A woman shares her OKCupid experience, where she gave a man blunt feedback on his bad photos and outdated bio, which he appreciated. Her account was later closed, likely because she's a sex worker. The app removed her modest photos but kept the risqué ones, suggesting it prioritizes clickbait over genuine profiles.
Chapters
I was on a dating app briefly for about a week and, but you know, at the same time, like, it's almost like the guys don't even try. Like, this one guy reached out, we matched somehow, I don't know how, but he, I said, I'm sorry, we're not a good fit. And he said, how do you know? And I said, because you don't stand out. I said, there are 20 guys in my inbox just like you putting in the same amount of effort that you are, which is basically zero. Your pictures are horrible. I tried to say it as nicely as I could, but I felt like I was giving this guy some gems here.
I was gonna say, that's the feedback he needs.
Yeah, your content, what you wrote, I'm like, you mentioned 2020 like 4 times. You haven't updated this since 2020.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, um, yeah, things like that. And, uh, He was shocked, like he had never gotten this kind of feedback before, and thanked me. I told him, you know, spruce up your content, spruce up your pictures, smile maybe, you know, a smile goes a long way. I said, what you're trying to attract, like, you just look like dull, you look dull and boring, and it matches your profile. And then shortly after that, my account got deleted, so I don't know if he maybe Maybe I offended him, but it was like literally the next day my account got closed.
Interesting. Now, do you think because it got out what you do for a living and they don't want sex workers?
Oh, it was very clear what I do for a living.
Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. So I would think that would have everything to do with it. You know what? Wait, wait.
Let me tell you something interesting about that though. So it was OKCupid was the site, which I hear now is like really, really archaic and outdated, but I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't show my face. I cropped off my head in every picture. And I originally had 6 pictures and OKCupid took off 3. But the ones that they left were the racier of the 3.
Interesting. So basically—
And then a week later, my account was closed.
Was it 6 cleavage shots?
Yeah.
And they liked 3 of them?
No, no, no, no, not really. I'm kidding. No, it was like a lot of full body stuff.
Okay.
Yeah. You know, in different outfits of different degrees of, you know, skin exposure. But, but the odd thing was that they left the most risqué pictures and took down the ones that were more clothed.
That doesn't— no. Okay, they know what gets clicks, I guess.
So, I guess.
So back to the guys not really putting much of an effort into that. That, you know, that's something I hear from the ladies. All the freaking time. Like, Ralph Brewer, you don't realize what we have to see out there. I mean, the dudes open every conversation with, yo, hey, what's up, you know? And you look at their pictures and it's just— these are obviously 10-year-old pictures, some with his ex-wife, and you're like, okay, come on, dude, you know, holding a fish and he can't dress himself. So you got to wonder— my knee-jerk thought is when I have people that don't really put an effort into something Well, then it's because what, it just naturally comes easy to you? And you're like, why put in effort? I can get it. I could just be me and I get rewarded with all kinds of attention. When you talk to these guys, no, they don't have any luck. They have no luck. And they're like, I can't get a date on this stupid thing.
And you're like, I don't know, is it just because they don't know? And if that's the case, like, I should, I should open up a business. Like, I will help you with your profile. You know, it may not lead to marriage, but at least it'll give you You know, it'll give you a good start. Because most of these profiles are just bad, really, really bad. Or they say, you know, ask me anything, a blank profile that says ask me anything, like nobody's gonna ask you. Nobody's gonna ask you anything. You're gonna swipe immediately. You got one second to make an impression.
Maybe part of it is they don't have a full appreciation for just how bombarded an attractive woman like yourself is by the attention from all these other men. They maybe they feel they're special. Like, I'm sure she has no other messages showing up in her inbox. Here you go. And when he doesn't get a response back, he's like, what the hell? It's like, no, you're one of 50, dude.
In this day and age, could you think— and actually think that?
