This is a YouTube video titled "What Do You Do When People Tell You What To Do?" featuring a conversation between Kathy Martulli and Rick Wilkes recorded in June 2017. The discussion centers on the challenges of external advice, the development of personal decision-making, and tuning into one's internal guidance for authentic life choices.
Don't you just love it when people tell you what to eat and where to go and how to think and what to do with your life?
It's so wonderful, all that pressure and discord around you. I'm Kathy Martulli from thriving now and theintimacydojo.com and I'm here with Rick Wilkes from thrivingnow.com and that can be just so noisy, Rick. It can be really hard to tell what's right because often you'll have four or five people giving you very conflicting advice. Certain they're right?
Absolutely. And they sound so sure of themselves, especially when they're talking about what you should do.
Yes.
And you know, when we're kids, we don't know very much. We may have impulses and instincts, but we're designed to pay attention to the external world and the authorities in our life. It's a way of learning how to navigate. It's, there's a point in our lives. And I remember when I switched from really trying to figure out how to make everyone else happy to taking in all of that, all the options, a bit like the TV Guide version of life and then feeling into what's right for me. And that changed everything. It changed my stress level, it changed my health, it changed me from a place of being really sick to having my own clarity in the moment, in the now about what's right for me.
Well, I think one, people don't really tell us that our brains actually evolve as we grow. Our prefrontal cortex is not formed when we're a teenager, certainly not when we're a small child. And our impulse control is almost non existent until it's like we're in our mid-20s, early mid-20s. So children and teenagers make very different decisions than an adult might make. And we don't just, we just don't have the experience of knowing what to do, that if we take that grape juice in the living room on the white carpet, it might be really bad. So it makes sense as children that we should have some guidance from outside, that we should kind of give more weight to what other people are saying. No one ever tells us, hey, you're going to grow up one day and you'll get to make more of your own decisions. I think partly because people really, it feels easier if other people are like, you can feel easier internally, but also to other people. If I just tell them what to do and they do it, my life is simpler. I don't have to deal with another independent being in my world.
That's Right. So we're talking about tuning into your own guidance. And I believe that this is the most critical, crucial self development tool. And it really does mean not just being in your head. Your head can. And your brain is like an antenna. It is aware of so many things. But your heart and your gut and your groin, the parts of you in that whole column of receivers and knowers, you know, if you've ever had a gut feeling and you just know something is right for you, you and you tuned into it and you honored it. Well, that's one place. But we can also feel things in our pelvis. Whether something feels safe and secure and solid and something that we can balance against, but whether we're going to have to maintain more fluidity. There's so much information available. When we take a moment and bring our attention to listening to our own.
Internal reference, I think that gives us so much more authentic a decision decision that's going to much more likely to turn out in our favor in a win win situation versus listening to other people's shoulds and ought to's. And it gives us a chance to direct our lives from our own heart. And I do believe our body is actually an antenna for the universe for all the wisdom things that we might not be able to consider. And when we pay attention to those sensations versus the fear that we might be feeling versus the other people's advice, we start making decisions that make our life beautiful to us versus looking good to other people. And sometimes that's the same thing. But if I just look good to other people, I'm often miserable. So I'd love to come back and do a video on telling the difference between fear and guidance. Are you up for that?
Absolutely. And I also want to do a reminder video for people that are feeling very external and they don't even know in that moment what it would feel like to be grounded.
Wonderful. Leave comments below. We'd love to know what you think.
