Open Mic at the 60+ Lesbian/Queer Support & Connection Group

Alrighty. I just wanna say for the recording, we are doing open mic with some of the most incredible, beautiful, talented women of CGA. And this is the first known one. We're breaking history today. So we're glad to have each and every one of you guys here. And we're gonna start. Thank you, Pierce, and thank you, Shirley, for making this happen and being the incredible leaders and women you are. And we're talking about this being the Crone Group, which is a very, very special place to be. It's— women of wisdom are in this room. And with that said, we're going to start with Lynn. Lynn has a poem that she wrote that she wants to, to read for us.

Uh, well, it is not a poem, and I am going to come on video, but I want to warn you that, um, I fell a week ago, so my face is really bruised. But I feel fine. I hit right here and it's just raining down. So it's all of the multicolors of the rainbow. So, and nothing happened that was terrible.

Yeah.

So this is a poem that I did not write. I found it years ago, and I have it on an index card. And I'm in the process of laboriously moving, and this was a great gift to find in the process of going through all kinds of things in drawers and boxes and Oh my God, there's a reason that I had put off doing this for years and years. But I love this. This is by Emily Hall. Make peace with all the women you once were.

Hmm.

Lay flowers at their feet. Offer them incense and honey. and forgiveness. Honor them and give them your silence. Listen. Bless them and let them be, for they are the bones of the temple you sit in now, for they are the rivers of wisdom leading you toward the sea.

Oh, beautiful, beautiful. Um, kind of the format that we're doing is like it's a 5-minute share. And would you like any comments, Lynn? Would you be open to that, or—

Oh, sure. Okay, I'd love to hear anything that anybody thinks or feels in reaction to that.

So would anyone like to share? Yes, Shirley.

Yes, I'm, I'm peace. I, I felt peace in my heart while listening to your words, Lynn. Thank you.

I will put it in the chat.

Carolyn?

You know, one of the— I think the greatest aspect of this was embracing self-love.

Mm-hmm.

And that's just so beautiful, particularly in this day and in our age. So thank you for that. Thank you.

Patty?

Okay, I'm not muted anymore for the moment. Anyway, I wanted to first of all say thank you to Liz, to Lynn, and also to just say, kind of coincidentally with Shirley, for me it's gratitude. I mean, there's never enough gratitude, really. You know, I mean, there's so many things to be grateful for, and my sense of, of that poem is it just really reminded me of how important it is to have gratitude. So thank you very much, Lynn.

Nancy.

What struck me, and it was making peace with all the women you have been, I hadn't ever thought of it that way. And I want to go do some work with that. So thank you very much, Lynne.

Yeah, it's so easy for me to be angry at my past self. How could you do that? How could, how could you make that choice? Couldn't you see?

You—

I know you did see. Why did you do it anyway? Yeah, and, you know, we do the best we can with who we are and what we know at the time. I— we just— it's a rare person in my life who's nasty on purpose for the fun of it.

Yeah. Terry?

Well, I actually read this at this group recently, the same one. That's so— it's such a great poem, Lynn. And now I don't even remember what I said about it, but those of you who have seen me before know that I had so many hints in the '80s about that I probably love women, but I just couldn't go there. So like, Lynn, you're like, I knew it, but I still went there anyway. So yeah, I'm— I've been grieving 40-some years of Being with men and not getting it, but people said you could have had dysfunctional relationships with women during that time too. So, yeah, so I have that poem on this little sill in my bathroom that I see every single day.

Sweet.

And it is the only poem that I have up except one called That Woman Is a Success. Anyway, thank you so much, Lynn.

And Roxy.

Yes, um, Lynn, I love that point that you brought up. I, I, I don't judge any of my friends that are women. I don't judge their wrinkles or their saggy skin or their imperfections or that they're learning lessons and they didn't do it perfectly. And, and in CGA, we talk about different parts, and I think this poem is absolutely amazing for that, like working, really making friends with all parts of myself, you know, the parts that I want to disown, the parts that I don't want anyone to see. And I've been really challenging myself, you know, to allow people to see those parts of me, you know, the part, the imperfections and, and letting people in. And it's, I know I worked at a place that called, it was called Intimacy, Into Me See, you know.

Mhmm.

And And also just loving and being gentle with myself and talking to myself like I would talk to somebody I care about and I love. And because I really believe the most important relationship I'll ever have is the one with me. I'm the one that picks the people that I put in my life, that picks the proximity that I put them in my life. You know, I'm the one that, that I'm 100% responsible for my life. So I want to be gentle and loving to myself because I can't beat myself up and pick myself up at the same time. I can't love myself and hate myself. So I just love this poem. It was challenging that part, those parts. So thank you.

All right. Are we ready for the next?

Roxy?

Yeah. Who wants to go next?

I know.

Don't be shy.

Okay.

I wrote a poem for Carolyn.

It—

she—

it's her birthday tomorrow. She'll be 82 years old. And I don't really like the word— oh, wait. Did you wanna say something, Julie?

No.

Nancy can go after you, Roxy. Nancy.

Oh, our Nancy.

Oh, Nancy, go ahead.

Okay.

Go ahead.

Okay.

I don't like the word old because to me, there's a lot of shame in that. We live in a society that we don't honor our our wise people before us. I know like the Japanese and other cultures are way better at it, but I think in here I want to celebrate this and I want to create a different community around this. And Carolyn, I've known— I met in this group and I just fallen in love with her. Like, she's just so wise. Like, one day I was saying— I was using the word asshole, and I said those people were being assholes to me. And I'm gonna— this is gonna make me cry— she said, no, Roxy, they're just unhealed. They're just unhealed. And, um, so she, she helps me become a better version of myself. So this poem is really, uh, her inspiring me. And happy birthday, my friend. Ode to the Wise Old Lesbian. I've become a woman who no longer apologizes for the space she occupies. I've kissed enough sunsets to know that every ending teaches This guide, how to become beautiful. These silver strands are not surrender. They are lighting the woven into my hair by decades of surviving.

Mm-hmm.

I've loved women boldly, poorly, passionately, and well. Some arrived as miracles. Some arrived as lessons. Every one of them left a fingerprint in my soul. I no longer chase what Runs from me. I no longer beg for what should be freely given. Peace has become the greatest romance of my life. My wrinkles are maps to laughter, grief, protest, recovery, and joy. I carry the stories of women who loved in whispers so I can love without lowering my voice. Call me a crone. Call me an elder. Call me weathered. I have earned every name except invisible. I'm still dancing. I'm still flirting, still creating, still becoming. I'm the woman my younger self was praying would someday exist. And if another woman finds her courage because she saw mine, then every scar, every heartbreak, every year was worth it. For I'm not growing old. I'm growing legend. And Carolyn is a legend. And you'll find out why. Oh my gosh.

That's beautiful, Roxy.

It is so gorgeous. And so what a way with words and with what you see outside and how you can put it into words. Words.

It's—

it's—

oh, thank you. Thank you. What a treasure.

Yes. Ode to Our Carolyn.

Yeah.

Awesome. Okay. Nancy has something, huh?

So this is a poem that I wrote on a recent experience. It's called My Journey. As life bumps along amidst laughter and tears, emotional pain and lost dreams, wandering dark days and lonely nights, longing for enduring joy. Invited, then uninvited, hugged, then pushed away, needing answers, ever searching. And then there I am, a phoenix rising once again from the ashes. Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, Nancy.

Darcy, back to you.

Okay, who wants to go next? I know there's lots of talent in this room. I know we have some singers and some artists, and who wants to share next?

Terry has a song.

Okay, you're up, Terry.

Okay, I have sung to you all before, right? I've started using y'all even though we don't say it in Colorado. It works. Um, this song is called The blues, they just can't get me no more. And if you want to sing along on the chorus with your mics off, because otherwise it'll be a cacophony.

Um, so the chorus says, because I'm healthy, I'm healthy, the blues, they just can't get me no more.

Okay.

The blues, I done left them, left them in the rain. I can see them back there melting And I'm never going back again because I'm healthy, I'm healthy. The blues, they just can't get me no more. Well, the blues are back, they're crying, crying in their shame. The blues, they feel like dying 'cause they got no one to blame. And me, I'm healthy, I'm healthy. The blues, they just can't get me no more. So when you see those blues a-waving, standing by the road, say, hey blues, you ain't worth saving. I got other roads to hoe. These ones are healthy, they're healthy. The blues, they just can't get me no more. I say I'm healthy, I'm healthy. The blues, they just can't get me no more.

Woohoo!

Gorgeous! Thank you. I think Angelina had something.

Is that true, my dear?

I did.

I do.

I wrote a song and then I put it in this app called Suno that pairs with music, but I am technically— technologically— I'm techno-challenged. So the only thing I can do is try to play it on my phone, but if it sounds terrible, let me know and I'll stop. Because you've all heard my poems before, I thought I would try something else. So I'll put it on low and hopefully you guys can hear it. And if not, just know I tried. Okay, let's try. Oops.

It's not coming through.

Okay, I tried. So, sadly, I've always wanted to write a song, and I'm super happy that I wrote a song, but I will Read you a poem instead. It's called Being Here Now. Being here now has always been challenging. Having no safe place, no family, I fell instead to food, welcomed into a soft Darkness or pain could not find me. Still longing for the touch to bring me home, I fell for men, then women, repeating my beginnings so familiar until the pain in my heart offered the chance to choose life, leading me to make peace with my crooked little self, allowing me safe passage into this world.

Awesome.

I have a question for you, Angelina. You, you are such a good poet, and you do a lot of writing. Can you tell us about your process? About writing?

I certainly can.

I—

when it just pours out of me, I just— I'm always writing or thinking about writing. I don't sleep well, and so in the middle of the night, it was the perfect time to write, so that's when I usually write. I'm sad that I can't share the song with you, but if I figure it out, I'll put it in the 60+ WhatsApp. So I live to create. It's the best when I'm creating. I'm not thinking about money or girlfriends or children or family. I'm just in the moment. And when I'm done and I feel good about something, I just feel so met by myself. So yeah, thank you for asking, Roxy. Yeah, I hope—

well, I have something to share, Roxy.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna sign a song. Oh, I can pull it up. Let's see, um, it was on here.

You look again.

Un momento. Maybe somebody else can go while I try to pull it up.

I know that, Jen, not to call you out, but I know you're an amazing artist, and I've been dying to see some of your art. Would you be willing to show us some of your art?

Which Jen? Jennifer Griffith, both.

Yes, I know Jen the artist. I don't know if Jennifer up in Northern California is an artist, but I know you are. So I'd love to see everyone, anyone's art too.

Yes, I'd be happy to show my art, but what I usually do is it's something I put together on Canva so you can see the progression of all the different series.

But I'll, we'll do that again, Pierce.

Okay, I can do it again in a quicker deal than before.

Okay, you mean a different time than now?

Yeah, right.

Yeah, sounds good. Let's see what this is. Uh-oh, I'm sharing my screen.

Okay, hopefully I don't have anything. And Jen, is there anything you put in the chat that you would be willing to share today?

Well, both men—

Um, Maureen and Jennifer have their hand up, so Jennifer probably has something. And, um, I think I might have my, um, my music up. I'm gonna try it. Okay.

Alrighty.

Okay, I'm gonna sign it in American Sign Language. This is a song I just love. It's like unreleased. You can't find it on Spotify or anything, and it just meant a whole lot to me after my son died. Would bring tears when I'd hear it, and it's just a beautiful uplifting song. So let's see if it plays or not. Wait a minute. Let's go over here.

Can you hear it? Can you hear something?

No.

No.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, let me try one more time.

Oh, I—

that's because I have to do it on the share part. Hold on. Um, let me stop the share and let's go on to Maureen while I try and figure it out again.

Alrighty, Maureen.

Hi.

Um, one, something that I like to do when I come across various sayings or little poems or quips or whatever. So, um, I have a couple here. Um, the first one is, you are right where you are meant to be. Everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Your job is to breathe, be kind to yourself, and quietly do what needs to be done. I like that one. It's a reminder: keep it simple and carry on. This other one, uh, It's titled Friends Are Like Panties. Hold on a second. Okay. Some crawl up your butt. Some don't have strength to hold you up. Some get a little twisted.

Some are cheap.

Some are naughty. And some actually cover your butt when you need them to.

I love that.

Oh, I love that too. I'm glad it's being recorded.

Are we allowed to comment and share, Maureen? Because I really have—

I really— I want to say Of course.

Oh, I wanna say that I— one of my goals when coming to CGA was to build my community of— I have a lot of wonderful straight friends, but I wanted to build a community of lesbian friends. And I don't know if anybody has been through this, but when you're building a new group of friends, not all of them are gonna take. Not all of them are the best people. Are the right choices for me, because I don't know about you guys, but I get pickier as I get older, and CGA has taught me a lot about really listening to my nervous system. So that poem is so perfect because that's my experience. Some are naughty, some are, you know, I love it. So thank you so much. I'd love a copy of that.

Okay. See what I can Yeah, I'd love a copy of that as well. That is beautiful. I love that. I have a twisted sense of humor too.

So, yeah. I heard you're naughty.

Me too.

4 people that wanna share. So let's, let's move because I wanna have time for everybody. Jennifer.

Well, good morning. I too am an artist, but I did not take up art until 2015. I took a leap of faith after a year after I was divorced. I quit my job to return to school. I wanted to go get my degree, a bachelor's, so I can teach in the cosmetology program that I had studied in. I had been working as a hairdresser for 3 years, and it was taking me nowhere. And so one of the first classes I took, I thought, I've always wanted to learn how to draw. And so I started taking this art class and I really got into it. And the teacher, he looked at me and he said, you know, just keep going, just whatever you— because my stuff was terrible when I started. And so the piece that I'm about to show you is one of the first things that I drew and painted freehand. And I was very proud of it. And he gave me a piece of wood one day and said, do something with it. And I said, what do you want me to do? He goes, whatever you want to do. And I said, okay, great. So I decided to do a painting on wood, and it was a piece of blonde wood. And so this is it. It's my ship. I don't know if you can see it.

Wow.

I wanted it to look like a wood burning because when I was a little kid, my mother wouldn't let me have a wood burning tool when my brother, older brother, was doing it. She didn't want me to burn myself. And so, uh, I wanted to make it look like, uh, wood burning, which I thought was pretty successful. And, uh, like I said, the piece of wood, it was very white when I first did it. And then in 2019, it was hanging on my wall during a house fire, and it changed.

It—

the thing was completely blackened. And I thought, oh my gosh, I've lost the only piece of art that I really, really liked that I did was my first, first one that I loved, actually. And, uh, I was heartbroken. And so I thought, you know what, wait a minute, this is acrylic. This stuff lasts. It's pretty tough. And so I took it into a kitchen sink with a, with some Dawn and a little scrubby brush, and I just scrubbed the shit out of it. And it came through and it changed. The wood is darkened, but I think it adds to the mood. of the piece because before it was kind of flat. Now it has more dimension. So this is a piece I'm really proud of, and it just, um, it's kind of a symbol of my resilience, of getting through the divorce, getting through quitting that job, getting my degrees— 3 college degrees, valedictorian— and I had just done some cool stuff, and I'm just so proud of it. Um, it just reminds me that I'm a I'm strong, and I can do anything.

Yeah. Thank you, man. Oh, call it a badass.

I know.

There you are, Pierce.

I've been wanting to say aho too.

I heard you.

Aho.