Sleep Now - 5.4 - I Hate My Alarm
Rick Wilkes guides a tapping exercise to process anger and helplessness around waking to a loud alarm. The session uses dialogue to explore trauma and healing related to sleep disturbances and the stress of sudden waking.
When I used to wake up to that alarm in high school that sounded like if you took the worst smoke alarm that you could ever imagine and the worst alarm that would like wake up a whole fire hall of people to go and put out a five alarm fire, it was that bad. It was one of the early digital alarm clocks and it went. And it was so loud it had one level. There wasn't a volume control on it. And I suspect if you're listening to me right now, you can tell I have not tapped on this. I have never done the work to change my attitude toward that particular alarm. And what's interesting is when you've done a lot of tapping, you can feel how something from your past, a trauma from your past has an influence. And maybe that influence has been magnified over the years. And sometimes it's just like a bad smell. So I can feel that every time something wakes me up, there's a part of me that still resonates with that old alarm. What has woken you up in a way that you just really were terrorized? Just bolted into a state of alertness and painful jar. Exactly. Or where you just wanted to fight. It could be a person like your brother or whatever it is. You may need to do this several times because over the period of our lives our alarms change and what wakes us up. But right now I'm going to be tuning to that with the red monster led. You know that I was across the room. So it was. There was only one plug in the room and that's where it was. It was on the dresser. I could see it. And as I'm feeling toward it, there's a great deal of animosity and activation of disharmony inside my body.
You were doing so much to try to help your family. Like you were getting up early to try to be a good person and help. Like there was a wonderful intention there too behind the jarring ness. But oh, that pain. When you've just been resting deeply to jarred out that way.
Yeah. And so scan your body. I feel it in my jaw. There's this kind of. There's an anger, almost a rage. I'm not going to lose it right now, but I can feel it in my. In my body. What is it for you? Do you feel it? Where? What parts of your body go away? And this is something that we see a lot related to sleep issues, whether they were sleep traumas or the like. Like what part of you is not there? The lower part of my body doesn't feel like it's as present. It's like, all, like, bolting up out of the top of my head. That's the energy of it. You just write some of this down and how intense it feels. So my rage at my clock is about a nine. Okay. And let's do some tapping. And even if you don't really feel your feet that much, pushing them into the ground can remind your neurons that it is time to get into your body. Karate chop. Even though I hate the way that wakes me up.
Even though I hate the way that wakes me up.
And there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
And there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
And that makes me feel so angry.
That makes me feel so angry and so helpless. And so helpless.
I honor and respect these conflicted feelings.
I honor and respect these conflicted feelings.
Even though this thing is supposed to.
Help me, you know, this thing is supposed to help.
It is time to get up.
It is time to get up.
I do want to smash it.
I do want to smash it and.
Get it out of my life forever and ever.
Get it out of my life forever and ever.
And some of that has been carried forward into the rest of my waking hours.
And some of that has been carried forward into the rest of my waking hours.
Top of head. This feeling I have toward that alarm.
This feeling I have toward that alarm.
Eyebrow. This intense feeling I have toward that alarm.
This intense feeling I have towards that alarm.
Side of the eye. All the times it woke me up.
All the times it woke me up.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate my alarm.
I hate my alarm.
Jin. I hate being woken that way.
I hate being woken that way.
And I needed to get up.
And I needed to get up.
Under the arm. I felt so helpless.
I felt so helpless.
That was the way you were supposed to wake up.
That was the way you were supposed to wake up.
And I'm inviting my body to let that go.
And I'm inviting my body to let that go.
It's okay to, like, move your body and shake out your hands. Part of unfreezing. And you'll notice that as I was tapping on it, I was tuning into the helplessness. Helplessness is a freeze response. It's like I don't know what to do. I bought this thing with my own money. It sounds so horrible. I wish it didn't have to go off at this time. I could see it. 7:30. I would often stay up late to work on the computer. I was making money for my College education. And so there's a feeling, the freeze response. And this goes with a lot of things. Whether it's your kids waking you up, your cat waking you up. Helplessness often leads to a sense of rage and anger. From an energy perspective, this is not a problem as long as you're not acting it out. But if you don't let it flow and move in a different, healthier direction, you keep getting pushed back down to that. I can't even say anything. So let's do some more tapping. Even though I don't know what to do about this, even though I don't.
Know what to do about this.
And it makes me want to scream.
And it makes me want to scream, but I can't. But I can't.
I'm inviting my body to let that.
Energy flow I'm inviting my body to.
Let the energy flow in a surprisingly healthy way.
In a surprisingly healthy way.
Top of the head. There wasn't anything I could do about it.
There wasn't anything I could do about it.
Eyebrow. I felt so helpless.
I felt so helpless.
Side of the eye. I wanted to sleep.
I wanted to sleep.
I wanted to sleep.
I wanted to sleep.
And it wouldn't let me.
And it wouldn't let me.
The beast machine.
The beast machine.
And I'm starting to see it differently.
I'm starting to see it differently under the arm.
And I appreciate the way that it's not in my life anymore.
I appreciate the way it's not in my life anymore.
And I'm inviting new options for wakefulness.
I'm inviting new options for wakefulness.
And I love the fact that I often wake up before an alarm.
And I love the fact that I. I'm open to waking up before the alarm. I love that you're looking at this and clearing this. So just like Rick had never thought to look at this. As we go through this and we hear other people's insights, or as Rick and I were planning, this stuff comes up things that we would never have thought of tapping on otherwise. And it's very, very powerful when you clean out those little niggly things. Just like when you finally get around to do the spring cleaning and you feel so good about your house and you're like, oh, it's all nice. As you clear this stuff out, your energy has more room to come up. There's less things holding it down, and you're doing great things for yourself. We're so proud of you. Keep up the great work.
