Jerome approaches a woman by firing off questions, but the dating coach stops him: stop extracting value and start offering it. Comment on her style, share how she makes you feel, build connection before asking for her number.
How you doing? What's your name? Tiana. Nice to meet you, Tiana. Jerome. What year you in? How old you, like 19?
Too many questions. Instead of trying to take value from them, actually go in there, offer value, offer your perspective about what you notice about them. Obviously, when you first go in there, you're going to notice something that they're wearing, their fashion sense. We'll talk about their fashion sense and how that actually makes you feel and dispel your knowledge.
Why you looking at me weird? I'm bothering you?
I didn't say that.
What you all doing here?
I'm bothering you? You're already assuming that you're bothering them and you're Your perception actually shapes not only your reality, but then the person you're talking to. So even if she never really thought of anything like that, because he's actually choosing to present himself like that, that's how she starts perceiving it. The moment you actually genuinely start integrating that it's an opportunity for them to get to know you as well as the other way around, everything changes.
I thought you was attractive, so I forgot completely.
When a guy approaches a girl, a lot of the time the girl knows what's up just by the way you're acting. They can sense it without you actually having to explicitly state that I thought attractive. He's tried to keep her attention for a long time. He understands that there's a bit of a wall, so he's like, okay, you know what, like, I'm just gonna tell her that I thought she looked attractive. Obviously, that's not really gonna work in this case.
If I get your number, that's too much. I don't want your number. Why not? Well, it's nice to meet you. You sure about the number?
Obviously, numbers don't mean anything if you don't actually build a strong emotional connection with the person you're in front of you. Just because you're being persistent doesn't mean that it's necessarily gonna change anything for you. It's about building that emotional connection with her first, her feeling seen and heard and understood, and her actually feeling like, wow, that was such an unforgettably fun, playful, and meaningful experience that I want to repeat again and again. Then giving her number away just becomes an afterthought.
