01 - Not Born With Money Shame

Welcome to healing your guilt and shame around money. You're going to cast off your ancestral shackles and create abundance starting now. We're so pleased you joined us, and we know what a difference this can make. Because the truth is, none of us were born with guilt and shame around money. It didn't mean anything to us. If you put a baby in a pile of money, it'll chew on it, might stick it up its nose, but it doesn't think, oh, I have too much of this. I don't have enough of this. Other people have more. We're not born with all of that. We acquire it from people around us.

I imagine a group of kids and they've collected all these pieces of paper and shiny bits of metal from around their house. And they're sitting there and they're playing games with it, and one person goes like, ah, these are all men. And they start putting stickers on the faces to make it a little bit more gender equal. And one of the guys would look better with a pink mustache or something. And they're really having a good time with these pieces of paper and the shiny bits of money. And then mom walks in. Now one interesting thing happens inside of my body. When I think about that, it goes frozen. It reacts as if something really bad is going to happen because the kids were playing with money. And what's going to happen is based on the story in my head about how money existed in my family and if in my family there probably would have been a sense of bad boy, but not physical violence. But I know that for some people, things around money. We had one person say that her earliest memories of life on this planet were being between her mother and father as they screamed at each other about little pieces of paper and what that meant to them and the stresses and strains. And that's ancestral shackles, isn't it?

Absolutely. And we understand, like Rick said, his parents had issues about it. I was one of those kids, I think I was 5, and my sister and I were hiding behind the couch crying as my parents screamed at each other about money. And I grew up and I got a degree and I went from a grad student, very poor grad student, to having a good engineering job. And I was making about four times what I'd made. And it was so wonderful. Like I had just money to spend. But the thing was, I was scared of money. So however much came in, I was earning four times what I made. But somehow I had to have things. I spent it. Things would come up and it was amazing. How quickly I went through that money. And I would still, at the end of the month, have the same pattern as I'd had in grad school, where there wasn't enough. I was struggling to pay the bills. If I went to the grocery store, I was like, is there enough money in my bank account to cover if I buy all these things? And there was kind of that drama, the up and down and that adrenaline rush, if it was enough and that fear. The truth was, it's not for me and for so many people, it's not about how much money you make, though, that has an impact. It's also how you feel about money. So if this stuff is dangerous, your permanent brain is going to do everything it could, can to make sure you don't have it around.

I know a lot of people that never feel comfortable with carrying a $50 bill. In my family, my mother and father got divorced early, and my early things.

I spent it, and things would come up, and it was amazing how quickly I went through that money. And I would still, at the end of the month, have the same pattern as I'd had in grad school, where there wasn't enough. I was struggling to pay the bills. If I went to the grocery store, I was like, is there enough money in my bank account to cover if I buy all these things? And there was kind of that drama, the up and down and that adrenaline rush, if it was enough and that fear. The truth was, it's not for me and for so many people, it's not about how much money you make, though, that has an impact. It's also how you feel about money. So if this stuff is dangerous, your permanent brain is going to do everything it can to make sure you don't have it around.

I know a lot of people that never feel comfortable with carrying a $50 bill. In my family, my mother and father got divorced early, and my earliest solid memories around money were the sense that my father was using it, his wealth, as power over my mother. And that's one of the things that we're going to be working on today, is a new paradigm about money. We're going to be exploring how money can be in our world now, not in the Middle Ages, where so much of our beliefs and structures and sayings about money came about. We're going to be talking about that.

Yeah. And realize that as you change how you feel about money, as you release the guilt and shame, you get to have a different relationship with it. As I started releasing my guilt and shame and it suddenly became Very comfortable and easy to have money in the bank. I didn't feel compelled to do retail shopping or to purchase things. And it felt really nice to have my relationship change. So it was fun to have it around. And it also made it easier for me to do things that would allow my bosses to send me more money, as in terms of raises and bonuses. And my salary's gone up significantly and I just have a lot more abundance.

Ancestral shackles. If you, if you think about a shackle, and let's say that we're in the Middle Ages and you were born to a family of a certain class, whether it was a serf or middle class merchant, someone who made shoes, your position in life was set for that lifetime. And the shackle said, look, you can't do that, you can't go there. So we're going to come up with these stories about money and we're going to create a way of looking at it that makes you comfortable. Living within the range of your shackle.

That was all you had. Because back then, however your grandparents lived and your parents lived, that's how you were going to live and your kids were going to live and their kids. So it made sense to be comfortable with what was.

And people that grew up with parents and grandparents who had survived the Great Depression, they came out with certain strategies about how to survive. And that was based upon, wow, if we saved every single penny, every single nickel, then those nickels would have made a difference if we go through that kind of situation again. And so the stories and the energy that we have, they act as constrictions around us. And guilt and shame are amazingly good chains attached to a shackle. It's a way of saying, no, no, no, and the world will feel different to you.

Lighter, easier.

Exactly.

And when you change it at that level, your subconscious, your cellular level, your vibration changes all of us. Most people here are aware of the law of attraction. And we try to focus consciously on one thing, things we want to create. The problem is we can only think about it for so many hours of the day. Even if we really try hard, our subconscious and our cellular level, we are focusing and sending out that vibration 24 7. And we can't lie. Our body doesn't lie. So what we believe is true, that's what we're sending out to the world. So congratulations on being here and now and making a powerful difference in your life and the lives of those around you. Your children are going to see a different way of being with money. Your friends are going to wonder how does she do that? I really want to figure that out. And you're going to model you have a different relationship with your partner and your friends because you're not lost in the guilt and the shame and the noise. So great job, and we'll see you in the next video.