I taught a crypto millionaire to find his future wife in 9 days
The video follows a three‑week immersive coaching program led by dating coach Steven, who works with John, a 30‑year‑old crypto investor who is financially free but crippled by a deep fear of failure, especially with women. The program takes place in Bangkok and Bali, where John is pushed to confront his fear by repeatedly approaching women, learning to shift his frame, energy, and identity. Early attempts result in rejection and physical fatigue, but a pivotal night of observation in a club triggers a perspective shift: John realizes he can adopt a confident “main‑character” mindset. Steven then introduces the concept of alter egos (e.g., Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce) to help John express new versions of himself. Using these techniques, John approaches Thu, engages in a brief but high‑impact conversation, and within minutes they move to texting, video calls, and a second date. John declares his willingness to relocate for a serious relationship, prompting Thu to move to Bangkok two months later. The narrative concludes with Steven summarizing the journey, emphasizing that the breakthrough came from identity work rather than tricks, and invites other high‑achievers to enroll in similar residential experiences.
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Hey, excuse me. I just wanted to say hi. Like, I just— I was passing. No, nothing. I was just—
This is John, 30 years old, crypto investor, financially free, location free. His biggest fear? Not losing money, not public speaking.
So it's not the rejection itself, not the act of being rejected, but it's more about failure. The fear of the feeling I get After failure.
I'm Steven. I help high achievers unleash their self-expression and build their dream relationships. When John reached out, I challenged him to face his fear. We lived together for 3 weeks across Bangkok and Bali. And on day 9, something happened that none of us expected.
Nice meeting you, John.
Nice meeting you too. I appreciate the interaction, by the way.
Thank you.
Now, you might be wondering, this guy looks cool. Why does he need any help? Cool tattoos, fun vibes, active social life, amazing social circle. So when he first asked me to guide him through creating his dream relationship, I had to put my own judgment aside. You might be thinking, this guy is financially free. Why not just hire a matchmaker, optimize his dating apps, pay someone to solve this for him? Actually, he did try the apps.
Mediocre results though, of course.
Because swiping is just gambling on love. You're hoping the algorithm serves up your soulmate. You're hoping to get lucky. And John doesn't gamble. In every other area of his life, business, crypto, health, he creates his own luck. He builds a skill, puts in the reps, makes it happen.
What's your name?
Um, yeah.
Nice to meet you. I wish you a good day. Actually from Bangkok?
Yeah.
Hey, are you in a rush?
Yeah, my car is outside.
He didn't want to outsource a problem. He wanted to become the kind of man who could solve it himself by directly facing the fear.
The insight that I got whenever I did get rejected, I didn't really care about the rejection itself, but after the rejection. So I got this like really bad feeling, and I believe that it actually has to do with my depressions, bro.
So I got him to face his number one fear, the fear of failure when it comes to women. For the first couple of days, he was opening girls, walking up to them, saying hello, breaking the ice, but none of them went anywhere.
Hey, excuse me, I just wanted to say hi. Like, I was passing. No, nothing. Yeah, it was nice meeting you too. Well, enjoy your food. Maybe see you around. Bye-bye.
Tourism.
Okay, cool.
Well, I think I have to go.
Yeah, let's go.
No worries.
All right, have a good day. I just feel like I'm not motivated to talk to anybody. It's like, so I feel like my body is being a bitch yet again.
This is the part most people don't see, the grind, the moments where your body is screaming at you to stop. Then something happened that gave John a clear picture of what was missing. He approached this girl, said hello, and she walked away.
Yeah.
Don't seem to really engage in conversation though.
Have a good day.
She's on the phone though.
I mean— Then he saw her again a few minutes later. He asked me to approach her. Same girl, different energy.
Excuse me.
Sorry, this is gonna sound super random. You're Thai, right? Yeah. Do you happen to speak English?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're shopping, but I just saw you. Ah, you were chubby like when you were a kid?
Yeah.
No way.
You're like so like thin, no?
So you lost all the weight as you grew up. You just got taller.
Ah, okay.
You're doing well. That's great.
I like that.
I like that.
The apparent difference right away was with this one, I was like running behind her, right?
Yeah.
And then I didn't establish the distance or anything.
I didn't come in with power or like energy was just off.
And right away she's like kind of like running away. She didn't really want to know what the fuck's even happening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Siggi then has like saw the same girl here at Uniqlo and asked me to do a little demo.
So I did.
And he fucking hooked the girl as always. Always.
It wasn't about the words. It was about the frame, the energy, the vibe.
There's this thing about rejection. It doesn't actually feel like rejection.
It's more like you're just like out there testing a little bit, seeing like what happens and who hooks.
And if it doesn't hook, just like, okay, whatever.
It's like kind of move on.
Something was finally starting to click. But the real breakthrough, that came at night.
Florida vibes! Yeah, let's go!
That night, I took John out not to approach, just to watch.
I see you, right, in the club. You are like just walking around having fun. There's music that you love, right? You're having a good time. And all of a sudden I see one girl, two girls, five, 10, 15, right? All turn around their heads. So like they look at you and you didn't talk to them. You might have like cheers with some of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who were right away crazy about you, right? You cheers and they were like, oh wow, who's this guy, right?
Yeah.
And I was just like, what the fuck's going on?
One of my limiting beliefs got crushed yesterday night. I always had this belief, or maybe it's just like because, you know, he's Steven and he can get this far. But now understand, damn, everyone— there's literally no exception out there— can become very close, if not the same, just by taking action all the time.
You have the 'I'm the owner of the club,' but I don't need anything from you other than you having a fucking great time, right?
Yeah.
And these women download that shit instantly. They're like This guy feels like the main character here, right?
Yeah.
All of a sudden I can create this just because I watched you for one night, you know? And because I shifted my perspective.
Mm.
From that point, we didn't focus on getting him to be himself. We focused on helping him express different sides of himself by experimenting with alter egos, just like Beyoncé created Sasha Fierce. Kobe created Black Mamba, Eminem created Slim Shady.
Hey, excuse me. Hi.
You speak English, right? Uh, super random, but I just wanted to give you an opportunity to meet a cool guy.
So, hi.
That's a nice one.
Nice one.
Yeah, I would want to see a bit more back and forth in the beginning.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because like the energy is a bit more drawn out, but there's like a bit a bit later, you know. Then I gave him a challenge: explore new versions of himself through different characters.
You speak a little bit, don't you?
Yes.
Yes, I just thought you look very cute.
Thank you.
Yes, basic English. So a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, I thought that you are very pretty, so I wanted to say hi to you. Good recommendation for I even joined in on the fun.
The imagination, you can imagine whatever you want, literally. Hey, where are you from? Thailand.
Thailand. You look like you're from— you're not from Thailand.
You look like— I thought you're from China. This wasn't about being fake. It was about breaking free from the one rigid version of himself he thought he had to be. And then, day 9. We were out doing the accent challenge. I was filming, and then I saw her. John didn't even notice her at first. But something told me to point her out.
Excuse me.
Yes?
Do you speak English?
Yeah.
Oh, you look very cute, by the way. Thank you. You actually have very good English, I just noticed.
Thank you.
Yeah, how do you speak so well English?
I used to live in the States for a while.
Oh wow, okay. All right, where?
In Minnesota.
Yeah, so like, how do you keep that up here in Bangkok?
I just watch a lot of TV shows.
Oh, all right, so like Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office. Oh yeah, I see, I see.
Yeah, that's how I keep up my English.
Great, great. Where you headed?
Um, upstairs.
Upstairs? That's so like—
Yeah, I have no idea.
Let's just go up.
How long you've been here?
Well, this is my fourth time. So far it's been 2 weeks. Let me grab your Instagram.
Yeah, sure.
So relax, don't worry.
What's your name? John. John?
Yeah.
Nice meeting you, John.
Nice meeting you too.
Nice one.
This one was good. This one was really good. Very good texting work. She is like on the way to meet her friends. How does she close with this? Did you like her though?
Did you like her?
She's like, right? She's too happy.
Yeah, just her body language. Yeah. What John didn't know yet was that this 5-minute conversation was about to change his entire life. They texted, they video called, played video games together for 2 hours. That was their second date. A few days later, we sat down to plan the first real in-person date.
And my only goal really is to find my divine partner.
Divine partner.
Yeah, my future wife basically.
So really what I want to optimize for is qualifying as quickly as possible, right?
First date, then a second, then a third, then a fourth.
I took her aside for a moment and I was like, we gotta have a conversation. This is what I want, right? I don't care if I'm living in Europe. I'm like financially stable. I'm free. I can make things happen. So "If we're going the serious route, I'm gonna move here." Her world lit up, right? That's what she tells me every day, that they changed everything for her because I put my balls on the line and I was very serious and I was just like, "Hey, we're gonna make anything happen." And she just believed me, right?
2 months later, that 5-minute approach, Ja moved to Bangkok to be with her. Her name is Thu.
To be honest, the first thing that goes through my mind was actually, did I drop something? Because I was in a hurry to see my friend. And I was like, oh, what happened? Did I drop something? Or what's going on? And then he's like, he told me that, excuse me, with British accent. And we started like to talk. And it was like, oh, he seems really nice. But it's just like, the whole energy thing that he's like leading me and like we have like the whole conversation. It's just not like any specific things that like make him like really stand out, but just something about him that make me want to stop and talk to him.
Just also from your energy, I kind of picked up on the fact that you might be fun, right? That you like just the way you you opened up, you didn't have this like crazy guard, right? And then you were sharing about the like shows that you watch, and then you tell me about Sherlock Holmes. I had no idea about that at all.
Also Sherlock Holmes?
Oh, all right. I was like, of course.
Think about Sherlock Holmes at that moment was because he's British actor. But he keep repeating British accent, so I was like, oh, Sherlock Holmes. We went to a bookstore and I really love books. It's like part of growing up, I read a lot of books and we exchange a lot of thoughts on certain books like philosophy and I'm really deep on philosophy as well. So that made me like, "Oh, this guy's interesting." And we're like, "Okay, wow, okay." So we start to be, closer and closer. And towards the end of the night, we like, like talked a lot of things and I understand a lot about him. He told about like certain like things in his life and I was like, okay, wow, this guy is like really impressive. Yeah, that's impressed me. So I would say what make me really catch feeling for him was like on the second date.
Small cat together, right? We create like our first small family. We live together.
And you got— you're actually taking her to Europe?
Take her to Europe tomorrow, literally, right?
You're introducing her.
I met her family. She's going to see my family. All feels smooth. It's not, um, it doesn't feel forced. It's not like, uh, too fast or anything, right? It's not stressful. No overthinking involved. Everything just flows, right?
Awesome.
A fucking 4-minute conversation on the street in front of them all.
Working with John was one of the most rewarding experiences I've had as a coach. Here's a guy who was completely crippled by the fear of failure. There were days he didn't want to take any action at all. His body was fighting him every step of the way. But what set John apart wasn't that he had it all figured out. It's that he was willing to be brutally honest about his fears. And once we built an action plan he could actually believe in, He executed. Every single day. His whole life, people told Jon to just be yourself. And he was. But that wasn't solving anything. Because the version of himself he was being was a one terrified of failure. What actually worked wasn't being himself. It was creating a brand new character. One he was genuinely excited about. Accessing parts of himself that had always been there. Were dormant, buried under years of playing safe.
Literally downloading the same frame and being like, well, today I go into this club thinking I'm the shit, right? That's it. Identity shift. And then it works.
Once he unlocked that, the fear started to dissolve. He accessed this frequency of play, of fun, of joy. And that's exactly when he went to. But here's what I love most about John's journey. He wasn't just out there trying to get random girls. He was qualifying for his long-term relationship. He brought his full, honest self to every interaction. He wanted to know, does this person align with my lifestyle, my values, emotionally, physically, spiritually? That's what we built together. Not tricks, not lines, a framework for creating real connection and qualify for magic. So if you're a high achiever who's figured out everything except this, if you've got the life but not the love, if there's a fear you've been avoiding, I run immersive residential experiences where we live together and I help you break through the full journey from self-expression to deep connection to creating your dream relationship. Link is in the description. Book a call. Let's talk about what's possible for you. And if John's story resonated with you, drop a comment. What's a fear you've been avoiding? I read every single one of them. Keep calm and vibe on.
Peace.
