In this monologue, the speaker recounts how he reposted a viral video discussing a common but sensitive scenario: men discovering that their wives have a past involving sexual activities—such as oral sex, erotic writing, or content on platforms like OnlyFans—that they never experienced with them. He describes the emotional blow to male ego, the feeling of inadequacy compared to past partners, and the stark contrast in reactions between men (who feel insecure) and women (who often dismiss the concern). The speaker attributes the growing prevalence of these revelations to the internet’s permanence and accessibility, citing Reddit, OnlyFans, and other sites where past sexual content can resurface. He shares anecdotal examples, including a husband discovering his wife's erotic fiction and another finding explicit media, illustrating how these discoveries can damage trust. Throughout, he promotes his one‑on‑one coaching services and a membership at help4men.com, inviting viewers to seek guidance and discuss the topic further in the comments.
Chapters
Here recently I have, uh, reposted some material from like last year or the year before that I, you know, gone back in previous years and see what was really, really popular and then repost it. And sure enough, it's blown up all over again. And, uh, some of the topics include— fuel for discussion here, um, as much as we can via comments anyway— one of the topics was when a man discovers that his wife was sexually active in the past, which there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but her flavor of sexuality in the past was such that it, I guess you could say, kind of eclipses that of what they have together as a couple. So the man feels hurt by the fact that, let's just put it out there, let's say that he's in a relationship with a wife, loves her to death, best friend in the whole wide world, everything is wonderful, and how's the bedroom activity? And he'll go, mm, could be better. Has it ever been great? Eh, not really. "Um, well, what's wrong?" "Well, there's certain things she won't do." And right away when people hear me say that, they go to the most like porn-level stuff. Well, you'd be surprised that what some couples don't do is pretty, by my estimation anyway, it's a subjective thing, pretty sedate, you know, boilerplate stuff to do in the bedroom. So you hear a guy say, "My wife will never do anything oral-wise," for example. Sorry to be crass, but whatever. So never oral anything. It's like, oh wow. And the wife will say like, you know, most wives don't do that. It's really out of my comfort zone. I don't feel comfortable doing that. It's, uh, it's— sorry, you're gonna have to respect my wishes. And he's like, yeah, I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't want to do. If that's, if that's what— if that's your opinion and that's what you feel, then cool. Sucks, no pun intended, but hey, it is what it is. And so, um, Then thanks to the internet, thanks to maybe Mr. Anxious Guy being snoopy, snoopy, snooping, you know, looking through a computer or phone or something, or he just happens to stumble upon something which shows him. And you know, after doing some digging and more digging, he's like, oh my gosh, my wife actually did said act. It doesn't necessarily have to be the oral thing, could be whatever. And with previous partners. But not with me. And this really, really hurts some men. Real blow to the old ego, that's for sure. Um, and what I have found is when I present that scenario, which I've heard more than a few times from men that I talk to— and you can talk one-on-one to me, by the way, and book time with me at help4men.com. Uh, go to help4men.com, go to coaching in the menu, or help4men.com/coaching. If the pricing's a little high, guess what? You can become a member again, for less than a dollar a day, and that pricing on the coaching gets cut in half. Makes a lot of sense to join financially if you plan on getting some talk, you know, some coaching from me one-on-one. But anyway, I digress. Um, so anyway, when I present this scenario to men and say, what do you think? A lot— I would say probably majority of men go, I could see where that would hurt, you know. And a lot of men will be like, I can see how I am being a bit, uh, oh, insecure in this and everything else, and maybe it's something I need to get past. Maybe for whatever reason, she doesn't want to do that anymore. But it makes me feel less than the other dudes. Let's say Boyfriend A and B are better than husband in that way. They, they are in his mind, in his anxious mind, um, they have some secret formula or some characteristics or something about them which brings about a level of eroticism and sexual freedom in my partner that I have never ever seen. And that's hurtful for a lot of men to come to terms with that, if that's in fact what's going on. But when I present that scenario to women, I would say the vast majority of women say, go fuck yourself, dude. I don't get it. So it's kind of interesting, the dichotomy there, or the different perspectives on what is turning out to be a relatively— common's too strong a word— not unheard of scenario. I think what is contributing to this is and we're going to see this more and more, um, the internet. You know, you can go on sites like Reddit, the various other websites, and all the way to pay sites such as OnlyFans and others where women will do a lot of stuff on camera and sexual stuff on camera. And once it's on camera, guys, it's out there in the, in the ether, in the internet universe forever, forever and ever. I know it's maybe behind a paywall or it's behind some kind of username, login, whatever, but once it's out there, somebody grabs it, it can go blow up in a hurry. So just something, you know, when you're sending pictures to people and posting things, be careful. So sure enough, I've had a few guys that are— I was on Reddit, I was on something where Yeah, I had one guy who discovered that his wife was writing dirty stories. That was kind of her thing, was to be like a— I guess it's way more common with the ladies— a writer of erotic fiction. And he saw that her inner thoughts, at least when put on paper, were very hypersexual. And this was the side of his wife that he has never ever seen. So he felt, I guess, robbed, or I don't know what the term is, cheated. Out of seeing that side of her, even though she didn't necessarily, as far as he could tell, ever act that out in a physical, real form. But just the fact she put, you know, thought to paper. And I mean, it's kind of like, you know, you're super conservative, buttoned-up woman who's never ever done anything, oh my, clutching her pearls, and you read, you know, super erotic fiction about S&M and bondage and group stuff. And he's just like, who the hell is this woman? And he was pissed about that. Well, all the way to the scenario of, I saw pictures of, videos of, heard that one, the old online diary, or I caught my wife talking to her female friend about past things. Whatever the case may be, the man feels that those people are, those people in her past, more virile, more manly, more of her lover, and I'm not. And it hurts their feelings. So I put that little video out there, and sure enough, it's blowing up all over again. So if you guys wanna comment on that and have further discussion on that. What do you guys think?
