In this promotional overview, the instructor outlines a 12‑week Lesbian Dating Essentials class designed to help single or dating women navigate lesbian dating with confidence. The talk begins by emphasizing the emotional stakes of dating and the need for preparation: understanding personal readiness, defining what dating means to the individual, and clarifying strengths, growth edges, relationship visions, deal‑breakers, and must‑haves. The curriculum then moves to practical skills such as crafting an authentic dating profile, creating a personalized dating plan, and using both online and offline avenues. Core relational dynamics are covered, including the biology of limerence, attachment patterns, trauma bonds, and the distinction between chemistry and compatibility, with strategies to foster secure attachment. A novel component addresses the growing influence of AI in dating—identifying AI‑generated interactions, leveraging AI tools, and understanding AI “girlfriends.” The instructor highlights the course’s adaptability to a wide age range (from first‑time daters to those over 80, including widows and long‑term singles) and its flexible, question‑driven format that evolves with participants’ needs. By the end of the 12 weeks, participants are expected to have a clear, realistic vision of the relationship they want, practical tools for meeting compatible partners, and the emotional skills to reduce heartbreak and pursue love intentionally.
Chapters
that most of the people on the call today are single or dating, but not in a committed relationship at this point. Maybe you're in a relationship and you just came to find out what this was about, and, you know, or to share it with your friends or clients or colleagues. And so if that's the case, that's great. But basically, we're here to talk about dating. I'm going to answer questions that people have about dating. I could talk for hours about dating without anybody ever asking a question, but I would love to answer some of your questions. And I also want to tell you about the 12-week Lesbian Dating Essentials class that is starting in 2 weeks, because, you know, This is gonna— there's so much to say. There's so much to not only understand, but to be able to work with and embody that in my experience, it really takes longer than a single Zoom call because dating and love are something that are really, really, really important in our lives. They're really important to our well-being, you know, such that we feel great When they're going well, as you can see on Linda and Laurie's faces right now, and we feel miserable when they're not going well. And so, you know, in my opinion, it takes— it's really worth the time that it takes to learn if you're somebody who's ever had a hard time. What was going wrong? What are your patterns that you need to change? What are your beliefs or assumptions that need to change? What more do you need to know about yourself? And then how do you do this thing of meeting other women? And how do you figure out, you know, if there are sparks, how do you slow things down enough to find out if there are the other compatibility factors? If there are not sparks, how do you know if it's worth continuing to get to know her? How do you know who you really are compatible with other than Um, and how do you write a good dating profile? And how do you use the dating sites and the apps? And how else can you meet somebody if you don't want to use the dating sites or apps, etc.? So those are all things that we'll be diving into in the Lesbian Dating Essentials class. Um, today we can go more popcorn style if people have questions, or I can kind of give A little bit of an overview. Okay. So, um, where we start is with preparation for lesbian dating. So, and we will not necessarily go in this exact order, but there are a lot of things to look at in order to, to, to just even be ready to do this thing. You know, the way that a lot of people do it is like Well, I just throw up a profile just to see who's out there, and I haven't done any of this other stuff. That's not actually the best way because it's a really good idea to know if you're ready to date and what to do if you're not, and to know even what dating actually means to you. Because some people have this idea that the only reason to date is to look for somebody that you will spend the rest of your life with. Other people have this idea that dating is to go out and do fun things with a variety of different women. Both of those are valid conceptions of dating, but they're really different. So knowing if you're ready to date, what dating means to you, and how to proceed from there is a really key thing. So, so it's one place where we start. Another important preparation for dating is to really know your own strengths and your growth edges and be able to work with them. And the reason why I emphasize that is because otherwise you could be dating and you could meet somebody amazing, and then you're like, oh my God, I'm messing this up because I wasn't ready for this. She's great, but I'm freaked out, or I'm unskillful in my communication, or I'm frozen, or I'm going into people pleasing. So, you know, there's a whole lot to do about really being ready to show up for the kind of relationship that you want. So we look at a lot of stuff about that, you know, working productively with fears and mixed feelings, rewiring your brain, understanding the anatomy of a lesbian relationship, how we start out in this intense limerence brain chemistry state in which we tend to feel like the other person is perfect and she thinks you're perfect. And then— A few months in, that wears off. And it turns out nobody's perfect. And, you know, the shit can hit the fan. So we really, you know, I want to make sure that you understand that sequence and that it's normal and it happens to everybody, but also how to work with it most skillfully so that, you know, it's not like you've made all these commitments and then all of a sudden, a few months in, you're realizing you're not compatible and it's shattering. So in the preparation phase, you're also creating a clear and realistic vision of the relationship you want. One thing I see a lot of people doing is, on the one hand, like, not really knowing what kind of relationship they want, like feeling like, you know, oh, when I meet the right person, we'll just work it out. It's just very vague. and that will get you into trouble. But I also see other people perhaps who have been burned by that kind of pattern. They go around with their checklist with 87 different points, and, you know, if you go on a date with them, they will be interrogating you. Like, that also doesn't work. So we're going to work on creating a clear and also realistic vision, and then create— identifying what your deal breakers and your must-haves are so that You know, all of this, I hope you can, you can tell how it will actually put you in a much, much, much better position to be dating in a way that feels good and that gives you more of what you want or leads to what you want. So then we will be writing a dating profile. And this is a really great exercise, even for anybody in the group who Does not want to date online. You're like, no apps ever. We have had people in the academy. This has happened more than once where somebody wrote a dating profile, never put it up online, shared it with another academy member, and a romance blossomed from there. So really, the the learning that you do. The discernment that you do as you devise your dating profile is going to be really important and helpful for you. Then you can develop a dating plan. This is assuming that you want to date. If you're not ready to date, your dating plan is, I'm not dating right now. But if you do want to date, you develop a dating plan, and that, you know, could look a lot of different ways depending on who you are. And then you learn how to date in a smart-for-your-heart way. So, you know, whether it's online or offline, there's a lot of stuff to watch out for. We talk a lot about attachment. Many of us, as soon as we start liking somebody that we're dating, or even just as soon as we start dating, we start attaching. Like the good morning and the good night texts. You know, you don't even know this person, but all of a sudden you're texting them multiple times a day. That's building attachment. It's bringing your brain the signal that this is now the most important person in your life. So we just look at all this stuff so that you can have more choice about it. And again, really do dating in a way that is so much less likely to yield heartbreak and so much more likely to yield what you actually want. And then this time, for the first time, we're going to be really talking about AI because AI is infiltrating our dating world in so many ways. So we're going to talk about how to recognize if you're communicating with AI, not a real person, how to use AI in ways that serve you. We'll talk about the whole phenomenon of AI girlfriends. You know, just We'll talk about AI. Then we'll talk about attachment, how to recognize and prevent trauma bonds, how to stop your own attachment wounds from derailing your connection, how to cultivate secure attachment, how to recognize the difference between chemistry and compatibility. They're very different. Of course, most of us want some chemistry in our relationships, but intense chemistry can really mislead us, and we'll talk about why, and we'll talk about what else you really need to look for. So, yeah, and lots of attitudinal shifts that put you back in the driver's seat, no matter who you are. You know, we have a lot of people that come in who have never dated a woman before. We have a lot of people that are over 50 or over 60, over 70. Over 80. We have some people that have been single for many years or even decades, or people that were maybe in a 30 or 40-year marriage and then their wife dies and they want to start over. But, you know, it's a very different dating world than it was 30 or 40 years ago. So we're going to be talking about all of those things and ultimately how to move confidently toward the love that is seeking you. Knowing that she's out there when you're in here. So that's— this is not a week-by-week outline, because what I find is that in the class, each class is different because what people ask and where we go in the class, I like to sort of weave with it. So if I had a very strict outline that, you know, this is what we're covering in week 2, this is what we're covering in week 3, It would be less fun because we, we wouldn't be able to follow the organicity of what comes up in the group. But by the end of the 12 weeks, we will have covered all those things on that outline that you just looked at, and many more things in addition, I predict.
