In this 2022 YouTube video, Steven, a nomadic entrepreneur, shares a step‑by‑step framework for building a social circle after moving to a new city. He begins by emphasizing the foundational role of an open, curious mindset – the "vibe" – and then walks through concrete channels for meeting people: online platforms (Meetup.com, Facebook groups, Telegram), local coworking spaces (especially speed‑networking events), and personal networks (asking for introductions and hosting your own gatherings). He also advocates for co‑living arrangements, highlighting his own residential‑accelerator project, House Manifest, as a way to live with like‑minded entrepreneurs. Finally, Steven offers interaction tips – initiating small talk, showing genuine curiosity, and smiling with the eyes – to ensure each encounter feels warm and authentic. The video concludes with a TL;DR recap and a call for viewers to share their own friend‑making experiences.
Chapters
Tinder, Bumble Friends, Hinge. Are you swiping on these apps to find new friends? If you ask me, probably not the best idea. Today I'm gonna tell you the real best way to make new friends in a new city. Hey you, beautiful face! Welcome back to my channel. How's the vibe? My name is Steven, and if you're new here, I talk about human connection, personal development, and my journey as a nomadic entrepreneur. If that's something you want to learn more about, be sure to hit the red subscribe button below. Alright, so today I'm going to talk about how to make friends in a new city. If you've had the courage to actually move to a brand new city, but you haven't found anyone to connect with, or you're someone that bounces from place to place like me, make sure you watch until the very end. Alright, so a little bit about me. Since I was born, I moved every 1 to 2 years across different cultures and continents. At first, because my family was moving around, and as a kid, I went along with it. And later on, as an adult, I realized that I was actually actively choosing to hop around these places, mainly because I never really felt home quite anywhere. So this journey has taken me to all over Europe, Asia, and North America. Naturally, I've become very obsessed with making friends quickly wherever I went, and not losing touch with those I become very close with. So much so that this obsession has turned into not only a hobby but also my career. So let's get to it. How do you make friends in a new city as an adult? Okay, before I talk about the actual tactics for making new friends in a new city, I wanna highlight the most important thing, and that is your mindset, your vibe. Alright, so you've just arrived in a new city and everywhere you go is new. Everywhere you explore is something you haven't seen before, you haven't really experienced before. So really go in there and just soak it up like a baby. Just go in with an open mindset and genuine curiosity. Let the vibe guide you. Without having this open mindset, everything is going to be a challenge for you, especially in this new city you're in. So make sure you go into each interaction with the right vibe, and make sure your vibe is on point before you do anything. But now you know you've got your vibe on, let's talk about where you can actually meet these new friends. Easiest way for you to meet new friends is to attend meetups. Meetup.com has plenty of options for you, whether you be interested in rollerblading, basketball, lifting, beach volleyball. It's got everything, trust me. A few years ago when I moved to New York City for the first time, I really wanted to check out this DJ. I was getting into house music and. And I didn't want to go alone, but at the same time, I still really wanted to go to the show. So I go on Meetup and I find this group and get-together. And I go and I meet this guy named Simon and we just vibe together. We enjoy the music together. And then obviously we have the same interest in the same type of music. He has turned into one of my best friends to this day. So there you go. The vibe is here and Meetup.com, I highly recommend it. Meetup.com isn't the only option. You can use the same exact method on Facebook. Go on Facebook and on the left-hand side, you're gonna be able to see their events and group sections. First of all, what you wanna do is to join as many groups as possible that you can identify yourself with. So for example, Koreans in London, Argentinians in Barcelona, volleyball, handball, rap, digital nomads. What's good about Facebook is that there's so many niche, interest, identity, and hobby-based groups available, so you can always find groups that you can really resonate with. Once you're in those groups, what you want to do is to see if they actually host any weekly events. And I guarantee you at least one of them is gonna have an event for you this week that you're watching right now. If they don't have any events available, what you can do is to actually go on one of these groups and make a post saying, hey, I'm Steven, I've just arrived in town, I'm new in the city, I'm a nomadic entrepreneur interested in house music, tea drinking, lifting, Zen living, minimalist living, whatever you're interested in. Uh, I'm here to meet some new friends. Uh, let's vibe, let's go for drinks or something. All right. So that's Facebook for you. Facebook has a plethora of options, whether it be groups or events. So I guarantee you that it's gonna serve you very, very well in your friend-making adventure. Now the third option is for you to actually download the messenger app called Telegram. If you don't have it yet. When you go on Telegram, just go to the search section and just type in the city that you're in. So for example, Lisbon, and your interest crypto, and you can find loads of different public groups available and you can just join every single one of them. The good thing about Telegram group is that it's not about just making a post and waiting for someone to get back to you. Those groups are already active with people chatting about different things.. So you can just say, hey, I'm new here, I'm looking to make new friends, hit me up. And usually someone is there to actually answer. All right, moving on to the next tip. This is probably gonna give you the most bang for your buck, which is to check out your local coworking places. Wherever you've just moved to, open Google Maps and type in coworking, and you're gonna be able to find so many different coworking spots in your local area. Now, what you want to do is to actually check out each of their coworking places' websites and check, check out their calendar. A lot of the time they have public events on Fridays, and most of the time their public events are actually speed networking events. These events are the best because you go there and in such a short period of time you meet a lot of people. Best part about it is the fact that everyone you meet has exactly the same intention as you. So all you need to do is to bring yourself to a speed networking event hosted by a coworking space, and you just meet 10, 20, 30 people in 1 to 2 hours. And at the end, everyone just vibes together. If they don't have any speed networking events, don't worry about it. A lot of the time they have jam sessions, different speaker series, I mean, that's kind of how I met a lot of people here in Lisbon as well. So the most important thing is, is for you to check out different coworking places and check out their calendars and go to their public events, and I'm sure the magic will happen. When I first moved to Bali a couple of years ago, I didn't know a single soul. I went to a local coworking spot, and this is how I met a lot of my initial group of friends. So I highly encourage you to check out speed networking, speed friending, or even speed dating to really supercharge your friend-making adventures. All right, number 4: ask for introductions. This is probably one of the most overlooked options, but unless you've been living like a hermit for the past decade, you probably have some friends already. And out of anyone you know, your existing friends or co-workers or people that you know on your social media probably understand your vibe better than anyone. And probably can put you in touch with other people that you're most likely to get along with the best. All right, quick story time. When I first moved to New York a few years ago, a friend of mine, also a coworker, Ben, he introduced me to this guy named Dylan. Dylan also had just moved to New York City, and Ben told me that both of us are really into house music and vibing around with international people. So naturally, Dylan and I met and we quickly vibed. Turns out we both really like Michael Jackson's PYT and we both love pizza. And yeah, he became one of my best friends to this day. So ask for introductions. Asking for introductions is one of the most powerful ways for you to hack away at making new friends in a new city. So I really, really strongly encourage you to utilize your existing connections, alumni network, and social media to actually help you be put in touch with other people who you're most likely to vibe with in your new city. Knowing the power of introductions, you can actually utilize the same concept to actually supercharge your friend-making ability and adventure in your new city. How? Host your own gathering. Now, if you've already been in your new city for 2, 3, 4 weeks, you've already started making some new friends. Let's say, you know, half a dozen people in your new city. What you can do is to actually organize a small dinner or picnic or drinks. And what you do is to invite all of them. Now, this strategy is interesting because a lot of people think that, oh, I have to actually make sure that this person vibes with this person. And like, what if they kind of don't get along with. Well, doesn't matter. Just invite all of them and just trust me, it's going to be an amazing experience. Um, if they don't vibe that well with each other, well, I guess they're not really there to be, uh, your friends with to begin with. Making introductions and hosting gatherings and hosting events is actually so good because what you're doing is to actually adding direct value to their lives. A lot of the time when you're in a new city, you're in a position of wanting something from new people, right? So you're always taking, taking, taking from your new people. But in this way, well, you've met new people and you're actually directly contributing a new experience, a new thing to their lives. And chances are a lot of the new people that you've already met are looking for new friends anyway. So what you need to do is to just host a little small get-together. Don't need to go too crazy about it, and just bring them all together and then really be the leader of that social circle that you're just starting new. Next up, this is my final tip for where you can find your next friends, and this is quite controversial, or it's actually one of the most strongest ways for you to find your next best friends. So listen up, and that is to live with strangers— co-living. Now this sounds pretty scary and crazy if you've never tried this before, but I'm sure you've actually lived with someone during your college or university days, and most of the time it either goes really, really well or it kind of flops. But that is exactly the point. You want to actually optimize your experience for those that you're most likely to vibe with And actually, when you think about it, living with someone is actually one of the most focused and intense ways for you to understand your people, the people around you, at multiple different levels. The easiest way for you to test this out is to join a co-living space operated by well-known companies like Selina, Outsite, or Hivegeist. I'm actually in one of their spots right now. So shout out to them. What's good about living in a co-living space is that usually each co-living space has got their own vibe. So Selina attracts a certain personalities, Outside attracts certain personality. Usually when you go on their websites, you can actually understand what kind of people and personalities they attract. The typical experience is that you sort out when you want to live in one of their rooms and you go there,, and you pay their monthly rent essentially, and you just get thrown right into the mix and you get to meet a lot of people who are there to just vibe with different people like you, uh, on a short-term basis. And usually they're pretty open-minded about exploring different things because a lot of the time they're also in the same situation as you, exploring a new city and just checking out whether this city is the right place for them, or they moved, but then they don't want to be alone and they also want to make new friends just like you. I believe in this concept so much so that I'm actually building my own company around it. When I've actually experienced co-living with other people wherever I hopped around the world, I realized that I wish there were an opportunity where I can meet a group of open-minded, ambitious, and goal-oriented people who are also entrepreneurially oriented. So I started building my own residential accelerator for remote founders called called House Manifest. I interview every single one to come live with me in a select location around the world. And I actually live with every single one of them. And I curate the experience and we build and co-create these amazing community building, personal development, and professional development experiences together. And for me, it's one of the most transformative experiences. And, um, I can proudly say that a lot of the members also thanks as well. If you're interested in getting involved in the House Manifest Experience, check out the link in the description below. All right, so you've attended all these events, you've asked for introductions, you've hosted your gatherings, and you even gone out of your way to actually live with strangers. What do you actually do when you come across these people to make sure that your vibe is just on point? So I want to give you a couple of tips to make sure that your vibe is super solid when you actually come across these people. The first thing is to actually make the small talk first. When you go to a setting where there's a group of people and, you know, people just don't know how to make the first step, be that first one. It's super simple. All you need to do is just to go up to them or turn next to the person sitting right next to you or standing right next to you and say, "Hey, I'm Steven. Good to meet you. What's your name?" Super easy, right? There's no magic around it. If you feel stuck and you don't know what to say, you can just say, "Hey, I like your hair. I like your hat. I like your shirt. Where did you get it?" And one thing leads to another, and before you know it, you're going to become a small talk master. It's really simple. If you've noticed something particular about the way they dress or the way they carry themselves, just comment on it, right? For example, today CJ is wearing this like green tropical house type of vibe. Hey, like, where'd you get that dope shirt, right? Who doesn't like a compliment? If you talk to them and they have a particular accent, like, hey, you have a Swedish accent or Scandinavian, where's that, where's that from? Like, everyone wants, everyone likes the attention of other people, like, want to to find out more about you. So take advantage of that. One thing to remember when you are interacting with these people is to actually just be really chill about your vibe and conversation with them. What I mean by that is that when you tell them that, hey, I've noticed your Scandinavian accent, you're not there to judge them, right? You're there to notice the difference, and you say that, hey, I'm actually curious, I want to learn more about it. And it's a very subtle thing, but You know, sometimes you might come across as judgmental, and, you know, I don't want you to have that type of vibe when you're interacting with someone new. You want to be there, and you're there to actually curious about where they come from, their experiences, and their life in general. Everyone wants to be heard and listened to, so give them that space and opportunity to actually get to know each other. And finally, this is Probably by far the most important thing is to actually smile. And this is so interesting because a lot of the time people just kind of forget that, you know, they're there to vibe with other people, right? Like, you're not there to judge someone, you're not there to criticize someone, right? You're there to actually be warm and inviting and really connect with other human beings and really through that process, expand your social circle and accelerate your new life in this new city you're in. When I say smile, it's not just about like smiling with your lips, but actually smiling with your eyes. So smiling with your lips goes like this, like, "Hi, my name is Steven. Good to meet you." Like, it's super creepy, no? Like, do not do that. What you want to do is actually smile with your eyes. Like, your eyes have to move a little bit. So it goes like, hi, I'm Steven, good to meet you. See, the difference is that like when your eyes smile, when you smile with your eyes, your lips automatically kind of go up. So there's like, there's a huge difference. So make sure you smile with your eyes and just emit that inviting warm energy around you so that when other people around you kind of notice your presence, they go like, wow, this guy is just like radiating this positive energy. I can't wait to find out more about this person, right? You want to have that vibe. And yeah, just practice more. And before you go out, just practice in front of the mirror and just say like, hi, you know. All right, so let me give you the TL;DR, the takeaway, the summary of everything I've just outlined in terms of making new friends, in a new city. The most important thing is to make sure that your mindset is on point. You want to have an open mindset. You want to be curious about your new surroundings, your new environment, and each interaction and situation that you go into. Once you have that vibe on lockdown, what you want to do is to actually hit up all your local events through meetup.com, Facebook, Telegram, and other social media platforms. The next thing for you to do is to check out your local coworking spots. A lot of the time on Fridays they have open public events, and if you can actually come across a speed networking event, that's actually the best way for you to meet a lot of people in a short compact period of time. And the next tip is to actually ask for introductions. Chances are most of your adult life has already centered around you making valuable connections, and they can actually put you in touch with the right people in your new city. The next tip is for you to actually facilitate these introductions by hosting your new gatherings and events in the new city that you're just in. So instantly putting yourself in the position of a leader. Next tip, have a go at co-living. Check out House Manifest. And lastly, make sure your vibe is on point when you come across these new people by making your small talk first. Be genuinely curious about their experience and smile with your eyes, not with your lips. And the most important thing is to have fun in the process. Like, when you are there to make new friends, you're there to have fun. You're there to actually be you. And not to be anyone completely different, right? So make sure you are genuine about yourself and don't compromise. If someone's not your vibe, you know, you can meet another person, right? You're not there to sacrifice or compromise your identity, right? So just be you. Uh, but yeah, make sure your vibe is on point and your vibe is super, super strong. Send this to your friend who's about to embark on a world travel journey or someone who just moved to a new city. So that they can also make sure that their vibe is on point and they can expand their social circle in the right way. Now I want to hear from you. Have you made new friends in your new city? What was your tactic? How did you make new friends in your new city? Is there anything I missed? Please let me know if I missed anything. I'd love to know more about your experience. And keep calm and vibe on.
