In this video, Ruth Schwartz, author of Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love and director of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, addresses lesbian and queer women who are single despite actively seeking a relationship. She explains why many women feel blocked from love, highlighting two primary internal obstacles: (1) a lack of congruence between the desire for love and an inner sense of readiness, often stemming from unresolved, emotionally intense breakups; and (2) an unclear vision of the kind of relationship they truly want, including living arrangements, commitment level, sexual intimacy, and overall fulfillment. Schwartz emphasizes that these unconscious blocks can keep women single even when they appear ready on the surface. She then introduces the Academy’s resources—a free ebook on “5 Heartbreaking Mistakes Lesbians Make,” various free and paid classes, and a 12‑module “12‑Week Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating and Lasting Love”—as tools to help women heal, clarify their relationship goals, and consciously create the love they desire. The video ends with an encouraging call to action, inviting viewers to explore the Academy and begin their journey toward intentional, lasting love.
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Hello. Today's video is for you if you are a lesbian or queer woman, or woman who loves women, however you define yourself. And if you are single and you feel like you're open to love and you've been looking for love maybe for quite a while and you're not finding it, the right woman just isn't showing up. And you might be wondering, what does this mean? Am I just not meant to have a relationship? Is she just not out there? So I want to help you have the right answers to these questions because it's so incredibly painful and frustrating to have this experience when you feel like you are ready, you are available, and yet it's almost like life is blocking you from this experience you want. I've been there, and I help women from all around the world make their way through this kind of challenge. I'm Ruth Schwartz. I am the author of this book, Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love, and I'm the director of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, which is actually the leading global resource helping women who love women to date wisely and love well. So if you're not already familiar with the Academy, definitely check us out. We have a free ebook you can get, 5 Heartbreaking Mistakes Lesbians Make and What to Do Instead. And we have lots of classes available, including free classes that you can watch to really get the education that your heart needs for the love you want. That's what the Academy exists to help you have and do. So back to this question about what keeps women single when you don't want to be. Um, oftentimes there is a lack of congruence between your desire for love and your inner felt sense of readiness. And this can come about for a whole lot of reasons. Oftentimes what I see is that lesbian breakups are really hard. They can be among the most shattering experiences on the planet because 2 women together can bond so deeply. That when we part, it can be like, you know, if you're, you're separating 2 objects that were joined with super glue. It's really messy. Not all the time, but often. So if you've been through one or more of those kinds of breakups, that's one thing that can potentially get in the way of your being ready for new love if you haven't really Made peace with what happened, understood how you co-created it, forgiven yourself, and learned whatever lessons there were in that relationship for you so that you know for sure you're not going to do that one again. Life is full of lessons, but I personally like to have new lessons rather than the same lessons over and over and over. And if you are afraid that the difficulties in your last relationship just happened to you, you don't really understand why they happened or what role you might have played, it's really hard to feel empowered going out and looking for new love because how can you know it's not going to just happen again? So that's one big thing I see. Another big thing is that many times women in our community haven't really been taught that we get to make up the kind of relationship that we want. And it's kind of funny because, you know, as lesbians and queer women, we're already living lives that are not what our parents expected us to live. And yet oftentimes We don't realize— you might not realize that you get to decide. Do you want to live with somebody? How often do you want to see somebody? How much do you want to socialize with her? How deep do you want to go? What do you want your commitment to look like? What do you want your sex life to look like? What would constitute a really satisfying, fulfilling sex life for you? And a whole bunch of other things about relationship vision. If you're not clear on that, It's going to be hard to create, to find and create the relationship that you want, and deep inside you probably know that, and yet you haven't been sure how to do it differently. So those are a couple of the things that I see that can create kind of unconscious blocks where you feel like you're really putting yourself out there, you feel like you're really ready, And yet it's not happening. So if this is resonating for you, I hope you'll come check us out at the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, consciousgirlfriendacademy.com. We have so many resources that can help you, including a 12-module class called the 12-Week Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating and Lasting Love, which can really get you from wherever you are now to the place you want to be. And that's where I want to see you be, the place you want to be. That's what I'm here for, and that's what the Conscious Girlfriend Academy is here to help you do. Okay, lots of love. See you on the other side.
