Ruth L. Schwartz guides you through breath-based visualization to rebuild self-trust and self-compassion after a toxic relationship. The meditation emphasizes forgiveness, clarity, and reframing past wounds as sources of growth and compassion within queer community.
Chapters
So if you have had a toxic lesbian relationship or more than one, you know how devastating they can be and how they can mess with your sense of self and your sense of well-being for years or even forever. They can shake your trust in yourself. They can shake your trust in love, in life, in God or the universe as you understand them. And of course, in women. So I want you to get that trust back. But actually, it needs to be a different kind of trust because a lot of us started out with blind trust, like a kind of faith that actually included a fair amount of denial or fantasy. I want to offer you a vision of reality That is really quite different. So close your eyes if it's safe for you to do that. Take a deep breath in and out. And I invite you to picture this along with me. In this reality, which can be your reality in the future, you can really trust yourself. Ah. Because you know yourself well, and you genuinely accept and like yourself. You're aware of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and your old places of pain and how they show up. And as you move through the world, you're also inwardly attending to them all the time with self-compassion. That means you're able to celebrate your own progress. and strengths, and really see how miraculously far you've come with what you were given in life. And as you see that, you're able to bathe yourself with a deep, tender appreciation for who you are. Which also includes an honest assessment of your growth edges, your weaknesses, your areas where you're still a work in progress. And in this vision, just take a moment, really take in this part about your relationship with yourself. Breathing in and breathing out is like saying, may it be so. Okay, next part of this vision. In this future reality, that can be yours if you choose. You're also really well supported on the outside. You've got a whole bevy of lesbian and queer friends and a community who are your cheerleaders, who really see you and love you as you are, and who also hold you accountable to your most aligned life. These are growth-oriented, conscious, compassionate, loving, warm-hearted lesbians and queer people who are on your They are your teammates in this journey of life and love that you're on. So take another deep breath into that one. Let your out-breath release anything that gets in the way. Again, this in-breath and out-breath is like saying, may it be so. Okay, next part of the visualization. So in this future reality, which again can be yours if you choose it, when you think about your past relationships, you can remember the sense of that pain you went through. You can even remember what a gaping wound it felt like at times, and all the times that you were afraid it would never ever be able to heal. You felt like, I could never get over this. And yet now you can sense the way it has healed over because you deeply understand both what happened and why, how you contributed to it, and you forgive yourself so deeply that you're able to hug yourself now for all the pain and confusion you went through. And have the relief of knowing you will never have to go through that level of hurt again. In fact, it wouldn't even be possible for you to go through it again, because now you have the clarity, strength, wisdom, discernment, and resourcing both inside of yourself and outside of yourself to prevent it. It's like raising the temperature of your psyche so high that certain bacteria or viruses simply couldn't survive in that environment. And in this state, you are fine being single because you feel whole and connected. And you also know without a shadow of a doubt that you can attract and choose and create a truly healthy intimate relationship if and when you want to. So let's take another deep breath into that. Again, let your out-breath help release whatever needs to get released, knowing that in this breathing you are saying inwardly and outwardly, may it be so. So in this future reality, which again can be yours if you choose it, When you think about your ex or your exes, it no longer hurts or even stings. You don't feel angry. You don't feel a sense of anything unfinished. Rather, you feel a deep sense of peace around everything that happened, and even the scars that it all left you with, because they mark such deep. Places of learning. Maybe you have contact with her. Maybe you don't. Maybe she's someone with whom it would be destructive to have contact. Maybe you've forgiven her, or maybe she did things that are really not forgivable in this life. Either way, what matters is that you are strong, clear, Whole and free now in ways you never could have even imagined. And for that, you are deeply grateful. And in fact, although there may be a part of you that wishes you hadn't had to go through so much pain, another part of you recognizes this journey, including the pain, as an essential part of your life's arc, your life's work, the work that your soul came to this earth to engage in, and as something that has strengthened and taught you immeasurably, through which you can now bring greater good to the rest of lesbian-kind, women-kind, humankind, and beyond, because you have so much more compassion. For those around you, so much more understanding. The wound has now become the gift.
