Celebrate and Strengthen Yourself

Celebrate and strengthen yourself. This is a real skills workshop, though. The celebration of a series that we have been doing as a community about be what matters. Being able to choose emotions that we just know in our core are important to us. They matter to us. A chance to feel. This is like a chance to feel myself an aspect of myself. And this session is about celebrating that and using these experiences to strengthen ourselves. And in the emotional world, strengthening ourselves isn't just about doing the hard stuff that's a part of it, but it's also about letting that energy be savored and nourish us and. And strengthen the pathways inside of us about what does life mean when this comes up or when this doesn't happen, and then when this happens, strengthening that so that we have more core strength in our emotional body. And I'm here co creating with Kathy Vartuli from Thriving now and the intimacy do show. Hi, Kathy. Welcome.

Hey. Okay, everyone. So glad you're here. And before we get started, Rick was talking about how anytime we talk about celebrating, we get fewer people. And I want to just honor everyone who's here taking the time, and I want to talk a little bit about why we do that because I think understanding our brains is. I geek out on that. I think it's useful. So some very famous neuroscientists have used this analogy, and I'm forgetting his name right now. And I'm so sorry, but I really helped me. He said, imagine that you're living in a cave and you have a threat and a possible reward. There's something that's threatening out there. There might be a lion, say, out, you saw a lion wandering by and there's a reward of carrots, our survival brain pays more attention to the possible pain or threat. Because if you go out to get carrots to get the reward and you get eaten once, it's all over, if that makes sense. Like the. The threat is like, could just wipe you out, the pain, the whatever. So our survival brain is 10 times, 10 times more sensitive to threats and pain than it is to possible reward. Because if we go out, you know, like, getting the carrot is lovely, like you're hungry, it tastes so good, it makes you feel happy. But if you're eaten by that lion, you're dead. And if you wait another day or a couple hours for the reward, then you're still alive and you can have the carrot. So we're not likely to die for not getting the carrot for a couple hours or even a couple days. We might not be happy. So for survival reasons, our brain is actually hardwired to pay more, 10 times more attention to pain threats than it is to celebrating and rewards. And that's just how we're wired. However, I've imagined that many of us that are here have been through times in our lives when there haven't been many rewards. There's not been a lot of joy and celebration, and that can leave us feeling really depleted and make life feel very, very flat. So when we can practice celebrating and we're going to do some tapping a little bit to help you release some blocks to some of this, too. But when we can start letting in the rewards, or we can remind our survival brain, hey, it's not a lion, it's not a tiger. There's plenty of things to do on my to do list. But if the trash doesn't get out, I'm not eaten by a lion. It's not like I don't have to always move away from pain and threat. I can also be motivated by the abundance around me that helps us get into the parasympathetic mode. It helps us relax, it helps us feel renewed. We get a nice surge of dopamine, sometimes oxytocin. So our bodies do need this. Our bodies do need celebration. And we can survive in a place of suffering and like, survival for a while, but we're not going to be thriving there. And thriving now is all about how can we clear out the blocks and get from the suffering and barely surviving to thriving. So celebration is really important. And I think this is someplace that people struggle with. And yet, because of the ways our ways, our brains are wired. Rick and I have trouble getting people to show up for things that are about celebration. Most people, their brains are like, oh, I'm going to take care of all the suffering and threats before I worry about celebration, just because that's how we're hardwired. So the fact that you're here shows that you're incredibly savvy. And we're going to do some things to help you let more of the celebration in so that your system can be a little more balanced, despite the way the survival brain is wired.

So we'd love to hear your yes, but. Oh, that's fine, Kathy. But what is. And maybe you're ready to celebrate. And celebrate is just like, thank goodness we finally got to the best workshop of the whole series. Thank you. I'm so glad you're here for me. I'll own that. That as I shared in the preparation for the workshop, the. Yes, but for Me is always. But I could have done more or. But what about this? There's a resistance and it's predictable. Okay. So like. And this is something that it's so predictable that it actually is useful for me to know. Oh, it's predictable. I'm going to have that little bit of resistance to celebrating. And if you're feeling any resistance, if you have a yes, but you'd like to share in the chat, I shared two of mine. I'm ready to do some tapping on those. Would that be good for you?

Yeah. Go away is one of mine. I was brought up in a family where celebrating or feeling excited, everyone was afraid that that meant the thing would not happen or it would end prematurely or it get taken away. So my mother, I still remember the first time I posted anything on ebay and I was so excited. And the bids are going up and up and I was like, oh, this is so much fun. And I was just checking it every five minutes and just having fun. I wasn't run away or overwhelmed or anything. But my mother's like, stop looking. You're gonna make it. You're gonna somehow jinx it or make it go away. Like, it's all gonna fail. And I still remember that, like, wow, this is not game changing. My home doesn't depend on it. Nothing. I'm just having fun. And yet the celebration and the, like, anticipation was frowned upon and put down for safety reasons. Like, she probably was brought up that that was not a good thing, that someone would take it away. So I just wanted to share. I was just typing that in there.

Yeah. Thank you. What if I left something or someone out?

Oh, yeah. Didn't do it perfectly.

Yeah.

I'll have to perform.

I'll have to perform. Yes. But is it really worth celebrating? It doesn't last and it's not real. Like, that is a really powerful suppression. Right?

Yeah.

Even though I don't know how I got here.

Even though I don't know how I got here.

I have some yes, buts about celebrating.

I have some yes, buts about celebrating.

I have some past experiences.

I have some past experiences.

They said I'd jinx it.

They said I'd jinx it.

It'd go away.

It would go away.

It's not going to last.

It's not going to last.

And I would really like to celebrate anyway.

I would really like to celebrate anyway.

Top of the head. I want to feel at least my inner celebration.

I want to feel at least my inner celebration.

I wrong. I don't have to Party.

I don't have to party.

I don't have to perform.

I don't have to perform.

And it's not going to last.

It's not going to last.

I'm just. I'm going to need to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to need to go to the bathroom.

Things will change.

Things will change.

Come on. And I still want to feel some.

Celebration I still want to feel some.

Celebration for who I am and what matters to me.

For who I am and what matters.

To me top and head and how I've put some life force behind that.

And how I put some life force behind it. I do think it's probably partly cultural and partly how we're hardwired, but if we have a threat like a hurricane. I remember living in Florida and there was always a hurricane might come and people would run out and get gas and get food in there, you know, pack their things up or whatever. It was a possible hurricane. It wasn't a perfect prediction of a hurricane. It wasn't barreling down at them, but it was still their brains will let them take action versus celebrating. We often want it to be perfect. And even if it's like almost perfect, it's like, yeah, but this, yeah, my hair is messy today, or I have a pimple, or, you know, that person unrelated to any of this is mad at me. Whatever that is. We often diminish it. And I do think that's also for people that have had trauma, for people that have been brought up in families where there was a lot the ancestral, ancestral trauma that many of us have experienced as well. Our parents didn't know how to heal their traumas. Celebrating felt maybe jarring, maybe uncomfortable, maybe threatening, whatever it was. So we've learned to diminish. We've kind of learned to undercut anything that was celebratory as a way to kind of protect ourselves from the good feelings. And I also know for myself, sometimes it felt too. Like the contrast was too much. So if I was barely surviving and everything was kind of crazy and toxic to have too much of a good feeling, just the jar, the shift up and then back down was just more than my system could take. So I learned mental patterns to keep myself from really acknowledging or stepping into the celebration. A way to diminish what I was feeling as a way to kind of cope with it.

Yeah, it disappears. So I would like to calibrate us to. How do I put this? Anytime I hear the word celebrating, it gives me an idea that doesn't necessarily fit what feels authentic for me. And so I'd like to extend the spectrum of what it means to celebrate. If you think about what emotional state you wanted to experience just a bit more of and you'll remember, I am going to remind us all that when we started this, it wasn't about feeling it all the time or every day. It was about continuous for an hour. Yeah. It was about finding an emotion that matters to you in your whole being or part of your being and developing any extra savvy, any extra skill, any attunement, any experience of that in a way that feels like, oh, yeah, I did use that or I did work on that. And maybe I'm not wisely fearless, but, you know, I've looked at it, I've looked at my life, I've engaged in. I wonder if there's any way that I was more peaceful at moments than I would have been by default. There's nothing wrong with the default, but default can be pretty flat. And for those of us that have a trauma history, we've, we've talked in this series about suppression. Right. We do it. Trauma creates suppressions or adaptations for what used to be, but isn't necessarily true. Now we can have the experience over and over and over again that when we share something that we want to personally celebrate with a particular person who shares should be more like on our side and celebrate with us that it's like, oh, that went away. Yeah. In the same way that if I pour water in a colander, I've got a slightly wet colander, but there's no water compared to a bowl where somebody else has other stuff that they're adding in, like happy branch off this.

Because I think this is a really important point. Whenever we are present with a feeling, good or bad, it's like that colander. When we can just feel it, tolerate it, let it go through. We may have a little bit of wet in the inside of the colander, but it's not stored up. There's a warning that I want to give you about appreciation that hopefully will catch your survival brain, because it did mine. When we do not express appreciation, it can become toxic. Just like when we do not express pain or anger or, or sadness, we store it up in a bowl. We're not letting it flow through, we're not experiencing it. And with all of us know the experiences with grief and anger and like we have this stored up feelings in our body and it feels too much, it feels too intense, we feel out of control when we do not express appreciation. When we do not allow ourselves to celebrate, we're doing the same thing. And then we create often a pedal. I call it pedal. Pedalization, where if you think of someone who's made you feel really good and you weren't allowed, like, maybe you didn't know how to express your appreciation or whatever, you put them on a pedestal or you put the experience on a pedestal because you didn't really celebrate and let the feelings come in and out like air, like they're supposed to be transient.

That's the point. I think. I think that. I'm sorry, there were many points in there, but I'm feeling the ripeness of tapping on that feeling of inner celebration. It's really designed to be a transient, not something that. Go ahead.

Well, I think that I have experiences where I have nostalgia, like a almost painful nostalgia from a certain time when I felt good or feeling rewarded or whatever. And the painful nostalgia part is because at the time, I couldn't really let myself fully feel it. I couldn't breathe it in and out and let it be what it was. I couldn't express it. And I don't want to live in the past or like, oh, I. I see this with some people, nothing's as good as that one time. Like, everything is compared to this past experience that was made perfect. It was pedotillized, put on a pedestal and made perfect. And everything is compared to. It never lives up. But when we can celebrate and appreciate.

It'S kind of a frozen version of energy and it becomes perfect, crystallized. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Can I do a little tapping on this?

Yeah, please.

Karate chat. Even though I'm somewhat reluctant to celebrate.

Even though I'm somewhat reluctant to celebrate.

And I don't want to appreciate too.

Many things, and I don't want to appreciate too many things.

I do want to let my emotions move in and out like air.

I do want to let my emotions move in and out like breath.

Yeah. I don't want to have a bunch of toxic bowls of fermenting appreciate.

I have had enough bowls of smelly internal kimchi.

Good and bad. I want to.

Good and bad.

Let it go.

I want it to flow.

Yeah. Top of the head. I don't want to create false perfect past.

I don't want to create a false perfect past. Interesting.

Yeah. Ivra. I want to be here in the moment.

I want to be here in the moment.

Side of the eye. That painful nostalgia is just old, toxic appreciation.

What if that painful nostalgia is old, toxic appreciation under the eye?

That moment wasn't perfect either.

That moment was not perfect either.

Under the nose. And yet I'm making it perfect in my mind.

I'm making it perfect in my mind.

Chin. I still had concerns and worries.

I had concerns and worries.

Collarbone. Some aches and pains.

Some aches and pains.

Under the arm. It wasn't really perfect.

It wasn't really perfect.

Top of the head. And I'd like to live in reality.

And I'd like to live here now.

I'd love to celebrate and feel my appreciation as it happens.

I'd like to celebrate and feel my appreciation as it happens. Like, almost in the now.

Yeah. In the present. So I. I have a very clear memory of when I was about 10, being at my grandma's house in Long island, which we love. She spoiled us silly, and we had been listening to some 70s music because it was the 70s, dating myself, and it was beautiful. The music was really poignant and kind of nostalgic. And the ice cream truck came, and my grandma gave us each a quarter to get ice cream. And upstate New York, we didn't have ice cream trucks. So this was, like, this huge treat. I make that moment so perfect in my mind, and yet, when I think about it, I was still this really insecure little kid that was, like, trying to deal with mom that was a little bit, like, you know, happy one moment and really sad the next. And she and my dad were fighting, and we had to go back in another day. But, you know, like, I made that moment so perfect. Whenever I'd hear 70s music, I'd be like, oh, that painful nostalgia as opposed to, wow. It was so sweet that I could have that moment and then I could kind of just be with it and just, you know, maybe tap a little bit. Like, it was really sweet, but it wasn't a perfect moment. It wasn't, you know, it was just a combination of some things I really appreciated.

Yeah, I'm getting the word mosaic of my life and letting the celebrations, you know, be placed in the mosaic of my life. Little tiny bits and some big pieces, too. They don't have to be perfect.

They do not have to be perfect.

The bits of my mosaic do not have to be perfect.

The bits of my mosaic do not have to be perfect.

They are an expression of me.

They are an expression of me and.

What matters to me.

And what matters to me.

I want to celebrate what matters to me.

I want to celebrate what matters.

I want to acknowledge what matters to me.

I want to acknowledge what matters to me.

There's something beautiful and something Mattering to me.

There's something beautiful and something mattering to me.

Just that is enough.

Just that is enough. That was really great. I appreciated that. Tapping Rick. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a perfect thing, but even if it's imperfect, say our colander has some dents in it. If we don't allow the appreciation to flow, it's going to start building up. And it's important to appreciate what is and still hold. Like, if we can. In one hand, hold, it's not perfect. In the other hand hold that. This feels really good. It can be. Yes, and. And that's a very mature thought process. Small children have trouble with. Yes. And it's like, either perfect or it's horrible. And that's the survival brain. They have their more survival brain. Their prepfrontal cortex is still forming. So if you can. When we're calm, we can practice that. Yes. And it can be both. It can be not perfect and pretty wonderful at the same time. And I think that the more we practice that, the more we can see the world as it is, because it's very. I have yet to have an experience of a perfect moment. I like to think I did, but when I think back, I'm like, oh, I was pretty scared. I was really worried. I wasn't sure how this was going to go or how soon it would go away. So I don't think many of us have. I think I would have to have a lobotomy to have a perfect moment. And those are. They don't do those very often anymore.

Eyebrow Emotions need motion.

Emotions need motion.

To strengthen myself.

To strengthen myself.

Under the eye. Benefits from motion.

Benefits from motion.

Moving my energy.

Moving my energy.

Including my celebration.

Including my celebration.

And my awareness. And my awareness under the arm and all of me.

All of me.

And it's okay for it to feel fleeting.

It's okay for it to feel fleeting.

It is become. It becomes a part of my mosaic.

It becomes a part of my mosaic.

So I got off some very difficult. I'm working with someone. The situation is very difficult. And there's other parties who are not very high on the emotional intelligence scale that were coping with. And as a. As a very sensitive person, I was there with the mix of things and navigating it. And when you're in the moment, sometimes it's, you know, you may not see yourself or know yourself. You're just in it. You're in the flow of it, even the hard flow of it. And I've noticed as part of getting ready for this call that as I walked outside, get in the car, I had to take someone somewhere. There was a pause. I was now in nature, even if it was my paved driveway. I could feel the air around me. And there was a pause. And in that moment, there was a sense of. I'll call it a celebration for who I was. And all the aspects of my energy moving in that dynamic. I can touch on that. It feels like it's a part of me now, but it lasted less than a couple seconds. But I will tell you that as soon as I allowed that celebration of what matters to me, because I, as imperfectly as I was, I kept coming back to what matters. Wow. By celebrating for that little bit, more of me was online as I drove this person, I could be more present. I wasn't in my head. And I believe that part of being what matters is this anchoring of recognition. So, like, there's celebrations where you're recognizing someone's achievement. And, you know, some of those are really big Olympic gold medal ceremony parade afterwards, the parade of the medalists.

And sometimes we'll say, if we're not that splashy, we shouldn't bother celebrating, right?

And that comes up again. Like, for me, it's like, oh, but I, you know, I wasn't old and I could have fantasized myself.

I won three Nobel prizes last night. I should not celebrate.

And I want to invite all of us to recognize if you've had any recognition of your courage, your attention to you showing up, you doing something that you could be like, you know, I did. I put some energy into what matters to me in that state of being, being that at all. And you can tune into a moment when you recognize that. And if you. This is your moment, bite you in a subtle way to acknowledge your state of being, that you were what matters to you in that moment.

Yeah, I had a thought on this, and it kind of bridges to another topic, another point we were going to make. We were talking about it going away or like. Like, people are. Like, they hadn't thought of good feelings being transitory. So if you. If you just to make an analogy, it's not actual, like, we have to breathe in and out. If we consider out breath negative and in breath positive. It's kind of like we think we want to get rid of the negative emotions. So we're trying to not. We're trying to breathe out a lot. And we want to hold on to the positive emotions. So we're kind of like trying to hold our breath at the same time. No Emotions are moving pretty very well. And I think that there is. Society teaches us if we watch tv, media, oh, we're supposed to be happy and feel really good all the time. We're supposed to be selling Facebook. People feel depressed because everyone's putting usually their best lives and celebrating and they're not sharing the down moments. So, like, there's kind of a, like, wow, my life sucks. I'm not sitting in Cabo on the beach this week in Alaska. Cruise next week in books, bestselling book. And so like, our brains think we're supposed to feel really, really good all the time versus, you know, holding our breath doesn't feel very good. And we're not allowing the energy to flow in and out. We're not allowing ourselves to experience these. I love the. There's a metaphor. This king had put out this proclamation. He said, I'll give my daughter in marriage, or my king, half my kingdom or whatever. For anyone who can help me feel humble when I feel really good and who can soothe me when I feel really bad. And you know, the traditional three yoke prince comes up and offers this thing that doesn't work. Some wizard comes up and offers something that doesn't work. And this poor farmer comes up and he offers. He hands him this ring. And on the ring is written, this too shall pass. So whether I'm celebrating or I'm having bad times, this too shall pass works. And it's like, it keeps you humble when you're like, whoa, I won the Nobel Prize five times today, or, wow, life. You know, like, I got mud all over me and fell face first in front of the person I most want to impress. I do think that that's. I think it's an important point to make around good feelings because otherwise we're trying to hold on to them, we're trying to keep them. And. And sometimes we don't celebrate because we know that if we celebrate the feeling.

This too shall pass.

Yeah, this too shall pass. So do you have some tapping you want to do? And it looked like you had some face of tapping.

Well, I was just tuning in. My focus was on eagerness.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm noticing that be I. I was making it a habit to celebrate when I used. When I was able to tap into something that was eagerness, whereas my default would have been something different. That didn't matter to me. So like, when my boy comes home from his dad's, I. I noticed that if I'm aware of being eager, it doesn't mean like, hey, buddy, welcome. It's like I'm present. You know, there's a. There's a. And I was. I do think we acclimate. And I'm. I'm tuning to the fact that the first time I did that, it felt like a huge win. Like, oh, I got it. When I dropped him off at his dad's today, I was. I expressed just the. The softest. I'm looking forward to picking you up on Friday. Not a big deal, but just like, I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday. I hope you have a great time.

And.

And it felt like now, now looking back on it, I'm celebrating, like, yeah, that's. That's other. Another piece of eagerness. Right. Is. Is. But now that I've. I've even told everyone, there's like, oh, it's complete. And I believe that, you know, you brought up something that I. I was not expecting. I'm feeling the. The tension and incompleteness of not acknowledging at the end of my day if I'm tired. But I don't stop and acknowledge who I've been during the day. I don't. I'm sensing right now, I don't feel like I. I've completed the day and there's a tension until, like, the next morning, I'm. I'm seeing a pattern of, like, the next morning during my meditation. There's a sense of needing to complete yesterday. And so as we bring this group, you know, this particular focused period, I would love to hear in the chat, what was your focus and what would you like to be celebrated for? If you want to raise your hand, you know the guidelines there, feel free to do that.

I'd love to do a little focusing on that as we go forward with that. If you'd like to. If you're in a safe place to do so, close your eyes and take a gentle, deep breath and just let yourself feel your butt in the chair, your feet on the floor, and then if it feels okay with your next breath, remember how. Where you were in the beginning of January. What were you. You know, try to think of a date or something that you were feeling and experiencing. And you. You don't have to do any of these things if you don't want, but just if I think it can be helpful, like back in January, where was I at? And I went through this. I showed up for however many sessions with this. I tapped on this. I kind of noticed my brain thinking of this. We invite you to look for the subtle changes, the subtle shifts and trends. Maybe you had something dramatic, and we're glad to celebrate that. But I think the more sustaining changes are often more subtle. They're more quiet. Like Rick's, for example, with the quiet eagerness. He didn't have to be jumping up and down and shaking the kid and running around the car screaming, I can't wait to see you. He just could express it to Emerald, and I think that's lovely. And I know Emerald probably really appreciated it. Where had he noticed subtle changes? Subtle chin? Where? Oh, I would normally have done this, but I was going to be courageous, so I was going to. You know, I faced it. I took care of. I noticed that last night. It was kind of dark and cold outside last night, and the trash cans were still out. And I was like, I could do it tomorrow, but I'd feel better if I did it tonight. And part of my thing is courage. So, like, oh, let's do it right now. And I felt so good afterwards. Like, it just, like, felt such relief. It's a small thing, but as you're thinking about what you want to write or raise your hand with or celebrate for yourself, I invite you just to tune into the subtle little things and little trends you're noticing in your life, and then just take a deep breath and you can come back as you feel fit. But just noticing that contrast of three months from three months ago. Where was I? What was I feeling? And doing versus now, I think can be a good way to notice the change. We tend not to when we make really profound changes, especially with tapping. Sometimes they feel so natural. I still remember when I was very, very first learning tapping. They were showing this person who was so afraid of snakes, like, terrified out of her mind about snakes. You said the word snake. She screamed and jumped on a chair, and they did tapping with her. And then after a little while, they brought a snake in a cage in the other end of the room. She was terrified, and she kept bringing it closer. And in the end, she's holding a snake, and they're like, you were really scared of snakes. Like, oh, I was never that scared. It's called the apex effect. And they showed her the video, and she's like, wow, I guess I really was. So, like, we don't always notice how profound the changes are unless we do a quick, direct, mindful comparison. So I see we have hand raised. Do you want to start?

Why don't you start? I think that'd be great.

All right. Noreen, I'm drawn to you.

Hi. Thank you. Well, I've been focusing on Wise fearlessness. And three months ago, you know, the last three months up until now have I've been sick, I've gotten better.

I have had.

Mount up and down things with my relationship with my family.

Here and.

I found out my, my brother passed and. And yet I'm really kind of celebrating that with all these things kind of all happening at once, I'm. I'm getting through it all.

I love that.

Yeah. I'm doing it. It's huge being it. I'm being like.

When there are.

Events that happen within my family and everybody is going nuts, you know, I realize I've been able to be calmer and more clearly see what's going on and you know, go from there. Offer if asked what.

You know, what a huge shift. Like just even a little bit calmer, a little bit of huh, this, you know, look at the money that offers them a chance to step out. There's a role model, there's someone to co regulate with. There's different perspectives than they might have otherwise. What a beautiful gift to give to yourself and to your family.

And I realize it is. There's no one big thing. It's little subtleties. Yeah.

So I love the subtle things can make a huge difference. One of Rick's favorite analogies is if I'm flying from New York to LA and I don't want to go to LA, if I change the trajectory of my flight even 1% 1 degree, I'm ending up someplace very, very different. Like it doesn't have to be like a huge difference here, but over time it starts. We end up in a very, very different place.

Yeah.

So.

And I'm, I'm truly feeling all of that.

Thank you so much for sharing. Is there anything else you want to say about that or anything you want to tap on?

Well, we, I wouldn't mind tapping on, continuing the, you know, kind of continuing in that. In that vein.

Yeah. Karate chop. Even though I've made some good progress.

Even though I've made some good progress.

And I'm noticing some profound and quiet trends.

And I am noticing some quiet and profound trends.

I'd really like some more, please.

I would love some more, please.

Even though this feels really good.

Even though it feels really good.

And I'm proud of myself.

And I am proud of myself.

I'm even celebrating.

I'm even celebrating.

I would like this to strengthen and grow.

I would like this to strengthen and grow.

I'm ready to be even wiser, fearlessness, fearless.

And I'm ready for even wiser, fearlessness thank you.

Your grammar is much better than mine. Top of the head. I did grow a lot.

I did grow a lot.

Eyebrow. I built up the muscles for growing.

I built up the muscles for growing.

Side of the eye. And I would like this to continue.

And I would like this to continue under the eye.

I ask the universe and my body.

I ask the universe and my body.

Under the nose of my heart and.

Brain My heart and my brain chin.

To please help me continue to grow.

This to please help me to continue to grow this collarbone.

Not only does it feel good not.

Only does it feel good under the.

I mean, helps me be there for other people in a different way.

It helps me be there for people in a different way.

Way. Top of the head. It even helps me be there for me in a different way.

And it really helps me be there for me in a different way.

Please send more.

Please send more.

And just take a deep breath.

Please accept.

Yeah, just nice, deep breath. Yeah. That was beautiful.

Oh, thank you so much.

Yeah. So I so appreciate you bringing it forward and sharing that, Noreen. And it's. I think if you look like what you first said was, it wasn't a perfect time. There were struggles and. But I still had this. So, like, we get to have both. It doesn't have to be Nobel prizes. It can be. Huh. They freaked out, and I stayed, you know, I stayed calm and was there when they wanted to come back, and I was, you know, okay about it. That's heat. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you.

Go ahead and mute you, Rick.

There you go. Hi.

I'm still dwelling on this idea of positive emotions stagnating because it's. It's almost kind of counterintuitive. When we think of something like sadness stagnating, it becomes depression or fear stagnating, it becomes anxiety. Well, what happens when, say, happiness or joy stagnates and we don't allow it to. To move? And I'm curious about that. And my guess is it becomes perhaps, like, when.

When I feel it in your body? Well.

I think it's more observing others and making sort of guesses and predictions, because we've probably all met people who always are in a celebratory mood, and that comes off kind of manic.

Which.

Seems to have a lot of movement to it, but the emotion itself is stagnant. Does that make sense? I don't know. I'm kind of thinking this through out loud as we go here, because if we can. Hold on. I mean, what. I guess the question Is that I'm trying to unpack.

If we.

It's easy to see what happens when negative emotions become stagnant, but what happens when those positive emotions don't flow through us and they become stagnant.

What's something that you feel like you could move more energy around in your life, appreciation wise, for example.

Oh, okay.

Feels a little constipated, Stagnant, unexpressed.

Yeah. Well, okay. There's probably lots of things I'll take. Yeah. Thanks for bringing that up.

It's my job to help us feel uncomfortable.

Well, okay. So what's alive with me currently is the guitars that I've been working in collaboration with the first nations woman painting them. She has a rather large exhibition coming up and some of our guitars are featured. And an exhibition, of course, is a kind of celebration of her and our collaboration is one. One part of it. But there's part.

Where's. Where's the part? Yeah.

Was the part of me that I'm. I'm appreciative to a limited degree because I look at the guitars and there's that thing.

Yeah.

But they could be better, you know?

Uhhuh. Yeah.

I can't fully celebrate it.

What. What if I let go of the story that they could be better?

What if I let go of the story could be better? Well, then I'd be.

I made this possible.

Yeah. I mean, I help to make this possible.

Yeah. Without me, these don't exist.

Without me, these don't exist.

Ah, I appreciate the. What are some of the emotions that matter to you that you put into them? If you were to. If I were to look beyond the paint and everything and I saw the emotions that you put in. The energetic states of things that matter to you that are in. They're imbued with.

Well, I don't know.

Well, caring and craftsmanship and when you're being crafty.

Detail.

Okay. What state of being do you fall into when you're really being attention to detail because it matters to you.

What state of being.

You're doing something that matters. What's the state of being?

Well, very focused, alert. Usually. Well, calm times. You know, sometimes frustrated.

Yeah.

All of that stuff.

I'm bringing who I am to my work.

Frustration is something that I have trouble letting flow. Want to hold that to that.

Yeah, Yeah. I appreciate the frustration right now because the work matters to me. Yeah. I wouldn't be frustrated if I didn't give a.

Absolutely.

What are you noticing in your body.

While I'm imagining the exhibition is what I'm Sort of seeing and I'm feeling. Feeling.

Yeah.

A degree of appreciation and an accomplishment that seems, that seems reasonable and deserved.

I believe there's growth for us when we, when we look at the filters like deserved and consider that there's a level of celebration and appreciation for self and co creating and what we make possible that doesn't necessarily have to land in a place of achievement. You have a very concrete achievement. It's going to be an exhibition and there are probably some really maybe 100, 500 profoundly beautiful moments where you brought something that mattered to you, that was what it needed. It needed your presence. Maybe it needed your frustration. Maybe it needed, you know, your, your sensuality as you rubbed it and you felt like this is not quite where it needs to be. Like there's sensitivity of, of senses, visual, the kind of way that you were with it. And I, I believe that, you know, when I, when I tap with a mom who doesn't feel like they, they're a good mom, there's usually a whole bunch of like examples. But if you drop into. Were you at all present with your child's pain for five seconds in a meaningful way, that matters to you. Oh yeah, a lot more. Oh, you know, we. I want to normalize and a cycle, a virtuous cycle I believe of strengthening ourselves through self recognition of not just the doing, which I think is great. Like I want to do work that matters. This first segment of our exploration to me is focused on anytime you are being what matters to you. That is enough cause for celebration because those of us that have, are setting an intention to be a certain way, even if it is definitely not. Like I, if eager is, is sort of a peak experience for me. If I'm eager a couple times a day, that's a big deal for me.

I have, I have this thing where I'm. That I'm quite alert to in others and I would guess in myself as well. Like there's one friend I'm thinking of who if we're using the term celebrate, kind of over celebrates himself and has created a personal mythology that just doesn't hold up to reality.

Yeah, that's not, that's not my way. Yes, that's not my way. It wouldn't be authentic for me.

It would not be authentic.

My whole system doesn't work that way.

My whole system does.

And I'm inviting my being to differentiate.

Inviting my being to differentiate.

My celebration may be so subtle no one even knows it's happening.

And that.

You know, like I believe that if we start a lot of times, you know, celebration is sort of this. This connection with others and party and group. It almost feels like there's not even like, celebration is. I. I've argued around, like, calling this workshop celebrating and strengthening yourself is. It's been an edge for me because I have had to look at the same thing, just like eagerness. I had to look at what I found objectionable about eagerness, and I've had to look at what I find objectionable about celebration in order for me to kind of land on, you know, if I am acknowledging my state of being, that matters to me, that I touched on and I brought forth into the world for me, and yes, sometimes for people I share the space with, that's a celebration. I could give myself a thumbs up, I could give myself a pat on the back. I could give myself a little gold star in heaven. Nobody else has to know. That is the first step for me of feeling more free to celebrate. And Kathy and I have a thing where, hey, would it be okay if I celebrated? We actually asked consent for celebration because sometimes people aren't in the mood to celebrate. But it's really sweet when, yeah, you get that back. And, you know, emotional freedom to me includes the capacity to be aware of and accept and acknowledge and even, yeah, celebrate who we are, what we're cultivating, and how that then flows into our work. You know, we have work that we. We've infused with something, however imperfectly, in the physical realm. But there's a lot of us that goes into the things that we do, conscious or otherwise.

Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you, Glenn.

Yeah, thank you.

Kathy.

I forgot I've muted myself.

Yeah.

Yeah. I just. I think it's really. I love the fact that people step forward to share because I think that we forget we see other people celebrating or we see TV or whatever. It seems like it's so easy to celebrate when it's actually a skill allowing and building the muscles of celebration and feeling appreciation. Ever since I've learned about, like, how I. I would do this with people, I would feel appreciation, but I wouldn't fully express it. And I would start making them perfect, and then I don't have an intimate relationship with them. I have a relationship with me and the ideal I have of that other person versus me and the actual person I'm with. And I don't want to do that. I want to be vulnerable and authentic with people. I want to be real with them. So I've been trying to practice sharing the appreciations, and I do a Lot of radical honesty, which. Some parts of me. So I love some parts and don't love other parts. But the person, the coach I was working with was like, I encourage you to go up to someone and say, you know, I'm killing a lot of appreciation. Can I just gush at you for a little while? Can I? You know, just like I loved when you did that and you took. You did this and you smiled at me and I just felt so warm and like just being. Not just mindlessly, but consciously feeling those things and being with someone. I don't think we do that very much in our society. Like, there's a lot of top down, top dog, bottom dog, where it's like, if I appreciate you too much, I'm lowering myself versus I'm gonna stand in my appreciation and I'm gonna express what I'm feeling and feel what I'm feeling so I can get over it. So I can just be real with you now. And doesn't mean that I didn't. Don't still remember that I appreciated you. But I don't have to be stuck in the feelings I was having. I don't wanna have stale feelings. I wanna have real feelings now. So I, I just think it's the fact that Noreen Glenn stepped forward and shared that. I think it helps sometimes for me to like, oh, yeah, I'm not the only one who struggles with this. That celebrating is just as hard as learning to grieve or learn to be angry or learn because so many of us have been repressed and held back with this. So I just, I just really. I want to appreciate you both for stepping forward and sharing that and for modeling.

Thank you. I'm feeling drawn to bring us to a close rather than take a break. Does that feel good to you?

Yeah. Please speak up of how are people feel.

Yeah, I am. I am profoundly grateful for those of you who have been a part of this series. I did it for me and we. I like that model. It's one where I have taken so much from the wisdom and sharing and getting the privilege to help facilitate this. Thank you, Kathy, so much. There's a. One of my. I don't know how to share this. I'm eager to share it and I'm. I picture my, My. My young teenage self eager in so many ways and looking outside of himself for affirmation of that his eagerness was welcome, that it was in the right context and a whole bunch of other externally referenced for the. To use the technical term. I have noticed that in My spiritual connection, that there's a kind of acknowledgement and, yes, celebration of who I am, including and even sometimes particularly my attempts to be what matters to me, even if I don't come through that. In the quiet morning hours, during meditation, during prayer, however my spiritual life weaves around, there's an acknowledgement of my beingness. And I share that. Because if you too sometimes are looking for that acknowledgment of who you are predominantly or exclusively from other people, I believe that you could feel it from our circle. You can feel it from Kathy and I. We do. I so appreciate the people who are directly and extended out from us for the hearty courage and the fearlessness and the desire to feel peaceful amidst turmoil. Like I get spiritually giddy over someone who is navigating difficult things and yet also notices a beautiful moment that crosses their way or that they actively go out and seek that despite health challenges and financial challenges and everything else. Like, those things are more the noise. And for me, that's the emotional world. There's an accessibility to an affirmation, a confirmation that what you matters to, that which put this whole thing together, whatever name and experience you have of that, you're invited to reach for that, ask for it, and thank you. Anything else, Kathy? As we close for this, I just.

Want to celebrate you all for building your celebration muscles. Woohoo. Good job. Let's celebrate. Like, if you can let a little of that in. And if you notice some resistance, maybe I'm too enthusiastic for you or you do it perfectly. Just notice that because it's interesting.

Made me blush.

Well, rock, remember what you're learning here. You embody and carry out in the world. And even if people get a little flavor of it, it teaches them possible for them too. You are walking beacons of hope. And I celebrate the hell out of all of you. Yeah, thanks very much.

Love, love. Bye. Thank you.