In this live, informal interview, Steven—a dating and relationship coach—and his partner Kate discuss Steven's 15‑year evolution from a severe heartbreak to building a coaching business and retreat community. They outline his professional services (one‑on‑one coaching, bespoke retreats like House Manifest), the challenges of allocating time and systematizing his practice, and his holistic coaching philosophy that blends skill development (hardware) with mindset work (software). The conversation also covers Steven’s views on polyamory versus monogamy, personal manifestation anecdotes such as finding a London flat in perfect alignment, and practical advice for people feeling stuck: deep self‑reflection, journaling, using AI tools, simplifying life, and taking small actionable steps. Steven shares his background in investment banking, tech, and a nomadic lifestyle across 20+ countries, explaining how these experiences shaped his coaching approach. The dialogue is punctuated by live chat participants (William, George, Chin, Francisco) and maintains a conversational, enthusiastic tone throughout.
Chapters
No, I feel anxious.
All good, just my— all right, let's do this. That's, uh, sending a couple more links to our friends here.
But how from this thing we can actually see the comments?
So there's like, uh, here, chat here. So when we, when we were testing it out, it was like, yeah, it showed. Yeah, yeah.
And it showed, it's like from YouTube, it showed from YouTube as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think that's That's cool. Let's just quit all the social media so we don't get interrupted midway through. Um, cool. All right, sounds good. Shall we do this? Yeah, yeah, let's do this.
Okay, so we already have chat.
Oh wow, someone's here. Didn't really expect that.
It's, uh, there. Where?
Oh yeah. Yo, yes, William! Thank you, thank you, William. Wow, this is our first ever live, by the way, and, um, thanks to William, who's an incredible lightworker, coach, and mentor, um, mentor of mine, we are here today. And this mic I did go to West End DJ in Oxford Circus to get this literally yesterday. And wow, yes, William, thank you for being our first ever guest on this live. Yeah, so let us kind of explain the context as to why we decided to do this today, particularly, and our intention, our why, our north star vision, and what we are here to do. So thanks for tuning in. We have an audience of one at least. So yes, thank you, William. Yeah, so excited. Actually, it makes a lot of difference, right, having someone.
I thought no one gonna be here. I'm just like, wow, super fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just—
William have a fire reputation. Presentation from— I mean, you've heard, you've never met him, but I heard a lot about him. So the vibe is actually cool. Nice to have you here.
Thank you. Thank you.
Cool.
Wow, George is here. Yes, George. Let's go.
Now everyone's seen our shame.
Our life is public right now. Thank you, George. Wow. Obviously one of my best friends in the world. We've been on a bit of a journey. Yeah. So here's the vibe again. The vibe here is that it's our first time doing our live. And the reason why we're doing is because we want to just like spread our vibe very effectively. And couple of days ago, I was working with my client here in London in person. And it was our first day, coaching together. And it was really cool because I thought it was just gonna be me and the client, but Kate actually joined. And at first I was like, hey, can you help document the whole vibe of my coaching and then what the client is learning and the transformation? And a lot of stuff happened that day, right?
Yeah, a lot of stuff. I didn't mean to stay the whole day, and I thought I'm gonna stay just a little bit because I'm gonna help Steven to film, but then I was super involved in the process, so I didn't even realize how the whole day passed because, uh, just a lot of interesting situations, a lot of, uh We had a lot of fun and also the client had a lot of transformations and I got to see Stephen doing his work. It's really magic, magical. Yeah, and I just realized that I really enjoy to do this as well, be involved.
Yeah, that was really special because obviously, you know, like my girlfriend being a part of the whole thing and that's, it's something that I've always imagined, right? And the fact that just like that whole vision getting manifested, it was really cool. Obviously it's really important to me that, you know, we are building this together in a way, right? So that's the vibe. And off the back of that magical first day, which we're gonna talk about in a bit, um, actually, like, I think it'd be a good, a good idea to have Chin actually as a, as a guest as well, so that, like, we kind of, like, go live. I think that would be a really, really cool idea. Um, we're gonna do that. Um, and at the same time, we're like, okay, there's gonna be just, like, a lot of stuff to unpack. And, um, we actually prepared a couple of questions. Yeah, so Kate is going to ask me a couple of questions. It's going to be a bit of like a spontaneous podcast vibe. And, uh, I'm also going to ask her like about her opinion on a couple of things, um, as it pertains to love, you know, man to women, dating relationships and everything. And, um, yeah, we welcome y'all to ask, um, anything else as well. So shall we?
Yeah. Yeah. So tell us about your professional work. What exactly do you do?
Amazing. I love how, I love how like scripted this vibe is, you know. So tell us about what you do professionally. How do you do one-liner? Like, you better hit it hard. So yeah, so basically, let's see, um, I practice this many times and then like every time I do it, it changes. But at the essence, what I do is I help I help loving leaders create their dream relationships and lifestyles. And I do that through one-on-one bespoke personalized coaching, as well as retreats. And yeah, does that answer the question?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what exactly do you do? Yeah. So like, I think that's like the kind of like the first opening sentence, obviously, but to kind of add to that, obviously, you know, working, working with people like one-on-one online as well as offline. And we briefly spoke about how, you know, Kate was able to kind of witness the transformation of my client on the first day of coaching. So yeah, for, for, for, for a few chosen clients, like, I really, really enjoy working with them in person. And it just so happens that a lot of my skill comes from that world of saying hi spontaneously offline, cold approaching and developing connections quickly and building something really meaningful and soulful from there.
Yeah. Okay.
You know, you don't have to hide it either. You can just like— No, I'm trying to make it easier.
I'm being shady.
Yeah, cheeky.
You're not supposed to see my breasts.
Yeah, I can't see it. Yeah, okay.
Why are you looking here? Sorry, I just feel super strange.
Little, little shy today, huh?
Mhm. Um, yeah, my next question.
Okay, okay, okay, ask me, ask me.
Are you really insistent?
I'm just curious. I'm like, what did you have prepared, you know?
Yeah, um, Now that I know you during one year already, uh, you have a really like this vibe that you're super outgoing. It's really easy for you to make new friends, new people to connect, and you never have any like problems with expressing yourself, expressing this vibe. Um, were you always like this? And if no, how you developed this skill?
On fire question. Yeah, let's go. Um, it'd be easy to say that I was always like this, and I, I think, I think when I was like learning this skill set, like, I probably— I always wish that I was like natural., but obviously not. All of this started from like a very big pain point I had a long time ago, almost more than 15, almost 17 years ago when I experienced a very severe heartbreak after the situationship I had with a girl I was interested in didn't really work out. I think I was really naive back then about like how I thought about, you know, women, relationships. I really sort of like put this girl I liked on a pedestal thinking that, okay, like she is the one, you know, like I need to develop my relationship with this girl and she is like the dream woman. And then when it didn't work out, I was like super depressed to the point where I didn't really, I was avoiding any social interaction for like 2 years. I was breaking down a lot. I remember just like, yeah, just like, I mean, I was in university, I was in college and this is like when I'm supposed to actually interact with a lot of people and all that stuff. And I was just like in a cave, you know, I was like a hermit. And then by the end of it, by the end of the depression, I was so fed up with being tired all the time, being down all the time that like, I'm like, Okay, I need to do whatever I— whatever it takes to like not repeat the same mistake of putting a woman on a pedestal and then really being down. And I really needed to like learn more about, you know, dating, relationships, love, and all that stuff. So yeah, like I went on a journey and, um, I never realized that that journey, like where I was then and now, like it's been like so different. And then yeah, I was just like very, very meticulous about learning how to like connect with people, learning how to like speak to women. And back then it was more about like when I first started out, it was more about the actual skillset, like what to say, how to say it, you know? There's a lot of psychology as well. So how to actually like do the whole, Push and Pull, you know, Neil Strauss was back really huge back in the day. He's the guy that wrote the book The Game, that legendary book. That was kind of like my first entry point. And then I ended up working with a lot of different coaches around the world, more than 10 different coaches, taking a lot of seminars, boot camps, reading a lot of books, courses, just like whatever I could, you know, I like really soaked up. So yeah, so like I did that and Yeah, so basically like the version of Steven you see today is almost like a culmination of like all the heartbreaks and failures, like, like, you know, going up and down. And like George is here, um, and George, George and I actually like, we met in New York back in 2012. And then like we met when like I started like really learning this thing and then I joined like this this dating company from London, and I started coaching actually. And we met like around that time, and then both of us were like, we're going out a lot. So we met like, so he's been like, he's seen, he's seen like a big part of my journey as well.
Yeah.
So that's kind of like the vibe, you know. Should we, should we read what George wrote here? Let's go. What's your biggest struggle right now?
Okay.
I love it. My biggest struggle right now. Oh, that, that cut deep. That cut deep for sure. I had to, I've had to think about it. Yeah. I think biggest struggle right now is to, is to really understand like how do, how I allocate my time in the most efficient way. Yeah. So for me, for me, that's really that. It's not even about like dating relationships or anything like that. It's just like, okay, I've learned this skillset. You know, I'm very excited about, and my purpose is to help people discover their soul's calling, soul's mission, and then really help them equip with the skillset to transform their love, love life, relationships, and all that. So that's fine then. Okay. How do I actually allocate my time in the best way so that, you know, I coach them? How do I make it easy for people to get to know about what I do? You know? And, um, yeah, that's why, like, I've been working with William actually, um, over the past few, uh, few months actually. And, uh, it's been, it's been so transformative, amazing to really you know, get inside people's world and have a lot of conversation and seeing who I can help and all that stuff, right? And at the same time, and George and I, we've been talking a lot about, yeah, he actually, you know, let me know that, hey, what you, I think what you need to focus on right now is to just make it easy for people to find out about you, you know? 'Cause no matter how good you are, if people don't know what you're doing, then it's a problem. So like really balancing, okay, like let's serve the people that I can serve right now. Right. And expand the reach and all of that stuff. And at the same time, like, let's actually, let's actually work on stuff that's gonna kind of like pay off dividends, like in the long term, you know, creating content and like spreading it, actually building a system. Um, so yeah, I think building a system, that's actually one of the hardest things. Like, I'm naturally the type of person that I have a lot of different ideas and I have a lot of, it's like, oh, I wanna do this, do this, do this, do this. But like, how do I integrate all of that? Right. And then like systematize, right. So that I can like, okay, let's tackle this first, this first, this first.
Mm-hmm.
And so we make like a whole system around it, routine around it. So that's, I would say that's probably the biggest challenge at the moment. And it's a challenge I'm excited to tackle. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I really like the questions.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, interesting. How does it feel for both of you when you think about the concept of polyamory or having multiple partners? What arises? Let's get spicy, baby. Okay, cool. You wanna go first?
Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I think I always like think that people just doing what they want to do, if it's not hurt other people, it's good. And they can do whatever they want. But I realize that for me, it's not like the case. I really don't even understand why people doing this. And in my, like, mind, if you love someone, you, like, always need to— not always need, you just don't even have another thoughts about different people. And, um, yeah, it's normal that sometimes in relationship like, uh, you got bored because you just like long time together. But the thing is that you always need to be interested just for yourself first. And when you're interested in yourself, you're like automatically always interested in a couple. So I don't know if people just like do this type of relationship because they are bored, but that's my perspective, if it's like they're doing it for— if they feeling bored.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, um, yeah. And I think that's where we align actually. Um, I think that's Yeah, there's a lot of different versions of relationships out there, and people are more than welcome to experiment with whatever as long as they don't hurt other people and they don't hurt themselves. And they're— as long as they're honest with themselves about what they want, and then as long as they have the emotional maturity to actually communicate this, then I think it's a fair game, right? That's what I think. In my personal life though, I've always I've actually always wanted to have one serious relationship, like a long-term healthy relationship. And, um, yeah, that's why actually personally, you know, just the idea of like switching partners, having multiple partners, like I think when I was really hurt back in the day, and then I had a lot of limiting beliefs about like, women and also about myself. Like instead of approaching this whole topic from a place of love and empathy, I almost wanted to kind of like get back at the world. It's like, oh, like women hurt me. So I need to, like, I don't care if I hurt them, whatever. You know, I think I was like, when I was learning this skillset, like more than a decade ago, I was very, very naive about all of this. So even though I knew that sometimes I would hurt people, I wouldn't necessarily care. I was very numb about it and I was very like, I was coming from a place of hurt and pain. But then actually funny enough, yeah, even though I got to a good place a few years into learning all this skillset, I got to a good place. Like I was able to talk to like women and my dating life improved, my confidence improved, everything improved. What was really difficult for me was that like I couldn't create a relationship actually. And that was such an irony. It's almost like when you think about building your business, you have a lot of leads, right? And I was good at getting a lot of leads, but then I wasn't really good at converting them into what I really, really wanted because I was— what I was focused on was actually protecting myself, protecting my ego, protecting my— yeah, I was just like so scared of— I was just so scared of like being hurt again. So I would rather choose like not having this difficult, vulnerable conversation with this person that I like and then Instead of just saying, instead of really working on it, be like, okay, no, I'm just gonna like move on to the next person. I'd rather choose that than having a difficult conversation, potentially like opening my heart and like being hurt again. So that was it. But then yeah, for me, I've always wanted to have like one, you know, like call it, yeah, it's a bit traditional. And that's the way I am also is this journey has been a lot of self-discovery. Actually understanding that there's a lot of polyamory people kind of doing all this stuff out there, but for me, yeah, definitely just having one, you know, deep meaningful relationship and really building that powerfully, building like a family. That's something that I've always, always wanted.
Really? Yeah. Okay.
More, more things. Okay. Fire. Okay. Fire emoji. Yeah. The monitor is a little bit far, so we have to kind of lean over to like We didn't get the questions, or my eyesight is pretty bad.
Getting old.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it is great that we aligned. If we weren't aligned, we wouldn't be here, you know.
Yeah, true. Actually true. So true.
But it's a really interesting question.
Yeah.
Thank you, George.
Thank you, George. You've never met George, right?
No.
Yeah, yeah, you'll meet him soon, hopefully.
Okay, should we, uh, yeah, I hope it's not like really visible, but then feels super strange and awkward.
But yeah, she also, she always tells me like when she feels down, she's like, yeah, I'm feeling really stressed, and she feels like she looks like perfect, you know? What are you talking about? Like, are you acting, bro?
I think you're just bullshitting.
No, literally.
Okay, what I wanted to ask, if, um, you know, uh, you have always like one thing that I really appreciating you, that like you have really strong like vibe, you know. Thank you. That for example, if it's no Steven in the room, you can feel this. When like, uh, Steven going inside of the room, you already know that he's here. And it's not even like from because he's saying something, just like because of this energy that you have. It's really like strong, super like confident. And, um, that's like I experience it in this life, in like our normal life. But when you're actually coaching, this energy is even elevating because you like more serving. And, uh, this is really like amazing. I just like wondering how like You created this type of energy. And, uh, yeah, you said that like, uh, you went on all these boot camps and everything, but, uh, how is it even possible to like— did you already have some type of this energy before? Or, and you like, just because you became more confident, you started feeling it? Or you just became a completely different person?
Wow, that's such a fire question actually. Thank you. Wow, that's amazing. Thank you for asking me such a powerful question. I think I'd be lying to you if I told you that I knew the answer to that because as I just described very briefly about my heartbreak back in the day, If I, if back in the day, if someone were to tell me that, hey, Steven, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, this is the type of work that you'll be doing. You'll be transforming lives and you'll smash all the limiting beliefs. And yeah, then I'll be like, are you kidding me, dude? Like, like literally, like, I would not believe that. But I think, I think just taking a step back from that one singular moment of that pinpoint heartbreak and everything, Even before that, I think, I think I was always someone who wanted to really vibe with people, connect with people, curious about people. And I think also a lot of that was helped by the fact that since I was a kid, I've always moved around a lot, you know, every 1 to 2 years, always moving around a lot, always like being this new kid, sometimes feeling like an outsider. But then I think all of that really helped because I think I really got obsessed with this um, um, with this idea of like, how can I— what can I do to break into this new social circle? What can I do to build my own tribe? You know, what can I do to— I'm always moving around a lot, so how can I like build really strong bonds so that even if I move again, you know, these bonds stay, stay, you know, and they still run deep? So I think I was always sort of like interested in this idea naturally. But then to say that like I always had this like strong vibe, like definitely not, you know. I think this is something that I've been developing over the years, definitely. But obviously the whole skill set of like, you know, connecting with people, that's one. But actually when you think about it, like not everyone who's had a similar journey has this vibe. So like what is the difference, you know? And I think, yeah, I think just like life has given me some incredible gift as to like, okay, learn this, go on this journey of learning how to connect with anyone anytime, anywhere. Okay, that's cool. Go on this journey of bringing people together, which is what I'm always excited about. And you've experienced House Manifest.
Yeah.
House Manifest is like—
Amazing.
Yeah, yeah. She came to our last season in the Azores off the coast close of Portugal. House Manifest is essentially, um, it's kind of like a residential experience, like a retreat for digital entrepreneurs, nomadic entrepreneurs. We bring them together in a remote location. We live together, explore together, share together, vibe together for 2 weeks to 2 months at a time. And then a lot of transformations happen. Um, so yeah, just like going on that journey as well. And also, you know, like at a certain point realizing that, okay, I really want to, I really want to create my own dream relationship, but then why am I unable to do this? Well, it's because I'm pretty scared of being hurt again. And I just like, don't, I don't like, like, I just, I just, I, Yeah, there's a lot of layers to it as I'm thinking about it, but I think really just like being honest with myself and then like understanding like why I'm having certain limitations and limiting beliefs and blocks, and then really kind of working on them. And obviously, you know, working with different coaches, mentors, experts, you know, taking personal development programs like that really helped. I think also clarifying my vision really helped. Really like clarifying my North Star vision, which is like, okay, I want to, I want to, I want to help people discover their soul's calling. I want to help people foster like this deeper connection within themselves, and then I want to help them connect with others and with the world better. And then yeah, like contribute to like, I just kind of like bringing in the woo-woo vibe, you know, like raising the vibration of human consciousness, but within my, in my own way. Right. And through helping connecting with people and solving loneliness, you know? So like, I think once that became really clear, um, the, yeah, once the why became clear, then the how and the what became really clear. And once I set that why, very strongly. Yeah, like George and I, you know, we went on a bit of a journey together building these different, you know, ways, startup companies to kind of connect people in different ways. And then, yeah, like once that became clear, my professional life became clear, my communication became clear. And like every time I meet someone, like there's a purpose to it, you know? And yeah, let's serve, let's serve, let's serve. And then you're actually starting to start like working on my coaching practice, you know, actually really building this coaching business and then really clarifying like what I should be focusing on. Okay, William has like amazing codes as it pertains to client creation for coaches, right? Like, and the, The first rule is actually always be serving, always come from the vibration of service. And yeah, I think that's clarified a lot. So yeah, in a nutshell, a lot of things have happened in my life and I think they've all taught me how to really like create this vibe. But I mean, you can also see me like here, I'm talking a lot because you're asking me, questions and like going deep. But a lot of the time, like, you know, you see me when I'm in a group of people, I don't usually— people talk, you know, and I'm like just like curious about them. And I think like a few people mentioned to me that like not a lot of people have this level of like intense, intensely focused curiosity. And I'm just— I just want to find out more about them. So it's like, it's almost like, yeah, like when people want to— when people feel very like heard and seen and they feel like, wow, this is like special. I've never experienced this before. And when you create this environment where like a lot of people are feeling the same way, it creates something really magical, right? Where I may not, I may not be talking most of the time necessarily, but like I'm sort of like facilitating this type of environment.
Right.
And that's kind of like what happens at House Manifest, for example. And that's also like, that also happens to be what I coach as well. As well, right? How to actually— how to— when you approach someone new, when you connect with someone, how to actually help the other person be seen and heard so that like they feel this like, wow, that was an unforgettable experience, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
Yeah, so many things.
Yeah, but I'm not Sometimes people don't even need to say anything in order to feel their energy. And like, I think your energy is like this, you know?
Yeah, thank you.
You don't need to say something like to be— to make people feel it. That's why like a lot of people just coming to go to like choosing you as a coach, just want to like spend more time because like people feel it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
Yeah, uh, yeah. And what I wanted to ask, like, you told about all this, like, uh, stuff that's happened in your life, and I, I think, yeah, a lot of factors really formed you as a person. But what would your personal recommendation for someone who like struggling right now in life? And it's like a lot of different information out in this world, like in YouTube, in different like social media, like, yeah, you need to build this like wheel, uh, of life and like you need to put all this into high bar, like this, you know, will of life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So different, like, fields of your life should be 10 level of, uh, I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, uh, some people say that, like, you just need to do what you love. Some people say that, okay, um, you need to plan everything super thoroughly. What's for you like the key for feeling good all the time? And what do you think if everything messed up, like right now in life, what would be your actions if you were in this point in your life?
Wow, such a deep question. I'm really enjoying this, by the way, because we've never really had this type of— obviously we talk all the time about many different things, but I feel like—
but most of the time it's like Emily in Paris.
By the way, the new season of Emily in Paris, um, yeah, just not that good, right? Yeah, not that good. Um, quick, quick switchbot.
To be fair, it's not good.
Yeah, yeah, not that good. But yeah, yeah, so to understand your question, it's like, what would my recommendation be for someone who's going through some tough period right now?
Yeah, and, and it's like they don't know exactly what they want to do, like, and what first action they can make, like, what's this, like the main actions for you if you feel like your life is messed up?
Like, yeah, I obviously— everyone has a very unique situation, so like, without, without actually understanding that person's specific situation, it would be a little bit difficult for me to like to diagnose, you know, very powerfully. But based on that question, I can draw from obviously my own life and the lives of my clients. And it starts from deep reflection. So what does that mean? Okay. If you're feeling that your life is not going the way that you want it to, and it's like, it's really messed up, it's messy, Okay. Let's, let's actually reflect on like where that comes from, like what you're feeling. Let's say if you're feeling lost, you know, okay. Behind, underneath this feeling of lost, there are, there must be many layers of your emotions and feelings. You know, get lost. What's, what's underneath that? Maybe confused, you know, or get confused. What are you confused about? Okay, about my career, for example, or about like, you know, my choice of like partner, like whatever it is, you know. So like you start asking more and more and more questions, you know, and then you go deeper, deeper, deeper to the deepest layers of your emotions, you know. Ask why, why, why, why, why a lot. And then as you reflect on it, I personally love to actually have a conversation with myself just by— I mean, here in London, it's amazing, you can just walk along the canal, walk around the park, or like even going to the gym, whatever. You have an internal dialogue with yourself. Either that, you can actually journal about it.. And when you do that, you have that mental clarity. Once you actually go to the deeper layers of your emotions. And these days there's this beautiful thing called ChatGPT, artificial intelligence, AI, you know, Gemini, Claude, different solutions out there, you know? And actually George does this a lot. And then he actually showed me the way he does it as well. So like you can journal about it. And then you can be like, hey, like, I'm looking to have a breakthrough. You can kind of like have an intention. I'm looking to have a breakthrough from where I'm at right now. And then here's what I wrote, you know. Is there anything else you would want to know, you would want me to tell you in order for you to best advise me on my situation right now? Almost like you're giving ChatGPT the role of your, coach or supervisor or, you know, therapist or whoever, or like a really good friend, you know, who can help you have a breakthrough, you know, from here. And yeah, like once you've gotten that mental clarity, then like you'll know, you'll know what the next steps are. Then one of the most influential books I've read during my journey is called The Power of Now. Have you heard of this one?
I read it. You read it?
Yeah, we spoke about this actually. Yeah, and in the self-help world, people, people talk about this, but quite a bit. But like, there's a lot of this, like, almost like understanding deeper layers of our emotions, actually surrendering yourself to the current situation, right? You're like deeply present with your current situation that it's almost like when things happen in your life around you, you no longer like associate. And the goal is to like not be really affected by anything. Obviously it's hard because humans are all meaning-making machines, right? We always interpret things, but it's almost like you have a bit of a detached sort of like position about what's actually happening around you. When something's happened, instead of immediately interpreting that, okay, like this happened to me, you see it as, okay, this happened and this is my emotion, my emotion. Like this is what my mind, this is what happened within me, what arose within me. Why is that? You know? So you start having like a more detached sort of like vibe about it, you know? Yeah. And Obviously we can all do a better job. I'm also like the victim of sometimes, like, sometimes like things happen and like, like I'm immediately identifying myself with my emotion instead of separating it, you know? But yeah, I'm trying to do a good job of really separating those two. And yeah, from there, having that mental clarity, and really like understanding how to really be present-minded, then from there you'll start understanding, okay, like what you— what you— why, why, why are you there in the first place? What do you like? What you don't like? Or like, what do you— how do you envision your life to be? And then if you're like— you envision like your life to be like here and you're here right now, right? And there's like a gap, then what, what are some of the things you can do right now to move in this direction, just like one step closer? What is like, to borrow the startup lingo, what's like the MVP, you know, minimal viable product? What's something that you can do like right now to take that first step towards there? And yeah, my philosophy is that once you have that clarity, and once you know like where you're going, once there's like the stuff, once there's like some action around, some like vibe around it, you know, vibration around it actually, then it's just like, yeah, everything changes, you know.
Yeah.
And like, you no longer feel like very like down about where you're at. Like you become at peace within yourself and then you know how to sort of like take those necessary steps forward.
Yeah. And I think what is really important here also is to just remove this noise from outside of the world. Because when I feel down, and I had this period in my life when I felt super down, what I doing all the time is just like I'm constantly listening to music, I'm constantly doing something just to like remove this conversation in my mind because I don't want to listen to myself. And I always like, when I walk in somewhere, even like I go to supermarket, I'm listening to something and I'm always like busy with some different information. And it's like all this noise from outside of the world, like everyone saying how to live. Uh, and you a little even confused. You don't know which path you're taking because like you can't even like feel what you're thinking. And in this situation, it's really great to just reduce this screen time at all. And even if it's scary, like, because you need to have conversation with yourself through ChatGPT or Gemini, or just like with your notebook, I think it's really important because like already inside we all know this like answers and, uh, no one really, uh, here to tell you how you need to live.
Yeah.
And only you know this. Um, yeah. And even if like all the steps say, look, like really hard. In the end of the day, like the best steps, it's really simple. Just like simplify life, is, um, make it as simple as you can. Yeah, just, and like, okay, how can I reach this goal? Now I just need to like, uh, find people who already done it and reach out to them. That's my goal for today, something like this. And find these steps. And when you already like have this intention in your inside yourself, um, I think it's nothing really stops you because like needed people are coming to you and everything.
Yeah.
Opportunities because you're just noticing them because you already have this intention.
Wow, deep, deep. She's a manifestation superstar, by the way. More on that later. So many things have happened in your life where it's like, wow.
Yeah, it's like really crazy.
Yeah, really crazy.
When I think about it. Yeah.
What's the latest thing you can share?
I don't know. I think it's both of our powers that we manifested this house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
Yeah, this house, it's like amazing.
We just was looking for a house, not a house, a room in London. That we can stay in during this time that we're gonna stay here. But it wasn't that easy, and we spent almost like 2 weeks to find this flat that we can share. And this— because everything's super expensive here, we needed to find a flat with a room that we're gonna share with other people. Um, yeah, so, and everything was super complicated. We couldn't really find it. Like, some people said that they not allowing us to, like, to live as couple in a room. Someone said, like, okay, the dates are not really aligned, uh, condition not that great, and the price also not that great. So we thought, okay, uh, that's like sad, but inside we knew that something, something great is going to happen. You knew this, but, but I thought, okay, everything like in my life, everything that I want happens really quick, and like If it's not happening, that means I have something that's not aligned in my mind. So I thought, okay, probably I just don't want to live in a room, to share the room with other people. And yeah, I thought about this, and that would be really cool if we can find something. I even talked with this to my mom. That would be super cool if we can find like a place that we can like stay together just and like with a great price.
Wow, I didn't know you actually spoke to your mom about that. Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, and like, and I said, okay, but it's impossible, you know, it's impossible. Like, it's London, it's, uh, like summer. Yeah. And it's super expensive. How can I even find it? And then I'm— I said, okay, whatever gonna happen, I'm just like, I'm just gonna vibe with this, you know, because the, the main thing is to meet Steven. And like, I'm gonna happy anyway. So, and then Steven got this message. You can continue because—
yeah, so basically I was, I was, uh, I was in my previous room. It's like a tiny room. It's like a 3-bedroom flat here in London on the west side. And I was sharing the room with like 3 other people, under the flat with 3 other people, only 1 bathroom. So it's very crowded. I mean, you know, the, the price was great. Like, I got a good deal. I was, I was only there, I was just like doing my thing. Then I was like, okay, you know, Katie's gonna come, so like, let's do it. And then I was looking at a lot of different flats, you know, a lot of rooms. None of them really worked out, and like the situation was messy, and as Kate was talking about. And then basically one, one day I was at the gym and I get a message from, um, uh, this guy Leo, um, who I went to business school with, and we're, we're part of like the same WhatsApp group. And he's like, hey, we have this really beautiful 3-bedroom flat up in North London, North Islington. And we have a beautiful cat as well. And we're looking for someone to move in on August 6th, 2024. And it's like someone who's willing to stay here for like 35 days or something. And then the crazy thing was that I was like, okay, I'm moving out of the previous place on August 6th. So like the date aligned perfectly, right? And then I was like, I hit him up. I was like, hey bro, by the way, like I think it would be a really good fit from a timing perspective, but 3-bedroom, like I was actually only looking for a 1-bedroom and my girlfriend would be joining me. Joining me. And then basically, like, he gave me a huge discount. And, um, yeah, like, he's not here, like, his family's not here, and we're taking care of the cat who's, like, sleeping over there on the other side of the table. And yeah, we, we got here. Yeah, yeah.
And it's, like, crazy because you can, like, explain with your brain how it's happened that Like, the— it's so aligned that someone, um, was looking for someone to, like, taking care of a cat. And, like, yeah, that's the case that happens. Like, some, some people can make discount because they really care about their cats. And, uh, but you can't really explain why it's happened like that. It's like this date, super aligned.
Yeah.
And it's like universe just joking. Yeah, you want it, you got it.
Literally. Yeah. And it was also amazing that our good friend Francisco, like deeper stories on that later, but he's also joined us. So he's staying in another room and Yeah, just everything aligns so beautifully, perfectly. And alignment, alignment is like something that has been very alive for us recently. You know, even, even, you know, our, the client that I started working with, Chin, I'm just like, from an alignment perspective, everything just like aligned.
Yeah. Yeah. I think the great thing is to like, greatest thing starts happening in your life when you really like on a higher energy vibration. Yeah, that's before this like phrase really was bothering me. I mean like, what you say in high vibration, it's like this is super like cringe. Yeah, but now maybe because I visited Bali, something she could change.
Yeah, I mean, when you spend some time in Ubud, you know, that Ubudian energy, you never know.
Hit up Yoga Barn, maybe when I was asleep, just like some different animals download this info in my mind. Yeah, geckos.
Go geckos! In Indonesia, in Bali. I mean, if you've never been there before, you go there and yeah, one of the first things you're going to notice is that there's going to be geckos on the wall everywhere. They don't bite, they don't hurt you, so they're fine. Also in Indonesia, there's a service delivery service. It's kind of like Uber, Deliveroo, DoorDash. They pick you up with their scooter. You can go from place to place, you can order, you know, deliveries, like whatever you want. And there's two services, Grab and Gojek. And one time she's like, yeah, what is that Gojek doing over there?
I just like didn't really remember how gecko, how to say gecko, but I saw it like, let's, it's starting with the same letter like Gojek. And it's like same amount of geckos in Bali like Gojeks. So it's kind of the joke.
That's the vibe. That's the vibe.
Yeah, so just like what I'm saying, that the more I like started to work with my mind, meditate more like giving sort of focus to my, like, how I feeling first, everything became like to do more easier. I, uh, like everything started, uh, going very quickly when before I thought, okay, I can't really focus on how I'm feeling because I need to finish a lot of work and a lot of stuff. And like, I can't— I don't even have time to like meditate for like 15 minutes. And in this thing, I even doing my work even more hard, even more like, um, I don't have certain possibilities, so certain like people coming into my life just because like I'm not caring about my personal like, uh, well-being. Yeah, I forgot this word.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like I just noticed it that the more you like focus on your well-being first, the easier your life gets, even if you think that you don't have time for this. Yeah.
That's, that's also very interesting because like what, what Kate is talking about here right now, it actually pertains to my, my, my own journey of self-development. And also like what I really emphasize when it comes to coaching as well, which is that, okay, there's the, there's the hardware bit and there's a software bit. The hardware is actually you learning specific skills. You know, how to approach women, how to have deep meaningful conversations, how to build intimacy, how to actually express your authenticity, how to make them feel seen and heard, like how to, you know, like express your love. Like all these things are skills that you learn, you know? So like, yeah, the more you learn, the better, obviously. At the same time, on the other side of the coin, there's like the software bit, which is, okay, well, here are your limiting beliefs and here's like how you, like your operating system, you know, like everyone has their own unique operating system. So what can you do to actually clean it up? You know, like, so that it's like, it's very like new and complete and, you know, you can download like relevant information more easily. And you know, you're not really cluttered. You're like, you're not messy. And the thing is like, if you don't, if you neglect that, if you don't even care about that, if you're like, if you only care about improving your skills, right? You can learn how to act like a confident man, but then actually when your vibe is, when your software is not updated, And at a certain point, the whole thing is gonna break, you know. You know, as I was telling you guys about before, where, you know, I was like learning a lot, these skills, but then because I was like, first I didn't actually know about this concept of, okay, looking deep inside. And then I started looking deep inside and it was really scary. And then I refused to go there. I resisted. And when I resisted, then I, Well, then I'm delaying. I'm delaying my progress, you know. I'm just like pushing it, pushing it down, pushing it down, and I'm just like ignoring it. And at a certain point, it's gonna like seep out, you know. And that's not, that's not healthy. So yeah, I think it's, it's very, very— what you're saying really relates to, um, your journey, my journey, um, how I help my clients as well. And also, that's kind of like the difference between like I guess what a lot of other coaches coach. I mean, I've seen more people kind of incorporate more of this element as well, but at the same time, it's just like, okay, like, let's actually— how do we really combine the two? It's a yin and yang balance as well.
Yeah, and maybe you can say more about what is like— how is your approach is different from other coaches?
Yeah, I mean, my approach is really, really, as I said, very like holistic. Um, and it's, it's about really upgrading your software and your hardware and, um, really discovering your soul's calling. And then through that, um, like expressing your true authenticity with love and empathy and and then really helping people spread joy and love. Like that is the core crux of my coaching and my philosophy. And then it's different because I mean, I've developed all these skills from my own personal life experience, right? Having like learning from all these different experts and coaches and, you know, these people, and then actually putting all of them into practice um, by actually, you know, saying hi and approaching women, like, from all around the world in over 30 countries, like thousands. Like, I think I, I started counting and it's probably— it's definitely more than like 5,000 women.
Really? Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah, crazy, crazy. And because it doesn't stop now, like, like, yeah, I still do it, like, mainly like to film and collect I have a girlfriend, so I'm not looking to be in a relationship, you know. But yeah, so like really that, that skill, that which is like very rare, you know, like not just in one setting but like in all these different type of settings from all around the world. And also like the whole like personal development journey of like what is, what is very like, what is my own, what are my limiting beliefs, What are some of the things that I still, you know, think are— think that are stopping me? So actually helping people discover these limiting beliefs and overcome them right through some deep inner root work. And then yeah, like helping them discover their mission. That's very unique to them. And then helping them really align their life around that higher purpose and why. So that they can actually express themselves very powerfully. It's not just like copying someone else's sort of like routine or, you know, behavior and then just like doing it, but then giving— through giving a lot of these different structures and then, you know, upgrading their software and hardware by helping them really express their authenticity, what's very true to them, unique to them. Powerfully so that when they connect with other people, they stand out, you know, because just like the level at which they actually communicate is just like miles different from other people. And also like their vibe is just so powerful because their soul is behind them.
Yeah, yeah.
So, and a lot of that is like, you know, I do, um, at the moment a lot of like one-on-one coaching So some in-person, online, a lot of accountability, a lot of vibe as well. And, you know, helping them understand like how I live my life and just like kind of, you know, giving them the downloads, you know, through showing them like how I'm executing my mission, my vision, right? And then just passing the, Baton.
So it's like community.
Community, yeah, that's also— yeah, I mean, you've seen House Manifest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think this is really important. It's what we talked about, that the more like you have this environment that can help you to develop your skills, the more you develop.
Exactly. I mean, environment is everything. I mean, William said this actually the other day. One of his codes is proximity is power or your superpower. You know, like when you're surrounded by the people that like, like are really obsessed with doing certain things, well, you're going to be doing the same thing. If you want to, if you want to learn how to like meditate, if you want to do that, if you want to develop that as like the best habit, what's the best thing you can do? Well, join, go to like Tibet, you know, join like the Buddhist monks, and then just like they're all going to be meditating every single day, and you're going to be doing the same thing.
So yeah, yeah, I have a couple of questions. Okay, I even forgot about them. You know, you've been in this like black hole, you know, like just Yeah, uh, what is the most important lesson you have learned in 15 years journey?
Oh, the most important lessons.
What is the most important lesson you have learned in your 15-year journey?
The most important lesson We actually made a video about this a few months ago while we were in Bali together.
Really?
Yeah, we did. I think we did. We did. Yeah, I'm gonna put a link actually, um, like 10 lessons I learned from, you know, approaching thousands of women or something like that. So that's, that's like very women, this field related. But I would say just reflecting on the past 15 years of, you know, learning, coaching, all of that stuff, the biggest thing I learned is that, like, like, really self-discovering. That's the biggest, that's the biggest thing by far. Because I really started this journey wanting to learn more about women, about dating, relationships, human connection, communication, and all that stuff. And then in the end, what I really discovered is the deeper— has been the deeper layers of myself. And through that, I got a better understanding of, like, you know, what I like, what I don't like, what are my strengths, what are my weaknesses. And then through that, I was able to really discover my, my real me, right? People always talk about, okay, you just got to be— you just got to be you, you know. But then there's, like, me at the core, and then there's, like, many different sort of layers, you know, it's like an onion. And then basically by doing all these different bodies of work, I was able to discover multiple dimensions of myself. And through that, I learned how to really communicate very authentically what I stand for, what my why is, what my journey has been like, why I'm doing what I'm doing. Why I want to connect with you, you know, why I'm, why I'm creating my life in this particular way, you know, why I'm, why am I designing my life in a particular way, why I'm helping the people I help in my unique way. So yeah, once I've— so like really discovering the deeper layers of me has been the biggest lesson by far.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, thank you for your approval. Yeah, that's cool.
Of course, of course.
15 years, check.
Check, check. Okay, probably the last question from here. What's something about your journey that most people, including your clients, don't know?
What's something about my journey, including my clients, don't know? Wow, that's a very interesting question. What's something about my journey that people don't usually know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's hard, it's hard for me to pick one thing. I think not a lot of people know that, like, I started out my career as a bond trader in investment banking. So I was in finance before. I wanted to— my main goal back in the day was I wanted to make a lot of money very quickly and retire early and retire my— help my parents retire early. That was my goal in my early 20s. And then that, you know, drastically shifted as I started discovering more about myself and started— I went on this journey. Um, so there's that.
Um, how long have you worked in finance?
Not that long. I mean, I did a lot of internships during college and then I was in it for another, after I graduated from college, I was in it for like 2 years. So like collectively probably like 3 years or something like that. So I wasn't in it for that long. Yeah, but then I switched and then investment banking, tech career. Actually, now that I'm talking about my career, I think I understand like some of my journey. So yeah, like some of the more interesting things that, yeah, like I started out in investment banking banking, and then I switched to tech. And then basically, like, I used to— and then I got involved in dating coaching because as I learned, as I started learning, I started coaching with these other— with this other company, you know. So I actually was a dating coach before I started growing my own dating coaching business, like dating lifestyle coaching business. Like, I was in it, um, along the way. I My first job, to get my first job, I had more than 100 interviews. I was telling you about this earlier.
Yeah.
Because I graduated in 2008 when there was like a big financial crisis across the world, mainly stemming from the US. Multiple big banks were collapsing and everything, and it was a difficult time. So that was like a bit of a very interesting journey. I really learned how to be more resilient I got fired and laid off multiple times, more than 3 times. So that not a lot of people know, know that about me.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In particular, there's one thing that really stood out. I, I, in my early, in my 20s, in my early 20s, mid-20s, I had always wanted to move to New York. I went to college in San Francisco, you know, California, and then I always wanted to move to New York, right, and live there. And basically, like, I was working at a startup company, and then, you know, I told them that I wanted to move to New York. They approved. Okay, Steven, you're good to go. And then basically they were not willing to raise my salary. And I was like, okay, that doesn't make sense. You know, I'm doing, like, my boss at the time left, so I'm doing the boss's job. I'm doing more work, more responsibility, and doing a good job. Moving to New York, more expensive. So why not, why are you not raising my salary? And then at the time there was a competitor who started talking to me. And then basically I told them that like, okay, I'll sign with you guys if you double my salary. They doubled my salary, they moved me to New York. Within what, like literally, I started working with them for 2 months in San Francisco and then I moved to New York and basically a couple months into it in January of 2013, 2014, my memory is a little bit hazy around the time, about 10 years ago, basically the CEO of the company fired the entire New York employees, New York-based employees, and I was one of them.
And I was like, okay, but why?
Because, um, the company lost one of the major clients, and basically they didn't know how to like manage their finances very well. So yeah, like, I was fired, and along with like everyone from the New York office. And I was like, okay, I just moved to New York, I lost my job. Super expensive. What do I do? Um, my back was— back was against the wall, so I hustled a lot to kind of get a new job.
Um, in finance as well?
No, this was, uh, I ended up getting a job in at this company called Salesforce. It's a big technology company. And, um, I was doing— so I was doing a lot of, um, so at the startup, like, a couple years prior to that, I was doing like a lot of Facebook ads, you know, this was like the birth of Facebook ads, you know? So like I was helping other companies increase their presence and social media engagement through Facebook ads, you know? So I was doing a lot of that. I was hired, I got hired by Salesforce to essentially do the same thing for their clients. I did that. Yeah, what else? I mean, there's actually the more I think about it, there's a lot, there's a lot to it.
Yeah, I didn't know always like, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that. I used to be very insecure about, I mean, I spoke about it. I used to think that love was not in the cards for me. I was very insecure about everything, everything, like my— the way I look, the way I behave, just where I come from, everything.
Yeah.
And I really, really deeply believe that some of the previous situations and relationships didn't work out because of that, because I wasn't worthy. And, um, after going on this journey, I completed all of them very thankfully. And in a way, I'm very thankful that I experienced all of that because without those experiences, I wouldn't be where I am. Oh yeah, another thing, um, I— a lot of people assume that I grew up in the US, like I was born there, I grew up there. I was born in the US, true. Um, when I was 2, my family moved to Korea, so I grew up there mostly until I was 16. So like, I spent like my formative years actually mostly in Seoul, South Korea. So I'm a very— I love being in the city. It's like I'm in my element. So I love cities like London, you know, big cities. At the same time, once you've experienced Bali, the Ubudian vibe especially, yeah, how can you, how can you, how can you go back, right? Um, Yeah, and then so that's like a story for another time. Like I, for the longest time, I really didn't want to associate myself with being Korean. I used to be very ashamed of being, of having Korean origins because I was like, yeah, I got bullied a lot. It was just like, it was pretty tough for me as a kid, just like, moving around a lot, all that stuff. And like, you know, I wanted to be different, but then like, you know, they bully you. Like, there's many different things. And yeah, I kind of like wanted to reinvent my identity, um, and then moving to the US and all the help. And now everything is a bit of a different story. So like, there's that, um, I briefly talked about how I moved around a lot, um, I became a digital nomad, really. 2014, I quit that job. I got that new job after getting fired. I got a new job. I was in that job for almost a year. I quit that. And ever since then, that was like, that was 2014 and it's been 10 years. Ever since then, like I haven't had a, like a corporate job. I did like, I was a consultant to a couple of companies, but I haven't had like a corporate job. And then ever since then I've lived in over, like 20 countries.
That's crazy.
Yeah, from like 1 month to like 2 years, 3 years. Um, so I've just been very nomadic, and, um, we're gonna talk more about that obviously as we, as we do more of this. Yeah, but yeah, wow, it's been an hour and 15 minutes, and yeah, I think this has been a Pretty fun vibe. Yeah.
Yeah.
How'd you feel? Um, a little shy.
No, now it's better, but it seems for me that I didn't really, uh, share anything crazy. But, uh, yeah, because in a moment it's really hard to like relax and be in this vibe. But at the same time, when I'm just talking with you, yeah, it's really easier. And also, I think we had a lot of fun.
Yeah, yeah, same, same. Um, yeah, I think we always talk about how like the first, first time you do some certain things is like always the hardest. And now With this technology, we can do it together. We got this beautiful space as well. So very thankful. And yeah, what are your takeaways from today? Today's vibe doing this?
I don't know. Before, it just was for me life thing. It was super like scary, far away from where I am. I thought I can only do it if I'm like super expert or something like this. And, uh, now obviously we don't have a lot of viewers, but at the same time I understand that, uh, the fear is always where you don't know what it is. But when you actually start doing it, you realize that you never can guess with your mind how it's gonna be when you never— when you haven't tried it. So it's great to try something new. And, um, yeah, I think that's really interesting.
Yeah. Amazing. I love that. And I've also had a lot of fun and we're just getting started, baby.
Yeah.
So yeah, I guess that's it. Should we wrap up? It's almost 8:00 PM here. So let's go have some food. Keep Calm and Vibe On. Yeah. Hopefully it was fun. See you soon.
Now it's for viewers.
Really? Oh, I didn't even know that this is like what the vibe is like.
I think this is, but I'm not really understanding.
Really?
Like here.
Oh yeah. Wow, this is cool actually. Yeah.
Wow.
Huh?
Stop, stop. I just want to see 3 from YouTube and 1 from Twitch.
Wow, Twitch. Yeah, this is really cool actually, because before today I never even experienced Twitch, and now there's, you know, it's cool.
Yeah, so we're sending some— sending love, love for people who watching and wish an amazing time. I don't know what time is now for you, but the time is amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I wish you that.
Keep calm and vibe on. Much love. Is it this one?
No. Bye!
