The video captures a raw street interaction in Bangkok where coach Stephen approaches a young Belarusian model, engages in a spontaneous conversation, and then provides an extensive debrief. Stephen frames cold‑approaching not merely as a dating tactic but as a practice for confronting fear, uncovering limiting beliefs, and building self‑worth. He links this to his broader "Soul Game" coaching, which encourages clients to consciously design new personal characters for the coming year, emphasizing radical action, momentum, and the creation of opportunities in everyday life. Throughout the debrief he critiques modern digital loneliness, the loss of offline social rituals, and common excuses (busy schedules, introversion) that prevent people from taking action. He cites examples of past participants (Siggy, Brendon) who transformed their lives by adopting new personas and moving to new locations. The interaction with the model serves as a live case study, illustrating cultural exchange, language barriers, and the practical application of his coaching principles.
Chapters
Yeah, I can say hi, for example, right? Excuse me, excuse me, do you speak English?
Yes.
Yeah, I just saw you and you have a very unique energy about you.
Me?
Yeah. No, you don't believe that about yourself?
Yeah, I personally believe myself, but not now.
No, no, no, no, I just saw you, right? I was talking to my friend and then you just walked by and then Obviously you're not Asian, right? So that is interesting. But like, I just— something about you, you caught my eye. So I wanted to come say hello.
Oh, thank you.
What's your name? Yeah, I'm a shy guy, of course.
I don't see that you're a shy guy.
Super shy guy.
If you're a shy guy, you would be a good talker.
Oh, I'm just hot, you know? I'm shy hot, you know? Reflecting on this year, I never thought that I would be here in Bangkok. Doing this type of work. I imagined that I would do this type of work like somewhere else, right? I've done this in London and other parts of the world, but here doing this with you, meeting you and doing this, like, it's been— it's just been so much fun. And just like really empowering guys like Ziggy, Brendon, like all the other guys that came out here and actually taking radical action to actually create something, as you said, quite magical. It was so magical to see. And I was actually having a chat with my mom the other day, and she always like asks me, hey, so like, like, I, I always like question, kind of question what you're doing, right? It's like, isn't love something that's just supposed to happen just kind of randomly, you know, like at some point, you know? And then my answer to her was that, yeah, it'd be nice if it happened like that, but right now the reality is that, you know, technology's evolving super rapidly. The world is getting more digitally connected, but actually because of that, people feel, um, quite lonely. And then they feel like, you know, it's just like the idea of walking up to someone saying hello, it's strange, you know. Whereas back in the day, it was something that people used to do. People used to knock on their doors, you know, a lot, right? Bring supplies to neighbors and communicate offline. Exactly. They don't have any other opportunity. Exactly. So that's completely gone. And now when I think about the examples of someone like Siggy, Brendon, like all these guys. Siggy's a great example because he actually created a new character with us, right? He practiced all these different accents, right? Indian accent, Italian accent, and then the British accent. We pointed someone out to him and then he approaches her right here. And then he literally moved here to build his dream relationship with her. And yeah, that is a testament, right? That's like proof that Okay, sometimes life gives you these opportunities, but then if you're not there to actually capitalize on it, if you don't know how to do it, then opportunities are gone. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, so for me, for me, it's like really interesting to really reflect on that, right? And, you know, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of guys, like also like high achieving guys, you know, guys who are interested in this type of work, they ask me Hey, Stephen, a lot of your work seems to really focus on walking up to strangers, cold approaching. Why is that? Well, here's the main thing. The main context has always been around helping people create their dream relationships, but it actually starts from actually understanding, repairing your relationship with yourself, your self-worth, achieving this level of self-acceptance and self-love. Once you have that, then yeah, you can actually express this love with others, right? And the idea is that, right, like they're like, "Hey, I'm a really busy guy. I don't even have time to walk up to someone and say hello." And to that I call bullshit, right? You have time to go have breakfast. Yeah, you drink your coffee, matcha, right? You go for a walk, right? And the reality is that How many beautiful women you actually just walk by, you don't even notice that? To you, it's not even a possibility because for you it's just not the thing to do, right? And the reason why we emphasize this work right now is that this is the type of work that really helps you face your fears head on. And because you're facing your fears, if I get someone to say hello to that someone, right, and they're fearing that because of fear of rejection, fear of like, I don't know, fear of judgment or whatever, we actually get a deeper understanding of what kind of limiting beliefs that person has. And then from there we can actually understand, okay, why you have these limiting beliefs. Okay, you actually say hello. What actually happens when you actually own your fear and then go say hello anyway, right? So it's actually one of the most powerful ways for you to kind of face what's holding you back, and then you actually cause that breakthrough, you know, through taking radical action or inaction. If you don't know how, sometimes you— it stops you, you don't know how to do that. And like, and then we actually get to work on, okay, what is it? It's not necessarily that, hey, you're going to meet that special someone here, but it's just so that we help you embrace this way of being. We help you become someone who who's generous enough to give your gift of your presence, time, and energy to anytime, anywhere, so that once you're in this momentum, next time you're catching your flight to go to Paris, next time you're on your way to go to your meeting, you happen to stop by a cafe, right? And you see that person, you have that momentum, you can say hello, right? You can actually capitalize and create that opportunity., right? That's what this work is about mainly, right? And I'm so happy that a few of these guys, right, our investor clients, our coach clients, software engineering clients, lawyer clients, they all came out here and did this work in person, right, to actually create these types of possibilities, right? And yeah, I can say hi, for example, right? Excuse me, excuse me, do you speak English?
Yes.
Yeah, I just saw you and you have a very unique energy about you. Me? Yeah. No, you don't believe that about yourself?
Yeah, I personally believe myself, but not now.
No, no, no, I just saw you, right? I was talking to my friend and then you just walked by, and then obviously you're not Asian, right? So, so that, that is That is interesting. But like, I just— something, something about you, you caught my eye, so I wanted to come say hello.
Oh yeah, thank you.
What's your name? Steven.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too.
I just assumed that— I just assumed that you speak, uh, English right away. I just assumed that. I should have asked you.
No, I think a lot of international guys here speak English.
That's true. And you're from Russia?
No, I'm not.
Ukraine?
No, but near Poland? No, in the center of this country.
Romania?
No, Belarus, you know, Belarus.
Minsk?
Yes.
Yes. Okay, I haven't met anyone from Minsk actually here. Oh yeah, yeah, Minsk. I passed by Minsk like a long time ago. Huh, okay. So what are you doing here?
I'm a model.
Model, like a runway or Commercial, all of this. Yeah, like Bangkok seems to be like the hot spot for models, right? It's like, yeah, they're kind of like coming. You like it?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, what do you like about it? A lot of, a lot of opportunities. They kind of like pay you under the table, right?
Yeah.
What do you think I do? What do you think I do based on my vibes? Is my English understandable? Sometimes like I talked too fast, so I need to Slow down.
No, it's not fast.
You speak great English because, like, high five. Not a lot. I meet a lot of people from that block, Eastern European block, right? And then it's like, English is not super great.
It's not super great because I don't know why, but in Russia and Belarus, so a bad education for English.
So where did you learn English?
In school? Yeah, 7 years ago.
7 years ago? What do you mean? You look super young. I mean, you're like talking about like school. Like, what are you? You're like 22?
23.
23?
Almost 24, actually.
24? Almost 24. So, so now you're shooting for what?
Uh, for magazine. Magazine? Yes. I don't have a casting. It's just— I feel you're excited. Huh?
Oh, you've only been here?
Yeah.
So, okay, okay, I see. So it's like It's funny because when you talk about it, you're like, yeah, I'm excited. But you don't feel excited at all. I feel your soul's excitement. You're like, yeah, I'm excited.
Because I'm so tired. I'm all day to walk with my friends. So I'm back at home now.
All day walk?
Yeah.
Like here?
Like here, yeah.
In this hot weather?
Yeah. So now I need to go back home. Now I go to subway station.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah. Nice to meet you.
So you live here? Like, how long are you here?
How long?
So you have like a whole contract and then like— Yeah, I see. And then you're like, you just get booked by different jobs and you just go there and then—
Yeah, yeah. If I have a nice contract, I can make a visa here.
But then they judge you, right? It's like if you're like, uh, not super— if you don't live up to a certain body measurement, they're like—
Yeah, they can. That's crazy. I don't have a problem.
You just don't eat, huh?
No, I eat a lot of food. I'm just—
You look like super skinny.
I am. I'm just born skinny.
Oh, you're born skinny. Even if you eat a lot of food, it's just like—
Yeah, I like it.
High metabolism. That's crazy. You're not even Asian then. What kind of Asian do you think I am?
You're not from Thailand? Thailand? No. Okay. China? No. Vietnam? Okay. Korea.
Have you been to the— have you been to Asia, like, other than Thailand? No, actually, one of the— one of the countries that you told me already.
Japan? What they call— I don't remember what they call.
I'm Korean. I'm Korean.
You're Korean? I'm Korean. Oh, I live in Korea for 6 months. I have 2 countries in Korea, so I just understand I know usual words in Korean. Okay.
Hangul?
No. Just annyeonghaseyo.
That's great. At least you know the greetings, you know, the basic words. Where did you stay in Korea?
Gangnam. Yeah, I have an apartment in Mangwon.
Was it fun or not that fun?
So expensive.
Expensive? Wait, I mean compared to here, like super expensive, right?
What are you doing? Here.
What do you think? I, I asked you, what do you think? What do you think I'll do?
For work? Uh, study?
Give me one, give me one, give me one precise guess, you know? Okay, based on my energy, yeah, based on my energy.
Okay, you're for holidays here.
This is like a holiday outfit?
Why not?
This is like— actually, normally I, I wear flip-flops, you know? Today I'm like hosting like an event, so like I'm just dressed a little bit, a little dressed, a little bit for events. I'm hosting like an event at Soho House like later. Like, uh, basically the event is called like, uh, what's who you became in 2025 and who you're becoming in 2026. So basically helping people reflect on like 2025 and then like helping them create a new character for 2026. So a lot of the time, like, you, like, um, people just kind of like unconsciously choose this, uh, I mean, they don't even choose their character. It's almost like, oh, this character was given to me, I need to sort of like, you know, like just be that person. But it's actually— I've moved around the world, I lived all over the world growing up, so one thing I've learned is that, well, you can actually consciously choose your characters to step into. So like, I'm just doing that. Yeah, so I do. People call me Daddy of Kama Sutra. No, you know Kama Sutra? You know Kama Sutra? Huh? You know what is Kama Sutra? Tell me. What do you mean by why? I don't know. What does that mean? People have different definitions.
Okay, I think what you think.
What am I thinking? I don't know what I'm thinking. Everyone has different definitions. What do you think?
I think it's resting.
Just bad things. Why is it bad? If it was bad, I would tell you. I wouldn't even tell you. Oh man, like, it's— I'm too shy to tell you. Yeah, I'm a shy guy, of course.
I don't see it.
I'm a super shy guy. Oh, I'm just hot, you know. I'm a shot— I'm shy hot, you know. A lot of people think that Kama Sutra has to do with like a physical intercourse, right? There's a portion of that, but actually the original intention is like, you know, connection with yourself. You know, when your connection with yourself is not really there, how can you even really connect with other people? You know, so it's, it's every— anything and everything that has to do with connection. So I help people connect with themselves. And like a lot— there's a lot of these coaches and facilitators and retreat people I coach them, train them to build their business. Something like that. Did you have good food in Seoul? What? Did you have good food in Seoul? Oh yeah.
Yeah? In Korea, of course, it's Samgyeopsal.
Samgyeopsal? Oh, you—
Of course.
I like that. I like that. Your pronunciation is on point.
Yeah, I love spicy. And I love meat. For me, Korean food is crazy. Yeah.
Have you— What about the Korean drinks?
Uh, what kind of drink?
Like, do you drink alcohol or no?
Of course.
Why is that of course?
Of course.
Why is that? Why? I don't know, like some people, especially like models, they have to like keep their body measurements. Spicy, huh? Spicy. Okay, so you like Tết Nguyên style? You want to try?
I'm trying maybe.
Okay, get my Instagram. I'll invite you. That's mine. Did I not tell you? Bad girl, bad girl.
Sorry, Papa.
Papa. Papa.
No, it's Papa.
Look at my Instagram. Look at my Instagram.
No, you say—
Okay, Papa. Okay, you distracted me, but I got to go. Uh, have an amazing rest of enjoy the rest of your day.
Thank you. So nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too. All right, take it easy.
See you. Bye.
All right, so let's do a little debrief here. So that's a case in point, right? Um, it's one of those things where I didn't intend to have such an in-depth conversation. But that's, that's what the vibe is about at the end of the day, right? Like, a lot of the time, like, people think that it's just about like just walking up to someone and be like, hey, you're so beautiful, can I get your Instagram, right? Can I get your whatever? Kind of like going with this frame of, hey, I need to get something from her, right? Just because she looks beautiful. You look at here, there's so many beautiful women everywhere, right? Beauty is common, like, truly. So then I'm here to see if me and her, if there's like an energy between me and her, right? What is the vibe between me and her, right? Is she spicy? Can she handle my spice, right? Turns out she could, right? She was talking about how she was really spicy and everything. So that's the vibe. This was literally the case in point. It's like, hey, you're out here, you know, after work, right? And she just walks by and And then hey, capitalize on the moment anytime, anywhere. And when you have this frame of hey, I'm here to give my gifts, I'm here to give someone an opportunity, right, to meet me, literally pulling them out of their reality, right? She was just walking, right, and she said, "Oh, I'm tired, I have to go home," right? And I just talked to her, and then we started chatting, right? And there is one moment during the conversation actually where she's like, "Okay, so I go now?" And then we just kept on chatting and then like more things, right, more things got uncovered. And the whole time, the way I'm looking at it is that, okay, how can I really make it more spicy? How can I really connect with her, right? Well, let's see, let's see if I can connect with her, right? Let's give her more of an opportunity. Let's not just say, just because she has to go, okay, like, okay, you go, whatever. Oh, I feel like there's something there. Let's actually explore that. A lot of the A lot of time people just don't expect it at all. Whereas the apps, the clubs, bars, right? There is this expectation, hey, something is gonna happen. And then, yeah, not to say that there's anything wrong with them, right? Like there's no right or wrong. It's just like, hey, if you're a guy, if you're a high-value guy, you've been putting in so much work and your energy into creating the life that you're super excited about., right? Why don't you create an opportunity for yourself in this dimension, in this area of your life as well, right? And the best way to do it is actually to do exactly this, right? Who knows what's gonna happen with this connection, right? But just the whole idea is that you become someone who can create your own reality, who can direct your own movie, who can actually play their own game, you know? That's exactly the vibe. So this year it's been incredible, and time and time and time again I've noticed these different blind spots that people who come here have. It's like, hey Stephen, I'm not as confident as you. Hey Stephen, I am not as much of an extrovert as you. Hey, when I make a certain level of money, right, when I have a certain kind of job then I'm gonna start dating. All bullshit. Number one, this is something that you create, you know? You think this is like the person that I've always been? No, right? I think back to the moment 20 years ago, I was in my dorm room. I was like, I just came back from hanging out with my friends, right? From like a dinner outing. And I'm just, all of a sudden, I just start breaking down and crying because I was so heartbroken over the situationship, this girl that ghosted me. And I ended up avoiding social contact for 2 years straight. And now, this literally, I'm teaching guys how to face their fears and actually create these beautiful experiences anytime, anywhere, right? Completely different character, so this is something that I've actually carefully chosen to create time and time and time again. If I can do it, anyone can do it, obviously, right? Number 2, oh hey. I'm an introvert, right? No, that doesn't, that doesn't matter. You're not an introvert, you're just suppressed. You know, you're suppressing your desire. You feel like, oh, like only guys are naturally talkative or bubbly, extroverted. They can do this. But obviously, obviously no, because if that's the case, what am I doing here? That wouldn't happen. Like, the guy who was heartbroken, depressed crying over some girl that ghosted him, like, wouldn't be here, wouldn't stand here and just confidently walk up to a stranger and create these exciting opportunities. Like, that wouldn't happen at all. So that's number 2. And number 3, the idea that, hey, once I'm at a certain point in my life, and then, then I'm gonna focus on dating, right? As if, you know, life is gonna just wait for you. Well, let me break the news, homeboy. Life is not just waiting for you. You only have now and here. While you focus on making money, building that status, right, and just being ready hopefully for that moment so that, you know, you can some someday somehow some girl is going to like finally show their interest in you, there are guys who are actually practicing this beautiful art of of Soul Game, learning to express our soul, learning to be vulnerable, learning to face our fears. It's about like the distinction of being an active participant or a passive just observer. Are you just gonna passively observe your life go by, or are you gonna actually actively participate in it and actually create these incredible opportunities, right, actively? The choice is yours. Choose your adventure. If you want to learn how to do this properly, obviously you know what to do. Peace.
