How Can Being With Your Feelings Help?
This is a YouTube video titled "How Can Being With Your Feelings Help?" featuring a conversation primarily between two speakers, Judy and Karen, discussing emotional processing, the importance of being present with difficult feelings like anger and grief, and strategies for emotional support and grounding. The content focuses on mental health and emotional well-being, encouraging listeners to develop emotional resilience and seek supportive relationships. The video was created in July 2017 and emphasizes building an emotional ecosystem and healthy emotional expression.
And when you take that feeling, that.
Situation, wanting to kill everybody is not good.
No. And yet that intensity will, as Kathy said, it's got a natural expression and.
Unwinding, and it feels like they will never end.
Yeah.
And the truth is, most people can't sustain that level of emotion very long. So if we just are with them in the intense and horrible as they feel, as much as we want to push them away, sometimes just being with them and being present, opening ourselves to them, can help them pass much more quickly. It's the resistance that makes them persist.
And for many people, the idea of being with an emotion like anger or a sense of deep frustration or disappointment can feel really big. And that's really useful information. What are the emotions that you don't allow yourself to feel? And even just setting a little countdown timer for 30 seconds or 3 minutes or 20 with some paper and your body and allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling. We know that emotional freedom cannot be found by having big swaths of your rainbow of emotions that you're not allowed to feel or that feel just so scary. And that's why, for me, I'd never seen anger really processed in a healthy way. And the idea of beating up pillows and stuff, that didn't work for me. It felt like that wasn't where I wanted to be. But allowing myself to write angry and to be tapping on my collarbone points or my body while I did it.
It can help that process through the tapping while you're feeling.
Yes.
But it's just being with. It's not trying to push it away or try to rush it through. Because when you do that, we tend to. Humans are really good at pushing things away. Just if you can just be in the feeling. It's not like I am trying to make this something else. It's like I am angry. I am angry. Oh, my God, am I angry. I feel it burning in my stomach.
I feel it in my. In my joints of my arthritic hands. I feel it in my bowels. I feel like running. I feel like hiding.
Angry. Oh, my God, am I angry. I feel it burning in my stomach.
I feel it in my joints of my arthritic hands. I feel it in my bowels. I feel like running. I feel like hiding. In one of the grounding exercises, we talked about putting it in a box. And when you take that feeling, that situation out of the box, there was probably a reason why it needed to go in the box. Probably an emotion that at that moment wasn't one that you could Be with.
In the middle of a meeting, feeling intense anger and wanting to kill everybody is not good.
No. And yet that intensity will. As Cathy said, it's got a natural expression and unwinding. I believe in learning how to process emotions in a really healthy way. One that doesn't destroy my body or my hormonal balance or my energy, doesn't destroy my home or other relationships.
No harm to self or others.
Finding people that have the savvy to be able to be present with your emotions is also a part of it.
Yeah, I know when I first I hadn't cried for a decade or more, and I was afraid that if I started crying, I was terrified I would never stop again. And it really helped to have a really strong, supportive person there. So if you need a. If you need help with some of these intense emotions. Emotions, if it's hard for you just to access them, find a coach or a therapist or a counselor of some kind that can be there to support you.
Yeah. And so, just to reiterate, all feelings are a part of our vast range of color and sound. And regardless of what you've heard before, there's nothing unnatural about anger, grief, despair, or bliss or ecstasy. They're a part of your system. And the more that we get comfortable with being able to be present and allow them to move, grief can move toward peace. Not if we are always pushing it away and having witness by another person who can be with. And I want to honor the fact that not everyone can be with grief, just like not everyone can be with anger and not everyone can be with disappointment. People's capacity. It's like some people love going swimming in the middle of the winter and break the ice. And there are people that emotionally have that same kind of solid capacity. And some people don't. And you probably know some people that do. And you definitely. We all know people that don't.
And different times we have more or less. I know if I'm super tired or I've been, like, really pushing myself or I'm hungry, I don't have the same level to be as present with myself or someone else as if I've had some rest and I've had some, you know, like, some touch and feel like, really charged up and so realize that everybody's levels fluctuate. Checking in. Hey, do you have time to listen? I'm feeling a lot of anger right now, and I could use someone to be there for me for about a half hour, an hour while I just felt those feelings.
Could we start in 10 minutes. I need to get a little food for myself and maybe nest a little bit for us to sit. If we're gonna sit for half hour.
That would be wonderful.
And just get my phone off and just be present for you.
Yeah. So you might want to do some of those other grounding exercises. But we also do encourage people and we have a PDF that we can't. You can get for free about different grounding exercises. We recommend having a couple people that you have on a list to either email or call and just write them on that PDF. Because when we're triggered, we don't always remember either to call or. For years I had it just taped in a couple places in my house with some numbers and like call Judy or call Karen or call Rick and. Because when I'm triggered, I don't always remember to do that.
That's right. And I believe that we're at a place where this kind of being there for one another is something that we've fallen away from.
Ecosystem.
We're building that emotional ecosystem again. We're learning how to be present. We're learning language when we're in need of witnessing. That might say something like, yeah, I've got these emotions coming up. I just need someone to witness them. I don't feel like I need to fix it. I just. If someone's there to hold my hand or would you be open? Would that be a yes for you sometime in the next two hours to do that with me? That's the kind of language I ecosystem again. We're learning how to be present. We're learning language when we're in need of witnessing. That might say something like, yeah, I've got these emotions coming up. I just need someone to witness them. I don't feel like I need to fix it. I just. If someone's there to hold my hand, would you be open? Would that be a yes for you sometime in the next two hours to do that with me? That's the kind of language I certainly never heard anyone say anything like that when I was growing up. And now that. Thank you for listening. Those may not be your words, they may not be what comes out of your mouth, but thank you for being a part of a movement toward more emotional freedom and well being.
Yeah. And if you're asking someone to be there, you can be specific like, hey, I'd really love you to help me problem solve this, or hey, I just need you to listen. I don't.
I believe in learning how to process emotions in a really healthy way. One that doesn't destroy my body or my hormonal balance or my energy doesn't destroy my home or other relationships.
No harm to self or others.
Finding people that have the savvy to be able to be present with your emotions is also a part of it.
Yeah, I know when I first I hadn't cried for a decade or more, and I was afraid that if I started crying, I was terrified I would never stop again. And it really helped to have a really strong, supportive person there. So if you need a. If you need help with some of these intense emotions, if it's hard for you just to access them, find a coach or a therapist or a counselor of some kind that can be there to support you.
Yeah. And so, just to reiterate, all feelings are a part of our vast range of color and sound. And regardless of what you've heard before, there's nothing unnatural about anger, grief, despair, or bliss or ecstasy. They're a part of your system. And the more that we get comfortable with being able to be present and allow them to move, grief can move toward peace. Not if we are always pushing it away and having witness by another person who can be with. And I want to honor the fact that not everyone can be with grief, just like not everyone can be with anger, and not everyone can be with disappointment. People's capacity. It's like some people love going swimming in the middle of the winter and break the ice. And there are people that emotionally have that same kind of solid capacity. And some people don't. And you probably know some people that do. And you definitely. We all know people that don't.
And different times we have more or less. I know if I'm super tired or I've been, like, really pushing myself or I'm hungry, I don't have the same level to be as present with myself or someone else as if I've had some rest and I've had some, you know, like, some touch and feel, like, really charged up and so realize that everybody's levels fluctuate, checking in. Hey, do you have time to listen? I'm feeling a lot of anger right now, and I could use someone to be there for me for about a half hour. An hour while I just felt those feelings.
Could we start in 10 minutes? I need to get a little food for myself and maybe nest a little bit for us to sit. If we're gonna sit for half hour and just get my phone off and just be present for you.
Yeah. So you might want to do some of those other grounding exercises, but we also do encourage people and we have a PDF that we can't. You can get for free about different grounding exercises. We recommend having a couple people that you have on a list to either email or call. Just write them on that PDF. Because when we're triggered, we don't always remember either to call or. For years, I had it just taped in a couple places in my house with some numbers and like call Judy or call Karen or call Rick and. Because when I'm triggered, I don't always remember to do that.
That's right. And I believe that we're at a place where this kind of being there for one another is something that we've fallen away from.
Ecosystem.
We're building that emotional ecosystem again. We're learning how to be present. We're learning language. When we're in need of witnessing, that might say something like, yeah, I've got these emotions coming up. I just need someone to witness them. I don't feel like I need to fix it. I just. If someone's there to hold my hand or would you be open? Would that be a yes for you sometime in the next two hours to do that with me? That's the kind of language. I certainly never heard anyone say anything like that when I was growing up. And now that. Thank you for listening. Those may not be your words, they may not be what comes out of your mouth, but thank you for being a part of a movement toward more emotional freedom and well being.
Yeah. And if you're asking someone to be there, you can be specific, like, hey, I'd really love you to help me problem solve this, or, hey, I just need you to listen. I don't want any advice.
Yeah.
Or I want you to agree that this person's a horrible person, at least for the context of that, just so I can get it out. And then I'd like to problem solve after I've just vented for a little bit bit. So being specific, if you can, can give them guidance. And I and a friend of ours, Alpha Nastas, Reed Mahalko, will say, what do you want me to be for you in this? So if someone says, hey, can you be there? You can say, well, what would you need in that? Do you just want to vent? Do you want some solutions? Do you want, you know, suggestions? What would be good for you? And that's a really good way to guide the process.
And when you're. When you're cultivating this within yourself so that you can be within the emotion, it allows you to be much more resil you go through life. So many of us are lover heart oriented people and when you're empathetic and you feel a lot of feelings, if there are emotions that you just haven't developed the savvy to be able to be with inside of yourself, it means that you'll move away and people get confused by that. We love to help people feel comfortable with the full range of emotions. If there's something that you'd like just a couple of pointers about, please leave a Drop us an email supportrivingnow.com and we'd love to engage. This is our mission. We appreciate you being a part of our world.
Yeah, thanks so much for listening. Leave comments below.
