08 - Family Shackles Part 3 Dad
This is a YouTube video titled "08 - Family Shackles Part 3 Dad" created in April 2014, featuring a guided emotional tapping session led by Rick Wilkes and another speaker. The content involves a therapeutic conversation exploring personal and familial dynamics around money, particularly focusing on the relationship with the father and inherited attitudes toward money and power. The dialogue includes reflective and healing exercises aimed at releasing negative patterns and reshaping one's relationship with money and authority figures.
Dad.
Oops.
The energy of our father is often different than the energy of our mother. And Kathy and I both know that sometimes it fits a cultural stereotype and many times it doesn't. People are complex and I believe that we honor ourselves and the half of the genetic material that we have and the presence of the people that raised us by looking at them as an individual in the dynamic. So when you think about your father and money, what's the look on his face? What is the energy that he radiates around money? And it could be one predominant thing, it could also be a whole slew of stuff. For my father, there was a generosity that would come out at times, so money and love. He would see us every other weekend and I remember him handing us our allowance and sometimes a little bit more. And I remember the energy that he had. And sometimes it was just I felt really like he was sharing with me. Great. But there was this other energy, particularly in relationship to my mother, which was the money that he had represented a certain power. And I'm quite aware now, and I can feel it resonate inside of me that when I was growing up, there was this power differential between my mother, who was a private school teacher, separated from my father, divorced from my father, and my father, who was a high power DC attorney. And that that differential was used in insidious ways. And, and I can, even after all the tapping, I still feel the discomfort when I tune into that. And this is, I'm sharing this story because when we look at and feel for what is the dynamic, and that can come through a facial expression, it can come through a word, something that was habitually said. How safe do you feel in relationship to money with your father? Is it okay to ask for things or is that what's going to happen to you?
Is there an obligation with money?
So it is for each individual different. And I've noticed that my awareness, as I've tapped and tapped and tapped on various things, my awareness of my father's energy has gone deeper. And that's good news for those of us that have been on this journey for a while. And I know that many of you have take a moment right now and just see what's coming up for you right now. It may be an old thing when it comes to shackles, sometimes the most potent experience. Even if it doesn't, if it's no longer a trauma, it's still representative of the story that your brain picked up on around money. Where do you feel that shackle, that reaction in your body? How Old do you feel now? That's an interesting question that allows you to tune into. At what point did the shackle come on or really become. You become quite aware of it because, like I can feel that transition period between 4 and 5, the power over became very big. It was a big part of my mother's life and my father's attitude and energy around money was very active in that way. And the shackle became. I never want to follow in my father's footsteps. Remember that shackles can be that we're dragged along with our truth. Like we have to use power over other people because that's what our tribe does. Or we reject it completely or we push against it. Now in this case, I've been pushing against that all my life and I'm not pushing against it now. I want to engage with the energy and be really solid.
And that's really important because when we reject something like that, we typically throw the baby away with the bath water.
We do.
We, we reject not just using money in a way to control other people, but we reject money or reject other. We mix other things in there and we're throwing. Anytime we're pushing, we're using up a lot of energy and we're usually pushing away parts of us that we really want to embrace.
You do this so beautifully. Would you lead the inner tapping like you did for mom with our inner child or dad? How safe do you feel in your body? Where do you. If a shackle was somewhere inside you, on you? It's interesting. You can feel them in multiple places. That's okay, too.
And you can play this back over again. Just take, you know, just replay the recorded part of the, of the tapping and go through it with different parts of you, different ages, different experiences. And you can change the words as you like. Just know that we're with you and we're sending you energy to help you clear this. So take a nice deep breath and tune into where you see that younger self looking at his or her dad and just going, wow, that's really scary, or I don't want that at all. And we're going to go in this case with rejecting because it's a lot of what people do. They either get caught up in the fear and the trauma, which we did some around the tapping with mom, but we can also say, I will never be like that. But as a little kid, you don't have the experience and you're often in primitive brain so it doesn't have the ability to distinguish the parts. You really don't want the parts you're saying no to from the parts that really are necessary for life.
That's right.
So take a nice, deep breath and tap very gently in your mind on the younger self while you tap on yourself. Now. Karate chop. Hey, sweetheart.
Hey, sweetheart.
I love your vision.
I love your vision.
I get that this was a no.
For you, I really get that this was a no for you.
And it was smart to reject it.
And it was so smart to reject it.
You have so much integrity.
You have so much integrity.
I adore you.
I adore you.
And I love how much energy you.
Put into this and I love how much energy you put into it, even.
When it was really hard.
Even when it was really hard.
Top of the head. I have good news for you.
I have good news for you, eyebrows.
Some of the stuff you threw away.
Some of the stuff you threw away.
Side of the eye, you don't have to push against anymore.
You don't have to push against anymore.
Under the eye. You can use some of those skills.
He had you can use some of those skills he had under the nose.
Some of the abilities he had.
Yeah, some of the abilities he had.
Chin in a different way.
In a different way.
Collarbone. Just like a spoon can be used.
To hit somebody just like a spoon can be used to whack somebody under the arm.
Or feed them ice cream.
Or feed them ice cream.
Top of the head, you get to use these in a different way.
You get to use these in a different way.
Eyebrow. Money is not bad.
Money's not bad.
Side of the eye, it's okay to have money.
It is very okay to have money under the eye.
It's okay to have power, too.
And it is okay to have power under the nose.
You just get to respect other people's boundaries.
You do get to respect other people's boundaries.
And you get to co create with them.
And you get to co create with them.
Not dictate to them.
Not dictate to them.
Under the arm. And I'm really, really proud of you.
And I'm really, really proud of you.
Top of the head. And I can't wait to see what we create together.
And I can't wait to see what we create together.
Take a nice deep breath and imagine that younger self as, you know, like, tune in, see how they're feeling. You may want to tap a couple more times with them. But if that little one is feeling more like that makes sense. Let's have him go over and tap on the dad.
Yes. And I want to come Back to the power over in this tapping because it is so predominant in our society. And honestly it was big in my life. My dad's father was even worse about using his financial power to control even where my dad went to college, what choice he made. My dad had evolved that some, but when I was very young, he hadn't really gotten to that point place where he was willing to relinquish some of the power over as a way of saying, yes, I'm the man, I'm in charge, I get to decide because I know what's best. Father Knows Best was still a TV.
Show and that's a huge shackle that our parents were often caught up in.
That's right. And that can affect both women who there's part of their conditioning is that hey, a man knows best or if they pushed against it, a man doesn't know shit.
Versus this human being has some really wise things and he can sometimes, sometimes make mistakes. And this human being can come up with some things that are pretty good and makes mistakes. And all humans are a mixture.
Right. And so this kind of core tapping we can always return to as a way of freeing up our energy and helping it transform and feeling better in our body. So power over a male form, a male authority, and a father is by definition an authority over a child, just like a mother is. But some of them wield it differently. How was money as authority wielded over you? And your other. Your father issues may be completely different, but if so, write those down and tap with us. Borrow benefits on this one and see if yours shifts. That's one of the magical things about tapping. You can tune into different aspects of, of your relationship with your father's energy around money.
If you're not familiar with borrowing benefits, what you do is you write down the topic that you'd like. The very specific incident, the time when blah, blah, blah happened. You write that down and you're going to leave that in your mind somewhere focused. But you're going to tap along with us and use the words we're using and just let your subconscious take care of clearing what you need to. Okay, Nice deep breath.
So I've got a picture of dad and he's frozen.
We've frozen him with the TV remote so he can't say what the hell are you doing this stupid stuff or whatever it is.
He just, he's just don't talk about emotions.
Yeah. And imagine. You can imagine you're tapping on him or your younger self. I love having the younger self tap.
Because I've got both of us. Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah. I've got my little one in my arms. And that way it feels safer and more grounding for me.
Having the younger self tap is a good way to empower them when it feels right. And if it doesn't feel safe, do not make them. Just invite them. All right? So take another nice, deep breath and imagine that little one. Or you are tapping on your dad as you tap on yourself. Karate. Tap. Hey, dad.
Hey, dad.
We never really talked about this.
We never really talked about this.
Occasionally we screamed about it.
Occasionally we screamed about it.
But we never really saw each other.
We really never saw each other.
I'm sorry you were stuck with that shackle.
I am so sorry you were stuck with that shackle.
I wonder if you were pretty afraid, too.
I wonder if you were pretty afraid, too.
People that are afraid try to control. Yeah.
People who are afraid are desperate to control.
Yeah. And I know that you meant well.
And I know that you meant well.
You were trying to make the world turn out to be a good place.
You were trying to make the world turn out to be a good place.
Some of your shackles got in the way.
Some of your shackles got in the way.
And I have really good news for you.
And I have really good news for you, dad.
You don't have to control other people.
You do not have to control other people.
You can let them explain and expand.
You can let them explore and expand.
You get to choose how you spend some money.
You get to choose how you spend some money.
But you don't have to control other people.
You don't have to control and manipulate other people.
Top of the head. Choice is wonderful.
Choice is wonderful.
Eyebrow. And I know you meant to do the right thing.
And I know you meant to do the right thing.
Side of the eye. You tried really hard.
You tried really hard.
Under the eye. I do appreciate that.
I do appreciate that.
Under the nose. I don't ever want to control that way.
I do not ever want to control that way.
Tin. And I send you love and appreciation.
And I send you love and appreciation.
Collarbone. You don't have to control anybody that way.
You don't have to control anyone that way.
Under the arm. The universe loves us all.
The universe loves us all.
Top of the head. And it's gonna turn out all right.
And it's going to turn out all right.
Take a nice deep breath and notice what you're feeling. Rick talked about mirror neurons earlier. Those mirror neurons mean that we can learn from other people's experiences. We don't actually have to cut carrots to learn how to cut carrots. Our mirror neurons mimic what's happening, and our muscles and our nerves actually will start figuring it out. We watched our parents and we saw our mirror neurons picked up some of that information. We have that energy in our system. So releasing that with love is very powerful. You don't need to carry that around. You don't need to fight against it. You can say, wow, I realize it's not for me, and just let it go.
Let's do another tapping. Pick some attitude that your father had about money. Okay, could be, what do you think money grows on Trees. Right? Or it could be something more, like around selfishness. You need to earn it. Deserve. Could be that your father was absolute disaster with money, Gambled it away, drank it away, caroused it away. It could be that you saw your father go after his dreams and fail, and that still, that memory of that dynamic is a shackle for you. Write that down and feel again. We have stories, but our stories, like, if I listen to someone talking about their father, what's interesting is that some people talk about their stories and it's all up here. It's not down in here. It's not in your core. Because so much of those old stories are uncomfortable. And I can talk about my father now because of tapping and the work that I've been doing. I can talk about my father in a very different way than I could before. I can feel my toes when I talk about my dad. And that's a good thing. And that's what we want, is to be able to honor the truth about our story. So let's assume for a moment that your father had some really lost qualities around money. He was really quite lost and didn't know how to handle it.
He was pretty lost around money. Yeah.
Okay. And that could be really dramatic for you. It could just be uncomfortable. And let's tap for yourself. Great job. Even though my father had certain attitudes.
About money, Even though my father had.
Certain attitudes about money, and I may have inherited them.
And I may have inherited them.
The shackles are passed down from father to family.
The shackles are passed down from father to family.
I'm in the process of letting those go.
I am in the process of letting those go.
Top of that. He was really lost.
He was really lost.
He didn't know how to be happy, healthy around money.
He didn't know how to be happy, healthy around money.
It was such a responsibility.
It was such a responsibility.
He was not that good at it.
He was not that good at it.
He was so lost.
He was so lost.
He was so lost.
He was so lost.
It made me lost.
It made me lost.
It really added a lot of confusion.
It really added a lot of confusion.
My father's not my teacher around money.
My father's not my teacher around money.
Eyebrow. Hey, primitive brain.
Hey, primitive brain.
He taught us about money.
He taught us about money.
And we can ignore those lessons for the most part.
We can ignore many of those lessons.
It's okay to find a new teacher around money.
It's okay to find a new teacher around money.
And my own clarity and my own clarity and my own healthy balance.
And my own healthy balance.
I don't have to do it their.
Way I don't have to do it.
Their way to still be a good person.
To still be a good person. Nice deep breath. That felt good. So take another nice deep breath. And we realize that this is a complex issue, but notice the little, like, if you're feeling a little bit lighter or a little bit like my brain, you're considering, realize that's a whole layer you've probably cleared away and you've started to shift your trajectory. A little bit of a change in trajectory now will add up to a huge combination at the end of your life. So if you're off, say if you're walking from New York to San Francisco and you're off by one degree, you might end up in Portland or San Diego. So by changing your trajectory now, each day of your life, that small change will be there and you can add in more changes so you can end up in a very different destination than you thought you were going to end up in. You're doing fantastic. We're going to start another video in just a minute talking about conflict around money, because that's a huge issue. And clearing that can make a huge difference too. So keep up the great work.
