What Do You Do When People Are Constantly Pulling At You And You're Not Getting Enough Done?

What do you do when people are constantly pulling at you for your time and attention and you're just not getting as much done as you'd like?

I'm Rick from Thriving now and this is Kathy from thriving now and theintimacydojo.com and I'll tell you, if you're a generous hearted person and if you have a lot of capacities, if you have certain superpowers that people want, whether it's making them meals or cleaning up after them, or picking them up, or doing this or doing that and doing this and doing that, you may find that you have stretched yourself to the place where you just don't have any more capacity.

And it can feel very irritating when someone, even someone you love, comes up to talk to you and you're like, please just go away. Why won't they leave me alone? It's easy to feel powerless and feel like the universe is sending all these people to talk to us.

So a little trick here. If you're a generous hearted person and you're doing a lot more than what you would like, ask yourself, just tune into your body. How much of this do I really want to be doing? If it was good and nourishing to me to have a better balance in my life, what percentage of this is it? 30%, 80%? A lot of the people I ask that question, take a moment, tune in for yourself. The percentage is often really high. But it's those things that you're doing which are, are either that you have a story that you have to and that's the way that you're kind of whipping yourself to do it, or it's really not something that you want to be doing. It's really not a yes for you and you don't have good boundaries about it.

And I think the other thing that can happen is sometimes we don't put ourselves on our own list. So we have a list of people we're really glad to help, but we're not giving time for ourselves. Like last night I was tired and I was working on something and someone I really enjoy came up and just wanted to chat. And I'm like, I love to talk with you. And right now I don't have the bandwidth, so I need to focus on this. I was putting myself on my own list. I was giving myself time, which makes me less resentful when someone comes up, even someone I really enjoy. I'm like, after a while, that's right.

We can, we can acknowledge that you have to take care of yourself first and you Know, I had heard that and heard that and heard that and heard that. And one of the reasons that we invite you to try tapping as a way of giving yourself permission to take care of yourself is that there's often sort of an unwritten rule in your body in your past. For example, if you imagine taking care of yourself, what would authority figures from your past have said about that? Selfish? Or did they just demand that you do everything when they told you to do it and you didn't have a choice? And notice where that starts. Feeling. You start feeling that reaction in your body. What? Take care of me? You gotta be kidding. That's not allowed. Is that true? Is, are you allowed to take care of yourself?

And what if you have the power to actually ask for what you need? Like, for the next hour, I'm just going to work by myself and no interruptions. If the house is on fire, call the fire department. Otherwise, leave me alone. So, again, just notice the stress in your body. Imagine that you're maybe wherever you feel this the most, imagine you're at your desk at work where people keep coming up. And because you're the person that solves things or knows how to do things, notice what you're feeling in your body. And let's do a little bit of tapping.

Yes, please.

Nice, slow, deep breath. Karate chop. Even though everybody wants to talk to.

Me, Even though everyone wants to talk to me.

And they're all pulling at my time.

And attention, and they're all pulling at my time and attention.

They all want something.

They all want something.

And that feels so stressful and that.

Feels so stressful to my body.

I choose to take a deep breath right now.

I choose to take a deep breath right now.

And look for places I have power.

And look for places I do have power.

Top of the head. I can't tell small children to go away.

I can't tell small children to go away even if I want to.

Eyebrow. But everyone else I can tell to go away.

What if I can tell some other people to go away?

Side of the eye. And I might be able to get someone to watch the small children.

And I might even get someone, someone to watch the small children.

Under the eye. I feel the stress in my body.

The stress in my body.

Under the nose. This feeling of powerlessness.

This feeling of powerlessness.

I feel like the universe just sends them at me.

I feel like they just keep coming and coming. And someone's sending them.

Collarbone. A plague of locusts.

A plague of demands under the arm.

And I choose to be Here for myself right now.

And I choose to be here for myself right now.

On top of that, I get to take care of myself, too.

I get to take care of myself, too.

Eyebrow. I get to be on my list.

I get to be on my list.

Side of the eye. I can block time off.

I can block time off.

Under the eye. Maybe I can go someplace no one can find me.

Maybe I can go someplace no one can find me for an hour.

Under the nose. I choose to release the stress I choose to release this stress chin and find new solutions.

And find some new solutions, Colin.

But I do get to have boundaries.

I do get to have boundaries under the.

I get to be on my list.

I get to be on my list.

Top of the head. And I can still be there sometimes.

For people and I definitely can still be there and choose to be there for people sometimes.

Take a nice deep breath. I do do this at work sometimes. I tell our admin that I'm going to hide for an hour and get some email answered and I go to a coffee shop just down the road. I'm really close. If they need me, I can get back in a minute or two. But there's nobody. They don't know I'm there, so they can't find me and ask me questions.

Yeah. And you know, again, we're looking at the stress of people pulling on you. That's the question that someone had. They feel pulled on all the time. That's an energetic place. And if you're in a place where you can go and calm yourself down, remind yourself that it's okay for me to take care of myself too. That these are not forest fires that have to be fought right now. They're actually things that I can balance out. And that's the thing. We're moving from a place of stress to a place of resourcefulness. And as Kathy said in the tapping, Tapping can help you open to some new possibilities. And maybe the first ones are, I'm just gonna run away from home. That's a stress, you know, it sounds stressful. I'm just gonna run away from home. I'm gonna go hide under the bed. Great. Because now at least some ideas are coming in. Start tapping some more. And things like, yeah, I'm gonna trade with my friend Jess and she's gonna watch my kids so that I can have an hour of just my self time and recalibrate back into me, do my meditation, do my yoga, and then I'll do the same for her. And that is the beauty of calming the primitive brain, quieting the body stress so that your intuition can flow up and into your awareness.

Could we do one on tapping about feeling guilty? Because a lot of people feel guilty when they say no. And I think that's a big thing that will block people from moving forward.

Let's do another one.

Come back for the next video.