Gratitude Is Sexy

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Okay everyone, welcome to this very special Thanksgiving episode of Sex with Emily. We are talking about how gratitude and appreciation, not only on Thanksgiving, but gratitude and appreciation in your life and towards your partner will definitely strengthen your relationship and help it grow. And I'm going to tell you how on this episode of Sex with Emily. But first, okay, here's the deal. I've been talking about these beautiful aromatherapy sensuous, sensual massage candles for a really long time now, and I feel like every person I give them to freaks out and they're like, they're the most amazing thing, they changed our relationship, they smell so great, I just left them out at a dinner party. But then there's some people that have never actually experienced it or touched it or understood it, which is why I have to do like a video so you can all see these things. They're really beautiful, they smell great, the scents are aromatherapy and seductive and they just, they relax you just naturally. You can light them when you come home from work, but also a massage candle is the perfect way to set the atmosphere in your house. 'Cause you light a candle, you automatically feel calm, it sets the mood, and then of course, you know, amazing sex will follow. And if it does, then you've got this candle, it's by Emily and Tony, I made it with my partner Tony, And it looks like a regular candle, like I said, and you blow it out and it instantly turns into the most like warm, luxurious massage oil. And you can pour it on your partner. It's not like messy or waxy or sticky or hot. And it feels amazing. And you open up and you're slippery and it's not, doesn't get your sheets messy, but it just feels great. And you can just, ah, just love them. You know what I mean, Anderson? I just feel like I have to explain it. So go to emilyandtony.com. Use coupon code EMILY for 20% off. And also Black Friday weekend, this is freaking huge, you guys, through Cyber Monday, get 30% off all Emily and Tony products. So that's what you got to do. Check it out this weekend. EmilyandTony.com.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Hey Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my, do women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry, it shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com, which— oh my God, this is the week that you have to go because because it's so exciting. It's the holiday season. Um, Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. I'm grateful for all of you. We're going to get into that tonight. Show is about how gratitude will really— what is that noise, Anderson?

It's a turkey.

What's a turkey? I didn't even get that was a turkey because you just eat them.

You don't hear them before they die.

Oh, now I'm not gonna eat that turkey this year. Thank you for nothing. Oh dude, that's a turkey. Is it?

It's absolutely a turkey.

You're right. Um, Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, Em.

I'm grateful for you.

And I'm grateful for you.

And this is also, we're gonna get into that because here's the thing, one of the biggest complaints from couples who are in relationships or just people in life, like at work, Anderson says this all the time, they don't feel appreciated for what they do. They don't feel grat— and they don't express also other people gratitude towards their partner in work and in life. And a lot of us just feel that we go through life and we don't feel appreciated and we don't feel grateful sometimes, and it goes both ways. No, no one's perfect. But in a relationship, it's so important. Or even with your friends, or someone you're dating, or even somebody you have a one-night stand with, you know, being grateful and appreciative is important all around. And we're gonna give you some tips and tricks to, you know, improve it, because it'll help your relationship.

You're gonna tell us how to be grateful to one-night stands? Because that's something I could have known to deal with.

Be really grateful, but don't be a douchebag at the end of it and be like, I'm never gonna call you. Just be like— or be, be you. You do be, that was a really fun night, my intentions are right now I'm not actually looking for a girlfriend, but I had a great time. So don't let her sit around and obsess about you and like, is he gonna call? Just like let it be known. That's a way to be respectful towards your one-night stand, don't you think?

Yeah.

Be honest with your intentions.

I was always like really uncomfortable and like I've had like lunch like literally 2 years later, 'cause I've made like a friendship out of the one-night stand, 'cause I felt bad. Yeah.

Wait, you made a friendship out of them right after?

A couple times, yeah. I got, you know, we wanna talk for a while, but then, Just like phone conversations, then I'd be like, they're friends.

That's cool.

No, because they weren't people that I wanted to see in the morning.

You just felt guilty, so to your— okay, that's odd. So you know how you could have saved yourself? You could have been clear with your intentions, but the problem is, I suppose, is that often— or tell me this, Anderson, when does the one-night stand bell go off? When is it like, I know this is a one-night stand, and I know that it isn't? Because is that the reason why maybe you don't know how to end it, because you're not sure if you'll see them again, or by the time it ends you're pretty sure?

By the time I'm like sobering up usually.

So it's always just a drunken one-night stand?

A lot of the time, yeah.

But what if it's a drunk?

Or like if she's like doing things with me in the backseat of like my friend's car, like when I'm not even asking for it, like on, you know, and I just met her that night, it's like, oh, okay, so I'm not gonna see this girl hopefully after tonight.

What, because she's?

Because she's a little too, uh.

Aggressive. So girls should not be that forthcoming on the date. Absolutely not. I've met with many men. Now a lot of people have slept with women meet men on the first date and get married. And I don't advocate it just because you just don't advocate marriage. I've never had marriage. I just think that it's always better if you always ask me like, what's your, you know, thing about is there— how many dates should you wait or whatever. No, there's no rules. I'm not saying you should wait 3 dates before you sleep with someone, but I think that when you do have sex with someone too soon, it becomes a sexual relationship right away if they ever call you back. That goes for men and women. Or it's better to get to know somebody And then you like— and the best part about sex, as we know, is the anticipation and the buildup. So why not make that last? Get to know that person. Because you have sex on the first date, then it becomes a whole sexual thing, and then you don't really get to know them.

Every now and again though, there is that immediate connection, and like you feel like you've known the person for years after the first hour of meeting them.

Yeah, you really need to bone that first night though. Can't you just feel her boobs or something?

Right, can't you just pinch the boobs?

Can't you just like, you know, rub her over her panties or dry hump?

Just light a candle and massage her down.

I'm not telling these— these people, you know, my guy friends are like, I got laid by your candle last night. I'm like, I know, it smells amazing.

And you guys suggesting they bang the candle or they got—

they get laid because they light the candles. And he's like, look at my Emily friend, Emily made this really cool candle. And then they like, here, feel it, because you just— like, I use it. Oh, here's the other thing, I use it every single night. I wear— I— we blow it out, I light it when I'm getting ready for bed, blow it out, and I pour it on my body as a moisturizer because it's coconut oil and soybean oil and all natural, and it's moisturizing. So I don't have a goddamn person to— I was gonna say masturbate— to massage, to massage every night, or to massage me many nights. Most— okay, let's just say this: most nights I don't, but I use it every day and I smell and feel amazing and soft.

I just light it, uh, like 3 or 4 of them. I put them on my windowsill and women just come over.

They do.

They smell it. Yeah, like down the street, like the fat guy in the cartoons with the, with the bacon.

Oh, but they do.

Everything's bacon. I hate bacon.

There's like bacon condoms. Okay, here's the thing.

So, uh, bacon condoms.

Oh yeah, there's bacon lube. So here's the thing, holiday season, as you know, like I said like 20 minutes ago, you should go to my website because if you still need gifts— oh no, this is the time because it's Thanksgiving, everyone's going shopping, Cyber Monday, or what is it, Black Friday, Cyber Monday. I've got all these special deals for you. All the places I've been talking about are all having huge sales. So for example, um, Good Vibes is having a huge statewide— statewide— website-wide sale, which is like 25% off. I'll give you some more details. And then also, there's a lot of Black Friday stuff. So if you sign up for my newsletter and you go to my website, just read my blog, you're gonna see all these amazing products which you can actually buy for your partner. It's gonna be gift guides— what he wants, what she wants— because I know what they really want. They want something sexy, and that will improve your sex life. Just one thing. You can get them a bunch of other things for the holidays, like a sweater water she wants or a massage, but a little something sexy never hurt anyone.

And the sex toys and clothing and whatnot, it's like, it's kind of like cars. Like, who pays full price? No one. Don't pay full price for that. Never walking off the street and just pay.

Well, don't say that because, you know, yeah, no, you're right. I always give discounts.

Everything, everything connected to Emily is always discounts.

Always. And it's always stuff that I've tried and recommend. So anyway, do that. And then also, um, so that on sexwithemily.com And you know that there are awkward questions also coming up over the Thanksgiving holidays when you go home. Like, what are you doing?

I'm splitting it with the two crazy families, my wife's and my own, yeah.

Is that— do you like them? Good times?

Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of insanity.

Okay, I get it. You know, the in-laws. But there are some awkward questions like, why are you still— you know, who are you dating? Why are you still single?

Why isn't that a baby?

Right, that's the worst. Do you get asked that question? You must get asked that all the time.

My friends, my parents and in-laws don't bother me at all, but my friends— That's good, 'cause they know.

I think that that's a really bad question to ask. Ask someone. No one wants— okay, I don't know anybody who wants to be asked that question who's trying to have a kid or is not, because they don't know when they're having it. They're going to figure it out when they do, and they don't want goddamn pressure. Because all my friends who are married without kids complain about the same thing. So there's a tip for you guys on Thanksgiving dinner.

Or like, if you have a pushy mom-in-law, just be like, hey, well, she keep— no, my, my mom-in-law is not. But you could say, hey, I've got her, I've gotten your daughter pregnant 3 or 4 times, she keeps aborting, it's not my fault.

Exactly. That's a good one. That's a great one. That would be a great conversation for Thanksgiving. My family, one time at Thanksgiving dinner, my brother whipped out the Kim Kardashian sex video. Like, at dessert. Is that inappropriate?

Like, on his phone? Or he popped in a DVD?

No, he was like, no, it was when it came out. He's like, oh, check it out, have you guys seen the Kim Kardashian? My family's so—

And did everyone crowd around?

Yeah, it was really funny.

That is such a typical Sex with Emily Thanksgiving family.

I know, exactly, my family's all sex crazy. I just had that flashback. But usually I go home to Michigan. This year I'm not. Um, but I, uh—

Good, 'cause last time you went to Michigan you almost died.

Right.

So don't do that.

I won't do that again, exactly. So, um, yeah, so it could be awkward, so good luck to everybody about that. And just be yourself, be open, and, uh, have a good time, relax. Thanksgiving is time to be grateful and happy. So also, you have to, uh, watch the shows every Thursday online. Uh, you can watch and listen live, 8:30 to 9:30 PM Pacific Standard Time on the Sex with Emily website.

Except for this Thanksgiving, 'cause you'll be watching sex videos with your family.

Oh, except for Thanksgiving, because you'll be watching whatever new sex scandal. No, you will be.

We're not gonna be in here doing a show. No, I'm not with my family.

I mean, that was once. We don't talk about sex. It was just a random flash I had that I thought—

Your brother does not like that you do this for a living.

Um, he gets a kick out of it. Why? Did you see— why?

Because he was on the show. Oh, I thought he was watching. Yeah.

You know, he loves it. He thinks it's hilarious. He likes the perks, and he thinks I'm funny, but he doesn't want to hear me talk about my sex life. And I think he still thinks you should get a stable job.

This is pretty stable for you. You're successful. You're really good at what you do.

Yeah, but it's taken me a like 10 years to, to finally like be able to like make a living, which is one of the things I'm grateful for when I get to my gratitude list. No, but yeah, it's been freaking hard and I've struggled a lot trying to be an artist, you know, creator. It's hard. Um, also follow me on Facebook and Twitter and all that stuff because you should, and Instagram. I know that you all are— everyone's on Instagram, like that's the thing. So if you're on Instagram and you like me and you like listen to me, don't you think that my Instagram, @sexwithemily, is awesome as well? And I'll have pictures and funny things that will make you laugh and think about funny things that have to do with sex sometimes in relationships. You should do that. And Twitter, Sex with Emily. Okay, so here's the first thing. Today's show, like I said, we will be talking about appreciation and gratitude, get to some of your emails if we can, but first I wanted to say that Thanksgiving is a very important time of year because we really do stop and we are grateful for what we have in our lives because honestly We have a lot of gifts and blessings. We do, right? Understand, like you and I, we sit around, we're like, this is hard and that is hard, but it's important to like, you know, we're lucky we're here. We're healthy. We're happy.

You gotta appreciate what you got. Put things in perspective.

You gotta, right? We have so many wonderful gifts in our lives. And so that's why, like with my meditation that I'm doing now twice a day, I always have 3 minutes of gratitude at the end where I'm grateful for things and it just makes life a lot better. So I have to say, um, happy Thanksgiving on my listeners. I'm very grateful for all of you, really, for listening and for supporting the show and being a fan. And I could cry.

I just— don't cry, please. It's getting uncomfortable in here. I just learned today, actually, that it was a lady— I can't remember her name— but she was actually the one that petitioned the White House for Thanksgiving to be held every year. And it was kind of in an effort to heal the wounds of the Civil War. And it was Lincoln, President Lincoln, that put it into law. Back then there was only a couple national holidays. It was George Washington's birthday and Thanksgiving, I believe.

Wow.

There might have been one other one that slipped my mind.

And it was for the Civil War?

It was shortly after the Civil War and there was still a lot of strife and they wanted to create, she wanted to create a holiday that's just about people getting together.

Yeah, and it is.

And being thankful for what they have.

Exactly, 'cause we all, you know, our mind, you know, we tend to go a lot of times, and this is the way we're wired, to go towards what's bad or what's wrong. And I think a lot of humans, we sort of suffer with that fact that our mind just has that, you know, that way of going, what is it called? Like just the negative, easy to get in that negative hole. Yeah. Very easy. No, but like it's a Buddha said, like there's a universal law of suffering. So we all suffer in some way. We all do. But you know, as long as we can just, you know, try to be grateful and happy or, you know, happy challenge sometimes, but be grateful for what we have. So I'm thankful for many things and I just wanted to say that I am, like I said, thankful for my listeners because it's been a lot. It's almost 10 years. Like I have to do like an anniversary show or something, but I'm thankful that I actually got to, I have a career doing what I love, like actually make a living and pay my rent.

You deserve it. You work really super hard.

I have 10 years.

A lot of it involves like pleasure and sticking things inside yourself, but you work very hard.

I do. I do work hard. And it's because— and actually it was like following your dreams. It was an idea that I had about helping, like helping myself really, which is something I'm writing about right now. But how it got started for Glamour— I have a column on Glamour, by the way, on Sundays. But it's talking about how I started the show. One of the reasons it inspired me was because everyone kept talking about What great sex they were having all the time. I'm having the best sex of my life. I'm like, what the hell does that mean? So, I mean, you guys, I don't know if you know the whole beginning story, but that's how I started the podcast. Cuz I was like, I don't think I've had the best sex and I don't think that everyone even knows what good sex is. And then relationships and the whole thing. So it was hard and it was a long road. It's probably been about, you know, 7. I feel like it wasn't make, didn't even make any money for the last few years until the last few years. So it was hard and I had to give up a lot, but cuz I love you all and I love doing it and it all happened. So stick to your dreams. That's what I gotta say. And I ask people for advice more often who know things more than you do. Okay, I'm thankful for the perks of my job because I get to meet and, uh, learn from so many interesting people and guests. We have good guests on the show. People with, like, alternative lifestyles, sex experts, occasional porn star, uh, whoever. Who was your favorite guest? Who's your favorite guest? Who'd you learn from?

I like that guy that you had on a couple weeks ago.

He was awesome. David Lay?

Yeah.

The Myth of Sex Addiction?

Yeah.

He was amazing.

'Cause I was worried about that. I thought he was gonna come in here and go, hey man, you know, it's not an addiction, man. And like fight with Dr. Drew when he came in here later.

Right.

I was like uncomfortable and worried.

Me too.

And he kind of ignored me in the hall when I walked by. He was just talking to you, so I didn't like him. I hated him. And then within, you know, first 10 minutes of the show, I'm like, this guy's awesome. Yeah. I like the guy a lot.

He just turned right on. He was great. Oh my God, that was a great show. Go check it out. David Ley, L-E-Y. Another perk is, okay, So yeah, I get to meet all these people and it's inspiring. We get a lot of— another perk of course is that I get, like, my job is all about pleasure. Like, I can experience pleasure so I can teach you all how to experience pleasure. And it's reciprocal because the reason why I wanted to, you know, again, do this is to help everyone have better sex, which is like the best thing in the world is sex. Really, truly, what else is there? And I get sex toys, lubricants, every other sex product. Like, you should see my office right now. Pejour, which is my new favorite lube, sent me 100 baht. Like, I can't walk through my house. What?

You bring some in?

Yeah, I did. Do you want a bottle? Yeah. Do you need some?

Why wouldn't I?

You're gonna— okay, I actually need you to test some of it and see what you think.

I use it on my tires. It makes my tires efficient for gas.

No, you can't freaking steal my really nice Pejor lube. P-J-U-R lube. It's amazing. Check it.

And no, helps me slide down the road, dude.

That doesn't help me. So, um, I test them all, you know, so you don't have to, because I only tell you about the ones we've tested and that I think are the best. Also, I'm thankful for my team. This is really what I'm most thankful for. And then we're gonna get on with this stuff. It's a fricking— I have a lot to say, but really, this is really tough for me. This is very—

why? Because I, I, I think thank yous make me uncomfortable.

No, no, but I am so thankful for you, Anderson. You're so awesome. Like, I didn't know, we didn't know this would work. I'm like, hey, we do the thing and I love you and you've been awesome and you put in the time for me.

Oh, you liked me before that though.

I always liked you, but we'd never done like this together and you've been awesome and my audience loves you and you just have great insights and advice and you always show up and you're cool and you don't—

oh, thanks.

And for all everyone that you hate and get mean to all the time, I feel like I'm at the bottom of that list if it ever does happen.

Yeah, you're right at the bottom. You're still on the list, but you're at the bottom.

I know, but I like that. Like, I know that I'm not the first person that you're gonna hate, and I'm actually so honored that you liked me because I know you don't like most people, so thank you.

And you rip me off my couch from my wife once or twice a week, and it's really annoying having to leave my wife, but you would be one of the very few people who I'd be actually excited to jump off the couch, leave my wife, and come work with, 'cause we always have a very good time. In a good way, like not in a way that would make me feel aggressive.

Totally true. Got it, thank you.

I've been ripped off my couch by many people in this business and did not enjoy it.

That is a very high compliment. Especially coming from you. I appreciate that. And also, um, I have to thank my team. That is amazing. Again, I've been doing this for a long time and God, it's 50. We've been going, I was gonna get to the topic is that it's taken a long, right? I could, I had interns, I've had amazing interns over the years, but like I didn't really have like a staff that I could, again, it's a startup. I'm trying to do this thing and now I feel like I have the most amazing team, Kimber and Madison, who you've met, who have, who've been on the show a little bit. Kimber hasn't yet, but they're just amazing. And I feel like my whole, the whole thing is just this is gonna be an amazing year for us because we are going to be doing so many things that are going to even blow your minds and our minds as well. So, and I wanna thank my intern Ruby and Anderson and Rune who helps out with the show and Madness who does the show. And of course my friends and family, you know, like that. I was gonna get into all these things about sex, but I don't know where I'm just, I'm—

thank you for the clitoris.

Thank you for the clitoris. And thank you for, um, the testes.

Thank you God for the testes.

No, I was just gonna say this really quickly is that things in life. I wasn't going to go on that long, is that sex is something that we should all be thankful for because sex gives you orgasms. I'm gonna do it quickly. Sex makes you happy. This is— if you're not having sex, here's the thing. The brain releases all these feel-good chemicals like endorphins and serotonin and dopamine. And when you've decreased stress, because we're all fucking stressed, you're like, oh, this is a good day. So have more sex. Sex burns calories, so you don't have to go to the gym. 200. It's like, it's like a treadmill.

Okay, careful, careful. I'm kidding.

Go to the goddamn—

don't drink that water in the mic. What are you doing? You're drinking in the mic. Stop it.

Oh my God. Okay, so I can't cut myself off here, can I?

Did I continue? And then we'll come— we'll, we'll—

there's a reason why we just did that. Okay, so it makes you happy. It does. It's like, it's like, it's like Prozac, but you're just having sex. Okay, burns calories like running on the treadmill or something. You can have like an extra piece of pumpkin pie because you just had really good sex helps you fall asleep. Everyone takes friggin sleeping pills. Who does not have a sleep problem? Raise your hand. Nobody, right? You probably do. You don't have to talk about it.

I take pills.

Right, exactly. So if you have sex, it helps you fall asleep. So you're probably thinking it's like your computer screen or there's something else, collective stress in the universe, why people can't sleep. But you have sex, don't you fall asleep more readily?

Yeah, and you don't like it. Oh, not that— that sounds wrong. That sounded wrong.

Like what?

But you don't like it when guys have some fall asleep right afterwards because you want cuddle time.

I just need about 10 minutes of cuddle time.

If you fall asleep. You cuddle while falling asleep.

Yes, absolutely. I don't wanna stay up and talk. I just wanna cuddle for 8 to 10 minutes. Um, sex gives us something to talk about with our friends, especially women. Like, what would you do in your free time? I think like, you know, if we're not thinking about like what like girls are thinking, like Zac Efron looks like naked. Not that I do that, but my friends and I talk about sex and relationships and we talk about like, what would you do? How do you orgasm?

What's the first question you ask when you find out like a good friend of yours is hooking up with a new dude? You kind of like know who of the guy, right? and you know that they had sex last night, what's the first question you ask?

Okay, this is how it goes down. This just happened to me yesterday. I'm like, okay, so how's the sex? She's like, it's really good. I'm like, do you have an orgasm? She's like, well, yeah, I actually always orgasm. I orgasm really easily. I'm like, oh, okay, you bitch, that's cool. And then she said that he was very generous, which means that he performed oral sex on her and she really liked it. And she said that she liked his penis. I think his penis, she said that. And she said it was really hot. And he was really sweet and she liked him and it was good sex.

So penis was third. It took you 3 things to get to the penis.

You know what, only if there's a penis problem, I would say, or like a remarkable penis does it come up. It depends which friend I'm talking to.

What is remarkable?

You know, like, oh my God, it was the biggest penis. Black? It was black, it was the biggest penis I've ever seen, or it was a curved-shaped weird penis, or he wasn't circumcised, not that that's a big deal, or he didn't have condom use, I don't know.

If it wasn't run-of-the-mill, right, right.

Yeah, something wrong. It had strange rash all over it, no, it's weird. Smelled like cheese. Right, it smelled like cheese, that was weird. Okay, so the penis, no, didn't. But that's what I ask them, or I mean, it's my best, or like, how's the peen? Yeah, no, that's usually what I ask. Like, was it good? Was it whatever? But a lot of times the first time you have sex with someone is not always the best. It can only get better. Um, also, uh, sex is usually free. That's one of the things I'm grateful for, unless you pay for it online. Usually, but usually you probably shouldn't pay for it anywhere. Okay, so I wanted to talk about, um, which I am already, how to appreciate your partner.

We're not gonna talk about the water.

Okay, back up. So I, when I get to emails, um, I had a listener, so I get, you know, you all email me, which I love, feedback@sexwithemily.com. You can send all your relationship and sex questions and I try to answer them on my show. If it's, you know, a lot of times your questions might have been answered before, you could definitely Google that on my site. But the point is, and sometimes people just want to tell me what they like about the show or what they don't like or whatever. I'm open. So I got an email from a listener today and she said, I will skip down to the email portion of the show. She said to me, um, hi, I love, love, love you and your podcast, but I can't stand when you take a drink of water on the show. It drives me effing crazy. Just had to say, Mackenzie.

Thanks, Mackenzie.

So I realized that I, I get really, first of all, I'm a thirsty person. I don't know what it, I talk a lot. And so there is something called a cough button in radio, and whenever I have a guest come in, I'm like, there's the cough button. However, and I used, I use it during Loveline, I use it all the time, but for some reason in this chair at the Loveline studio that I'm in, I didn't know that the cough button was right in front of me and not right next to me on the table where it usually is. So I came in tonight and I said, Anderson, I got an email, she's pissed that I didn't, and I know it's annoying because I do it, and normally I'm trained, where's the goddamn cough button? And then I looked and it was right in front of me.

I love how she started off with the "I love, love, love" though.

She lets— yeah, she's like, "But I see, and I love, love, love that." I love it.

And then you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop, which is the "but," which you know is inevitably going to be there. And then there— did she put a comma before the "but" at least?

No.

Okay, then she's— yeah, let's not. Drink right into that microphone for her. Here you go, Mackenzie.

I just did it for you, Mackenzie. I'm gonna start using the comma.

And then now, just to let the listeners know, The cough button, all it does is just kill her mic. And unplugging the mic would do the exact same thing, as well as just turning off the mic, which is the exact same thing, which is right in front of her.

The cough is like—

But you can do it with just turning off the microphone too.

Dude, whatever. So I pre— no, what I wanna say is, I love McKenzie. Here's the thing, I— if you like my show but there's one thing that drives you crazy, you're like, okay, I hate when you say you're gonna cover something that you don't, or you ramble, or you cut off your guests. These are things that people have complained about. You talk too fast, you cut off your guests, you— I don't care. Most, I'd say 99.9%, things are positive. However, I might not agree with you. I'm open to feedback. So I don't care. I'm confident enough. I know people. So if there is something that you think could help improve the show, might not agree, careful, or that you're like, God, I can't listen anymore with the blah, do whatever. It might be good. I might take an advisement or I might tell you to fuck off. Just kidding. I would never do that. I'm too nice.

You are. You'll, you'll have one of your interns do it for you.

Yeah, they'll do it. They're actually, I hopefully, I'm gonna train them to be the mean, mean bad cops. Yeah, clumping eyes. Here we go. So appreciate— yeah, where the hell was I?

Appreciating your partner.

Okay, so like, I don't remember, you made me talk about water. Appreciation is something that a lot of people, like I said, couples who are together for— they're like, they don't feel appreciated. And I think in very different ways, men and women don't feel appreciated. So do you ever feel like in your either your current relationship or past that you feel That's a familiar feeling that you can identify with, that you just don't feel appreciated.

Yeah, for sure. But at the same time, I've been like extra appreciated by people who were not right for me, and they were like so goddamn codependent that that's one of the reasons why the relationship was bad to begin with, because they were always doting on me and filling their entire life with like what I was and what I was about and didn't have any— never mind, I'm going down a different road.

Yeah, but that's unhealthy as well.

Right, right, right. So it can be good and bad, right?

So you need to help you, like everything in life.

Yeah, I've been, I've been, you know, underappreciated and I feel like in my, in my current relationship and we talk about it.

So can you give me an example?

Or like, just like you can make up, like, like I'm always getting the food and making sure that, you know, like I'll, we'll be at home and I, she's hungry and I'll go out and get food just for her. And like, that's never happened for me. Something like that.

I see. Okay. So that makes total sense. And does she say— does she— but when you come back with the food, she says thank you?

Oh yeah, yeah, she always says thank you. And usually I get to watch whatever I want after that for at least a half hour while she's eating, that kind of thing.

Got it.

So I'm making it sound like our entire relationship exists on the couch. We do tons of stuff.

I do, I'm just— they have sex on the couch. But, but understand, but what I'm curious is, so that's, that's, that's— see, that is the kind of thing that could fester for so long. It does.

And I always— and I'm like a chick too, it always comes up when we get in fights, right?

So did you ever— and then if you— so if you said to her, babe, hey, it'd be so cool if one time you could just offer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then did she get upset about that? Was she like, I thought you liked to do that?

Usually when we get in fights, I'm like, I'm not doing it anymore. And then like, I'll go maybe 2 days without doing it. And then— but I love to do it. You know what I mean?

You love to do it. That's what I'm asking you. So in her mind, she'd be like, Anderson loves getting out of the house. So it's just that you want her to offer, or do you— would you like her to do something else for you? I'm just—

I think I just pick fights. I pick fights sometimes. Yeah.

But you don't really— you wouldn't like it if she got up and went to Subway for you?

I'd feel guilty the whole time she was gone. Okay, so this is like a weird genetic thing.

Okay, so, so, but how would you— okay, I get it, appreciate it.

But we got, we got off the topic of appreciation.

I'm sorry, but you're saying you'd like to feel appreciated. What if she— but she does say thank you, so you've got a whole nother issue going on. I know, but I get what you're saying. But do you know how you need to be?

Yeah, she's very appreciative. I, I feel guilty even bringing any of this up.

Do you? No, no, I get it. That's a whole nother issue. Do you feel like you appreciate her?

Yeah, I'm kind of forced to because every time anyone meets her, like my friends meet her, they're always like, I don't understand why she's with you. Why is she— she's so much better than you. That's what I always hear. So yes, I definitely appreciate it.

Right, okay. But that makes her feel good because other people kind of— that's what I was going to say is that a lot of people like to be validated. Compliments make people feel really good. And women and men, I think some guys either they don't— like, do you like getting compliments, Anderson, or do they—

It makes me uncomfortable.

But okay, here's my question for you. I know that compliments make men uncomfortable, but does it make you uncomfortable but you'd rather get them than not get them?

I'd rather hear about them secondhand. It's like, hey, this person said this about you. Oh, cool.

Okay, so I think that's true.

Or maybe someone looks me in the eye and says, I really appreciate you for— it makes me— I get very uncomfortable.

Okay, so it's intimacy issue. So, okay, so here's my question.

You should see her, she's like sizing me up. She thinks she's like making—

but no, I think a lot of men feel uncomfortable by it too, and it's probably because of intimacy, because I know that women We love to be complimented, told that we look hot or pretty, or we do something special.

But at the same time, careful, because just last week you were saying never use that as a pickup line because they always hear it.

Oh, I'm talking about in a relationship, right?

Right.

Don't use it as a pickup line unless you're really hot. No, I'm kidding. Don't use a pickup line. But with your partner, I think that women a lot are in relationships where they don't feel sexy or beautiful to their partner, and their partner's thinking, oh, she knows I think she's hot. But if you're thinking it, just say it, or I like your haircut, or something. Because women, we do a lot crap that you guys don't have to do to, to look beautiful as we do.

Yeah.

So if you recognize it or appreciate it, we appreciate it too. So, but for men, compliments, I hear what you're saying. So what I'm saying is like, what if you guys were out to dinner, right? And like the four of you with like another couple, and how about this compliment? Like there's a, she says, even your wife, or says at the table, oh my God, Anderson got like the best, did the cool, his film just got it, which it did, just got into two film festivals. How cool is that? Like, would that make you feel better? Because I think men kind of like public appreciation. Like, do you think that that would make you feel better? You— would that make you uncomfortable, or would that make you feel good?

Initially make me uncomfortable. I went to actually logical questions and I could actually speak to it.

There's other people around to witness what you had just done as well. I feel that men like to have that affirmation kind of more in public sometimes as a, um, you know, just more of a— like, it's like that validation. It makes them feel like a man. I don't know if you're wrong, but I think I'm not wrong because I'm never wrong. Okay, so— no, I'm wrong a lot. So here's the thing. So no matter what you do, big or small, reinforce the positive acts and you'll get more in return. So just say thank you. You know, if they walk the dog for you or they took you on a vacation away, you know, there's a lot of couples who like, they never appreciate me, I don't feel thankful. Also, you have to listen, okay? Listening is a great tool for couples, and I think that you might think that you're listening, But this goes for men and for women. And there's something to be said about having your partner's undivided attention. Like when they put down their cell phone, they put down their iPad and they're like, hey babe, what, what do you need from me right now? I'm here to listen. Even if it's 10 minutes in the morning or you need 10 minutes after work and you just want them to listen and you both need to vent and you need to connect and it can be intimate, but your partner always seems distracted and they're not really listening to you. It makes us, you know, feel unvalued and unimportant and not special. So If you do pay attention to them, they feel the opposite. They feel valued, they're important, prioritized, and special. So stop what you're doing and try to connect with your partner, like even 5, 10 minutes a day. Hmm.

She's, she's using her cough button, everyone, to drink her water.

I may get trained. Um, so for men, here's the thing for men. So, you know, it's typical that when a woman opens up to a man about things like maybe I came in from work. And had a bad day. Probably had this happen with your partner, and she's like, honey, this and that. And maybe it's even something you've heard before. My boss was such a jerk, and then this thing happened, and I might not get this raise, but I tried. And this other bitch next to me wants— you know what I mean? Women go on sometimes about things.

Oh yeah, I've dated those, right? Hard. Or don't—

just when a woman has a thing, and men naturally, or preternaturally, are fixers. You just want to fix it.

Like, yeah, and you guys don't want to hear a solution, you just want to unload.

Exactly. So they want to help you in distress. Like, that's part of being a man. It's your biology. It's how you're wired. But a lot of times we don't want that solution. We just want to process. So you want— that's how we want you to listen. Just process with us. Babe, I'm so sorry. That sounds really hard. That sounds like it sucks. Even if you're like, I've heard this 8 times. And then in another moment in time, we'll be like, you know what you should do about that thing? But in that moment, not in the moment, it's really frustrating as a guy.

I can tell you, it's like watching you guys do a crossword puzzle and you're like, it's 7 across, and it's like a President's name and a word for a penis, and I don't know what it is. And like, we know it's Johnson, but we're not allowed to tell you in that moment. We have to just sit there and bite our tongue.

It's tough. I know, but, but you know, it makes it, it makes it, it makes it all flow.

It makes it all— it's, it's one of the little quirks.

No, what I'm saying, but this is what— and also I'm talking about like biology, or like men, you want to fit. Like, it's just our women, we are naturally born conversationalists. We know, but even with our girlfriends, we communicate, we listen, we're not trying to It's how we're wired. So that's what—

and then you come to the same— we all come to the same conclusion, just at different times.

Exactly. Yeah. So for men— for women, uh, when you have a problem and he offers advice, like, even if though we told him not to, don't immediately object to him. You can listen to it, and you can also thank him for it. Make him feel like, you know, I so appreciate your opinion about that, um, because he just wants to fix it up. But then say, but I got to tell you a little bit more, and I would just appreciate if you would listen. And I think everyone can— who loves you can take that Advice? Doesn't have to blow up into a whole thing. And the more you confront these things in the moment as they're happening, the more likely they're not gonna fester and get angry like Anderson does. Like, why don't you get my goddamn Pizza Hut this time, bitch?

I would never get Pizza Hut, but she loves it and I get it for her all the time.

Okay, fine.

You know what a really good compliment is?

What?

You look at your partner and you go, you know what? You're so lucky I don't care about looks. You're such a cool person, looks don't even matter to me at all.

Oh my God, that's the worst. How about like—

I've said that a few times, but I was joking. I think they knew that I was joking.

You think? If they never called you again?

You're lucky. I don't care about looks.

Throw in her looks if you can. Like, I've had guys who are like, you— I have the best— this guy was dating recently, like, you are the coolest chick. Like, I have the best time with you that I've ever hung out with. You're so cool. But like, that felt good, but I'm like, but do you want to bang me? You know?

Oh, this is before the bang?

No, it was after the bang.

Well, then yes, he wants to bang you.

I know, but he was talking about how fun I was. Cool.

Oh, really? You take it that way? Because that's like the greatest compliment you can get.

No, it was awesome. Like, he was like, I actually never want to hang out with anyone, but I want to hang out with you. No, it was really nice.

That's what he's saying is like, uh, you're like, even if you were a dude, even if I didn't want to bang you, I'd want to hang out with you, which is a huge compliment, right?

That's true. Okay, so I guess that was a compliment.

I felt really good about it. Don't guess.

No, it was. It felt really good. Okay, so for— here's the thing. So also, here's another thing. This is huge. Greet your partner with enthusiasm. So when they walk through the door Instead of simply glancing up like, oh, it's you again, I see you every night, make it a deal. Like, hug them, kiss them, say hello, how was your day? And I know you think sometimes that could be impossible, you're in the middle of something, but you know, you're happy that they're there. And even if you saw them 8 hours ago and talked to them the whole ride home, you know, it means something to touch.

It's that rhythm, it's that rut.

You gotta be careful. Do you do that? Do you kiss each other like hello?

Yeah, yeah, I get up, help open the door, that kind of thing.

Let me open the door.

You know, she's coming in the door. Well, no, there's like— she comes in through the backyard, so I see her coming across the grass and I get up and open the door. Yeah, I even pause the hockey game a lot of the time.

You pause the hockey?

I pause it.

Yeah, that's really sweet.

Turn it down.

Stop and ask her about her day, or do you go right back to the hockey?

Like, hey, how are you? And then I tell her the score and I tell her to zip it up, it's time for a little hockey.

Women— guys, a lot of guys just want men to stop talking. Women want Guys want women to stop talking.

She's quiet. No, I'm lucky.

That's good.

But yeah, a lot of time it's just unload time when people get home from work and they just want to like go right into all that. Yes. And, uh, I know it's tough, but you got to just sit there and listen patiently.

That's how women sometimes want, and men, but, and I do with guys who are just like me, but most of them aren't, but they want to talk about everything and process, you know. Okay. So, and okay, we come back, I'm going to give you some more tips about that, about how you can make sure that you're doing the right things so you continue to have amazing sex this year. It's really, really easy stuff to do. Okay. But first, thank you to my sponsor, Good Vibrations. This is amazing. So, you know, I always talk about that. Oh, one of the things I'm thankful for is all the amazing toys I get and products, and it's from Good Vibes. Not just me, it's my office. We all get them and my friends, um, like Anderson. So here's the thing, and they're all— they only sell the best toys on the market. So you don't wanna go to like schlocky other websites online. You just wanna go to goodvibes.com.

Decent Vibes sucks.

What?

Decent Vibes.

What's that?

That's like the bad company. Good Vibes is where you go.

Exactly. Decent Vibes, mediocre vibes, you don't want to go there. And also for Black Friday, there's a special holiday offer. 11:27 to 11:30, there'll be a 25% off site-wide sale, meaning a great opportunity to pick up your favorite Luxury Vibes. These are all the ones I talk about by Lelo. Um, the, the wand or the Vibratex, the Girls, is a great gift There's so many. Oh, these are all on my website, the ones that I love. So, uh, something you'll definitely be thankful for. So check out more of my blog, look for upcoming newsletter and more Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals because I guarantee you your partner wants something sexy that looks like a phallic object in her goddamn stocking or looks like a skipping stone or just a bullet and he wants some lube and a flashlight. Okay, thanks everyone. So check it out. Yeah, back to the show. What? Anderson, what do you want? Do you want— what do you want from me for Christmas in your stocking?

Bottle of booze.

I always get you booze.

I know you do. Is that the booze you like? Thank you. I like Crown. I like Jack Daniel's. I like all whiskeys.

Crown's better, right?

I'm Canadian.

I went to the— 'cause I went to BevMo and the guy thought I was like, had some learning disabilities or something because my knowledge of alcohol and like how old I am. Like I think he thought, like I don't know the difference between scotch and whiskey.

Whiskey is better. I don't. I don't. And I'm probably an alcoholic in most doctors' books and I don't know the difference. So don't feel bad. I felt really bad.

Ignorant about it. And I was like, well, I know wines.

You're such a sweet person. She just brought me in a big bottle of booze. Thank you for everything you do for me. That's very sweet. What do you want from me? What do I get you?

Oh, nothing. I've got nothing.

A Bible? You need a Bible there in your life?

I probably should. I think I should. No. Yes.

You want a Koran?

I probably need some more religion. I've— or some— no, I'm pretty spiritual. Spiritual. I hate anyone who says they're spiritual is not spiritual.

Anyone who says they're sexual is not sexual too. I'm a very sexual person. That's what I'm saying. You're a very beautiful person.

What do you think about how funny you are?

I am so funny. Everyone laughs behind my back all the time.

No, but that's so you can't talk about it, 'cause then you're like, no, it's okay. So greet them with enthusiasm, which is important. And think about your partner every once in a while, 'cause we all have needs, needs to be met, which is why it's so important to be selfless and cater to your partner every once in a while. So do the things they love to do, make their favorite meal, put on a movie they like even though you really wanted to watch the hockey game. You know, like, if you really hate it, you hate it, whatever. You can go and turn on your iPhone and start texting your friends. Um, little tiny sacrifices will make them feel like a king or queen for the day. So it's worth it to think, like, when was the last time I made a little compromise that really isn't a big deal to me that would make my partner happy? To give an example, and also this extends to, like, even people you're dating or in work or life, Any little sacrifices you do that you think makes your partner happy?

Yeah, it's a constant. I mean, you— I, I'm one of those ones that I get happy by making other people happy, so it kind of comes naturally.

But right, because you're also—

I got to get like creative because I have one of these strange people that doesn't— I'm married to a person who doesn't like to go out to eat.

Oh, that's why you're always getting up.

Doesn't like to go see movies much either. So it's kind of like, what else do you do?

Like in the movie business?

That's all I want to do is like see movies and go out to eat, whatever else.

What does she like to do? She doesn't like to leave the house.

She likes to see— so it's forced me to like find— now I'm lucky enough that we live like in the metropolis that is Los Angeles, so there's always something. We were both born and raised here, she and I, but there's still so many things we haven't seen. But I'm sure that most people listening to this, there's cool little things in your little town that you've never done.

Exactly.

We went on a tourist bus a couple weeks ago.

That's so fun.

And we got LA, we got a tour of Hollywood. And we lived here, you know what I mean? But it was still cool.

That's really— was that her idea? So she'd rather do things like that maybe, and you'd rather go to movies?

I'm much more traditional. I'd just like to try different little hole-in-the-walls and this and that, like food and drink. But she doesn't drink, she doesn't like food much. Yeah, she eats fast food. So it's a challenge, but you find things.

But then every once in a while you get the fast food, every once in a while you think fun. Exactly. So it's not that— and you know this when you got together with this person, or sometimes it's just— it doesn't have to be deal breakers that you can compromise Also participate in their life, like outside your, like something like outside of the shared interests. So if it's like guys are so into fantasy football, which I find so boring, but whatever, I can try to pretend that I care. Or you can sit with them, you know, favorite video games, exotic cars, whatever. Ask your partner about it. Like, now would you appreciate it? Do you ever feel, okay, you don't even talk about your wife, but like in past relationships that you like when the person you're dating shows interest in what you do? Yeah.

At least they have to have interest in something, right?

But what about, what if they never asked you though? Hey Anderson, tell me about your podcast or listen to But how would you feel?

That's a little scary.

Like, so he's got After Disaster, which is a great— oh, also, sorry, I always— Film Vault, amazing podcast. They both are about film. And but what if you date— we're dating because this goes for dating. I'm just curious. And you were dating and she never said to you, so like, how'd you get into, you know, talking about film? Why do you love film?

It might be a little scary.

Would you be like, she doesn't care about me?

Yeah, like I'm just kind of a placeholder. Like she just needs like a guy in that position in her life and it doesn't really matter who it is. She's not making an effort to know more about you because she obviously doesn't care, right?

Well, or she just is self-involved and doesn't—

Which translates to, I don't care about you because I only care about me.

Right, exactly. So I would say that typically though, even if you're in it, to continue to ask about those things too, right? But no, you're right, there are people who, like, I know a lot of guys— well, it goes both ways.

But yeah, you know what, people are weird though too. Like, I'll talk to people who have been working— like, just recently I went to this restaurant, it was really cool, it was really old, had been there forever. I asked the guy, uh, how long he'd worked there. He said like 5 years. I was asking some basic questions about the building. No idea. So sometimes people just don't think to ask questions about things that are around them, including their others.

But he probably appreciated the interest.

But he was just like, he was—

Well, that wasn't a good example.

That was a terrible example.

But I'm saying, I mean, no, but I think that everyone likes the people who, I mean, I've always been someone who like grills people. I probably go overboard. I ask a lot of questions.

All right, here's a better example. I was dating a girl for probably 6 months and I have a film strip tattooed on my arm, right? It goes around and it looks a little bit like a snake. Some people think that. —this girl, 5 months into the relationship, somebody talked about the film strip on my arm. We were out in public. And she goes, oh, that's what that is? I always thought it was just like bracelets or something. I'm like, huh.

She never asked about your tattoo?

She never asked about it. She just made an assumption, and it was the wrong assumption.

And then did you dump her or no?

Uh, we banged for another couple weeks and then broke up. Right, but it's like taking interest.

Like, you put this thing on your body that you're gonna have for the rest of your life. You just think that someone who wants to get to know you—

Like, I knew her tramp stamp was a butterfly. I could tell.

That should be your first sign that she had a tramp stamp. But you know, did you ever talk about her stamp? Like, when did you— did you ever say—

I asked her why many times. Really?

Right. But she never asked about yours. Just interesting. So you just want to listen. You just want to like give and take. And also, like, you know, for women, like, if there's something that your partner— for guys— that your partner is interested in that could seem trivial to you, just make the effort and ask anyway. We all want to feel like the person that we're with cares about all aspects of our life and that you are listening. Also, praise their accomplishments. I think that everyone has a deep-rooted need to be praised and feel like their efforts are recognized. And I think that a lot of people are withholding from that. They might think like, oh, if I praise my partner too much, she's gonna get a bit— this is like early on. This is what Menace always says, but it's— he's just young. But no, I think he thinks so. If you tell a woman too much that she's whatever, she's gonna think she— but it's like, no, like, she's gonna think what?

Like, she likes you.

She's— this is like early on when you're dating, but I guess, but that if you tell a woman that you're really into her, that you think she's really beautiful, she's gonna know that you're really into her and then take advantage of you.

That happened to Menace. That must have happened to him once or twice. He's like a douchebag.

It's one of those— what? No, I'm not. He's not. I love Menace. What I'm saying is there is a school of men, a school of thought, that think that you have to be kind of douchey to be kind of aloof.

You have to be able to hold your own for sure. I mean, you can't just be like a pushover and constantly like fawning over someone, right?

But I think that probably men are his. I think that this, people do think this way, but all I'm saying is that we all have a deep-rooted need to feel like our efforts are recognized. We do, no matter what we do, work, life, we're proud of it, right? And we wanna feel like our partner sees our skills and talents as just, and is proud of us. And, and I really think that that's true. Like if your partner, even if they don't have a traditional job or, you know, your husband is a stay-at-home dad and he just built a new deck and you think it's awesome. Like you can say like, how did you do that? Or if she's home during the day with the kids, I don't know what, not to be stereotypical, but You think like people stop talking once they're together and it's just to show interest in what your partner likes makes them feel good as well. So, right? Don't you think?

Yeah, even if it's not something directly that relates to you. Right, exactly. Them as an individual.

And I think for men, like did he just do, like if you talk about like did he do something great at work recently or did he put up a new bookshelf? Like don't just like thank him. I think that men wanna be praised. Bookshelf. And then they wanna be bragged about to friends and family. So if you're Thanksgiving dinner and your guy's probably not gonna speak up and talk about the fact that he just got a raise or he won an award at work, it would probably make him feel good in front of his family and women too, some, if you brought it up. I think men like that more.

Do you agree or disagree? I do, but I'm stuck on bookshelf.

It makes them feel validated or preserves their ego.

Hey, I'm setting the bar low. You know how we call the glove box the glove box? Yeah. Because people used to put their gloves in there back in the day. That's what bookshelves are gonna be, 'cause there's not gonna be any books in the near future. That's true. And they're still gonna be called bookshelves. So like our kids' kids are gonna be like, why do they call 'em bookshelves? What's a book? Exactly. That's gonna be awesome.

Well, maybe they'll just change it to like store your— store all your trash.

No, they'll still call it like they do a glove box. I love that. I never thought of that before. I never thought of that either. You're just genius.

Off-roading is totally fine, 'cause I do that all the time.

And you know what? If this isn't coming naturally to you either, maybe you should take a look at your relationship. Maybe you just don't care about the person sitting across from you much. Exactly. If you don't even ask what their tattoo means.

It's so true. This is all like really, and this is good for if you're just starting a relationship too. So the next time you go out, You know, ask. I think a lot of people, I think they might not do it for several reasons. I think on the first date, a lot of people talk about themselves a lot because they're nervous and they don't, you know, I've gone out with guys.

People love to talk about themselves because they're an expert.

So if you're a guy or a woman, whatever, who's anxious or anxious, like uncomfortable dating and you don't ask questions, where'd you from? Do you have brothers and sisters? I mean, you can go on and on and on. I do this all the time. It's not even because I'm nervous. I'm just actually really curious. So, um, and you know, Yeah, ask questions. It's good. Makes them feel validated.

And you get to know the other person sitting across from you too. If they just take the ball and run with it and they're just— it's an hour later, they're still talking about themselves. Hey, look at that person. That's what they are.

Exactly. And then you know all the answers. Like, don't, don't be coy. And don't— but you must really be interested if you're sitting there. Like, and also you never know what you're gonna learn from someone either. So look at this opportunity to learn. If you're like, I'm not interested in this person, just make sure there's a natural balance, like a give and take when you're on dates and stuff like that. And also notice the Small things. So like making a cup of coffee or remembering to TiVo your favorite show. TiVo. Isn't it funny people say TiVo?

I still have a TiVo, so it makes sense.

You do? Yeah. Do you use it?

Yeah, they have an option with DirecTV. You could get— you can still get brand new TiVos. I love them.

I love TiVo more than DirecTV. I think it's filled up because I never watch TV. But why do you even have one?

Just get rid of it. Put a dildo display case where your TV is.

I already have dildos like all over into other places that they shouldn't. Wait, I was gonna say something else about my oven, but I don't have dildos in my oven because I don't have an oven. But last—

that's where I keep your sex book.

Um, in your oven? Yes. Cool. So wait, I was gonna say that, um, T, but wait, back up. So can my DirecTV— can I get more memory on it?

I don't know, this feels like we're way off-road now.

More than the bookshelf. Okay, so also here's another thing, guys.

Yes, there's many, like the Genie. You should maybe look into the Genie.

Just retext me that. Okay, if you— so again, you guys, holidays are coming up, Thanksgiving, be thankful. If you want to appreciate your partner, you know, just think about some of these things. Like, I haven't told her lately that I appreciate this or that. Or, you know, ask them some questions about things that you— because a lot of times I think, again, making assumptions. We make assumptions that they don't want to talk about it, so we don't ask. Or we make assumptions that it's something that's too intimate. But I don't know, they'll let you know if it's too intimate. But I think a lot of times it can be seen as not caring. It's good to just ask questions, um, and do that. And also, if you wanna treat that person special, that special person in your life, to a luxury sex toy they've been coveting, again, I'm not— Good Vibes has never done this before, 25% off their entire site, uh, this Cyber whatever, whatever Monday, the Friday, the Monday. And then Emily and Tony, 30% off everything, emilyandtony.com. So do that special thing too. So how are we doing, Anderson?

We are doing fine. And then there's more stuff that you could do now to appreciate your partner? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I like— and it works for both ways too. You can figure out, uh, by, you know, using some of the tips you just gave, if the person sitting across from you is wrong as well. It's not just about, you know, making your relationship better, it's maybe figuring out if the relationship's right.

That's true too. God, we learned a lot tonight. Okay, Anderson, thank you so much, and I'm thankful for you, and Happy Thanksgiving. And thank you everyone. Remember, go to my website, check it out, and look at all the great deals that I have and all the fun things happening. Sign up for the mailing list. I love you all. Grateful for you. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com. Okay, so like I said, holidays, good time to do something nice for someone you love. Why not get them a flashlight? This would be a man with a penis, but it's the number one sex toy for men because it is something that even if you're in a relationship or not, guys have their hands. That's all they got. They got their hands. We've got toys, we've got other things we can use. They've got their hands, so give them a Fleshlight. It actually simulates the sensations of sex. It's a male masturbation sleeve that looks like a flashlight, so it's hidden, and you put a little lube in it, it feels amazing. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And a lot of guys, you know, it's not like you're never gonna want to have sex again, but some people think it actually feels better than sex. Um, you have mind-blowing orgasms, it fulfills your core needs, and you can use it with your partner too sometimes, or if she doesn't want to have sex, your partner doesn't, Use it whenever. Take it on a trip. Travel well for the holidays. Oh, and right now, so exciting for all my listeners, this is amazing. They are giving away a Flesh Lube award-winning lube. It is the Fleshlight Flesh Lube. So go to fleshlight.com, use coupon code Emily, and get the free Flesh Lube. Flesh Lube. Flesh Lube. Flesh Lube. I'm thankful for Flesh Lube. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving.

Hello. Hi, it's me, Ross Matthews, America's gay. Listen, I get it. Life is hard. Okay, we all struggle. Boyfriend problems. Boyfriend problems, girlfriend problems, job problems, life problems, which TV show to watch. Honey, I get it, you need help. That's why I'm here. I'm the gay best friend you wish you had and honey, you know you need. It's Straight Talk with me, Ross Matthews. This is tough love, honey, but it's worth it, like plucking or waxing. Get your weekly gay pep talk right here on podcastone.com.