the girls. Um, it's funny, I was— what I found is this is very, very common for the anxious guys that I talk to in my DSO coaching. Go to dadstartingover.com/coaching or coaching in the menu if you want to book time with yours truly or any of the other guys on the team. But anyway, um, I look back on my, uh, quote unquote luck with girls growing up and I was always pursued by them. I was never one to go up and go, hi, I'm Ralph Brewer Brewer, nice to meet— nope, they did that to me. I was a good-looking kid when I was younger, believe it or not, full head of hair. Yeah, and, um, the, the gal that would become my first wife in high school, we met when we were seniors in high school, I believe, and she was the one who was a friend, who eventually called me up one day at home and said, "Do you have a date for the homecoming dance?" She called me. I was like, "No." "We should go together." "Okay, sounds good." Very passive. Eh, whatever. And then that was my girlfriend through the rest of high school, through college, and eventually got married in our early 20s. I just went along for the ride. And that was very much my persona through all my young adulthood. Just, eh, whatever. That's fine. And I never had that, uh, oh, I don't know what the word is. What's the Yiddish term? Chutzpah, the oomph, the go-getter-ness to go out there and pursue women like that. Not until after my first marriage was over. And that was a very, I don't know if cathartic is the proper term, a very big mind shift for me post-divorce from first wife is very much a reinvention of myself of, I can just be whoever the hell I want to be. F Old Ralph. And I became much more outgoing and much more pursuing of women and dating and all— way too soon, by the way. And, um, yeah. And so I kind of shed the old me to the point where probably people who saw me from my previous chapter of my life saw me in my new post-divorce chapter would probably be like, dude, who is this? Look way different. Lost my hair, obviously, for one. Much better shape physically, much more outgoing, the whole nine yards. So probably if anybody like old co-workers and so forth that were there during my divorce and everything were watching this now, they'd be like, damn, Ralph, he's really, uh, he's really, uh, turned the page. Jeez. Totally different person. Totally different person. So, um, yeah, that was, uh, saying, uh, that's surprising, Sean. That was the Ralph you see now is not who I was for the majority of my life. Trust me. All right, let me scroll here. Uh, anything else, ladies and germs? We are coming up already almost on an hour in the books. I appreciate all you guys joining me today. Let me bring back— nope, it's not what I want. Some pieces of business before we wrap up here today. Thursday, 6:30 PM Eastern Time, Join me here, wherever you're watching this, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, myself and Dr. Psych Mom, Dr. Samantha Rodman-Whiten, will be live. It's always good when we get together. Samantha cracks me up. She's a genuinely very cool and smart, I mean, I'm a complete idiot compared to that woman. Very, very funny. Very funny, she cracks me up. So we always do very well on these together. We always hit it off. And so join us. We'll take your questions. If you don't know Dr. Psych Mom, mom, you should be following her on the social media. She's extremely active and posts a lot of really good stuff. So check it out. And dadstartingover.com, the DSO fraternity, dsofraternity.com. Bro Fest coming up, our big annual gathering in the States in New Orleans. Mr. Sean says, I'm in the counseling peer support for men space in law enforcement. Oh, very cool, Sean. He's been watching my content and others for some time now. I can say, uh, talking men off the ledge is the most profound experience. Would you be willing to share any stories of talking men out of suicide anonymously? Obviously. Um, I would love to— I shouldn't say I would love to say that I talk men out of suicide, that sounds very egotistical, but I really haven't. We've had some guys in our DSO fraternity group who have kind of hinted at, I've had suicidal ideation and it concerns me, for the first time ever after, you know, post-divorce or something like that. And, you know, guy discovers his wife's cheating and everything else, and that really throws him for a loop. And he's just like, for the first time ever, I thought about maybe I don't want to do this anymore. We, and we've as a group collectively come, you know, came to attention and said, oh, we got to really talk to this guy, you know, message him and so forth. I guess you could say talk off the ledge, so to speak. But no one has ever overtly said, I'm in the process of about, you know, I got a gun to my head, or something like that. Help me out here. I've thankfully never had to deal with that. I don't know if I'm necessarily qualified to deal with that. I'm not a licensed mental health professional of any kind. Um, but, uh, yeah, unfortunately I haven't seen that. But it— that sounds great, Sean. I would love to learn more about what it is you do with this counseling, uh, peer support for men in law enforcement. Uh, the law enforcement world is interesting, has a lot of parallels to the military world. As far as marital problems, doesn't it, Sean? I don't know what it is about the military and the police force that— I don't know if it attracts a certain type of people or what it is, but drama, drama, drama. Holy poop, a lot of drama, a lot of infidelity, that's for sure. Um, oof, yeah, it's nuts. So, um, it's interesting. And nurses, the healthcare world, nursing So it's very stress-based, isn't it? Something about that working in close proximity to people, life and death situations, a lot of stress day in and day out, long hours, and boom, we see a lot of marital strife. Um, those with, uh, those in the military will tell you all kinds of stories being gone for, you know, long periods of time overseas and stuff. It's not unusual to, uh, they even have a term for, uh the guy who your wife cheats with. What do they call him? Jody. All the guys in the military know the whole— all the Jody stories. And some guys in, in a desert in the middle of, you know, Middle East somewhere, and he gets a Dear John letter from his wife saying, um, I need space. Thousands of miles away in the Middle East, how much more space do you need? Um, not unusual. So it tends to attract a certain type. And Sean says, yep. Miss Sarah says, wow. Uh-oh, what did we say, Sarah? Is this something we said? Um, Michael says, yes, put a woman around Cosmopolitan's most wanted man that has never been around military men. You hear stories. You lost me on that one. Sarah says, that's great. I'm not sure what's great, Sarah, but thank you. I think— appreciate it. That's a name, by the way. SDLC. That's a long one. I like it though. That's a very cool last name. I don't want— I don't know if I should say it out loud. I don't know if you want me reading your name out loud for the whole world, um, but that's a very cool last name. What's the origin of that? I love trying linguistically to figure out where people come from. Like, Mastromatto is Italian, I would assume. Um, I've been to Italy, my favorite place I've ever been in the world. I've been quite a bit all over the place. My family's from Spain. I don't know if I ever mentioned that. España, Zaragoza is where my mother's from. She's there right now as we speak. Um, but of all the places I've been all over the world, uh, Italy by far my favorite. Hmm. And talking about women receiving attention they've never received before. For some, that's a very, very susceptible to that, uh, you know, it's that, uh, yes, it happens to men too. Absolutely. Um, there's a phenomenon that I've seen with some men, uh, men that come into my world. Um, let's say it's like a guy that's always been really overweight, nerdy, for lack of a better word, or dorky guy, no, no luck with women. And then, um, he reads my material or somebody else's material and he's like, uh, you know, I went through a divorce and he's like Damn it, I'm gonna change. And he loses a ton of weight, and he looks really, really good, and he's dressing better, and everything's improving in his life. And, um, let's say he's still in a relationship, a long-term relationship with a woman. He's trying to work it out, but here he is, this new guy, and he just starts getting attention. And I say to these guys, be careful. You're a human being. You've never gotten this kind of attention before. And A lot of guys just dismiss that. I'm not like that, dude. It's like, hmm, but you're human. And sure enough, away they go. They get like, oh, something happened the other day. Oh shit, here we go. None of us are completely immune from the, uh, the lures of another human being outside of your relationship. We all have that capability, and we all got to be very, very careful if that's— if remaining, uh Faithful to your spouse is important to you. I've learned over the years that's not the case necessarily for everybody. Some people open relationships and all that good stuff. Um, oh, very cool. Um, that's— oh, so Hebrew, very cool. Uh, are you of the Jewish faith, Sarah? Shalom aleichem. I did a DNA study, I am 2% Jewish. 2. The yarmulke is on its way. I've ordered one. No, I'm kidding. I was, I was raised Catholic, uh, cafeteria Catholic. It didn't really stick. Um, all right, anybody else? If not, folks, it's been pretty much right at an hour. That's pretty good. I thank you all for joining me. DadStartingOver.com, DSO fraternity. Check out the books. The books are The Dead Bedroom Fix, Divorce Panic, Red Flags, and Real Talk No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men. Do me a favor, check them out. My bestseller by far is The Dead Bedroom Fix. As far as generating business for myself, guys joining the DSO fraternity, buying courses, coaching, most came from that Dead Bedroom Fix book. So if you're a dude and you haven't checked that one out yet, That's the one that a lot of guys go, holy shit, this one really spoke to me. Dead Bedroom Fix. Amazon, Audible, Apple Books, wherever books are sold, check it out. And the audio versions are read by yours truly. Oh wait, wait, wait, we have Sahil saying, wait just a minute, he has a question. Well, go ahead, Sahil, please. You're the last one. Everybody else hang tight. I hope I'm saying your name correctly. Sahil, Sahil, Sahil. I'm trying to be proper here. We're waiting, Sahil. Sahil. Hmm. And Graham says, just to say thanks for the divorce panic. Oh, very good. I don't read books. I'm halfway through yours in one day. Well, all right. Honestly, it's great to know that I'm not alone, not in this alone. Thank you so much. Well, thank you for reading. I appreciate it. So Sahil, you have a question, sir? Please go ahead. He says I am correct in this pronunciation. Sahil Varma. Is Sahil an Arabic name? I always love to know where everyone's from. Sarah says shalom. Shalom, Sarah, sister. Sarah, 2%. Okay, Sahil, buddy, we're waiting. We're pensively waiting, pins and needles, my friend. This better be a good one. Watch, it'll be something, uh— oh, here we go. Oh, well, okay, kind of a general question. What's the best activity to do while you are going through Separation. By that, Sahil, do you mean, um, you're going through separation, something to keep you busy, something to keep you occupied mentally? What's the best activity? Uh, something that takes up time and brain power. Do you have a hobby? Do that. Do you have— you know, there's certain hobbies or activities that people do and they're like Holy shit, I didn't realize what time it was. Um, you know, 4 hours blew by like nothing for me. Um, when I'm in that mode, which I haven't been in a while, is writing, like writing the book, just typing away, typing away, typing away. Holy shit, I gotta eat, it's 2 o'clock, I haven't eaten yet. If you can find that, and that's called being in like a flow state, time just disappears. You have to have alarms set or otherwise you forget to go pick up your kids from school. Like that level of hyper, uh, focus. And if you're an ADHD person or person on the autism spectrum, they tend to get very hyper-focused on something, and you take somebody to smack them beside the head and say, wake up, dude. If you can get to that level of flow and focus with something, that's your thing, that's your activity. Focus on that, excel at that. If you can make that like a money-making enterprise, all the better, but don't necessarily have to. Um, but that's the kind of thing to keep your mind off of things, to give you a sense of achievement. Um, those are big, whatever that may be for you. And Michael says, I agree, I crammed the book and it was very insightful. Very good. PT therapy, domain command. What is domain command, Sean? Uh, hang out with dudes. It's your recommendation. Very good. PT being physical activity, um, therapy. Thank you, sir. He says, get back into your hobbies. Michael says, you have sacrificed during the hobbies that you sacrificed during your relationship. Very good idea, um, a good point rather. Uh, so many things when we are in relationship, men and women both do this, where you're in this what I call like the marriage machine and you get lost within the marriage machine and we set aside shit that used to give us joy. Why? Because I have responsibilities now. I got a kid, I got a wife, I got to work, I gotta work overtime to make more to pay for the mortgage. And then wife leaves or divorce, however, whatever happens there, and you're like, got some time on my hands, kids are gone this week, I don't get them back till Monday, and then you just start getting back into things that you used to enjoy back in the olden days. It's, uh, it fills us, some of us, with so much joy that we actually feel guilty about it. Um, domain command is a term that I coined about keeping your space organized and tidy. I like it. Very good. Yeah, yeah, clean your shit, dude. Keep up your house. Newsflash, it's not that hard. There's this whole thing about— I'm gonna piss people off— like, being a stay-at-home spouse is the hardest job in the world. Been there, done that. It's not, um, you know, if, if an 80-year-old grandma can do it, sorry, it's not that hard. It's not that taxing. Um, Being a stay-at-home parent, especially with children in the home with you, do you know why for some that is so exhausting? Um, because they're probably anxious people and, uh, they're just not wired to be around screaming children 24/7. Most people aren't, but people that are especially anxious tend to really get worn out by that and they feel like they ran a marathon. And then the person that comes home from their 8-hour, 9-hour job is just like What's the big deal? You had to sit on the couch and read stories, and the kid had nap time, and you had to wash dishes. And then these low anxiety people— usually it's the man in the relationship— um, maybe he has to be the stay-at-home dad for a while, you know, like a couple years or whatever, because he's in between jobs or whatever it may be. He got fired, laid off, wife has to go back to work, whatever. And these slow anxiety men are like, this is the greatest thing ever. Like, I was done by 10 AM every day. The house is like top to bottom clean. The kids are regimented. They're all doing their jobs. They turn like a little military thing. And then they look at this and point at the wife and go, "Huh, you loser. Look how easy this is." It's like, no, you don't understand. She's a little bit more anxious than you, dude. Probably a lot more. This was actually a big endeavor for her to stay home and do all of this. It's not really fair to compare. It's not really apples to apples here. So anyway, boy, I just went off on a tangent there. But anyway, I need to— it's 9 o'clock, guys. Thank you all so much for joining me this late at night. Listen to me. Appreciate you all. Thank you all so very much. And I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday evening. And then, uh, I don't know when I'll be back on here. Maybe I'll have time tomorrow to do this again. I want to do more of these. These are really good for generating content selfishly. Um, Facebook likes it when I do these, uh, allows me to make more money on Facebook. I don't know if you guys knew that. Um, For some of us are, uh, prolific posters to the point where Facebook actually pays us the more we do via advertising. We get a piece of the advertising dollars. They give us— Facebook gives us a bonus for doing that. YouTube, you get advertising dollars. Twitter, don't even talk about that. TikTok, nothing. Um, but, uh, so the more I do these, it helps keep the lights on. So thank you all. Thank you all for— if you could like and share, I would greatly appreciate it. And, um, anyway, toodaloo, guys. Thank you all so much. Have a good one.