This content was created by Ruth L. Schwartz. This content was uploaded by Ruth L. Schwartz. This is a YouTube video titled "The Triple Whammy That Dooms Most Lesbian Relationships (And What To Do)" (created 2025-08-22). It features Ruth Schwartz, director of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, delivering a solo talk that identifies three factors that commonly doom lesbian relationships—(1) dating when one or both people aren't ready, (2) bonding quickly on chemistry without truly knowing each other, and (3) reacting to emotional triggers instead of responding with curiosity and compassion. The speaker shares personal experience and promotes an upcoming class, "Lesbian Dating Essentials," which aims to teach readiness, how to recognize a partner's readiness, skillful dating practices, and strategies for working with triggers.
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So there is a triple whammy that dooms most lesbian relationships before they even have a chance, and I have lived out all 3 of these factors. I want to go over them with you so you know whether you have too. Factor number 1 of the triple whammy is dating when you're not actually ready, or you're dating somebody else who's not actually ready, or neither one of you is actually ready. Factor number two is you bond right away based on chemistry, sparks, soul connection without really understanding who each other is and what you're seeking and capable of giving in a relationship. Factor number three: when the triggers hit and you start feeling hurt or scared or Angry, you get reactive rather than getting curious and compassionate and empathetic. So any one of those three factors can doom a relationship. But if you've got all three, the relationship is definitely doomed. And believe me, I speak from experience. I remember once driving to a friend. First date, messaging my last girlfriend in tears on the way. Now, we were not together at that point, but I still had feelings. And then that first date was so magical. And during the date, the woman I was on the date with put her hand on my leg, and I felt stuff. And then afterward, we sat in my car and kissed, and I felt more stuff. And I just dove in. You know, I thought I knew who she was, and I thought I was going to be able to get ready in time. But then when the triggers hit, we found ourselves lost in these kind of sticky emotional spider webs of hurt and pain and confusion and fear. And I bet you've been there too. Lesbians, we love hard, and often we love unwisely. And I am on a mission to help us change that. My name is Ruth Schwartz. I'm the director of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy. And if you can relate to any one or two or all three of these whammies that can doom a relationship, I've got good news for you. We've got a class coming up called the Lesbian Dating Essentials, and it is going to help you, first of all, get ready. Second of all, recognize who else is ready. Third of all, date her skillfully so that you're not just rushing into attachment. You're actually understanding who she is and whether she wants and is capable of what you want and whether you're capable of it. And third of all, learning how to work with your triggers when they come up so that you can actually get generous and curious and compassionate so you stand a chance of working things out rather than messing things up. This is what you will learn in the Lesbian Dating Essentials class. And believe me, I teach what my heart needed to know for so long. I went through so much pain because nobody was offering me a class like this. And that's why I am on a mission to heal and uplevel the lesbian and queer women's community one heart at a time. So I hope to see you in Lesbian Dating Essentials.
