She Was Hooked, But He Still Lost Her (Cold Approach Analysis)

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's a bit of embarrassing.

Oh no, are you from Oxford? No, no, you're American?

Yeah.

Are you American? No, no, Italian. I know, and I heard the sort of thick accent. Is there any place you'd recommend nearby? Something maybe arty or really nice, like to visit? To visit, have a look at something, to just explore.

Wait, she didn't reveal to you where she's from, or did she?

I think she did. She said she's Italian. It was very quick.

Italian. Okay, I see. Okay, let me, let me look at— let me do that again. But that's, uh, I like that approach a lot actually. Are you okay? You know, that's the best one.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's a bit embarrassing.

Oh no. Are you from Oxford? No, no, you're American.

I would have been like, damn, I should have filmed that, you know, it would have been a good TikTok, you know, like post, right?

Yeah, that would have been more funny.

Yeah, but yeah.

Are you American? No, no, Italian. Oh no, and I heard this little thick accent. Is there any place you'd recommend nearby?

Yeah, here. Yeah, that's why I didn't catch it. Yeah, I heard it now. She said Italian and you're like, oh, Italian, okay, and then you just You just kind of like brushed it off, right? Like, really, like, that's like one of the, the, the hacks, brother. Like, when someone feels like, where they're from, right? It's almost like there's like such a crazy richer story to be unfold here, right? Okay, Italian vibing in Oxford, like, like, what are you, are you lost? Are you trying to get into Oxford? Like, on here, right? Trying to ice cream parlor, like, what is it, right? That's what I'm wondering, right? What is an Italian doing here, right? Why do you have an American accent? Like, why is that? See, curiosity is a form of love. But I'm just like, it's not just me just asking the question, oh, what are you doing here then, right? The way, the literally the way I've expressed it now, right, there's like a story. I'm like literally imagining like whatever is coming To me, whatever I'm downloading, I'm literally expressing that. But like, there's a story, there's like a— there's a— I'm painting a picture here, right? It's like, okay, is this and this— like, what is it? What are you doing here, right? Don't, don't move on quickly, right? Like, dig deeper, right?

Yeah.

Something maybe arty or really nice, like to visit, or to visit, have a look at something, just explore.

Uh, have you been before?

No, I'm kind of walking around aimlessly hoping to just find something.

But you're, you're asking this as like a bridge, right? Like you don't know how to like really transition.

Exactly. I just keep going to the tourist routes trying to have a conversation about where to go rather.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say this is something that you can practice with. Like if you genuinely want to like warm up, that's— there's no there's no problem there. But then the vibe is like, if we started working together, I would actually ask you to embrace being a bit more cheeky, right? Either go like really direct, or you can use these like, hey, like, do you know, happen to know like a very artsy store? And she starts telling you like, I gotta be really honest, you know, like, I don't give a fuck about this, you know. Sometimes like I get a little bit nervous, I'm like, I want to like keep keep the conversation going. And, you know, just like, like, but what am I, what am I kidding here? Like, art store, man?

Like, I'm not—

I don't give a fuck about that. I, uh, yeah, just, I just thought, uh, yeah, I just want to keep the combo going, right? Slow down. Okay, so Italian, right? You're telling me. So what are you doing here? Like, you're trying to open a, like, a pizza place? I mean, we do have— we could, we could use a bit of, like, pizza here. You know, like, I can't find a good place. Or you're trying to like enter Oxford and they tell you, it's like, hold on a second, like, why do you not have an Italian accent, right? Like, where's like pizza, pasta, you know? Like, why are you not speaking?

Yeah, right.

What's going on, right? Get inside their world, right? See, this version is like way more cheeky, right? Yeah. So essentially, I would love you to embrace that vibe. 'Cause here, your vibe is very careful. You're coming across as a guy who doesn't want to fuck things up. It's like, oh, I spotted an amazing opportunity. That was like an amazing opener, right? Like, the entry was great. And then like, she's hooked, right? And then she's like a little bit embarrassed and you're like carrying on the conversation. You're like, I don't want to fuck up. Like, I want to like keep it going. Where do I— what do I even talk about? Okay, I'm gonna use something, right? That's kind of like where your brain is going, right? Um, but at a certain point I would just like drop that, right? I'd be like, okay, let me be real, really real here, live, you know? And that, that can be very refreshing actually, you know? And they're like, oh, okay, yeah, okay, okay, this guy's quite cute. Like, you know, that's, that's quite cheeky. I like that, you know?

Yeah, college, yeah, would be good. I'd recommend uni, college, college, yeah. You know, like, do you know about the university?

No, I don't. Okay, Oxford University is such a big thing in this area. Yeah, so okay, I'm getting less than this.

Okay, 41, I think, colleges.

You're joking.

Wait, so I would be like, okay, so you're telling me all these things and you're Italian, but so you go to university here? Like, you're like more of a, like, uh I don't know what that word is, but like a native Oxford person, Oxfordian, than me, you know? What's going on? Get inside the world, right? Okay, well, she starts telling you, like, she starts elaborating, oh, you gotta go this, this, this, this, this. Okay, let me drop the bullet here, right? Like, I don't care about it, right?

And what are the two that I know? New College and Magdalen College. Are really, really pretty. I recommend visiting. They have like a small price you have to pay to get in, like £2 to get in.

Oh, is that the— I saw something like that. You sort of have this massive garden.

I would have been like, you, you come, you, you come up, you come across as like, uh, one of those people that give, uh, like walking tours, you know, just like so important, like, and you speak like, like, are you like a spy or something? Like, why do you speak like this, right? Can you actually speak in an Italian accent? Can you teach me, right? Like, way more fun, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we're not just talking about like hypotheticals. Like, like, we're talking about her, you know? What is she most interested in in this world? Her, right? Her, herself, right? What are you most interested in this world? You, right? Everyone is more like the most interested in themselves, right?

Right.

And that's what you really care about. You want to get to know her, right? That's it, you know. That's it. The earlier you— the earlier you do that, the better. The longer you delay it, the harder it becomes, right?

Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, I think—

is that something like that, or am I just straight off the platform?

I mean, like, this is a college. Yeah. Nice. I wouldn't recommend paying to visit it. Okay, there's some other nice stores. Okay, you want something kind of—

you don't recommend paying to visit it, so like, you know, like the secret vibe. Okay, tell me the secret. What's the secret here? I feel like you're one of the people that just kind of like— there's like the mainstream vibe, but like, you know the real vibes here, right? Okay, like, and then like you qualify, and then it's like a qualifier, right? And then he's— and then get to know more about her. It's like, okay, what do you do? Plant the seed and then like, yeah, incinerate, you know, and incinerate essentially, right?

And free, there's the Natural History Museum, like right down there, that big thing there, um, like right before the kind of round building on the right. Okay, it should have a whiteboard by Einstein, like, okay, stuff written by Einstein on it. Last time I tried to bring someone in, the whiteboard down.

Okay, okay.

So I don't know. Um, amazing.

Yeah, okay, awesome. Thank you, really appreciate it. Likewise, take care.

So I mean, she looked pretty cute. You didn't want to continue the conversation or you felt kind of stuck?

I think I felt sort of stuck. Yeah, yeah. I was gutted in the car. I think I should have tried again. I should have tried to sort of be a bit more emotional.

Yeah, here it's pretty clear, right? Like You've kind of hooked her, and great job. You know, like most guys, like, they don't even know how to approach, bro. Just going out there recording with the Ray-Bans, that's already like, uh, I mean, I, I just love your initiative. I really, really acknowledge that. That's, that's, that's just like amazing here, right? Like, that was like, uh, the opening was there. She fell, right? She was like, oh, like embarrassing. Yeah, like pretty embarrassing right there, you know, right? Like you could have like pushed her, right? Here you didn't really find out anything about her. Everything— every, every time someone like approaches like a girl, and like I always ask them, okay, what'd you find out about her? I don't care like where she went to school, how old she is, what it like, what ethnicity she is. Like, no, I don't care about any of that. Like, what did you actually find out about her? You know, what is her vibe like and why? You know, what kind of stories were exchanged, right? Here, like, I don't know, what did you find out about her?

Nothing really other than her being Italian. Nothing.

You just know that there's some, there's some hints, like, she seems to know a lot about these different colleges here, right? She's Italian, but she doesn't have an Italian accent. She has more of an American accent. So like, those things are like clues, and you could have actually used them to go way deeper, right? And then basically, like, like, you get inside the world. Okay, so like, okay, you know a lot about here, so like, how long have you been here then, right? Like a tourist? You're like, don't tell me. Actually, yeah, I feel like you're just, uh, you came here originally as a student. And then you kind of got like, you kind of got sucked into the whole ecosystem, right? And then you started like, like you started writing the PhD thesis and you kind of got lost in the whole mix and here you are, you know, true or not? You know, you're kind of like painting like a whole picture, right? Exactly. And then she's telling, oh, actually no, that's funny. And then she starts, actually, actually, spot on, she is this. And then she starts telling you, okay, all right. And then you keep it going, right? And then if she's hooked, if she's hooked enough, she's got to ask questions about you, right? So what about you? Okay, take a guess. Do I seem like someone from here? What's my story here? You know, way more, way more intriguing, right? Instead of just being like, oh, it's just this, this, this, this, this, right? Hooking them. Yeah, that makes sense, right? Um, yeah, so that's the vibe.

Anything else?

Any other questions on this?

Nothing. You spot on. Just there's so much more I could have expanded on this. So endless conversations I could have had.

Yep. Cool.

So this is a classic vibe where let's say like if we were calling on WhatsApp, right? And then I have your phone, I'd be like, okay, cool. Again, don't go anywhere.

Okay.

Right. Like as she's explaining, okay, just tell her, like, I would literally, I literally be like, yeah. Okay. Hey, I gotta be honest with you. I gotta be really honest with you. Right, sometimes it's like hard to find the right moment, but I'm just gonna tell you, fuck it, right? I don't give a fuck about that. Sometimes like I just like, sometimes I feel like I need it in order for me to continue the conversation. I need to like come up with something, but like, yeah, no, like I just like, I mean, you look pretty cute and you know, here I am, keep going, right? Okay, say that.

That would have taken That would take more of an emotional connection route.

Huh?

That would be more of an emotional connection route.

I mean, the whole thing is emotional connection. You've seen all my videos, right?

Yeah, yeah.

What makes, what makes like the vibes so like, what makes the vibes like really tick? And like what makes like the girls actually invite me out, right, to meet them, right? I don't know if you've seen the Ukrainian model. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, man. It's the emotional connection, right? It's— and it's like, it's almost like before they didn't even expect anything, and then all of a sudden they're like, holy shit, like, there's— at first it was like a random guy, and then like, okay, it's like an interesting conversation, and then, okay, I feel like he kind of gets me, and we're talking about things that I never even talked about with anyone before, right? Wow, I feel like I also kind of get him. Okay, wow, it's actually really fun. I've never been so seen, heard, and understood before. I feel like, I feel like I'm really heard, and I feel like I— it's just like the vibe keeps amplifying. It's fun. Okay, I want to repeat this experience. Of course, you know, it's an opportunity. Give them this gift, your gift of presence. Curiosity, right? And energy. Curiosity, the most powerful things, right? That's the one that really drives a lot of my, a lot of my vibes, right? And a lot of my clients' vibes. And this is what I— this is, this is probably the main thing that I would, I would, uh, I would really, really help you get a firm handle on, actually. How do you actually express your curiosity, right? And how do you really cut the bullshit and just like go straight into what you really care about, you know?

Yeah, cool.