I Approached 1000+ Women in 35 Countries: 10 Lessons Learned
In this 15‑minute monologue, the speaker recounts a 15‑year journey in which he approached over a thousand women across 35 countries, initially driven by heartbreak and low self‑esteem. He shares ten concrete lessons distilled from his experiences, ranging from practical tactics (approaching women during the day, not waiting for signals) to deeper mindset shifts (prioritizing personal vibe over physical traits, accepting that not everyone will like you, using a traffic‑light metaphor to assess compatibility). He emphasizes that repeated sober approaches built his confidence, expanded his social circles, and forced him to confront his own insecurities. Honesty and authenticity emerge as crucial, with the speaker warning against manipulation and lies. Ultimately, he concludes that self‑acceptance and inner work are essential; meeting many women can boost confidence but cannot resolve deeper personal issues. He ends with a call to action, inviting high‑performing viewers to schedule a coaching call to improve their dating lives.
Chapters
Over the past 15 years, I approached thousands of women in 35 countries, and here's what I learned. Now, before I talk about the nitty-gritty details of what I've learned, I want to set the context and talk about what fueled the journey, what actually motivated me to approach that many women, and why. Many years ago, I was severely heartbroken and depressed after a breakup, and after a couple of these experiences, I really thought that women didn't like me. My sense of self-worth was really low. I was avoiding any social interaction, let alone women.. And I was desperate to find out more about what makes seduction, attraction, and all of these things work. I wanted to learn more about dating, relationships, human dynamics, and human connection. So I ended up seeking the help of the best experts in the field. And in the journey of applying all the lessons in the practice, I ended up approaching and meeting a lot of women in all corners of the world. And I ended up learning a lot about women, human dynamics, dating, relationships, and more importantly, about myself. Okay, so here's what I've learned. Number 1, daytime versus nighttime. When I look back on the journey of approaching and meeting thousands of women all around the world, it was actually mostly during the daytime. And you might be wondering, how do you even actually make that happen? Isn't it way easier to approach women at night? Yes and no. What I've come to realize is that during the day, people don't really expect to be approached. At night, when you go to bars, clubs, different venues, people expect to be approached, and that's when a lot of activities and mingling, all these things happen. Usually when you go out at night, there's always some type of alcohol or stimulants involved, and I realized that I wasn't just a big fan of that. I didn't really enjoy the vibe of getting drunk and mingling with people. Sure, it actually helps you lubricate socially, and that I liked, But when it came down to it, the idea of meeting someone under the influence of alcohol, the idea of meeting someone drunk and really not remembering much, it wasn't really my vibe. And early on, I quickly realized that I want to focus on more organic connections. So I learned how to approach women during the day, on the streets, in a café, bookstore, at the gym, subway, airport, these daytime organic situations where women don't usually expect to be approached. But once you do it successfully, creates such a magical moment. Also, a lot of the time there are women that just don't like going out at night, and by going out during the day and then meeting women during these spontaneous circumstances, you're giving yourself more of a chance to expand your network and reach. You're giving yourself more of an opportunity to meet the type of women that you truly desire and also fits your lifestyle and vibe as well. Next lesson: you never know what the vibe is like until you make that first approach. Over the course of meeting all these women and also teaching guys how to do the same, I realized that a lot of the time when you try to approach women during the day especially, you'll see that women will be walking super fast, or maybe they're not smiling, or they're engaged in some activity. And a lot of the time at first I would look at that and I would tell myself, wow, they're busy doing XYZ, they're listening to music, they're already talking to someone, they're on the phone. So I shouldn't approach them. But what I've discovered is that you just never know until you make that first approach. You just never know until you make that first move. Instead of waiting for some type of signal from a girl, just by simply giving yourself a chance to say hi to that girl, regardless of what they're doing, you're giving yourself a chance to at least get to know that person. You're giving them a chance to get to know you. So many times I've been in a situation where they seem like they're engaged, in a very busy activity, but then I acknowledge that, I observe that. Hey, I know you're talking to your friend, but I just noticed you. I just want to come say hi. What I've actually come to discover is that oftentimes when you introduce yourself and say hi despite the activity that they're engaged in, they actually really appreciate your courage and effort. So never wait for a signal, just go say hi. Next one. First impressions are really important, but you can always turn around the vibe. It's pretty obvious why first impressions are super important to you. At the same time, I've had so many experiences, when I first make that approach, they have this super skeptical vibe as if like, "Hey, why are you doing this? What is your intention?" And then as I talk more and as I vibe with them more, they warmed up and they start opening up their world to me. And then we start vibing, we start connecting. And then so many things that I haven't even thought about started happening. A lot of these initially skeptical vibes turned around into dates and sometimes connections, more deeper connections and relationships even. I actually came across a comment on one of my YouTube videos the other day, and a guy was like, no matter what you say to a girl, if your initial vibe is off, if your first impressions are off, then like she's not going to give you the chance. That's just not true based on my experience anyway. Don't worry too much if your first impressions are a little bit off. Just continue to have a conversation with them and focus on spreading your positivity, spreading your vibe, and connecting with that person in front of you. Next one, this is fun. Size doesn't matter. I used to think that the reason why I'm not getting the type of success that I really desire is because maybe I'm not good looking enough, maybe I'm not tall enough, maybe I'm not big enough. But what I've really realized is that what trumps every single one of them is your vibe. Your vibe can obliterate any of them. And literally, I've come across so many situations where on the surface it just doesn't click, right? Let's say you see a guy, for example, me, with like a super tall girl, right? Just see me and this girl and you're like, how's that even possible? A lot of the time, It just comes down to your vibe, you know. Your physical features are only one part of your whole package. If you always think that, hey, I'm not good-looking enough, I'm not big enough, I'm not successful enough, for as long as you have this mentality, you're not going to get anywhere. And then you're not even going to give yourself a chance to say hi to that person. You're not going to give them a chance to get to know you. And based on my experience, your vibe, how you carry yourself, what kind of energy you put out into the world, and what kind of connection you have with that person That's a component that truly matters. Next one, no matter what you do, there are people that are going to like you just for being you. There's going to be people just don't like you. And at the start of my journey of learning more about this world, I wanted as many people to like me. What I've come to realize very quickly is that no matter what I'm saying, no matter what I do to them, some people just like me just for who I am. Some people just don't like me and it's not within my control. And rather than trying to control all these different things, well, just find people who just love you for who you are. If you really like them, And if you think that there is enough potential between you two, and if you really want to vibe with them, don't be afraid to express your vibe. Don't be afraid to share your vibe. And when you own your own authenticity, when you own your vibe, that's what really moves the needle. Next one, traffic lights. When you look at traffic lights, what do you see? Green, yellow, and red. Let's say you met a girl. She clearly ticks off all the right boxes. Her vibe is amazing. She's attractive. You have a very carefree vibe. You can laugh about the same thing. Your lifestyle's very similar. You know, you have an intention to merge your lives together. Is going well, clearly a green light, right? Then double down on that, invest in that. Don't waste your time trying to optimize anything or anyone that is clearly a red light. Why? Because wasting your time trying to optimize what's clearly red, it just saps your vibe and it doesn't help you. Let's say you approach a girl and you talk for 15, 20 minutes. If the vibe goes really well, at first everyone is putting their best foot forward. Everyone is trying to get to know each other and there is this facade and mask of charisma, confidence, and a bit of perfectionism maybe, right? And then we actually schedule a date, we go on a date, and then a lot of crazy things start coming up, right? Maybe she herself, like, is a good vibe, but then the way she talks about her friends, for example, the way she talks about the people in her life, even like her ex-partners, there's this hint of negativity, and then it starts like blossoming, and there's like a bit of gossiping. And then I quickly realized that actually this is kind of how she approaches people in life. I obviously sensed something. My intuition told me something about it. But when I first started out, I had like a scarcity mindset. So I was like, you know what, she's attractive and, you know, there's no major red flags. So let me keep getting to know her more. The important takeaway here is that not always can you find out about the red lights in the beginning. But once you start seeing some of these signals, if you notice them, don't waste your time. There's a lot of people out there. Save your vibe and save your time. Next bit. Approaching thousands of women sober all around the world for the past 15 years has been the best confidence builder, period. Objectively speaking, it's hard enough to approach women, and a lot of people, they get into these noisy environments. They go to a bar, club, and they numb themselves with alcohol, and they approach girls. And some people really like it, some people don't. I didn't really like it, so I chose more of the sober route. Just the idea of approaching anyone, period, is like pretty hard enough, right? But when you approach women, you're literally going out there to get direct feedback on your dateability. Some say your sexual market value. And yes, not always is it accurate. Not always is it about like your vibe. Sometimes, you know, it's two people connecting, right? Sometimes they're just like busy. They already have a partner or whatever. But doing it over and over and over again and facing new situations, interacting with new people, and actually finding a way to connect, like, this has been probably the best teacher of life. And through this experience, it's instilled a new level of confidence, a go-getter attitude, and a risk-taking mentality in a way that is really hard to compute mathematically. A few years ago, I realized that what I really care about deeply is helping people feel this genuine sense of belonging, solving loneliness, helping people connect on a deep, meaningful level. Obviously, it's all related to this, right?. And I ended up building startup ventures around this higher purpose. And I probably wouldn't have had the confidence or courage to embrace this entrepreneurial journey if it hadn't been for this type of experience of going out there, approaching and meeting thousands of women, getting feedback. And a lot of the times, like really bad one. It really helped me become comfortable with the unknown, with uncertain situations, with situations and circumstances that I wouldn't be able to predict. And that's kind of the way of life as well. Instill the sense of vitality and energy within me. Next one, I've learned that approaching women in random situations over and over again in all corners of the world is equivalent to building and expanding your social circles in ways that you wouldn't be able to do normally if you were just doing it alone and if you were just relying on existing social circles. Circles. For example, let's say I approached a girl and then turns out she's a content creator. We end up getting to know each other. Let's say we're dating and we're getting into a relationship. Now it's like a completely new social circle, right? Maybe like I wasn't a content creator before. Now like I'm tapping into this like new network. Now when I approach these thousands of women, it's not really about relying on my social circle to meet people, right? There's pros and cons about it, but the fact that I practiced meeting people outside my social circle over and over and over and over again, it really meant I've gotten to know some fascinating people from all walks of life. And it's been so interesting. And it's been a really, really incredible way for me to broaden my horizons and just get to know more about women and human nature and human dynamics as well. Next one, never lie. When I started on my journey of learning more about attraction, seduction, love, dating, and relationships, my first entry point was reading that book, The Game. And quite honestly, a lot of it felt like putting on a mask, putting on a facade and learning these tricks, learning these lines and these routines. And sometimes it felt a little bit manipulative. Not saying that that's what the author really wanted to support, but that's kind of how it came across to me. And I think along the way, because my starting point was— it came from a place of a lot of hurts and a lot of distrust. I also ended up lying to a lot of people. I ended up lying to a lot of women and I misrepresented myself. What I've come to realize after meeting thousands of women during this journey is that anytime there's a level of inconsistency, women can sniff out way better than men. For example, for the longest time, I approached a lot of women because I wanted to feel more love and I wanted to feel that validation. Connection. I wanted other people to really like me. I wanted this connection. But anytime I had an opportunity to actually build a genuine, deep, meaningful connection with someone, actually build a fulfilling and healthy relationship with a fantastic woman, I would run away. Anytime it was about to get a little bit difficult, I would either blame the woman saying that, hey, you know, she's making it difficult, or hey, you know, this connection is doomed to fail anyway. Like, this is not the vibe anyway, you know, I can find another one. And maybe there's some truth to that, right? Maybe I wasn't really developed, and you know, it's always like a two-way street. But what I really didn't own up to was actually my authenticity for the longest time. Through this process of meeting thousands of women, what I've come to perfect was this facade of perfection, this facade of charisma and confidence. And it's an amazing thing. My dating life soared, skyrocketed, and my confidence, like, really took on another level, and that's really good. But what really, really deepens the bond with someone, really is at the core of building a healthy, fulfilling relationship, is facing that fear, facing your vulnerability, and then expressing your needs and talk about what actually scares you and investing in deepening the bond with that person in front of you despite the fears you have, despite the essiness that you might have about your life and how you see the world and all that stuff. But just like, you know, saying yes to it anyway. It was only after I've actually learned more about myself and really own my authenticity and own my honesty, and then I started being clear about my values, my beliefs, and my standards, my boundaries, that I was able to go out there and then start communicating all these things in a very authentic way. So no lies. No lies, not just about you lying to other people. Don't lie to yourself. That's even the more important point. Last but not at least, no amount of meeting as many women as possible is gonna solve your deeper issues if you're not willing to work on them. So I spoke about how I started my journey and why I started meeting all these women. And what I've actually really come to discover is that obviously it stems from this desire to be loved and to feel loved. And at the same time, that love, the most important one, was always about self- and it was only after I acknowledged and I realized that accepting myself for my insecurities, for my, for all my past experiences, and, you know, actually owning up to everything that I've done before and that I've been through, that I realized that this is actually the most important thing. Ironically, even though the actual act of meeting thousands of women has been the primary source of my confidence, the thing that made the real difference for me in my journey towards a more fulfilling, healthy, and loving life. It's been facing my fears, insecurities, and learning to accept and love myself, actually integrating everything, and then going out to the world again and then genuinely expressing and sharing my authenticity and my vibe with the world. It's been a huge journey of self-discovery. I've learned way more about myself than I actually did about other people. I think, yes, the journey is not over yet, right? It's probably not going to be another set of thousands of women. But for me, like, after doing that, it's been— now it's more about actually investing in the relationships that matter and unapologetically communicating and sharing those things with people around me so that we can build an amazing world together. So yeah, those are some of the highlights of what I've learned over the past 15 years of approaching and meeting thousands of women in over 30 countries. If you feel like you're a high-performing person, if you feel like already figured out your career and your health and your life, but for some reason when it comes to relationships, dating, love, you feel a little bit stuck and you need more guidance, you want to finally sort out, elevate your dating life, let's have a conversation. I'll drop a call link in the description below. I'd love to help you transform your love life, your life in general. Keep calm and vibe on.
