After a painful breakup in his twenties, Speaker B stopped ruminating and started cold-approaching strangers instead. Through those conversations, he learned how he connects with others and healed. He argues that massive action worked better than therapy alone.
Are you saying that the evidence you're looking for or the answers you're looking for come from taking action? Absolutely. They don't come from thinking it out. They often don't come from therapy. And that might sound weird coming from a therapist, but I do think that we live in a very overly therapized culture with the understanding that therapy is somewhat of a panacea in that it should be able to cure all that ails you. And I don't think that that's true. Therapy is very good for certain problems and it's useless for others.
This goes back to my early 20s when I was extremely heartbroken after a situation relationship that didn't work out. And I was really blaming myself for the failure of that situationship. I just kept playing the image over and over, over in my head. So then I took massive action to really avoid that pain point. Really, it was primarily driven by that. Then along the way, what I've really discovered is myself, you know, what I'm like connecting with others, what I'm like, what kind of connection, what kind of relationship I have with myself. Why do I have this relationship with myself? You know, What can I do to actually heal my own wounds? None of that happened with me, like reading a book, integrating, just thinking about it and talking about it. A lot of that happened by having conversations with people, putting myself in a situation where I would actually cold approach, have a conversation with someone new. And for me, that's, that's been the best therapy, really. Taking a lot of action is the most precious gift that you can give to yourself.
