Jen spent 30 years in unconscious lesbian relationships before hitting rock bottom. Ruth L. Schwartz's Conscious Girlfriend program gave her tools and a community to heal and build healthier partnerships.
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So we were just talking about how if you hadn't found Conscious Girlfriend, you feel like your most likely future would have been another unconscious relationship. Which, by which, what do you, what do you even mean by that, first of all?
Well, what I mean, Ruth, is that I've, you know, been out for 30 years in this lifetime, and I've had 30 years of unconscious lesbian relationships where either I've ignored red flags or just, you know, done dating all the wrong ways or been in relationships way too long. And when I knew, like, it was time to end them. And like, that won't happen again. That won't happen again. But the reason it won't happen again is because I came and I found A Conscious Girlfriend. And I have received, you know, like a training guide, like a map to be able to, you know, live out in the world as a lesbian and be in relationships in a healthy, conscious way. And like, that, that was not my predictable future. It was a whole other path. And so for me, it was like, I just got that like today, you know, I've been in this.
Wow.
like a relationship, the best relationship of my life for the last year, you know, after I found Conscious Girlfriend, and I've used it to really practice healthy relationship. And I got like, this is going to be the rest of my life. It's amazing.
So that is amazing. And the thing that I'm thinking as I listen to you is I know you, Jen, to be incredibly growth-oriented, motivated, passionate. You persevere. You're creative, you find solutions, you're resourceful. You know, so I'm, I'm curious, like, what is it that kept you doing the same unconscious things over and over again for 30 years? I mean, it's not just you, it's like most of us, right? But, you know, and how did Conscious Girlfriend help you change that?
Well, good question. I mean, I feel like one, I had to hit rock bottom really, really hard. And I did, like, in epic proportion, so much to the point where I was, you know, needing to just basically hibernate and heal myself and be alone. In all ways, you know. And then to be able to come into this space, which is like a space of pausing and healing with Conscious Girlfriend, with you and all of the content that's been created inside of this like really sacred container with these beautiful people who have been where you've been and understand. You know, like how hard it has been for most of us to have lesbian relationships for so many reasons, some of which we could maybe control, and others that we can't, just because of the, the cultures and societies that we live in. But, you know, really dedicating that time to myself is what, what made the difference, and having the space. And all the wisdom and the compassion, right? Like being able to be also gentle and loving with myself in that process.
So it sounds like the formula is like hit rock bottom and then what? And you, like many other people, found Conscious Girlfriend in a rock bottom moment, and then that gave you a path forward.
Yeah.
And the other thing that you were just saying was you've had this beautiful relationship for over a year now and you expect it to continue. But if for any reason it didn't, you know, you, you have these tools and this knowledge now so that your date— future dating life will be forever changed. Like there is no going back. And so that's, at least that's what I was hearing.
No, no, there's no going back. It's like reaching this higher frequency that now, you know, you'll be able to maintain that. It's like lesbian superpowers.
I love this. I love this. From rock bottom to lesbian superpower.
Something like that.
Oh my God, that's been my journey too, you know. Well, I don't know if I'm at the lesbian superpower, but I mean, I think that that's like the fundamental heroic journey.
Yeah. And then not to say like, there's not going to be hard times ahead, you know, because there are, that's real. That's life. But like, the choices that I will make are going to be, you know, for my highest good and, and other people's and in a way that's Just so much more loving. Yeah.
So it seems like, like, again, just about that journey from unconscious relationships to conscious relationships, it sounds like you have a roadmap, for lack of a better term, or, you know, you have a context, you have a, like, like There were mistakes you were making for 30 years, and despite your, your high degree of intelligence and diligence and motivation, like, you couldn't see what you didn't see. Yeah, yeah.
And then inside of the dialogues, right, being in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy and being in the classes Really doing the homework, listening, and, um, you know, being able to, to get access to all of that and be in introspection and doing the work. It's like, that's— that was what made the difference. That's like the recipe. Like, if you just stay inside of it and do the work, and there's light at the end of, of this tunnel. That so many of us have been down.
