In this candid vlog recorded on a bustling Bangkok street, Stephen (also known as Sang Đỗ Tấn) walks viewers through the winding path that led him from a coveted investment‑banking role at Goldman Sachs to his current work as a dating and relationship coach. He begins by describing his nomadic upbringing between Korea and the United States, his drive to achieve the traditional markers of success, and his education at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business. After graduating into investment banking during the 2008‑09 financial crisis, he worked long, night‑shift hours in proprietary trading, where a conversation with his manager about a colleague’s $1 million earnings sparked a pivotal realization: he was not motivated by money. Stephen then recounts a painful two‑year depression triggered by a ghosted “situationship,” which pushed him into the pickup‑artist community after reading The Game. He spent years mastering dating techniques, eventually coaching others, but realized that surface‑level tactics felt inauthentic. This led to a deeper quest for a long‑term, healthy relationship and a sense of purpose beyond mere validation. Seeking broader perspective, he pursued an MBA at London Business School, where he crystallized a higher purpose: reducing loneliness and fostering genuine human connection, especially for “third‑culture” individuals who feel like outsiders. Post‑MBA, he launched several entrepreneurial projects—a networking app for digital nomads, an online event platform during COVID, and “House Manifest,” a residential accelerator for nomadic entrepreneurs—each pivot teaching resilience and aligning him closer to his mission. Now based in Bangkok, Stephen runs a coaching business that blends dating, confidence, and life‑strategy guidance, emphasizing authenticity, self‑acceptance, and the creation of community. He closes by urging viewers to identify their own unique story, pursue their North Star, and consider his coaching as a pathway to personal growth and deeper connections.
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Goldman Sachs. That feels like a lifetime away from me. Never in my life would I have ever thought that I would be here in Bangkok in my late 30s talking about my former life as an investment banker back in the day and how this is my life right now. Literally setting up this camera in front of this bustling street, rush hour, Bangkok. Pretty insane. Technically, I had the job that everyone wanted, and this is how I used to define success. Student Thai working on Wall Street, working at a big finance job. You know, eating out at these fancy restaurants that your company pays for because you're working overtime, and just competing with my colleagues to get that next exit opportunity in private equity, in hedge fund, right? And that was really the vibe back in the day. I think it would make sense to actually talk about where I actually came from. I think I always wanted to have a lot of success in my life. Growing up, I was born in the US, and when I was a little baby, my family moved back to Korea. Seoul, where they originally came from. And I grew up mostly in Seoul until I was 16, and then moved to the US, and then, you know, ended up being very, very nomadic. So nomadic roots run very, very— run deeply in me and my family. And I always wondered, okay, how come my dad is a very successful guy academically? Very, very, you know, he achieved the highest level he ever possibly could, you know, PhD and all that stuff. But how come we're always moving around? Primarily because of our lack of economic resources. And I was like, yeah, doesn't matter like what kind of school you go to, even if you go to like the best school possible, right? Um, yeah, you gotta learn how to make money. And that became my version of success that I really, really want to attain. So yeah, moving to the States learning to speak English properly. I wanted to get into the best school, right? Because that's the version of, uh, success that I was familiar with. Okay, at least get into a top university, right? I went to UC Berkeley. I majored in business, uh, Haas, right? That was the name of the program, and it was very competitive. I got into it, right? And I was really proud of myself for really like going for that, right? And I saw that the smartest kids in my business program, right, the people who graduated before me, they all went into investment banking, finance. And yeah, I ended up doing a lot of internships, right, and essentially got my job in investment banking. And it was funny because when I graduated, it was 2008-2009, right around the time when the subprime mortgage crisis swept the world. And that was crazy, but still, because that was the world that I was familiar with, I really wanted to stay in finance. And at first, I really liked the fact that I was in investment banking, right? I was getting paid a decent amount of money. I didn't really know another world apart from finance, but I was doing it. I think I was really addicted to this idea of prestige, right? And I I certainly enjoyed this validation that I got from my peers and people telling me, hey Stephen, wow, you got this amazing job, like you're such a successful person. And then yeah, like I think I was very much into that. But then there was this one moment that really changed everything for me. Right? So to put into context, I was working in, uh, this proprietary trading function, working in Chicago, you know, working graveyard shifts from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM, like moving there in the middle of winter, not knowing a single soul. And yeah, I just felt like something was wrong with me from a health standpoint. I wasn't seeing the sun at all. I was just miserable, right? I'm a pretty tan guy, right? As you can see here in Bangkok, but I was pale. I remember having a conversation with my parents, and my dad was like, hey, 'This is your first job, like, stick it out there, right? Just keep doing.' And my mom told me, 'Hey, like, nothing is worth more than your health, right? Nothing is more important than your health, right? If you think that, you know, it's not really helping you, like, with your health, right, screwing up, uh, your circadian rhythm and everything, right, just like get out of them.' But even before that, even thinking about that, I think the seminal moment was this. I kept on showing data worked, right? And fucking happened. And I remember having a conversation with my manager at that time, and he told me, hey Stephen, I can tell that It's very tough on you, you know, physical, mental. Hey, that guy over there at this other desk, he went through exactly the same as what you're going through right now, and within 2 years he made $1 million, right? So you can do the same, you can do exactly the same. Stick it out there, right? It's a couple more years of this and you're in a position to make $1 million. And the crazy thing, the ironic thing, is that I, I had essentially built up all these different internship experiences and everything to essentially be in this position to make a lot of money. But exactly when my boss mentioned that to me, I just— that's when I realized that I wasn't really driven by money. And that was a very ironic and counterintuitive and confusing moment. I was like, okay, why is it that even though I am here to do exactly what this guy, this guy who just made $1 million, like, you know, is doing, how come when I hear this message, I'm not I'm not really inspired. I'm not here going like, wow, that's crazy. Okay, sign me up right now. I just need to just stick it out for another couple of years, right? Light is at the end of the tunnel. For whatever reason, I was like, okay, I need to get out of here. I need to get out of here, right? I just need to do something else. I'm young, right? And yeah, like, truth be told, the story is not like, right, I quit investment banking and I became a dating coach right away, right? There are many things happened along the way that helped me realize, help me become closer and closer and closer to what I really, really want to do. But that was actually a seminal moment, right? Actually understanding that, okay, like this thing that I was really, really looking for, this finance job. Well, yeah, maybe I could stick it out for a couple of years and maybe it'll all be fine. And like, yeah, like, yeah, I didn't fundamentally, I didn't really have anything negative about the job, right? I really enjoy the fast-paced vibe of it, right? Just the understanding of— just the idea that I'm here to like move money, right, institutionally. There's something very sexy about it, very attractive about it, right? But then I realized, actually hearing this question, right, like actually having this conversation with my mentor and my boss, that Yeah, that was the first time I realized, wow, like, wow, I've never really asked myself, like, what do I really, really want? Not like, what is a version of Steven that other people would be proud of if I have this job? But what is it that I really, really want, right? And frankly, like, this was the first moment that let me start having this kind of a competition within myself. And after that, I still didn't really get out of finance completely. I ended up getting a job at an investment management company in Southern California. I worked there for a while, and then I was like, you know what, I really want to get into the startup world somehow, right? What does that world look like? I worked at a startup in San Francisco doing Facebook ads, right? At the time it was like emerging. It's really like, let's see how all these online companies are growing, right? So that happened. And then basically, like, I wanted to move to New York and move to New York to join a company, join a big tech company called Salesforce. Worked there for a bit as well. So like a lot of things happened until I finally really, really pivoted to becoming a dating coach. But what really happened was, in addition to this, you know, professional questioning, right, like what do I really want to do professionally in my career, I think What really, really happened was in my romantic life, something really big happened. Now when I think about it, it's quite amusing that I was really influenced by that heavily, but I experienced this situationship and the situationship just ended where she just ghosted me, right? And I didn't have any closure. And because of that, I got depressed for 2 years. Every time I would wake up in the morning, I'd be like, okay, this thing again. Why am I— why am I up? I didn't have any appreciation or any gratitude for my life. I'm like— and I didn't know why I was getting like affected so badly, right? And I felt very bad for myself. I was judging myself. I was criticizing myself. So hard. So many times I would wake up in the middle of night, I'd be like, why this again? I would socialize, I would go out with my friends, right? My friends would be like, hey Steven, this is okay, this is, you know, just one girl. There's so many other way more attractive women, you know, just forget about her, right? And just drink, right? Just forget about her. Didn't help. I would come home from my socializing with my friends, I would break down and cry not understanding why I'm like getting affected so badly. The cycle would continue and repeat again and again, and 2 years went by, and finally I started feeling a little bit better. And I think time definitely helped in terms of healing myself. And then by the end of that depression I started reading this book, very famous book called The Game, right? And this game really, really is a biography essentially of this journalist essentially investigating the hidden world of these pickup artists. And during his investigation, he started really getting involved in that world as well and started learning. And he transformed from this very geeky guy into a bit of a very charming Casanova, essentially. And I saw that and I was like, wow, I need to do something like this. No, I was very insecure, I was deeply heartbroken, and fundamentally, I thought that there was something wrong with me, and I was looking for that validation. And if only I could learn how to talk to women properly. I mean, because this whole thing started with my inability to find closure with this one situation, kid, right? So yeah, I need to do something about this, right? So that was kind of like the first moment And I started really learning a lot about— I started like really purchasing a lot of these different online courses, joining in seminars, taking cool camps, right? Like learning how to talk to women like at night, during the day, anytime, anywhere. Lassumpad there, right? But like, now when I really look back on these moments, like, that was such a seminal, such a critical juncture that really, I would say, like a canon event, right? To borrow Spider-Man's reference, right? All of that stuff happened, and because of that, I ended up seeking a lot of help, very proactive help, right? And I ended up learning a lot, and I ended up really transforming my dating life first, right? And I became really, really, like, good at talking to people, and that was incredible, right? I was getting a lot of this external validation that I was always, always— that I'd always been looking for. And then there was like a second, there was a second journey that made me realize that actually what I really, really am looking for is a long-term, healthy, secure relationship. And what I learned through this journey, you can call it like a pickup journey in a way, right, was how to essentially talk to women in a very polished way, right? Learning to play a certain role or character. And I realized that, yes, I have learned how to play a certain character, but then that necessarily is not really, really me, right? And because I still had, you know, this deep insecurity within myself, I still had an incompletion when I was thinking about my past. Instead of feeling grateful and positive about what had happened in the past, I was still feeling very lost and negative. And I was like, yeah, I need to get back at women. I need to, I need to like show the world how much of a, you know, powerful person I am through showcasing my dating life and everything, right? Like, that was, that was a huge incompletion actually, right? So after a few years of actually transforming myself and even moonlighting as a dating coach with my friend's dating coach company, right, I stepped away because I was like, yeah, well, For as long as I actually have this understanding that the vast majority of these people, these men coming to us for help, right, to get coaching, they also are here to create their dream relationships and build their dream relationships. And I am not able to help them. I may not— I may be able to help them how to approach women, date them, and all that stuff, but then that second part, I have no idea how to do that. Well, then, like, I would feel inauthentic about that. And, you know, I need to actually complete my journey and complete my incompletions before I can actually step back out into the world and really help these men transform. So that happened. And yeah, a lot of things happen, right? And because in reality, the journey is not really like, okay, this happened, this happened, this happened. It's not really linear, right? A lot of these things, different things happen, right? And when I look back, right, there's all these different threads just like interwoven, right, with one another to really make this moment possible— me recording this video in Bangkok. Crazy. And yeah, here's the thing, you know, me stepping out of this world of corporate, corporate world, right? It wasn't just like, okay, you know what, bye corporate world, I'm just gonna do my own thing, right? It wasn't exactly that. I said bye, right? And I started building my freelance business, my digital marketing business. I moonlighted as a dating coach, right? I told you. But then, like, uh, something, something didn't feel quite right. And maybe I think in large part it was I had my own incompletions, like, about myself. I went back into the mainstream role. I enrolled myself in an MBA program. I got my MBA from London Business School. The London Business School. Had an amazing time there. Spent 2 and a half, like almost 3 years in London building amazing memories. And one of the best takeaways, one of the most transformative takeaways from that time, from the era, was me actually realizing and creating my higher purpose. Ever since I was a kid, I I moved around lots, right? And I frequently felt like an outsider, going through a bullying experience, right? And experiencing multiple cultures as a teenager and onwards. This topic of belonging and connection, obviously, you know, romantically I experienced like all these things, right? But also from a macro thematic perspective, I frequently felt like an outsider, right? And I always like tried to fit in, right? And as an adult, I realized, wow, not only am I really worried about how to fit in, it's more about like now I'm actually connecting people, you know, creating my whole community, multiple spots, right? It's something that I'm really, really passionate about, right? And loneliness is something that I've always been thinking about, right? And what if I— what if, what if, what if my higher purpose is actually reducing loneliness? Obviously, it's a really big vision, right? Really big why. Like, I don't know what the how and what in support of that why is going to be, but that sounds like a pretty decent idea. Reducing loneliness, like actually cultivating and creating more genuine connection and love in the world. And that became my vision actually, right? And I finally told myself, if I, you know, I have done so many things, right? Finance, tech, startup, like Moonlight is in Dating Code, all these things, but like Okay, instead of like continuously experimenting with different things and like trying a little bit of this, a little bit of that, like if I have a higher purpose, then like I have a certain direction I'm going in, right? And it's okay if these how and what change, they could evolve, but I would always have a clear direction. And that became the biggest takeaway during my time in London, experimenting with all these different entrepreneurial ventures, right? And all these things that after graduating from my MBA program, building an app that connects my classmates together who are going to be like all around the world and digital nomads, right? Moving to Bali right, and actually scrapping all my funds that I had available to actually build this app, gaining a lot of momentum and traction. COVID happening, essentially wiping my entire app away, right, overnight. Pivoting that into, uh, online event platform where over the course of an hour you can have a series of fast-paced one-on-one conversations with people from your online community or team. Building that, quickly pivoting that, building that during the pandemic with my team, that's the large part, or like the vast majority of them I had never actually met in person, right? Actually building that company, that was amazing, right? And actually pivoting that into House Manifest, my essentially like a residential accelerator for nomadic entrepreneurs and building these residential experiences, kind of like an extended retreat concept across Portugal, Thailand, right? Every single time, like, I've been pivoting, pivoting, pivoting, pivoting, and I've been getting closer to like, okay, this is this is like actually the higher purpose that I'm building. And yeah, like sometimes due to some extraneous environmental circumstances, they fail. They didn't really work out the way I originally envisioned them to. But then I think because the clarity of a higher purpose that I had for the first time after pivoting so many times, right, prior to moving to London, I, I never really lost faith. I never really lost that optimism, that enthusiasm, right, that, hey, I can find my uniquely extraordinary thing that I can really execute on. And then funny thing is, um, there had been many times where I could have actually decided to build my dating coaching, relationship coaching, confidence coaching, vibe coaching business like full-time, but I just felt shy, insecure, and not ready for it due to many reasons. One of the primary reasons I just mentioned, right, a few minutes ago. Yeah. And then as I was building Al's Manifest, I really realized one of the things that I really, really enjoy is that actually getting inside a person's world on a deeper level and actually solving their problems regarding dating, relationships, confidence, life, sometimes career as well, right? The way they view themselves, brain, right? We talk about this concept a lot, right? How you view the world, how you view life, right? And depending on whichever sunglasses or glasses you have, it not only influences the way you look at the world and the way you behave, the way you navigate life, but it also influences the way the world looks at you. It's interplay, right? All these things have been coming into play quite powerfully as a result of me continuously taking action and not really giving up. So in a way, this message is not here to just talk about my life and tell you that, hey, finance sucks, right? Choose something else. Not the vibe. It's more that, hey, really understand your unique path in life. And sometimes your path is not really clear, right, until you look back and call it whatever it is. Like, I used to have my own limiting beliefs about this job as a dating coach, right? Or just the term dating coach itself has a lot of, like, it conjures up a lot of, like, mixed feelings for a lot of people, right? Oh hey, are you here to teach people to manipulate others, right? All these things. But like, no, that's not it, right? Because I know my truth, and as long as I'm here to really own my truth, I'm here to really clearly own Divine, right? And I have my higher purpose very, very clear, and I'm here to help people like me, my third culture brothers, my multicultural brothers, develop love within themselves, complete their incompletions, so that they accept themselves, they no longer judge themselves. And with this vibe, they actually can finally date themselves so that they can actually go out there and express their vibes. And offer their love and value with those, to those, and with those that actually deserve their love and creating genuine love, right, from this position of abundance. Like, that's what it's all about, right? So this message is really about like, hey, Don't stop, you know, keep going. Like, you never know what your unique path is gonna be like, right? And for me, I realized during House Manifest that, hey, like, I really like having these deep conversations with people that I can really resonate with. And yeah, people have been coming to me for guidance, and it's just something that has been happening quite naturally, and Ever since I've decided that, hey, this is the path I'm going to build my coaching business, this is like my how and what in service of the what. And obviously making content is part of that, right? Everything has been flowing so smoothly. Everything has been aligning. Thank God. And a lot of these factors I cannot control, like COVID happening, I cannot control., right? When I was building House Manifest, like, margins not working out, right? All these things, like, yeah, like, I can control some of these things, but like, there are so many things that I just cannot control, right? So there is a factor that is more to do with, I would say, law. And for me, this is my way of— my unique way of really serving people And I'm very happy that I can actually dedicate this time recording this type of content. Like, I wonder what my life would have looked like if I had stayed in finance. Actually, it probably wouldn't be that bad, right? Um, yeah, probably I would stay in an office job, suit and tie, right? Maybe I would have retired already, right? Who knows? But what I do know right now is that this version of myself right now, recording his content in the middle of this, you know, SkyTrain bridge, right, connecting different malls, having this freedom in terms of my time and serving the clients that I want and actually creating this type of content to actually spread my message digitally worldwide. Like, man, for me, this is my version of success. And obviously it's not over, right? I'm still in the very early stages of building my coaching business. And I'm just so grateful. And yeah, like, obviously this journey hasn't just been me just going for what I want, that was like me, me, me, me, me. Obviously my family has been extremely supportive and like just like trusting that, hey, like, he's gonna do whatever you're gonna do and we just support that, right? And yeah, obviously, like, like, some of my friends, like, didn't really understand, you know, why. But, like, also some of my friends were like, yo, this, this is exactly you, right? Go for that, and we're here for you. So I'm, I'm very, very appreciative of the vibe, and for you as well. Doesn't matter how old, how young you are, as long as you have like a good intention, you have a good mission, North Star vision, and higher purpose, and you feel like you have the right sort of story. For me, it just feels like, you know, the whole childhood story and everything professional, everything, all the stories that I just told you about today Like, it's almost like I'm meant to do this, right? Like, the stories are almost too perfect. They're just like lining up perfectly, and everything in my life has been just like aligning because of that. Well, then just like, if you feel like there's like the right story, the right vibe, just go for that. Yeah, I mean, as a Korean person, like, saying no to a career in finance even after getting an MBA, that's like pretty wild, right? Yeah, because like, why not go for a, like, a managerial career in corporate, or, you know, what's up? But like, why not, right? Because for me, this is how I like to play in this life, in this current version. So how do you like to play in your own video games, right? You're the main character. What is your story? Let me know. And let me know how this resonated with you. And if you're willing to, if you see this message and you're like, hey, that was, that really hits me on an emotional level, right? I feel something vibrationally and I want to actually go on a bit of a journey in terms of my personal development as far, right? I've always seen myself as a high-value man, and like, I want to actually align everything in my life, right? Romantically, dating, relationships, love, and everything, but also in my other areas of my life. And I want to see what that would look like, right? I want to see what it would look like to actually have someone in my corner actually guiding me, right? Because for me, throughout this journey, my brothers and my community, the people were there to have conversations with me, right? Shout out to my people, right? My girlfriend, everyone. Without this, like, it wouldn't— like, I wouldn't be here., right? And having that guidance sometimes is extremely, extremely valuable, right? And I can say that pretty confidently after having worked with so many different kinds of coaches in different fields, right? And getting their downloads direct. Yeah, that's the vibe. Getting a little bit thirsty. You can see that, uh, Here the vibe is like lighting up, so I'm gonna go have some food as well. As you can see, right, people walking, vibing. So that's the vibe. Keep Calming Vibe on and let the vibe guide you. Let the guy vibe. Peace.
