In this conversational segment, the speakers discuss a relationship dynamic where recognizing that one’s partner is attractive to others can boost confidence, rekindle attraction, and keep the spark alive. They argue that knowing a partner could “pull” or be desired by others is a healthy reminder of their value, provided it’s framed positively rather than with jealousy or control. The dialogue includes anecdotes—such as a husband being praised by an office colleague at a Christmas party and a wife noticing increased attention to her husband after a new dress—illustrating how external validation can raise self‑esteem and reinforce mutual appreciation. They also outline the contrast between constructive reactions (seeing flirtation as a compliment, sharing it, and using it to invest in the relationship) and destructive ones (restrictive, jealous, or self‑critical responses). The overall message encourages couples to trust each other, treat outside attention as a sign of desirability, and use it to maintain intimacy, while warning against letting it trigger insecurity or controlling behavior.
Chapters
I'm gonna say something controversial. This is gonna sound really pickup artisty, so I'm going to try to make it sound not that, but it's, it's a hard truth. I, I think that in order for people to, I don't wanna say like ha, have respect for each other as a couple, but to, I guess like respect each other sexually. They have to know that the other person could pull. Does that make sense? I, I, that sounds really mean because I don't want people to be like, okay, so I'm gonna remind my girlfriend that people are interested in me. Don't do that. That's not the way. But like, like I, I know for sure my husband can pull. Like I know people find my husband attractive. And I'm not gonna lie, it— I don't wanna say like it keeps me on my toes. It makes me work harder, but like, again, I'm not gonna slack here. At the end of the day, my husband has the capability to pull a beautiful woman who could treat him well. And I know that. And so I maintain my position as the most beautiful, best treating wife. But I think a lot of people, they get really comfortable and they don't really like see that as often. They're not in— I mean, respectfully, most people will not hit on your partner in front of you. They're, of course, they're not going to do that. But I think that the wife here is probably picking up on something. Something is giving him confidence.
A change in his demeanor, a change in, you know, anything that makes him look a little bit more attractive or something. I don't, you know, who knows? You ladies are much more apt to pick up on those subtle little things and body language and so forth that we don't see. You're just wired in that way. You can instantly, when the guy walks in the door and something's different, you go, "Something's different. What's up with them?" And the guy's like, "Hot damn, this woman can just sense everything." Women's intuition, it's a thing, the sixth sense. But you're, oof, you're encroaching on a pretty controversial topic, as you know.
Yes.
Not everyone is wired in that way. Where it's when I see my partner being lusted after by others, or if I recognize that they have a sense that they have a level, a value to them that is attractive to others, that in turn makes me more attracted to them. That doesn't apply to everyone, but it applies to enough that we can say, yeah, that's a very real thing for sure. And there's a little scenario that I've I've written about and I've talked in videos about, which is very real. A lot of men can, can attest to this, which is, let's say you go to some public function like a Christmas party or something for your office, and you're there with the wife and you're schmoozing with people and getting and introducing the wife to people. And the, the office bimbo, we all know her, comes over.
The work wife.
The work wife comes over and hangs on the husband's arm and says to the wife, you are so lucky to have a man like this. Are you kidding me? He's so handsome. And then the entire night during the Christmas party. She's just laughing at all of his jokes and, "Ahahaha," and, "Oh, your shirt looks so good on you," and, you know, looks at the wife and goes, "Your husband, doesn't he look good? Did you dress him? He looks so nice," and on and on and on for hours. And then they leave and the wife's just looking at the husband in the car. She's like, "Well, your friend sure seemed to like you, didn't she?" And he's like, "What can I tell you? I don't know." And you know what those guys report what happens when they get home? Oh, they have fun. And he's like, I don't know where this energy came from, but holy crap. And I was like, I'll tell you where it came from. Your wife saw that you are in fact a catch and the pretty office bimbo sure seems to like you. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's a very human, natural tendency. A lot of men will report the same. My wife put on a new little dress I got her and whoa, she looked oof. And I went into a restaurant and I watched every guy's eyes turn and look at her when she walked in. And women too. I'm like, well, she's pretty. And that made me stand a little taller and realize I got a good thing. And I—
exactly.
And the next day I bought her something or whatever. And, you know, it keeps things alive, keeps the spark alive for sure.
Yes, it's— and that's the healthiest interpretation of, of it. Because, you know, of course what you don't want to become is like, oh, my girl's getting hit on, I gotta keep her close, keep her from going out. Or, oh, this girl hit on my man at Home Depot and now I'm gonna go back there and get her fired. Like, you don't You don't want that mentality. And you also don't want the mentality of like, oh, well, they're getting hit on, so now I have to go on a diet or start wearing luxurious clothes or something like that. That's not the mentality that you wanna have. You know, it's my, my husband and I, if we ever get flirted with, we kind of take that as like a big compliment. Like, that's my man. That's right. He's like, that's my girl getting hit on right there. You know, like, as long as you, you have that trust with each other. Of course, obviously it's, it's different here when things are on the rocks, but I, I have to admit when there is a loss of attraction or a dry spell, if you're a man who suddenly starts getting attention, and I'm not saying go out and try to get it and try to put it in front of her face. But if you are getting something that is giving you confidence, outside of the marriage, typically we will pick up on that.
It's, and it's maybe not necessarily limited to just somebody else is showing me some kind of romantic interest, somebody's checking me out in that way. It's also in terms of you were up on the proverbial stage, getting some kind of accolades. A lot of women will report, my husband was never sexier than when I went to some company function and he gave a presentation or he won an award and he was up on stage and everyone stood up and clapped for him, or he was given some big bonus because he was Salesman of the Year or something like that. And I just realized, whoa, he's special, he's different, everyone looks up to him. And the attraction points go up, you know, tenfold because of that. There's nothing wrong with that. So what we're seeing is this just, um, very natural human tendency of this person is wanted, admired, they have status, whether that status is in the terms of professional or sexual or whatever it is. And And, uh, I'm lucky to have them. That's huge. Yeah, that's huge.
