A therapist confronts a man who refuses to divorce his abusive wife despite 20 years of cheating and emotional torment, insisting his faith won't allow it. The speaker calls out the fantasy of a "magic bullet" that will transform his wife, and argues the real problem is his own insecurity, which no external change will fix.
Chapters
Man will say, Ralph Brewer, we get started with this, I'm never going to divorce my wife. So let's just put that out there. So don't even suggest it. I'm a man of faith, or my vows, or I, I take my vows very serious, whatever it may be. And I'm like, okay, go ahead. And then he will just lay into me the worst situation you've ever heard in your life, where he's with a monster. Talk about narcissistic, that doesn't even begin to describe it. He's been, he's been wronged for the last 20 years by this woman who's treated him like and continues to do so and cheats and all this other stuff. And he's like, and I'm not divorcing her, so what do you got for me, basically? And I was like, you're looking for a magic bullet that will instantly change the personality of your partner and make her a loving, sweet individual that you've been pining for for the last two decades. That does not exist. I'm sure somebody else will sell you hope that that may exist, and they'll take a lot of money, but we can just stop this right now if you want. I can give you your money back and tell you it's bullshit. That usually wakes them up to go, "I like the honesty. Okay, let's continue on." And you realize that you're just a very insecure dude and you need a lot of help. You have a lot of work to do on getting to the root of this, because if you don't address it, it's never going to get better, ever.
