Lesbian Dating: Is It An Oxymoron? Do We Really Have To? If So, How? #sapphic #lesbian

6 Sept 2025 · 3 min

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This content was created by Ruth L. Schwartz. This content was uploaded by Ruth L. Schwartz. This is a YouTube video titled "Lesbian Dating: Is It An Oxymoron? Do We Really Have To? If So, How? #sapphic #lesbian" (uploaded 2025-09-06). The excerpt is a single-speaker monologue in which the presenter discusses patterns in lesbian dating—particularly rapid emotional bonding—shares personal anecdotes about repeatedly bonding too quickly, and proposes an alternative approach called "lesbian dating." The speaker promotes a course, "Lesbian Dating Essentials," and the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, an online school/community for lesbians, queer women, and adjacent queer people offering dating and relationship skills. The content is advice-oriented and promotional, aimed at people seeking healthier, lasting relationships.

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So I want to talk about lesbian dating and whether that's even an oxymoron. Do lesbians date? Do women who love women date? Why is it that we have such a tendency to meet somebody, feel a spark, start feeling like she's the one, and then just dive into a relationship? You know, there is a reason why nobody jokes about straight people or gay men bringing a U-Haul on the second date. And most of us have That whether we literally have moved that fast with a new person, or whether we've just emotionally moved that fast, we do have a tendency as women who love women to bond really fast. Now, bonding is ecstatic. Bonding is exquisite. And as women or people with female hormones, we are wired to bond. We're designed to bond. But what effect does it really have on us and our precious relationships when we bond so fast? And what alternative is there? Well, I want to present to you the concept of lesbian dating, and as a, as a truly viable alternative. If you have ever had the experience of having it feel so right so fast and then going down that rabbit hole Only to find after a number of weeks or months, maybe even years, but often this all plays out in less than a year, that you have bonded with sticky lesbian super glue to the wrong person again. And believe me, I am telling you my life story. I have done that a whole bunch of times. And so that is why I realized eventually I had to understand why I kept doing that. And how I could do it differently so I wouldn't keep setting myself up for heartbreak and pain and disappointment over and over and over again. So that is why I now teach a course called Lesbian Dating Essentials in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, which is, to my knowledge, the world's only online school and community designed for lesbians, queer women, adjacent queer people, designed for us, for our community, to help us understand and learn and practice the skills of healthy dating and love so that we can actually get the outcomes we want— the beautiful, trust-filled, harmonious, drama-free, passionate, stable, loving, lasting relationships that most of us deeply want and deserve but have felt stuck about how to get to. If that sounds like you, come check out the Conscious Girlfriend Academy. We have so many resources and so much support for you, and you deserve it.