Stephen approaches strangers at a Bali market with no agenda, just genuine curiosity. He gets three dates in three hours by staying present, offering real compliments and humor, and treating each conversation as a shared moment instead of a transaction.
Chapters
All right, today we're doing something super special, super fun. I'm gonna take you from how to break the ice, how to warm up, how to say what to say, and what different types of situations, and how to go from there to actually deepen the vibe, spike attraction, and create that deep emotional connection. Obviously today we're here, it's a Sunday market situation, a lot of people. It's gonna be very situational and we're just gonna go from there. It's gonna be very simple and very fun. Let's go. Excuse me. Sorry, do you speak English?
Yeah, a little bit. Not very fluent. Fluent.
Yeah, I think you do speak English very well because you're telling me that, oh, I don't speak English that well, but you do speak very well.
No, because I never studied in other countries.
Oh, really? But how come you speak decent English?
Oh, like, after traveling, I talk with the foreigners, like, practice my oral English. So just this.
Okay, you just practice with like random strangers and that's how you learn English?
Yeah, like because like when I'm traveling, because I'm solo travel.
You want to find yourself.
Yeah, I used to like stay in hotel, so it's very easy to meet some people.
I see, I see. Got it, got it, got it. I was going to say, cuz like when I saw you, you like, you have a very unique vibe about you, you know? So like you stood out to me. I was like, hmm, where is she from? So don't tell me where you're from. Let me guess. I think now I got your accent. You must be somewhere in like Taiwan or China. Yeah, Taiwan, China.
Yeah, China.
Like southern part of China? Yes, like Guangzhou or something like that.
Yes, exactly.
I got it.
Yeah, it's too easy for you.
Too easy for me. I got that right. You're like a bit tanned, you know. We got like a funky style, you know. No, no, no. What do you think? Take a guess.
Singapore?
I get that a lot. A lot of people say Singapore.
I don't know why. Because like, I'm not sure, just like your vibe, little bit like Singapore.
This is Singapore vibe?
I'm not sure. Like, very like clean feet. Yeah, you know, the OTD, like clean feet. OTD.
I haven't heard that one in a long time, actually.
Tell me where.
No, not Singapore, but I do get Singapore a lot though. Yeah, he said if you want to understand anything about the universe, talk like, think about energy, frequency, and vibration, you know.
Vibration, vibration, vibe.
You know, the word vibe is from vibration.
Oh, okay, right. It's like, did you know that vibration?
Yeah, vibe is that vibration that's like moving, right? Because we're all moving. We're all made up of atoms that move, right? Everyone, everyone around us, everything actually. So it's like when I told you, like, I first saw you, it's like, oh, something about your vibe caught my eye. So it's like your vibe, the way your body moves, it's like it just signals something, right? Yeah. This is how we kind of understand how to connect with people and how to spot opportunities, etc.
Yeah. You feel so full of energy. Me?
Yeah, I'm always like this.
Yeah, like when you—
maybe matcha also helps.
When you're talking to people, your eyes are like very like, uh, directly. Yeah, like eye to eye.
How does that make you feel?
Uh-huh, it's okay. Yeah, but I'm not very used to do it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, in China, for Chinese, maybe—
oh, it's like kind of like this, right? Yeah, yeah, you don't really— yeah, more shy.
Yeah, yeah, because like we can't like keep eye contact. Yeah, yeah, to, to other person's eye.
I see, I see.
So did you find yourself?
Me? I like that question. Good question, great question. I like that. Yeah, I think I can say I have. I've been on this journey for a long time.
Told me, didn't tell me. How old are you?
Is that important? When you're on your path, when you're doing something that really your soul is genuinely excited about, then like Yeah, you have a lot of vitality, you have a lot of energy. Then it's like you're not kind of going down, you're going up and up and up and up. That's why you think that I have a lot of energy. Always up, up, up. Sometimes hard to sleep.
Sometimes just have a rest.
Exactly. Exactly. So yeah, I like your question though. No one ever asked me that question before. Did you find yourself? That's an interesting one.
So congratulations.
I think it's a journey of like continuous discovery, you know, a lot of different things. I used to be like an investment banker, suits, you know, tie, very serious, this type of vibe, you know. Realized it's not my thing, you know, and then tried many things, and then I realized like, yeah, for me, solving loneliness and helping people cultivate love within themselves, express their love with others, you know, and then helping create like a very deeply connected, like genuinely connected world, that's what really matters to me. Yeah, and once I found that, now I'm like busier than ever because I'm like, I actually have work to do because now I found something.
So yeah, and you? I didn't. You didn't?
Okay, that's fine. You got time.
I hope, but not too like, not too hurry because I know like everything will change, so I don't want to push myself too much.
Don't push yourself.
Just go with the flow.
Yeah, go with the flow. Embrace your femininity. Maybe you find this masculine energy that's like yin and yang, perfect.
Then yeah, easy. I just told myself just doing something can make me happy. Yeah. So that is enough. That's cool. That's why I feel like traveling.
I love that. I like your vibe. You have Instagram? Yeah, yeah, we should connect. My phone is— yeah, yeah, can you find me?
My phone. Yeah. Choi. So actually, my last name in, like, in Chinese, uh, translate to English is Choi. Sorry? Cai is Choi.
Cai is Choi.
Oh yeah, because, you know, the last name actually, uh, like in Chinese in China and Korea, many.
Yeah, same.
Yeah, similar. I don't know.
Amazing. Well, you're here for the next 10 days, right?
Yeah.
Okay, maybe we'll grab some coffee or tea or, you know, beer. I don't really drink anymore, but maybe you can have some beverage sometimes. All right, good to meet you.
Good to meet you.
All right. Have a lovely day. All right, see you. All right, bye. I just spoke to this girl, right? And she caught my eye. Something about her vibe, like, I don't know. A lot of the time you can't really verbalize these things, but then I just saw her and I just said hi, and then it just kind of went on from there, right? And the most important thing is that a lot of the time when a guy says hi to a girl, they're trying to take something from the girl, like, oh, what is your name? What do you do, right? What do you do for a living? All these things. These things are important. These things are important information for you to understand. But at the same time, like, when you first say hi to them, they don't know you., right? So it's important for you to offer value, give them something to work with, give them value, right? So that like you're not trying to take something from them. So basically, yeah, I just said hi, I told her very honestly, hey, do you speak English? And then it kind of went from there, right? And then I don't have a plan or agenda as to what to say next, you know? I don't have like a specific script. I just go there and then we just flow. I'm just very present-minded, just focus on the conversation. And then, you know, one thing leads to another and then, you know, like It's my way to understand whether she qualifies for my vibe, you know, whether, okay, she looks cute, pretty, but like, is there something behind her beyond the fact that she's cute and pretty, whatever? Like, is there something more substantial there, right? Instead of thinking that, hey, I hope she likes me. No, like, I have a lot of value to offer. Are we going to vibe actually? You know, let's see if she actually qualifies for Magic, you know. Hey, excuse me. Speak English? You do? You're eating cup ramen noodles?
I'm hungry.
Like, this is insane, you know? I know. That's why I was like, I was just walking out and I saw you, and then you're like having cup ramen noodles.
I'm starving.
You could have— you could have had anything in the world.
I was like right here, and I was right there, and I was like, fuck.
Crazy.
Okay, this is good.
Is it?
Yeah.
What's it called? Japanese-style chicken. But you're not Japanese though. You are Indonesian. You're Indonesian?
Yeah.
How come your English is so fluid? You live abroad?
Yeah, like in the US, in the States and Canada.
Oh, okay. Like you can't make up your mind, US or Canada? Like a Gemini?
Yeah.
Okay, but I'm not.
Interesting.
Okay, you're not. Let's see. Scorpio. Is that like a bad thing?
I don't know. What if I was a Scorpio, you know?
Yeah, okay, so it's not— I don't know, we got, we got to talk more. Like, are you— what do you, what do you think?
I don't know. Are you Indonesian too?
Am I Indonesian? If I was Indonesian, wouldn't I have spoken to an Indonesian, right? I don't look in English, or I look— but that's a strong statement though. You're like eating your like cup ramen noodles and you're like— it's like, like you're like sweating profusely, sauna vibes.
Well, it was raining the past few days. Like, let me get a bit of sun.
I like that. Okay, so going back to the— what's your name, by the way? That's not a— that's not an Indonesian name.
I'm Indonesian.
Huh?
I'm Indonesian.
You're Indonesian?
Steven's not a very Korean name either.
I was born in the US, you know.
That's why. Okay, okay.
But actually, my name is spelled with a PH, so like everyone—
what is it?
Everyone is like Stefan or Stefan.
Yes, I know a lot of Koreans actually.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, I'll sit.
Why not? Oh my God, why not?
I'll sit here. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing here?
I, uh, I live here now. Yeah, I, I've been in and out for a long time. And, um, what do you think? Okay, take a, take a wild guess. Take a wild guess. Take a wild guess. I sound like I look like a businessman. Is that the vibe I give off? I see you're trying to find yourself right now. Running away to Bali. Okay, so is this your like, uh, retirement? Yeah, I like that. I like that. Have you found your sugar daddy yet? There's a lot of them. There's a few. Who's your favorite one?
The ones in Jakarta.
That's a good one. That's great, that's great, that's great, that's great.
Yeah, that's actually crazy.
I see, I see, I see. Um, where do you live? Vancouver is actually one of my favorite North American cities. You've been there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's got like— it's like the only city where you can like, what, ski, swim, and do golf and all. Yeah, yeah. So You went there and then what made you leave?
I was there back and forth a lot, like since I was little.
So you're like a bird out of a cage right now. Yes, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
It's so crazy, like people were like, oh my God, like be free. Thank you.
Okay, so what's your next thing then? I was just like walking around with my friends and I was like, I saw you, you know, I'm like, this girl is crazy, I need to talk to her. Yeah, she's like, she's like sweating profusely, like, like a sauna bath, you know. I need to take a picture of her. And then I was like, I'm just gonna say hi to her, you know, why not. Yeah, exactly. Thumbnail. That's a good thumbnail, like YouTube. I do— I make a lot of YouTube videos. Yeah, for my work, you know. Um, yeah, we should, uh, we should grab some drinks sometime. Are you on Instagram? Find me.
Oh my God, everybody here who like, they're like, add me on Instagram. They have like all these followings. I'm like, bro, oh, it's an influencer world.
Yeah, don't worry, my, my personal account is not an influencer vibe. So how did you get your, uh, name?
Means like, like almighty or something. When I was a baby, I was like, oh my, I was like a big baby that came out and I stretched my head like a mega baby. Yes. And I stretched my head.
Yeah.
Like halfway through.
Yeah.
And my dad was looking like, oh fuck. Like, and then she was like, solid.
Nice one.
Yeah.
Okay, show me, show me your Instagram real quick. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see how much of influencer are you. This, this one. That was— nice one. Oh man, I need to go take a shower. I'm going to go. I'm going to head up Okay, nice to meet you. Hope you have an amazing rest of your— where are you going for dinner?
Um, probably—
okay, well, I'm gonna go. Great to meet you. I love the sweaty vibe. Get ramen, that's your thing, huh? Hey, excuse me, is that tasty? It's not tasty, so you don't recommend it?
No.
So it's from there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks really tasty though.
It's fake. Like the flavor is—
oh, the taste is fake? What kind of taste?
Huh?
It's not natural. Really? But wait, but ice cream is not really natural to begin with.
No, if it's like fruit, like sorbet or something.
Oh, okay.
If it's made with real fruit, maybe. I don't know.
Oh, okay. I see.
Don't buy.
Where are you guys from, by the way?
Hong Kong.
Hong Kong.
Yeah.
Okay, I was gonna say you speak really good English. I'm having like this water, but like I want something like really cold and like that look nice. But I mean, if you say it's terrible, then it's not that terrible. But you've had it, like you're already done? Oh, you tried? Okay, you're like, I'm not getting it. I tried 4 bites and then 4 bites. Okay, yeah, that's enough.
I mean, the flavor is really quite thick.
Oh wow, that's like, that's like the worst you can get, right? As worse as it gets. So you guys are all traveling from Hong Kong?
Yeah.
What's the— how do you like Bali? Okay, okay. Yeah, it's like you're Singapore.
No, no, everything.
Interesting. Hong Kong. I was, I was in Hong Kong like, like 2 months ago. Yeah, I was just like, I was like, I was doing a layover, so I spent like a night there. I have a lot of friends there, so I was meeting up with them. It was my first time in the past 10 years. I mean, I love Hong Kong.
Wow, what a compliment.
I mean, it's like a city. I like being in the city, like a big metropolitan city, you know, a lot of stuff to do, great food.
Really a lot of stuff to do.
Yeah.
What did you do really? Like party hard?
No, I mean, I'm kind of way past that. Yeah, this is like amazing food. Super good.
Super good.
So next time you guys are back in Hong Kong, let me, let me guys, let me take you out. So are you guys like, uh, high school friends, college friends, sisters? All you guys are all surfers? That's why you came here?
Not really, actually. We didn't, we didn't serve anything like— no, in Chiang Mai, but we serve in different Like Uluwatu or something? No, it's called Mandawi.
Okay, next time I'm in Hong Kong, I'm gonna take you guys out. Can we like add each other on Instagram or something? Yeah, let's do that.
Which country are you from actually?
What do you think? What do you think? Everyone said Singapore. I don't know why, you know. I have a Singaporean accent.
Really? It's not like Singaporean also got very like accurate accent.
I mean, what Accurate accent?
Not accurate.
I mean, like, like a punchy accent.
Like, not every— everyone saying, but like someone— like, some of them are really— yeah, well, speak in English.
Well spoken, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take that as a compliment. What's your name? How do you spell that?
Japanese.
You're Japanese?
I'm not. So how does the Japanese—
oh, I think it's—
I close it.
Your dad is Japanese?
No.
Your dad gave you a Japanese name?
No, I gave it myself.
You gave yourself? So you changed your name?
Yeah, why not?
I love that.
Yeah.
So you had like a different name before?
Yeah, but I won't tell you because that's too sad. Not really sad, but I like the new one. I got that. I see. Oh, nice to see you.
Yeah, nice to meet you. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen.
So actually, are you Hong Kong? No, no.
Take a guess, take a guess.
But you are saying Choi, you're saying Choi. So, but you speak Mandarin as well? No? So you're Malaysian?
I know Chinese characters though, I know Chinese characters.
Not Malaysia?
I'm very tan though, to be fair. So like a lot of people think I'm like Singaporean, Malaysian, you know. Hey, enjoy your Canggu and Bali, enjoy surfing. Are you surfing more? That's it?
Okay.
Yeah, well, enjoy shopping. Good to meet you. See you.
Bye.
Excuse me, you speak English? Yeah, it looks like the way you're eating that, it's like you're— it's like the tastiest thing ever.
Yeah, it's really tasty.
Is it actually tasty?
Yeah, sorry, I usually take it with garlic butter.
Oh, the garlic butter? That's like a— that's like a funky one. I've actually never tried corn with garlic butter. You're German?
Where are you from?
Where is that?
Ukraine.
Ukraine, okay. So, careful. Um, what do you think? No, uh, man, I, I forgot the phrase. I spent a lot of time in Kyiv back in the day. First time I went there was like 10 years Yeah, and then you came to Bali after?
No, I came to my hometown.
Yeah, which is where?
It is called Dama, it's between Kyiv and Kharkiv.
Okay, it's between Kyiv and Kharkiv?
Yeah. Oh, okay.
Is that okay, like the area? Is that like invaded or is it okay now?
Yeah, it's quite safe. Attack by the white people.
Yeah, okay, I see. And now you're just like here in Bali?
Just because it's a tourist spot, but I'm moving back home to Kyiv.
Yeah, to Kyiv, to your hometown. The first time I went to Kyiv, it made such a strong impression impression on me. I went there like in 2015, a long time ago, right? This is before the whole like Maidan revolution. And then it just, uh, I remember like a lot of these women like holding flowers and taking photos in front of statues. I was like, it's like my grandma, grandma generation, you know? It's like crazy. But something, there's something very traditionally very cute about that, you know? Very like old school vibe, you know? I like that a lot.
What do you think?
Take a guess, take a wild guess.
Just few ideas, China or Korea.
Korea, high five! Nice one. Have you been to Korea before?
No, never, but I have been in China.
Where in China?
Beijing, Shanghai. That's it.
Where do you think I am based on my vibe?
New York?
A lot of people say Leo. I don't know why, you know, like literally I'm not— you're not the first one who tells me Leo. Like everyone's like, you're Leo, you know. I'm like, I have no Leo in my chart, you know, like zero. And then like people tell me, it's like, yeah, your parents lied to you about your birthday, you know.
I don't know, uh, and is it worth it? It's free.
No, I'm actually— I was also born in the fall.
Yeah.
I'm a Libra myself. That's how I'm like, we won't get along.
September. How old are you?
Oh, you're like, now it's like proper interview questions, right? You're like, how old do you think I am?
Around 30.
Around 30. Wait, you're like 27?
35 almost.
You're 35?
Yeah.
High five! You're doing really well for yourself.
Thank you.
Wow, I would not have believed that. You're not even Asian. What's your skincare routine? Let me get in on that.
Basically nothing. Damn.
All right, impressed. I am— yeah, what was your guess? For my age, you say around 30? So you think I'm younger than you? A little bit. Congratulations! Are you excited?
Yeah, I have a cat.
Oh, so you have your cat there. Is someone taking care of the cat then?
Yeah, my mom. Your mom?
Wow, that's so cute. Yeah, you have a tight relationship with your mom.
She turns 18 years old.
Wait, cats can live that long? And what's your name?
My name Stephen.
Nice to meet you. What's your nickname? Like, um, okay, a lot of people call me, uh, they can't pronounce my name properly because Stephen is spelled with a PH, so a lot of people say like Stefan or Stefan. But it's actually Steven.
Steven, but usually Steven pronounced with a B, right?
B or PH, actually.
But I have never heard like this.
I'm the only one. I'm the only one. Doesn't mean ocean, sea, right? Are you— do you identify yourself as like the sea? Like, yeah, yeah, be like water. Bruce Lee, you're kind of like that, huh? I can see because you're like a Libra. With that name, you're kind of like flow.
And do you have a Korean name? And what does Steven mean?
I think Steven means like something like crown, crown, like a crown, you know. So actually, when you think about it, like they kind of go well together, right? Like crown is like bright, and then high, you know, when you're in like high up, like you wear that crown. Similar, I guess.
My hands are always Yeah, let's walk a little bit.
So your plan was to like grab some corn and just chill by the beach today?
Yeah, see the sunset, but I'm not sure that it will connect today.
Yeah, actually, yeah. So what's the most adventurous thing you've done in Bali?
Probably snorkeling in Nusa Penida.
So we are back home and we spent about 6 hours-ish just hanging out, talking, and spreading vibes. And what ended up happening was we ended up vibing with some very interesting people here in Bali. First it was like a Chinese girl traveling around, around Asia, and like something about her vibe. Her curly hair kind of stood out to me. And then we ended up vibing for almost like half an hour. And then after that, we kind of started hanging out on the beach. And then we went to this convenience store to grab some water because it's really humid and hot. And on the way out, I see this girl eating this super hot ramen, cup ramen noodles. And then as I walk out, I just noticed her and I'm like, "Yo, you sound like, you look like you're just like having the time of your life." You know, like sweating profusely. It's like a sauna vibe. You know what's going on? Yeah, and then we ended up having like a, almost like an instant date type of situation. Situation, you know, I was just talking to her standing up, and then this lady who was working at the convenience store, she pulls out this chair, you know, for me. So we ended up just vibing for a bit. And after that, again, even though I got myself like this big bottle of water, I'm like still thirsty, you know, because I'm really hot and humid. And I see this group of girls, they're having ice cream, and then I asked them, hey, is it tasty? And then one thing leads to another, we are— we're all vibing. And then finally, uh, we're just walking on the beach, almost sunset time, and I noticed this girl, you know, just like really deliciously chowing down her corn on the cob. And I just kind of like talk about that, and she suggested us kind of like sitting by the beach and then watching the sunset, and that ended up being super fun. So all in all, what is the main lesson? What's the main takeaway? Don't have any agenda. Always here to vibe, you know. You're here to connect with someone, you're here to spread good vibes, and you're here to have fun along the way, right? That's kind of how I'm treating. I didn't really— even before starting the day, I was telling Victor and Jerry that Yo, I'm just gonna like say hi to some people, you know, some girls here and then, then like, let's see what happens. You know, I'm just gonna do warmups. But then what ended up happening was that that one conversation ended up being like half an hour. Another conversation ended up being like another half an hour, like an instant date, right? The thing is, I'm not planning on any of this. It just ends up happening. And these magical moments, these spontaneously magical moments happen when you're intensely present in the moment and you're here to play instead of trying to like make something happen. Like, oh, this girl is so pretty, so cute. I need to, I need to like get her number. I need to go on a date with her. No, just like, let's here to vibe and connect and play, have fun and see what ends up happening. So that's really the main vibe. Yeah. And that was a pretty fun day. And it's really kind of like a strong blueprint for you to take away and say, okay, if I want to kind of spread my vibes and like see who qualifies for my vibration and my magic. This is kind of the blueprint. So yeah, that's the vibe.
