Sleep Now - 9.1 - Webinar 2015-06-07

Welcome everyone. Today we're talking about the top three unexpected reasons heart centered people aren't sleeping deeply and peacefully. And we're so excited that you're here because a lot of people go their whole lives without looking at this and the fact that you are, that you're looking at this and being conscious about what's blocking you gives you so much power. And it's so delightful to share this time with you as you improve your lives. Hi, I'm Kathy Martulli and I'm here with Rick Lokes from Thriving Now. Hey Rick.

Hi, Kathy. Yeah, I'm excited too because we believe that looking at the energy and the emotions and the biology and the ways that our body, mind reacts in certain situations and bringing some attention, some clarity and some skill to it can make an enormous difference in our life. Thriving now is about doing just that, taking a situation and not putting a lot of fix it energy, but like curiosity and engaging with it and looking for ways to upgrade and refine and reprogram where necessary the patterns that are keeping us from really savoring every aspect of our life. And sleep is one third of the lifetime, right?

Yeah. And when we don't get good sleep, it affects the other two thirds really powerfully. Like can be very negative. I remember mornings when it just hurt to get out of bed. Like the alarm clock was like jarring and my body ached and just felt so heavy. And then going through the day like trying not to nod off as I was driving because I didn't want to hurt anyone or myself or. And being in meetings where it was physically painful, I was digging my nails into my palms to try to stay awake and I, I actually nodded off a couple times and it was so embarrassing because I felt like I couldn't do this basic skill that babies are supposed to be able to sleep. What's your problem? Like I couldn't do something so fundamental. It really hurt my confidence and it made me feel kind of out of control in my life. Once we can get good sleep, our bodies have a chance to renew. Our brain gets to process things. It can be just such a fundamental attribute to have. Like being able to do this well can be so powerful in your lives. We're going to go through the top three unexpected reasons that people that are heart centered, that are very caring, aren't sleeping well. This is an hour call so we're not going to be able to go in depth on any of them. We're going to give you an overview and we're going to give you as many insights as we can fit in the time. But we'll tell you at the end how you can go deeper with us if you'd like. So sit back and if you're ready, let's go to the number three reason. So the number three reason that people don't sleep and this I think affects heart centered people a lot because we have that, you know, caring about other people and we're focused on making the world a better place is lack of self care.

And this is so pervasive that it's. We look at sleep as something that we have to do many times, not something that we really are getting an opportunity to care for ourselves in a way that is helpful. And when it's not working and it's something that we have to do, oftentimes some energies come up and those energies can be related to how we were treated as children. And this is. I know when I first started doing energy work, a part of me really resisted looking at the energies that I was raised in. But the more that we learn about brain research, both Kathy and I are scientists by nature and the more that we look at the patterns that get established very, very early on. Like from the time that we start learning how our parents are sleeping in the womb and every moment forward, we're starting to establish patterns and patterns are really helpful, but they can be carried into our adulthood. Decades later we're being affected by like that energy and attitude. Why don't you just go to sleep?

Well, a tired, frustrated parent, like they've had a long day, maybe things haven't gone well and they don't know how. My parents certainly didn't meditate or do yoga or they didn't. Tapping didn't even exist back then. So they had all these stresses in their lives. And my sister and I were, you know, like we were having a good time or playing or being rambunctious or resistant. It wasn't unusual for them to say to get to bed, I will spank you if you don't go to bed. And that's how we treat ourselves sometimes. We learned how to treat ourselves from how we saw ourselves treated when we were young.

So when we talk about lack of self care, it's not just whether you go to sleep or not, whether you're in bed for seven or eight hours or not. It's about the energy that you bring to the process of getting into bed. As if you start the dance when you realize, ah, it's coming up on that time when my body or the clock is Telling me it's time to get ready. I'll give you another example. I noticed that I was waking up dehydrated, my mouth was extremely dry, and you know, I had heard about put a glass of water next to the bed and all of that. And it just, quote, seemed like too much trouble. That's usually a sign that your self care is impeded by some energy or experience.

For me, too much trouble. It could have been our parents felt like it was too much trouble to get you another glass of water or something right now.

For me, the divorce that happened when I was 4 years old really affected me and affected my bladder and I started wetting the bed. And the doctors and my mom, they said, look, just no water for you, no water for you. It'll help, really. And so when I did some tapping, when I really engaged with my inner child who was going through that time and would not be sleeping well, would be having all of this restless and uncomfortable dreams and trying to orient himself when I went back and I did some tapping with him with the idea that I wanted to bring self care and, and a release from all of that tension. What I noticed was I almost always have a glass of water next to the bed now. And before I go to bed, I check my mouth, I check my body and say, would you like a sip? And when I wake up in the morning, my whole body is more balanced. If I wake up in the middle of the night, there's water there. And this is a case where someone can read over and over again, put water next to the bed and they don't do it or they don't drink. And these are the energetic root causes that once we get to them, this whole energy of caring for ourselves becomes easier. We start feeling, feeling like that's a good and worthwhile thing to both cultivate in ourselves and encourage others to.

Yeah, and it's so beautiful. We can do that. Another thing I've noticed is I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have to pee or it would be an hour before I had to get up, or half an hour and my bladder would be full and there would be pressure and it was hard to sleep and there was that. No, no, just try to sleep, try to make it through. And I thought about it like it seemed in my mind, it seemed like it was just far too much trouble and I was going to, quote, unquote, lose sleep if I did this, but I would spend the hour being incredibly uncomfortable, not resting well and, and what was I doing? If I could have just gently for two minutes, gotten up and used the restroom and then gone back to bed and tucked myself back in, I would have had a really good sleep for an hour as opposed to that, oh my God, keep my legs crossed and try to fight through. And I do think that when we're little, we have needs and our parents are tired and we're like, mommy, I have to go pee again. I have to go use the restroom. And they're like, no, just hold it till morning, almost morning. We learn this from our parents and also if we're really tired, if we haven't been sleeping well, it feels like those two minutes are so precious. But we're not getting the deep restful sleep that we really need to feel renewed and to move forward.

So the energy that we want to cultivate as part of deep restful sleep is that if you feel that energy come up where you need some self care, whether before you go to bed, as you lie down, if you wake up in the night at some time that it's almost like you're softly guiding yourself to get your needs met in a way that a really wonderful loving grandmother might.

Yeah, oh, sweetie, you need a drink of water.

You know, I'll guide you to the toilet and then, you know, you can. I'll guide you back to bed and tuck you back in or you fold an extra blanket. That is such a different energy. And as I shared that you could feel the lack of that in your energy. Body goes, I don't have that. Or I really never had that. We want to encourage you that you don't have to live for another decade with that feeling being present inside of you. It does take some energy and attention to it, but you can make a radical difference in how your body mind reacts in the sleep dance. So it can be a soft movement out of the bed, into the bathroom, back into the bed and hmm. As opposed to having recriminations or stresses and noise that come up when that happens. And that keeps your biochemistry in a very different place.

Doesn't does. And you can be gentle and firm with yourself too. It's like, I know that there's nights when I don't want to sleep and it's like, oh, I'm going to get a glass of water, I'm going to get a blanket. Like, I'm like fussy and there's times when I'm like, okay, your needs are met and it's time just to go to sleep. No, you do not need to do one more thing. You need to go to sleep. So if you can treat yourself like you would a loving niece or nephew that you're watching, it's like, okay, we're going to make sure you have your needs met. We're going to be really gentle and compassionate about it and okay, no, you really don't want an ice cream pop right now. You're going to go to sleep. We're not going to play Nintendo now or going to sleep. So it's a very gentle way to be heart centered towards yourself in a way that you may not have noticed you weren't being before. Could we do a little bit of tapping on just the resistance we can feel sometimes? Absolutely. Great. So take a nice slow, deep breath. Tapping works best when you are present with your body. So feel your feet on the floor and wiggle your toes. Feel your butt in the chair and as you tap, feel your fingertips. Notice how they feel as they touch your skin and let it be a loving, energetic connection. So karate chop. Even though I have this resistance about.

Self care, Even though I have this resistance about self care, I should just sleep. I should just sleep.

It would be nice not to be thirsty or cold.

It would be nice not to be thirsty or cold.

It would be nice to know that I can take care of my physical needs.

It would be nice to know I can take care of my physical needs.

Even though I resent myself when I have needs in the middle of the night.

Even though I resent myself when I have needs in the middle of the night.

I wonder where I learned that from.

I wonder where I learned that from.

I bet I could do a better.

Job I bet I could do a better job now.

And I'm willing to try starting tonight.

And I'm willing to try starting tonight.

Top of the head. It's not that hard.

It's not that hard.

Eyebrow. Why do I have so much resistance?

Why do I have so much resistance?

Side of the eye. I can leave a glass of water by the bed.

I can leave a glass of water by the bed under the eye.

I can leave an extra blanket at the foot of the bed.

I can leave an extra blanket at the foot of the bed.

Under the nose. I can give myself permission to use them.

And I can give myself permission to use them.

I can get up and use the restroom in the middle of the night.

I can get up and use the restroom in the middle of the night.

Cosmopone. Should I leave a soft night light in the bathroom for myself?

Hmm. Yes. A soft night light in the bathroom would be Nice.

Under the arm. How can I support myself in moving forward?

How can I support myself in moving forward?

Top of the head. I am willing to release this resistance.

I am willing to release this resistance.

Much better care of myself and take.

Much better care of myself.

Nice deep breath. And we invite you to pay attention to the resistance. If you have a lot of resistance about something that is such beautiful tapping food, so to speak, that place, when we tap on those resistances, the illogical, subconscious resistances, it gives us a new freedom and a new connection with ourselves, and it makes life really fun. So if you ever feel like I don't know what to tap on, notice what you don't want to tap on. Shall we move on to the number two reason?

Yes, number two. Okay, so hamster infestation, Maybe not exactly. How? Out of the almost 1200 people that answered our survey about sleep quieting, the inner noise is by far number one. Yes, they want to have more energy and recharge their energy. But as we looked at, well, what really stops people from being able to make that transition from action and engagement and consciousness to a place of sleep and rest and digest and renew and refresh. Ah, hamsters seem to be the thing.

Well, we do. We have these thoughts in our heads. And I love the analogy of hamsters, because my thoughts feel like a bunch of hamsters on wheels, spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning. And if you've ever seen a hamster in a cage, I think this is actually a hamster in the picture in the webinar. They can run on those things forever. They will not get up unless you give them something else to do. And we just. Rick and I actually recorded the section for the sleep program we'll tell you about in a little bit today. And some of the information that came through us was so beautiful. I was really touched by some of the tapping Rick led. But how do you change those hamsters? You're going to bed. And this is something a lot of us do. We watch the news. It's full of noise and problems. We're on our computer. We're playing games or whatever. We have the bright screens in our faces, and then we somehow think we can go to bed and just turn it all off, but we don't have the muscles to do that. And those hamsters spin and spin and spin, either right when you're trying to go to bed or when they wake you up in the middle of the night. And we don't know how to make them get off the wheels. What I've Noticed really helps me is reminding myself that those hamsters care about me. So when I'm fighting them, the resistance, the struggle, the conflict just makes them more dug in. But when I realize, oh, these hamsters are really trying to help me, they're doing what they think they need to do to keep me safe, to remind me of the things I didn't do. If I can appreciate them first and then gently invite them off their hamsters and tuck them in bed, or hamster wheels and tuck them in bed, it makes it a lot easier. We have a lot of the words, there's a lot of things going on, I didn't do enough today, or my co worker's mad at me, or I didn't remember to call my mom, she's going to be mad at me. Or my boss looked like he had, he might have had indigestion, but he kind of frowned when he saw me. Did I remember to pay the bills that were going there? There's so much going on and so many thoughts in our heads and. And when we finally quiet down, we finally lay down, that's the first chance they've had to really get your attention often. And they're just going to be really loud.

And so this is a pattern. This is something that becomes entrenched. It becomes something that happens for people. And what we're going to encourage is a pattern interrupt. And we've got a whole series of different pattern interrupts, but tapping. There's two parts that I'd like to present right now. One is if this is your deal, if hamster infestation or that rat wheel of energy that you just can't let go of a thought, that you can't let go of, acknowledging that cleaning that up before you get to bed is ideal. And there are things that you can do in terms of journaling and processing that allow you to have another method of unwinding and getting into your body, getting out of just your head as the problem solver and getting into your body. In fact, things like guided visualizations and the like can really help encourage us because we're taking the energy from, from another person and allowing that to infuse us and tune us. That works often better for me than anything else. Once I've tapped on the urgency and frustration or whatever it is that is a part of the energy of going round and round and round. Would you like to lead us in a tapping there, Kathy?

Sure. So take a nice slow, deep breath and if this is one of your issues, I invite you to imagine that you're about to go to bed or you've gone to bed and you're laying there, put yourself in the position mentally of where this problem comes up the worst or if you find it worse, when you're driving a car, whenever it is that you have those moments when the hamster sensation seems loud, you're squeak, squeak, squeak. All these things that are wrong are not going well. Take another nice, deep breath and just notice how your body feels when you think of that noise. Mine feels very heavy and very tense and like, oh, my God. Just be with that for a moment. Okay. And stay with that feeling as we tap, because that will help you clear it if you can. If it feels okay, stay with it. Karate chop. Even though I have these hamsters.

Even though I have these hamsters and they're.

Making a lot of noise, they're making a lot of noise, it's time to.

Quiet them down it is so time to quiet them down and get some.

Ease in my body.

And get some ease in my body.

Even though it's really easy to blame.

The hamsters, Even though it's so easy to blame the hamsters, I didn't really.

Tell them what else to do.

I did not tell them what else to do.

Yelling at them doesn't work.

Yelling at them does not work.

But gentle boundaries.

But gentle boundaries.

And some guidance can help.

And some guidance can help.

Top of the head. Hey, hamsters.

Hey, hamsters.

Eyebrow. Thanks for caring so much.

Thank you for caring so much.

Side of the eye. I see how much energy you're putting.

Into this I see how much energy you're putting into this.

Under the eye, and I get that it's really important to you.

And I get that it's really important to you.

Under the nose.

When we were little, when we were.

Little, Jen, you squeaking really loudly helped.

You squeaking really loudly helped collarbone.

It reminded me to follow their rules.

It reminded me to follow their rules.

Under the arm and to fit into their world.

And to fit into their world. Their way.

Top of the head. Yeah. Top of the head. But we're not three or five anymore.

But we're not three or five anymore, Ira.

We have a lot more power we.

Have a lot more power under the eye.

And I'd love your help with something.

Else and I'd love your help with something else under the eye.

Would you be willing to have a more important job Would you be willing.

To have a more important job under the nose?

Would you help me take care of myself?

Would you help me take Care of myself, Jim.

That means gentle, loving voices.

That means gentle, loving voices.

Collarbone. It means more rest at night.

It means more rest at night.

Under the arm. I might listen to you more if I didn't feel so overwhelmed.

I might listen to you more if I didn't feel so overwhelmed.

Top of the head. So let's collaborate on this.

So let's collaborate on this and find.

A better way forward.

And find a better way forward.

Nice deep breaths. All right, Go ahead, Rick. So when you're doing this, it's really important to keep the gratitude in there. It's one of the key things. If you don't notice how hard they're working, they'll feel unappreciated and more resistant. But when we can tune in and say thank you, you have put so much effort in and let's do something different, that's like a WD40 that lets them change directions. And it really is. I mean, we call it hamsters because it's a good analogy. But really what it is is things in our parts of us, in our primitive brain, maybe inner children, they're all internalized parts of ourselves. And while we might call this exterminator for a real rodent, these are parts of us. And if we try to kill them off or shut them down, we're actually shutting down parts of ourselves. So when we can appreciate them and give them better jobs, jobs that help support us in this world now, that can make all the difference in connecting and changing the pattern you're on.

Absolutely.

Do you have anything to add to that one?

Oh, I have lots to add to that one. And in the interest of time, I'll say that people with a lot of sensitivity and a lot of caring and really good problem solving capability in general, they've got a brain that's designed for this. Their primitive brain will pick up on all kinds of different signals, and that's a good thing. And also developing and cultivating this as a skill of how we pay attention and when we pay attention, and that there's a transition time when sleep is about paying attention to our body sensations, what we need to unwind out of our thinking head, what we need to unwind out of our body, and sleep naturally does that. The cool thing here is that I have found that even 20 minutes, at some point between before dinner and bedtime, if I give myself 20 minutes to unwind the day, so to speak, like what feels like, it's like. And do some tapping and journaling and the like, my sleep changes its texture because I don't have to spend that first two, two and a half hours sleep cycle having to do that. I took care of it in 20 minutes. And so that first sleep cycle is like, wow, this is, ah, the renourishment and recharging that happens because you're not busy taking care of it. It's almost like if you went into the nicest hotel in the world that had the most beautiful view and everything else, but when you got in it, you had to clean it up like it's bedtime, but you had to clean up and you had to change the sheets on the bed and you had to go and wash the towels and everything else. Well, if that's your first job, when you actually quote bedtime, that's not the ideal time. Giving yourself some time to cultivate this as an awareness and with some skills so it doesn't take long. That's one of the things I like about tapping is that I can do. I used to just journal and meditate and that would be a two hour process. Now tapping and a little bit of breathing, focusing, body grounding and then a little bit of journaling. I've just noticed in my life that I can do that in 20 minutes. And we believe that busy, creative people probably don't have two hours every evening to be able to do a big long unwinding process.

Well, that's one reason I love.

It can be delicious. But this is even two minutes of hamster quieting. Taking the wheel out of the. Okay, it's not time for now guys. Here's some nice comfortable bedding and we'll see in the morning. That kind of energy can change the course of the rest of your sleep.

That's one reason I love the guided visualizations, because I can receive the energy. I don't have to actually, if I'm really tired, I don't really want to tap or journal. If I can have someone's loving voice guide me through relaxation and just drift off to sleep. That's so peaceful to me. It feels like it recharges me really well. And one of the things Rick put in today when we were recording the program is that we get to hear the guidance that comes through when we're rested and quiet. So much better when the hamsters are not so loud. So if the hamsters are all squeaking, we can't hear that quiet voice that says here's the solution to the problem you've been looking for or here's how you can move forward. Spending the time to quiet. These guys can Give you insights and give you the very solutions your hamsters have been trying to help you find. All right, nice deep breath.

And remember when you're making noise. Yeah, making noise. When you breathe out, that can be a really powerful signal to your brain. It's like, ah, making noise. When you get into bed, when you're getting ready.

It actually triggers the vagus nerve and it reminds that we're not in freeze mode because you're not going to. If you're running, hiding from a bear, you're not going to go. It actually gives your body feedback that it's okay to relax. So if you're ready, we're going to go on to the number one reason. Number one, my subconscious thinks I'll die. Now. This is not something our society in general talks about. And in fact, it's a relatively new understanding of how we are trained to sleep. Our parents and doctors for almost everybody listening. We grew up in a time when they believed that you needed to tell the child, you needed to set boundaries. And six months was a good time for the child to self soothe. And everyone was told to the best of the knowledge that they should let the baby cry. They should let the baby cry and learn how to take care of themselves. Well, in the last 10 years, there's been a lot of advances in neuroscience and people have been able to evaluate what happens to those babies when they leave the baby to cry. What's happening is the baby will eventually stop crying. The baby's quiet. It looks to the outside just like our parents and their doctors thought, oh, it works. See, now the baby's going. That's what we need to do. It's really hard, I'm fighting myself. But this is what we need to do so the baby's not spoiled and we can go on with our lives. What they found is that the cortisol levels are through the roof in these babies. Their heart rate is way up. They're actually in freeze mode. And for many of us, we've associated this with going to bed. Going to bed is where that happened. We were put in a crib, we're supposed to go to bed, and we were left to cry. And we felt abandoned, isolated and unsupported. And there's an even deeper thing that's going on for some children, too. There's a lot of studies showing that infants, very small infants, need to have an adult near them. A heartbeat, a breathing, so they know how to regulate themselves when they sleep. When they sleep, they're not sure their bodies haven't Gotten that pattern yet. And they were in the womb for all that time with their mom's heartbeat and the breathing, all the rhythms around them. And we were kind of taught that it's like it's abundant if you put this baby in its room all by itself. But there's some evidence that sids, a sudden infant death syndrome, may happen because the child isn't having the regulatory feedback that's going on. So to the primitive brain, nighttime bedtime may be associated with the very real belief this is a scary place to be and I might die. And this is so deeply in our subconscious, and it's so part of who we are that a lot of us don't even recognize that it's there. It's like a fish in water. We've always had this feeling, and we don't know why going to bed can be so stressful and lonely and scary and feel bad to us.

And one of the clues may be that when you get into bed, how do you feel your body? Does it feel sensually alive or does it feel a little flat, a little on edge? The freeze response. Yeah. Or shut down. As I look back at the period of time when my health was suffering the most, I remember, I quote, slept a lot, but that sleep was not anything like my sleep. Now it was time to try to make up for not being present inside of myself, not being in touch with. I was in freeze response. And when Kathy brought this research to my attention, a lot of things fell into place. This was a time when I was. When I was born, there was a lot of chaos in the house. There was already four older boys, and I hated my crib. And I could feel that tension in my body. And there's still a little bit in my hands that can tap on here in a second, that feeling of not being close to someone's heart. And the other quality of this is that there's sensitive people, and they're people that really thrive on the heart connection with other beings. And I've learned that I can be alone in the house, and yet my heart connection can be with Kathy on the west coast and with my kids and others. I sort of energetically bring myself into resonance with my tribe. And that fundamentally feels so different than that frozen. I might die here if I really let go. And this is the quality of it to sleep. Well, there's a letting go. There's a I'm safe to let go. I'm safe to let myself be. And it doesn't have to necessarily be that your childhood was Filled with actual traumas, although that obviously impacts this. Just not having been allowed to learn how to regulate and self regulate. Part of self regulation is going out of regulation. It's your heart going ah. And then feeling and hearing someone else's breath and feeling their heart, heart energy. And it doesn't necessarily mean sleeping on someone's chest. Our heart field extends out, but it does get weaker the further away we get. And once, you know, like now my children are adults, I can feel them from hundreds of miles away when they were young, if I was in the other room when they were sleeping, it felt much more distant. And I'm learning and I'm appreciating. For all of us that were raised without that kind of nurturing, it's time to give it to ourselves.

I think there can also be just from the mother's point of view too, or the parents point of view, there can be a trauma there too associated with sleep. We haven't really talked about this, but a heart centered mother or father or parents, they're told by their doctor, this is the best thing to do for your child. You must do this or you're going to hurt your child. Who's fighting their inner instincts and trying to do what they really believe is the right thing for them, can associate that with that conflict, that okay, sleep and this feeling of like there's something wrong. Intuitively I know something's wrong. But here's these experts telling me that if I don't do this, I'm going to harm my child. There's that conflict associated with sleep too, that can carry forward as well. So I think there's a lot of tie ins here and it can resonate with our own inner conflict, our own trauma about it. When we see our own children going through what we went through, it can waken up some of that pain and that fear and it can be so hard. So I'd love to do a little. Did you have something to add to that?

Well, an energetic reality is that sensitive people also pick up their neighbors and other people until they've retuned.

When we see our own children going through what we went through, it can waken up some of that pain and that fear and it can be so hard. So I'd love to do a little. Did you have something to add to that?

Well, an energetic reality is that sensitive people also pick up their neighbors and other people until they've retuned and recalibrated their body. So that this really is a self care time. It's not A time to be connected to others. And because we're not surrounded by people generally that are sleeping really well and with a big smile on their face and like relaxing and sensually in their body and feeling their body mind recharging when we lay down to sleep and other people in the neighborhood are doing that too, that also we can start resonating there. The good news is that starting with number three, we're really working on the self care. Two, quieting the hamsters, especially those things that are like taking us outside of ourselves really about other people's business, even the world as a whole. Quieting that noise also turns down the sensitivity meters so we're not paying attention to what's happening across the world that really isn't our business when it's time for us to recharge.

Yeah, I'd love to lead a tapping or have you lead a tapping if you're willing on letting that old fear go. Because we don't need. If you're adult enough to listen to this call and understand our words. You really do. You know three year olds. When we're three, that's about the time we can learn to self soothe ourselves. And by that age we're definitely able to regulate our heartbeat and our breathing. That doesn't mean we may not feel lonely. But the actual triggers to the brain that we might die during the night are not. They're not real anymore or they're not as valid. So do you feel drawn to tap on that or would you like me to lead it?

I do. Yeah, let's both. I'll do a couple rounds and you do a couple rounds. Excellent. Does that sound good?

Yeah. And even if you don't think this applies for you, please try it on. If it's not, you will know it better. When you tap, you tap on it, you'll be clear. It's not for you. And you can just pass on. Go on. But just try it on.

So feet on the floor. Feel your feet. Maybe push them into the ground a little bit. Tap your karate chop point. Take a soft breath. Even though I may be carrying some old frozen moments Even though I may.

Be carrying some old frozen moments.

Where I really was scared.

Where I really was scared.

And I was isolated.

And I was isolated.

And a part of me felt abandoned.

And a part of me felt abandoned.

And there was nothing I could do.

There was nothing I could do.

I sensed soothing back in time to that part of me.

I am soothing back in time to that part of me.

And I am starting to soothe and comfort myself right now and I am.

Starting to soothe and comfort myself right.

Now and learning to regulate my heart.

And my energy and learning to regulate my heart and my energy.

So I really feel cared for.

So I really feel cared for.

Top of the head. I felt so isolated and abandoned.

I felt so isolated and abandoned.

Eyebrow. There was nothing I could do.

There was nothing I could do.

Side of the eye, and a part of me may have frozen then and.

A part of me may have frozen.

Then under the eye and associated bedtime and associated bedtime under the nose with a really scary time.

With a really scary time.

Chin. And I'm changing that association now.

I'm changing that association now.

Collarbone. No more cribs or bassinets for me.

No more cribs or bassinets for me.

Under the arm. I give my energy permission to tune to a healthy channel I give my.

Energy permission to tune to a healthy channel.

And really send warmth and loving to my heart and soul.

Really send warmth and loving heart to my soul.

Deep breath. Feels right to you. Take your hand and just gently touch your belly, your heart, your knees. Give them a little squeeze. You're always welcome to imagine Kathy and I rubbing your back, giving you a nice, nice hug, letting you know that you are not alone. We are connected in ways that we can feel once the freeze response has been warmed up and you have just done a step in that direction. The more that we care for ourselves and quiet the noise, our subconscious gets a very different opportunity. It gets an opportunity to relax and recharge. We as humans are capable of living in a war zone, and we are capable of freezing our body and pretending to sleep or taking the kind of sleep that you would get when you really weren't safe, but you needed it, you had to have it. Breaking that pattern changes everything. And I know in my life that there are times and moments where I will fall into that. There's something that's going on that reminds me of something that happened long ago. The association. It can be a smell, it can be an attitude. It can be a move. It can be a lot of different things. And that's why people often fall into a bad sleep pattern. The great news is that the more that we use these approaches, the more that we can sleep now, meaning when I want to, when it's right for me, without having to endure or force ourselves into that sleep. Because if I don't, I'll die. And that's a huge difference.

It is. And I really loved what you said about the regulation. I'D love to do some inner tapping on this. Do a round of inner tapping on it. And what I'd like you to do, if you're willing, is I'd like you to. We're going to send some of this love and regulation. Our heart beats very steady now. We're able to take care of this. We're going to send it back to our younger selves. And if you are a parent or a caregiver and you went through this process yourself or you distanced yourself from the child, I invite you to also send this energy back to your children, to the younger selves that were stuck back there. And for their highest good, they can receive what they want to receive. But we are going to just send some of this self soothing and this regulation back to this younger self that was trapped and alone. So imagine that you can see this small child alone. Whether they are crying or they have given up crying, they are afraid to sleep because they feel so alone. And they are not sure if their heart's going to beat the right way. Their breaths will be right. They don't know if anyone will ever come again. And imagine that you walk into that room and you can be an energy space or you can be physical and you go over and you put a gentle hand on that child's heart. And what I'd like you to do is gently tap on yourself now while you imagine that you're sending this energy to that younger self. If it feels right to tap on that little baby very, very gently, that's fine. Or if you just want to leave your hand on their heart, that's great too. Karate chop. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, sweetheart.

I know this is so frightening.

I know this is so frightening.

And I know you feel abandoned and alone.

And I know you feel abandoned.

You are so special.

You are so special and so very loved. And so very loved.

That I've come back through time.

That I've come back through time to.

Give you what you need.

To give you what you need.

Top of the head. I let you feel my heart.

I let you feel my heart.

Eyebrow. It will never leave you.

It will never leave you.

It will guide you forward.

It will guide you forward.

Under the eye. And my breathing will help you regulate yours.

And my breathing will help you regulate yours.

Under the nose. I am here to soothe you.

I am here to soothe you, Jen.

And I'll teach you how to soothe yourself.

And I'll teach you how to soothe yourself.

Collarbone. You are not alone.

You are not alone.

Under the arm. You are surrounded by My love, you.

Are surrounded by my love.

Top of the head. And that will never leave.

And that will never leave.

Take a nice deep breath and if you can just stay present with that for a minute. Let that small frozen being feel your heart and your breath and your love and just anchor that feeling so that little tiny being can unfreeze just like blossoming in a warm gentle sun and relax and go into a gentle deep sleep. Because you're not going to leave. That part of you energetically can always be connected. You don't have to pay attention to it all the time, but it can always be there. Always loving them, always caring. Take another nice deep breath and let yourself come back to the present, leaving that connection with that younger self. Just go on in the subconscious region. You don't have to worry about it. Your heart will take care of it. So this kind of thing can make a really big difference in how you sleep. It's. It may not seem like we are addressing some of the conscious current things when we do these inner tappings or this inner work with these very young stuff, but letting your subconscious feel safe and relaxed, that makes a difference. Do you have anything to add on that one?

That was beautiful. Thank you.

All right, so what we'd like to do is in the beginning we'd tell you how you can go deeper. We'd like to spend, with your permission, we'd like to spend a couple minutes telling you how you can do that. And then we're going to come back and tell you a little bit more about what happens, what you can do when you wake in the middle of the night. So we do have a. We've been working on this sleep program, Sleep now, Quiet inner noise and raise your energy. We're doing this because we've had so many people tell us that sleep is such a critical problem for them. They may be working through their childhood abuse issues or their self sabotage issues or anything else that we worked with thousands of clients. But the lack of sleep undermines the progress they're making on any of these things because they're not getting the rest, they're not recharging the way they want to. And so we sent out a survey and so many replied and we're so grateful. It was wonderful to get. It's almost 1200 replies we got. We've read every single one and then the feedback for the title and everything. We're delighted to collaborate with you. And so we put this program together and we're so excited about it. We can feel you're asking and Rick and I, we respond to that and we've been recording the program as we go and we're going to add more per your feedback in the program. But we've been just inspired by your asking and we've been having some of the answers that have been flowing through us. I'm just, just been profound. They've helped us both as well. And so we'd like to invite you to join us. The program is closing on Tuesday night at midnight because we want to focus on the people that are ready to take action now. But if you're ready to go deeper on these topics and change how you sleep for the rest of your life, spend a short period of time to fundamentally change how rested and renewed you feel, then we invite you to join the program. It's $97. We're including tapping guided visualization and coaching and there's also a three pay option. Three pay of $33. We'd love to have you join us so we can help you sleep better tonight. Do you have anything to add?

I think of all of my friends and what so many talk about. So tired. Oh, I'm so tired. Oh, I'm so tired. It's become something that people talk about without a sense of empowerment and something as natural as sleep. If we can come together and use what we've learned about the primitive brain, what we've learned about how to invite, coax and create a structure for changing patterns, which is a science. This is an emotional technology. And yet it can also be, as you saw with what Kathy led us through, a deeply rich emotional and spiritual one as well. That's what I like so much about this work and this approach is that it incorporates the best of what we know about us as biological beings. And it also helps us tune to sensations and heart vibrations and the inner and connected song that we share. So that sleep becomes something that isn't just about zonking out and getting up better. It becomes more of the dance that we do in engaging with our energy in a way that is delicious, is refreshing, that is deep spiritually. Even in the middle of the night by having our noise quieted, if we do wake up, things are different. So Kathy and I have a real engagement around this subject. And we know that people have tried many, many things. We've heard out of 1200 people, hundreds and hundreds of things that people have tried. I can only attest that as we go through and create this, even as much as I really felt pretty comfortable with my sleep, things would arise and be addressed and I can feel a new pattern establishing. I can feel a new awareness and even in just a few minutes of listening and tapping along and following a guided visualization, it gives me access to energies. It's like having the water next to the bed. The other night I was lying in bed and I was just still really excited. I had just gotten back from the country, I'd seen these fireflies and they had all been in synchronicity and it was beautiful and I was still on a high from the drive and the music and everything. And as I lay down I had access to energy that was co created for those of you that are listening. This is all an act of co creation and it gave me access to things that allowed me to tune and savor and not just zonk out, not just stay up until I was exhausted, but allowed me to savor my experience of being alive and alive in relationship with other people. So we do invite you. We really invite you to join us. Thrivingnow.com sleep and obviously we have a 30 day money back guarantee too and we'd love for you to give it a try.

Yeah, to me it kind of takes sleep to artistry. It's a difference between throwing you're making dinner and you throw some TV dinner in the oven versus you're able to create something beautiful. Like you take your sleep to a level of artistry and that's what we want for you. Why not spend a third of your life doing something so profoundly beautiful and renewing yourself? So we invite you to join us and change that. So we want to loop it back around and help. What happens if you wake in the middle of the night? Now a lot of people do. It's a very common problem and we can have. There could be imbalances in the food we're eating or we could have been out in nutrition. We may need better self care. There's a lot of different things there. But there also can be. We may have gotten enough rest that our brain starts churning on stuff again. And there is that feedback loop when our brain starts going and thinking about things, hormones in our bodies respond. They don't necessarily know that it's not true. So if we're thinking worrisome thoughts, the adrenaline, the cortisol, all the stress hormones start going up and that makes our brain go more. Those hamsters are like, oh, got to run faster. Tapping and visualizations can definitely help. I'm a big fan. If I am in the middle of the night or as I'm going to sleep, I Don't actually tap. I hold and breathe on each of the points and I'll say the phrase in my mind, or I can even just visualize holding the point. I don't even have to necessarily move my hand. And that can be very, very restful and a beautiful way to love yourself. Back to sleep and just remind yourself that it's okay. I'll take care of this in the morning with a glass of water. I often leave a pen and paper by my bed, a little notepad. If the hamsters get really loud on a topic, I'll write it down on that piece of paper and invite the paper to hold the worry and the information. And then when I wake up in the morning, it's right there. If I have a bad dream, the same thing. I can just write down a couple phrases that will help me remember that there's probably something here I should either find a solution to or do some tapping on that will give me a different insight in the morning. And we can definitely change how our hormones are, how the chemicals in our body are, by changing our mindset and our beliefs. But, Rick, you have an absolutely beautiful insight into why some people wake up in the middle of the night. And I would really love for you to share a little bit about that because that was powerful. I used to blame myself and beat myself up for waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning and being wide awake for 45 minutes or an hour. I was like, I should sleep. What's wrong with me? And this insight that you shared made such a difference for me. Would you be willing to share it?

Yes. When I was in the healing process, I was doing a lot of meditation and I was learning to journal and receive and guidance and tune into my body and tune into source and tune into the supportive energies of the planet and of the universe. And I remember I started waking up at 3:30 in the morning. Boom. And it was with a kind of alertness that was different. There was something about the level of alertness. There was a softness to it, but it was definitely what I would call awake. And I could not get back to sleep for at least an hour and a half, two hours after that. But one night I just heard a soft voice. Let's get up and connect. Communicate. There's something we would have, you know. And I went into the living room and I grabbed my journal and I had enough light, soft light, to be able to just write and listen. And what I learned over the years that have followed, and it's been over 25 years since I learned that there is a quietness at certain times of the night that is profoundly different than at other times, our neighborhood is asleep. My brain has been rested enough to be able to receive because receiving takes energy, receiving guidance, creating and co creating with the forces of the universe takes some energy. And so I got up and I've learned that if I wake up in the middle of the night now to just ask the question softly, is there something that you need to get through to me? Is it time to get up for a moment? And what I learned was that if the answer to that is yes and I do that what I can receive during that time can profoundly impact me. It can give me reassurance like those words spoken at any other time never would. It can bring me healing and visions and dreams that a lucid dream that gives me a sense for how I'm co creating with everyone that is in my life. It required that I let go of the story that waking up in the middle of the night is always a bad thing. And I find now that I don't need to be woken up at 3:30 in the morning. I'm not quite as my receptors are not quite so rusty, I'm able to received during the day so there's less of a need for the middle of the night. And sometimes during the middle of the night it's just ah, there was a noise or there was a cycle and I'm, you know, maybe I readjust the bed, take off my shirt or something like that. And sometimes it is, it's time for us to connect and so we, I just encourage people to be open to that possibility that there's a loving bit of wisdom, reassurance, guidance, healing that might be yours at that time of the night too.

Yeah. And that was so beautiful. I love that it gave me a peace when I woke up that let me take out the blame and be present with myself and hear really amazing things. And I actually would go back to sleep much sooner because I was listening rather than fighting it. So this is all, you know, we're going deeper in this, in the program. If you're, if you'd like to see this, if you'd like to take your sleep to a new level of artistry, to create something beautiful in your life for eight hours or whatever hours you sleep, we invite you to join us. And again the program closes Tuesday at midnight. So you only have a couple days. We'd love to see you in there. Thank you so much.