SWE: Three's Company

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they called them in a bygone day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? 'Cause my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Oh my. Do women know about shrinkage?

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my God, I feel so good.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexemily.com, where you will improve your sex life for sure if you go to our website, because we've got all the sex tips and all the sex information that you need right there in one neat tidy package.

And you forgot the new penis growing feature that's on sexemily.com. It works automatically. It's so weird. You just visit the website site and your penis gets bigger.

It's weird.

Amazing.

I know, I can't, I can't believe it.

We spent millions of dollars and put ourselves in the poorhouse to make that happen for you, but we care about our listeners.

We do care, and we know the penis size is a really big concern for people, so we just, we just want you to be happy. And, um, yeah, I hope you enjoy that feature.

Yeah, just don't go to the website too many times, right? Because you don't want to walk around with a huge—

no, no, no, because even that might seem like it'd be something really good, and it can— like, every— everything— with everything good comes the bad, you know?

You don't know.

Too much excess. Too much excess. Penis is not good for anyone. So, um, yeah, today's show, we are talking about, uh, three's company, threesome etiquette for before, during, and after a threesome. Because, you know, we've done polls on our website, all that stuff, and people are like, threesome. And, and, oh, this is actually apropos to this, is that we did a study, a poll the other day on what you want to try in the new year sexually, and threesome won out. So I figured We'll give you some tips in case you should be so lucky. We'll give you some tips on how to have that threesome that you so desire.

Yes.

Men, this might help you too.

I'm freaking out.

Why are you freaking out?

No, I'm just checking all the levels and everything.

Oh, okay. But you're not like really freaking out?

No, that's why I'm looking at my phone.

But that'd be kind of fun if you happen to be freaking out during the show about something emotional.

Emotional?

I don't know, if you were having like a real freak out, like, oh my God, I just got—

Oh my God, I'm—

You never have relationship drama. I really think it would help the show. Can you get into a fucked up relationship that we could analyze and break down?

No, I just don't get in those, man.

Bummer. And I don't either, really, anymore. I try not to.

It sucks. That's why we have to put the interns on more often.

I know.

Because their sex lives are just out of control.

Lauren's here. Does she have anything new to add today? No, she was on the other day.

Did you make out with your coworker? No, she did.

She did. There was more.

Damn it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. With the same guy, or is it a different one? Same one. I knew it.

Oh yeah, I knew it.

She's like, um, see, that's why you can't trust anything. We had the other intern on the other day. What's her name?

Tatiana.

We had her on the other day and she's like, oh, I'm not really into this guy. Guaranteed next time she comes in the studio, oh, I had sex with them. That's what you guys always do. Oh, I'm not into them at all, blah blah. Oh By the way, I fell down on his penis.

Oops, I slipped and fell on his penis once again.

Yeah, you can't trust what a woman says, Emily.

Yes, you can. We just sometimes we don't think we're into him and then we see him and then we— oh, oh, maybe I will.

How was the situation this time? Did you— were you consuming?

Should we get our mic?

Yeah, let's get her on.

Do you want to or no? What?

Oh, you did?

She did tell it all, but not about the—

no, but Okay, it doesn't matter.

She's just whatever. She's moving out, you know, fine. She likes them, it's cool. Um, okay, we don't have to get into that now, but we'll maybe— we'll make her— we'll give her more prep.

All right, how about we do this? Because people feel more comfortable, and I definitely feel more comfortable because this is how I shut down every time you ask me, oh, do I have sex? I'm like, yeah, I had sex. And you go, with who? And then automatically shut down. You're right, automatically shut down because I don't—

I should ask, how was it? Yeah, I should ask, what positions did you use?

Yeah, so I think now on New Rule where we're gonna be more open is We don't go, oh, who was it? Just say, you know, just describe like your encounters.

That's a good— I think that's great because who cares who it is? We don't want that. We don't exploit that person. Yeah, we don't want to post them on Facebook or anything. No, I mean, maybe we will just for fun.

I think people— I think people on the show would be more open too if we just talk, talk that way, right?

You know, this guy— okay, so this guy I've been dating, uh-huh, speaking of sexual encounters, we, we have amazing kissing chemistry and I can't explain it. I just want to say—

oh, you're trying to make it up because I, I've said—

no, I'm sharing it with that like our kisses are like through the roof, like time evaporates and we're just like kissing and we flow. It's like a dance. It's just amazing.

And Disney characters start coming out the forest, like bunnies and stuff like that?

Yes, exactly. Snow White, Seven Dwarves, all that stuff. No, but it's just good. It's like one of our good things is the kissing. Makes me really happy.

After how many glasses of Pinot Noir?

No, we're sober January. We're not even— Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sober January. Shit, when's it over? What's the date?

I don't know.

Oh my God, I've still got like 13 more days left or something. No, I can't handle it. Yeah, I can't— 18 more days. Yeah, it's been interesting. Although I did have a glass of wine. I'm gonna admit it. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a big drinker, but I did. I was at dinner last night with my friend. My girlfriend took me out to dinner to a great new restaurant in the city. We had some sea bass. What am I not gonna have a glass of wine? I'm not gonna be like crazy about this, crazy fanatical sober. I mean, sober— I'm sober-ish. Let's just say that.

And, um, I was just thinking, when it comes to wine, fellas, you know you're gonna get laid if her teeth are purple.

Like, you just know.

You just know it's gonna go down.

That's so true. That's why women start drinking white wine, because the red wine is a giveaway. But I hate when people have that red— guys, when you go up to a guy at a party and he's all red, you should carry your own mouthwash or something.

Oh, the teeth?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drink white wine.

Well, people don't realize it by that point that their teeth—

they don't care.

They're like, hey, how you doing?

I like the white wine, so I'm fair.

I'm with that. The white wine with cubed ice in it, right?

No, I don't do that. Why do women do that?

I don't know.

It's a chick thing, right? Guys don't walk around with ice. I mean, it's bad enough if they're drinking white wine, but then if they're drinking white wine with cubed ice in it.

No, I heard it's not classy if you have—

It's not classy, but it's— women do it all the time. Like, you had no time to— you really need a drink and your white wine is not in the refrigerator.

I like to have ice in my Zinfandel. Zinfandel is like the, the best wine out there, right?

I don't know. What's wrong with you? It's not good. Why? It's good. Zinfandel's good. White Zinfandel can be good. It's sort of the lowest echelon of wine.

See why I brought it up? Yeah, because it's not classy.

I like Sauvignon Blanc. Oh yeah, that's what I drink.

Zinfandel. I'm all about it. $2 Zinfandel.

Drink it up, everybody.

Whatever. That's how That's how you say it.

That's cool. Okay, so we've been talking a lot about Valentine's Day in the office. I know it's just a month away, not even a month away.

Yeah, we're talking about Valentine's Day with me.

Well, because I'm doing it now.

Wow.

So we're doing like a massive, we're doing like the coolest thing for Valentine's Day. So you gotta keep paying attention, but we're giving away some awesome gifts. We've got like this huge package we're giving away. Plus we're giving away just some copies of my book, which by the way, I just met with my publisher. My book is called Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. And I just got a copy of the book in Korean. It's like in 10 languages. Languages. It looks really cool. Same pictures, but then in Korean. It's bizarre. And I'm gonna write a new book, a relationship book, because, you know, I know stuff about relationships. Yeah, it was cool. I just met with them, just came back. But it's cool to see my book in Korean. I have no idea what it says, but, you know, hopefully they translated my words well.

That's cool. Where were you, uh, last year for Valentine's Day?

Who was I dating? Who was I boning?

I don't think you were. You—

I hope probably not. Um, But anyway, we're gonna be doing a, like, a social media thing with Facebook and Twitter, and people can win a bunch of stuff, and you're gonna help us with it, which I'll let you know about that. All right. But where was I last Valentine's Day? I don't think anywhere interesting. Where were you?

I was actually— the Grammys was on Valentine's Day.

Oh really? Last year? Fun.

So I was there. Yeah, it was cool.

Do you remember it?

Yeah, I remember it. I actually— it was really cool. There was this girl that I was trying to hang out with for a long time, but our schedules never matched, and then Uh, she just happened to be in LA at the same time that I was in LA.

And then did you hook up?

I can't remember that we hooked up.

No, no, I just wanted to hang out with her.

Yeah, yeah. And I had to leave actually. I left the Grammys early because I gotta catch— I had to catch a flight, so I left her there by herself.

Oh, I'm sure you'll hear—

enjoy.

I'm sure she was fine with it.

Yeah, but it was really cool because I go, what are you doing today? She's like, oh, nothing. I go, do you want to— you want to go with me to the Grammys? You just happen to be in LA? I'm in LA, let's go. And it was, it was a really good time.

We're gonna be doing though, for Valentine's Day, we're gonna be doing a lead, like the week leading up to Valentine's Day, like doing shows that kind of COVID all of the big questions people have, like the best gifts, the best dates, what you should, what you could do, what you could do if you're single on Valentine's Day. So we're gonna do a whole thing 'cause we're Sex with Emily.

Sweet.

We're all about Valentine's Day. And also I just wanna say that if you are starting to think about Valentine's Day, Adam and Eve has an awesome, I frigging love their new special they have right now going, which is if you put in coupon code Emily at checkout, You get 50% off an item, plus you get the Kim Kardashian sex DVD, and you get mystery gift, free shipping, and your item at 50% off.

Mystery gift?

It's a mystery gift. I don't know what it is, but go to adamandeve.com. It's a mystery.

Is it a lock of your hair?

My hair? No, it has nothing to do with me. I am not in charge of the mystery gift, but you should go check out Adam and Eve because we love them. And that's what I gotta say about that.

Cool. Any things going on in the news?

Yes, I'm about to get there. So, Amber Rose. She says, "I forgive Kanye West for banging Kim Kardashian." Mm-hmm. Did you hear about all this?

I have.

So she's totally forgiven Kim Kardashian for allegedly hooking up with Kanye West behind her back and says she feels bad for calling Kim a homewrecker. She claims Kanye and Kim had a secret affair while she was still dating the rapper a few years ago, but Kardashian denies it. And Amber says she feels bad that I called Kim a homewrecker because that was kind of mean, and I forgive Kanye too. It's not a big deal, you know. So they're cool with it. She's over it.

Yeah, I, I never knew too much about, uh, Amber Rose.

Me neither.

So yeah, I mean, she's been— she got famous from dating Kanye West, right? But you always see images of her because she's like this very voluptuous, right?

Voluptuous.

Really hard today.

Were you drinking before the No, no sleep today. Um, because you're having sex last night?

Yes.

In what position?

Butterfly. Um, no, she's just, you know, this really, you know, voluptuous.

Yeah, attractive. Does she— she's a model. Model.

Okay, so you see images of her all the time, you see her music videos, but I never heard her talk ever.

Okay.

And she's been in the spotlight for like a couple years now. I just saw her talk for the first time. There was some video of her on TMZ, and she seems really cool. Oh, okay.

She seems really like like down to earth. What is she? She's a model and anything else? I mean, is she like currently modeling?

And I saw her in a commercial. She's being a spokesperson for, um, Smirnoff and stuff like that.

Do you think that this whole like Kim Kardashian thing, just going off on Kim Kardashian, because we were talking this in my office, like, does she have a really bad public image now, you think, because of the— of what the divorce— or does it just raise her popularity?

I don't think it raises her popularity, but I don't think it tarnishes. I don't think it hurt too much.

I mean, either— so what? Quickie divorce, they all do that. Britney Spears did that, right? They all have these quickie little marriages.

Yeah, so I think they'll recover. Do you have the thing about Khloe Kardashian in the news? So the big thing that came out yesterday is— I didn't know this, but Robert Kardashian was actually married twice after breaking up with, um, Kris Jenner. Did you know that? So the short time—

oh, Robert who died? Yeah, the father.

Their father.

Was that his name, Robert?

Robert Kardashian, right?

Okay.

Yeah. So then, uh, Robert Kardashian apparently had— yeah, he had two other marriages after they broke up.

I didn't—

I never knew this.

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

So the two ex-wives are coming out and saying that Robert Kardashian told them that Khloe Kardashian has a different dad.

No way! Yes, I totally missed that.

And then people are saying uh, oh, it's not true, and all this stuff. Because they made this whole big deal on this one of the, uh, episodes of the show where Khloe Kardashian was saying, oh, I feel like I'm adopted, I don't look like my sisters, I'm gonna do a DNA test. But they only did— they— because they had that home DNA test, they only did the DNA test with the mother. So of course she still has the same mother, right?

Right, right, right. But how would she—

but they don't know, they don't know the dad.

Is she the youngest?

She's the youngest.

Oh, so she could have been the— right, maybe she does have a different dad.

Yeah, but everyone's saying it's not true, blah blah blah.

Oh no, I missed that one. Yeah, that'd be a bummer to find out like in your 20s that you, you know, your parents—

your mom was a teen hoe.

Exactly. Wow, that's crazy. The two ex-wives all came up and said that. Yeah, missed that. That's good to know. Was that in the news today?

Yeah, it's been in the news since last, uh, yesterday evening and then this morning. So who knows if it's true. They're all claiming it's not true.

Who cares anyway?

They're all claiming it's not. There's no way you can know.

They're still all sisters and crazy, so whatever. Okay, Zac and Rumor, it's getting serious. Longtime pals Zac Efron and Rumor Willis are taking their relationship to the next level.

Zac Efron and Rumor Willis? Mm-hmm. What?

They celebrated their new status with a romantic Turks and Caicos getaway in late December. Zac had been trying to win back Vanessa Hudgens. How do you say her name? But she's moved on with Austin Butler. At first they'd socialize in groups, then rumors started going his home, blah blah blah. Rumor is the one that's not that cute, right?

Uh, yeah, that's why I'm like Googling her picture right now.

I mean, not to be rude, but isn't she kind of known for— maybe she's blossomed into a beautiful smile.

I'm saying I'm trying to see if there's any, um, what and Zac Efron?

Yeah, that's what I got here in my news. I'm not— I'm not making it up. Do you see her?

Yeah, it's crazy. I'm trying to look her up right now.

Um, but what about the whole, like, Demi Moore thing? And speaking of rumor, Willis is Demi Moore's daughter. Um, a lot's been coming out that Ashton's been cheating the whole time and they had open relationship. And Demi Moore— but she looks amazing. Like, don't you think she's just gonna be with someone soon? And I mean, oh yeah, she can be with whoever she wants. You think?

Yeah, Demi Moore. Come on.

Yeah, you think she's hot, right?

Yeah, she's, she's good looking. I mean, she's definitely older than what you— I would date, but, um, she's not gonna have any problems finding a man at all.

Okay. Um, all right, couple renews marriage vows after husband's sex change. This always confuses me when people are married and then get sex changes. Like, we were talking about Chaz Bono the other day who's married to a woman and now he's a man. Now he's a girl. Now he's a man.

He's a man.

Okay. A British couple from Halifax, West York— West Yorkshire renewed their wedding vows to celebrate their 9th year of marriage, which is nothing out of the ordinary unless you consider that Barry and Ann Watson are now Jane and Ann Watson after 43-year-old Barry, a former bus driver, transitioned from male to female. They were married in 2002, and in 2008, Jane sprang the news on Ann that she wanted to be a woman. Looking back, Jane says, it was hard telling the woman I love too that I wanted to be a woman. It's not easy, but they're celebrating their anniversary. They're still together. That would just be so weird to me. It's like, now we're sharing clothes, you have no penis. I don't know, I would like miss stuff like that.

Uh, yeah, man, I don't know.

But they must really love each other, like in their souls. Like, that's like a real love. Like, I don't care what you look like if you don't have a penis anymore, which that would really bum me out. I just can't get over it.

You have to let them leave all day long.

Yeah, that's true. Um, what would you— are you still looking up Zac Efron and Rumer Willis? How's that going for you?

I found Rumer Willis. She's looking a lot better. She's tatted up like crazy now though. She has like crazy—

isn't— why is everyone getting so many tattoos? I seriously— and everyone in this town has a tattoo. Like at my gym, my gay gym, like every single person has tattoos. I'm the only one without a tattoo. It's, uh, you don't have a tattoo?

I have 2 tattoos.

You do?

Yes.

Where?

On both of my shoulders right there.

Did I know that?

Uh, probably. I probably brought it up before.

You never wear t-shirts.

I'm not gonna walk around in tank tops.

You never wear tank tops anymore.

I know.

You should wear tank tops more often. What are your tattoos?

Uh, I have—

Do you regret them?

I do not regret them. The only thing I'm pissed off about is one of them though.

Why?

Because I got a tattoo before it became extremely popular.

Of course, you're a trendsetter.

I know. I got it probably about 3 or 4 years before it became popular, and then it just got crazy where people got star tattoos.

Right.

The only reason I got a star tattoo—

What do you mean star tattoos?

People get tattoos of stars.

Yeah, the guy I'm dating has a star tattoo. So is that popular?

Yeah, it got trendy like Like within the past couple years.

Okay, he got it like 15 years ago. But why do you— why do you— so it's a little star?

No, it's a really big one.

Okay.

I have a star tattoo because one of my friends passed away and her nickname was Star. So that's why.

That's nice. So why does it piss you off?

I just— this pissed me off because every douchebag and bro out there ended up getting a star like, yeah, 3 to 4 years later, right? So that's why I got upset about it.

I got it.

You're— but hopefully You know, a couple years.

I didn't know stars were popular. I'm not up with like trendy tattoos. No, I'm up with trends, but not trendy tattoos.

But now the trend is— thank God the stars went away. Now this is a crazy trend and I don't get it. Everyone is getting ice cream tattoos.

What do you mean?

Like cones of ice cream on it.

Who?

There's like rappers with ice cream cones on their face.

Why? What the hell is that? What's the symbolism to that?

I don't know what the ice cream cone trend is.

That's so dumb. I don't understand any of it. If I get a tattoo one day, I have to be really— I have to like, strike me, like, as like, like I have to come up with— not like I tell you I want to get tattooed so bad that I'm gonna go search for something, but I'm gonna have to like come to me in an image sometime somewhere, and I'll be like, oh yeah, that's what I want.

I so wanted to make fun of girls that get the back—

the tramp stamp?

No, not on the tramp stamp. The— it's on the back and top shoulder. Okay, like that's the— that's like the number one place that girls are getting tattoos.

Okay, it's just not cool, not attractive.

I feel bad. Do you have one? Okay, thank God.

Why? Why do you—

because I was, I was ready to just like go off on them today, and then I found out my, my assistant had one.

Well, you went off on them with her, and then she's like, because, dude, look at my shoulder.

Oh, because the reason we're talking about it, because Snooki just got star— she got star tattoos but in leopard print on her back.

That's so cheesy and so her. Leopard print anything. I mean, I love leopard print, but like, not permanently.

Yeah, it's like, girls, you're gonna be wearing dresses, okay? And just, unless you're like really tatted up, just having a random tattoo on your back shoulder, it's just not hot.

I know.

It's not cool.

I don't wanna do it. Not gonna do it. My mom has a tattoo though, a little yellow rose of Texas. My husband, my mom's husband is from Texas, so she got a little yellow rose. Which is sweet, 'cause yellow rose of Texas. But that's cute. So if my mom has one, I feel like I should get one, but I, you know, haven't been inspired.

When it comes to tattoos, like, you're all in, or, you know, just don't get the random thing that's just gonna show up all the time.

Yeah, I'm not doing it. Thank God I haven't done that mistake. Okay, so celebrity engagement overload. Have you been hearing this lately? All these celebrities just got engaged. I think it's because, like, the new year.

Who's engaged?

I'll tell you right now. Halle Berry is reportedly engaged to her boyfriend of more than a year.

Just read this one.

Oliver Martinez.

Not true.

Britney Spears is engaged to her longtime boyfriend Jason Trawick. That's true.

That's true.

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are engaged. Celebrities just love to get engaged. Let's see if they actually stay together for the long run since it is Hollywood. So Halle Berry is not engaged, huh?

She came out and said it's not an engagement ring that she's been wearing.

Okay, good to know. But there have been—

I think it's because like Christmas people do it, like they're like, yeah, it's the holidays, everyone's around family and stuff like that, so they feel like, oh man, I gotta start my family now, right? Do you ever feel like that when you're around your family?

I never feel like that. I feel like I've got to run. I don't feel like I have to start my family at all. And I've been honestly— I don't want to get into the dog thing. Oh, I was going to get into the dog thing. How—

what about the dog?

Okay, so I've had my dog now for 6 months, and I love her. 7 months. Jesus.

And didn't I tell you from the beginning not to get this dog?

Stop it. But the point is that It's hard. Like, every time I say this, I feel so pathetic because people are like, bitch, I've got 3 dogs and 3 kids and fuck you and whatever. But for me, for my lifestyle, having to walk— they're like, I get home late at night and I'm like, I just want to go to bed, but I gotta walk the dog. Like, walking the dog is annoying. So if I have a kid, you got to like do way more than walk them.

It was totally unnecessary for you to get the dog.

It was premature.

Well, luckily with the kid, but with a kid, you don't have to take them outside. Like for them to get back to themselves.

No, but there's so much more you gotta do though with them in the house. You gotta play balls. You gotta play blocks with them for hours.

You gotta pay for health insurance and crazy stuff like that.

I know, but I just wonder what I'm wondering though, the reason why I brought this up is do we think it's equivalent? Do you think that the dog, my feelings about the hardship of having a dog translates to having a child? Or is it totally separate? Cuz you have a kid and you love the kid.

I think it's similar, but I didn't birth my dog. But kids, you know, you can have a little more control.

Yeah. But also, I'm saying once you give birth, you love this thing more than me. I didn't give birth to my dog. It's different. But I'm just saying, as far as having the responsibility in my life of something other than myself has been more challenging, just 'cause it's been a really busy time.

Yeah. Dogs are awesome, but they're a pain in the ass, man. I'm telling you.

I know.

Check out my Tumblr, whitemenacstumblr.com. I have all these pictures of all these cute dogs, like my friends' dogs and stuff like that, that I posted on there. And I would love to have these dogs for a couple hours. You know, it's just, it's the upkeep is crazy. I was spending some time at my buddy's house and a freaking squirrel was in the, in the backyard or something. And these dogs were going apeshit, like barking up a storm.

They love the squirrels.

I'm like, okay, fine. I'm gonna open the window and let you go chase after the squirrel and let the squirrel just run away. Right. But then they kept on barking for a half hour after that. I'm like, dude, the squirrel is gone by now.

I know.

And it's disturbing all the neighbors. And stuff like that, you know? It's true.

Yeah, they love— the barking is annoying.

I hate disturbing other people. Like, I find that annoying. So when people are disturbing me too, I find it annoying.

Of course you do.

Like some mother effer that's living up above me, right? He's like some foreign exchange student, and he has— he was playing "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's over and over again. I seriously wanted to kick this fucking piece of crap.

Did you go up and knock on the door?

No, because I'm not that kind of person.

Did you say, if you're gonna repeat a song, play a song that's actually good. Yeah, I go, here's a playlist, buddy.

Go to this one.

That's the one.

But no, no, I'm just, I'm not that type of person that's gonna go and—

You're not, 'cause my neighbors always yell at me. Here's the problem. I'm on the top floor of my building.

Mm-hmm.

So I'm, and I happen to be loud, as you know, you hear me walking in the studio every day with my heels, but I've gotten to the habit of taking off my heels when I get in my house. But my neighbors downstairs still think I'm loud cuz they can hear me. Like my, the walls are really thin in my apartment building. There's 6 units and I'm in the top. There's 3 though. I mean, there's 2 on each floor. And anyway, apparently I'm the loudest. Yeah. And I'm so small and I'm quiet.

Yeah, but with those heels, they're crazy.

I take off the heels and they can still hear me on the phone. They can hear me shuffling around and I stay up late at night and I organize stuff and I do work and I'm like kind of a crazy late night person. So.

Oh, it'd be a nightmare. It'd be a nightmare. But I would never like say, hey, I'll complain to the landlord.

They write me notes. I feel bad.

Hey, get this bitch out of my building.

Yeah, my landlord loves me though. Okay, let's get into some emails because then we gotta get into threesome talk.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Here's what the people gotta say today. Emily, ever since I've been listening to you guys, I've been trying to get a little more open-minded when it comes to sex and pleasure. I've got to share this story with you. I was having sex with a woman who I'd been seeing for a short while. We'd been with each other before and we both rocked each other's worlds, but this time she decided to add a little move to the experience and use a magic wand during sex. That's the Hitachi Magic Wand. My first thought was, whoa, she's breaking out the big guns. Don't pass go, do not collect $200. But then I thought, what would Emily do? She went reverse cowgirl and held the wand on the base of my penis. The vibrations were phenomenal, in caps, but the effect was twofold. The vibrations turned my penis into a vibrator inside of her. Needless to say, we were both massively satisfied. I say, as long as you know that toys aren't a requirement for sex orgasms, there's nothing to fear about toys. Your favorite sailor, Jamal— we have not heard from Jamal in a while, he's a Friends with Benefits member. So let me break this down for you folks, okay? The Hitachi Magic Wand is this— they call it like the Mack truck of vibrators. You have to plug it into the wall and it's big. It's not for insertion, it's strictly for clitoral stimulation. And actually, Kelsey, my assistant, talked about it, I think, on the air, using the Hitachi with her boyfriend, and it was mind-blowing because literally, it blows all other vibrators out of the water. It is so strong and so powerful, you're guaranteed an orgasm. And if a woman holds it on her clitoris, it also hits the base of his penis, makes it vibrate. It feels amazing. And a lot of couples love to use the Hitachi Magic Wand during sex. So you see it at first, you're like, whoa, but it's not about the size because it just touches your clitoris. Um, if you want to buy a Hitachi Magic Wand, you can go to adamandeve.com, as I already mentioned. You can put a coupon code EMILY at checkout. And I think everyone should own one. Like, I have it permanently plugged in. I, I've said this before, but I drilled a hole in the back of my nightstand so it could be drilled, so it could always be plugged in. Wow, that's how much I love my Hitachi Magic Wand. I've been, uh, thanks Jamal, he's a premium Friends with Benefits member. We love our Friends with Benefits members. Thanks, Jamal, that's awesome.

I can't figure it out.

What are you figuring out?

While you were talking about that, you were ignoring me and doing something else. No, I was looking up something about the Hitachi Magic Wand and I, I still can't figure it out. I'm still trying to figure out if the Hitachi Magic Wand is the same Hitachi that makes my television. Oh right, Hitachi.

I I don't know, I would think so. I would think Hitachi, 'cause it's been around for, it's been around for, I don't know, so many years.

Really?

20, 30 years.

Yeah, because look at like Yamaha. Yamaha makes everything from stereo systems to motorcycles to pianos.

Yeah.

You know, who says that Hitachi can't make a magic wand?

Exactly, they could make a magic wand. You're right, it totally makes sense. And also Adam and Eve makes their own version of the Hitachi, which is a little less expensive, and I think it's just Powerful. Okay, Emily Morse. Jeremy, I've got another question for you. I've been thinking I might want to try a C-ring, but I have no idea what to get. Any recommendations for a good starter cock ring? And of course, I'll be buying it from adamandeve.com. Thanks, Marvin Morse. He's a premium Friends with Benefits member. The Macho Stallion Erection Keeper cock ring on adamandeve.com is great for beginners. It's made of jelly and it's waterproof, will keep you hard for longer. When it's on the cock ring, when it's on, the cock ring goes through a cycle all by itself of 7 different vibrations that will feel amazing on her clitoris. This one in particular has stellar reviews. So buy that one from Adam and Eve and let me know how it goes, cuz we've been talking about them a lot. The cock rings initially were just for men to help them stay harder or longer, but now all these cock rings have vibrations that feel really good on the female.

It looks like Like a rubber band with a flashlight on it, almost the one that you show me all the time.

Yeah, in the office, right? Have you ever— you know, no, no, you haven't given me one. Seriously, do you want one? What, do you want a— I'll give it to you. I didn't know that you— you're so—

I don't want the ones that you show everybody in the office.

I would give you a one that's special vacuum seal wrapped that, you know, I've never used it before, okay? I promise you that.

I want the one that's laying outside in the gravel.

I'll give you a good one, I promise. Um, okay, let's move into our dog hair all over it. Everything's got dog hair on it in my life.

It's another thing, the dog hair kills me. Go out with my buddies and one of them, he broke up with his girlfriend and she left the cat. Every time we go out, this mother effer is covered in cat hair.

I know, I, you, I carry around the, the brush now to get the brush to get the thing off.

I love animals, people, but animals are not for single people. It causes too much trouble in your life. Like, when you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, you're married, and you're settled down, and you don't go out that much, then cool, get a pet. But it's not for single people.

I know, you know my story with the dog and how I got the dog, and it wasn't like I was actively looking for a dog.

You were conned into a dog.

I was conned into a dog. But she's cute, and when I think about giving her away, I think I love her little face, and I miss her, I do love her. I just think it's difficult.

You'll totally forget about that dog after 2 weeks if you gave it away.

No, not true. We are bonded. We are sisters.

Yeah, right.

We are.

No way.

Just because she farted on your leg doesn't mean that you have to diss my dog.

You're acting like you would be at the end of that one movie. What was that one movie where Brad Pitt came out one time and he had— there was 2 chicks in the movie and they were driving in the car all the time. What's that movie?

You know that I don't— oh, oh, oh, Thelma and Louise.

Yeah, you, you're acting like you're Thelma and Louise with the dog and you're gonna be driving off the cliff together. Like you have that much of a bond. Oh, we don't.

You think we do? Okay, got it.

You'd be so happy if you got rid of it.

No, I wouldn't.

Yeah, you would.

Stop.

You just don't want to tell that to the listeners because—

no, I would tell— what, what don't I tell the listeners? I tell listeners everything.

Yeah, but you're gonna look like animal-hating person.

I know, whatever.

Do you just— or you, you would seem like a failure. You brought that up before.

Yeah, I feel like a failure with the dog. I feel like I couldn't, but it's hard in the city. I don't have a backyard. I have to walk the dog down the stairs. And then this guy I'm dating, sometimes he walks the dog, which is really nice.

I would never do that for you.

You wouldn't? Sometimes I'm like, I'm tired, and he's like, I'll walk the dog.

I don't care.

Not a lot.

How much you would be giving me, I wouldn't say.

Dude, you've never had my fellatio. You would, you would fucking be walking and you'd be owning my dog.

I'd be like, "Fuck that, walk your own goddamn dog." I walk her every morning, I walk her every night.

Try to walk her during the day.

That should be the next poll. Should Emily keep her dog, yes or no?

No, that's not useful. Okay, let's get into— It is useful. Let's get— I almost brought her today, but I know you'd be mad at me.

Oh, I'd lose my fucking mind.

I know. She's cute though. People said she looked cute when I had her on camera a few weeks ago.

Well, that's great, but—

'Cause everyone listening to the show, you know that you can watch the show as well, if you don't know that. Dude, check this out.

When Emily— SexWithEmily.com just like blows up beyond belief and we're able to afford our own office and the own Sex With Emily studio that's just crazy electronics everywhere, you can bring in the dog whenever you want. Oh, I would never— I would never say anything.

She might fart on your leg and you can't say—

I would welcome the dog here. Okay, but we're, we're at the lovely Stitcher Studios and we just can't bring the dog in. That's why I lose my mind when you bring in the dog.

It's hard sometimes. Sometimes it's hard and I need to bring the dog. I just, I don't know what to say. It's hard to leave her alone. Okay, so we are going to talk about our sex topic for the day is threesomes. It's a really popular topic. It always comes up as like the number one male fantasy and, and I guess a lot of females have this fantasy as well. So these are tips before, during, after, what to do. Not just like how to have it, but like what are the repercussions, what do you need to think about, all that stuff. So, what?

Nothing.

Why are you laughing? Because you haven't had a threesome yet?

No, I was just laughing.

Are you gonna listen? Do you take notes? What?

No, I'm listening. I was just—

Laughing at me or with me?

No, I was just, for some reason I just started thinking about chicks and threesomes and like, it's so much easier for them versus a guy.

Why?

A chick can make a threesome happen like that.

True.

It's just crazy.

Right, but a lot of couples, like, I think this is mostly about like couples, like you, of course there's the random threesome of just 3 unattached people, which I actually think in my threesomes experience, it was never with a partner. I think that would be really hard actually, but that's what a lot of people want. My threesome experiences, which are not that many—

this is weird to me because you're so wanting to be in an open relationship.

Well, right, but that—

see, so there is jealousy in there somewhere in your heart. I'm sure you're like saying, oh, it'd be hard with—

I think that certain relationships fuel your jealousy. So if you're dating somebody who, like, I, like, there's a lot of women I know are like, God, I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. It's like this person you're dating is doing something to trigger your jealousy because I don't think that everyone makes us jealous. Like, I'm never jealous. I'm very rarely jealous, but I have been jealous in relationships before when I dated a guy who like kind of sort of cheated on me. So then I was always not trusting him. I'm like, why'd it take you 10 minutes to go to the store? It usually takes you 7 minutes. Like, were you flirting with— you know what I mean? You get crazy. Like, yeah, when they stoke that jealousy fire, you get crazy in your mind, especially when they're a used car salesman. Oh, he was bad. He was so bad. Um, when— yeah, that's a whole nother story.

Can't trust a used car salesman.

He's not a used car salesman. He just wears suits, dude. Uh, and this is an ex-boyfriend.

So, okay, back here. Used car salesman.

He, it wasn't slicked. He just had gel.

Car salesman.

So mean. I should tell him you call him that. So, okay, here's the thing. What?

He just needs to change up his hairdo and he's fine.

And he's got fake teeth, but whatever.

Yeah.

Okay. So he got his teeth redone and you can tell.

Yeah. Veneers.

Veneers.

Sometimes they're like really bad. He can really tell.

Can you tell he had veneers too?

Uh, I don't remember.

You don't remember, but it did. We, the funny thing is you probably couldn't quite pick out that there were veneers, but you were like, used car salesman, like just the whole package. Yeah. And the teeth were probably speaking to you. In some way.

This is how you can tell they have bad veneers. It's above the gum line right there. It's gray. It's like dead gums.

They have super bright teeth, perfectly done teeth, but they're all the same size too, which is weird.

Yeah, but the gums, it's, it's a little gray above the gums. Check it out next time.

Good to know. But there are some really good veneers. A lot of celebrities get veneers and stuff, and they do a good job. You gotta go to the right person. Okay, before you have the trio, the threesome, if you're planning on having it with your significant other, be sure to know, note that it will change your relationship. It will, it'll have an impact somehow on your relationship, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse, but it's, it's gonna be a big deal and it might be more complex than you think because you're bringing someone else in. You've never done it before. And, um, they're not for everybody. So you need to talk. The first thing you need to do before a threesome is to talk with your partner about the rules. Like, are you allowed to make out with this person? Are you allowed to have penetration with this person? Like, how do you— you know, like, you have to, like, talk it all through. And, um, when you're bringing it up— and I'm assuming this is mostly for men who want it— don't say, hey, it'd be awesome to bone another chick. Like, that'd be great, I really want to bone someone else. That's something to say. It's more like— it's more like saying, it would be so hot to see you with another woman, I'd like to see that too. Like, there's different ways to couch the language. Yeah, whatever.

You always make it about them.

Yeah. And the threesome truly is about her. If you're in a relationship with a woman, you have to make it— she has to be someone that she's attracted to. You have to let her like pick it. You're not gonna be like, I want to bone that chick, so let's bring her home with us. You have to be more mindful of the, of the woman in the relationship. And you have to also for sure establish in your, in your rule setting if penetration is cool, because there's a lot of couples where they're like, everything's fine, but no penetration.

Penetration.

Yeah, take penetration off the table. So no penetration.

Then why even do it?

I don't know, because it's odd. Maybe you get some fellatio that feels really good from this other woman.

If penetration is off the table, why are you gonna be cool with some girl going down on me?

I don't know, because people have their own weird sexual proclivities and the things that they're down with and things that they're not down with.

Okay, I would be down like that. Okay, no penetration, but the girl's goes down on me, I'm cool. Yeah, I'm down for that.

Right. So sometimes—

But I don't think that's his— I don't think—

But some women, penetration says a lot, is much more symbolic, is much more intense and means—

Symbolic.

It's much more meaningful, I guess. It means more. It's more, you know what I'm saying? I can't say the word. I can't think of the word right now, but it's just, it's heavier, loaded. It's more loaded, penetration, than fellatio. You know what it is? Like whenever you hear about affairs, you're like, did you have penetration? No, we just kissed. You know, there's the levels that things make a difference. Okay, how do you avoid the common mistakes of threesomes? So everyone's gonna have their own expectations. So you have to discuss what these are. You have to realize that communication is a must. So it's all about communicating. Setting rules before the act and the post-sex etiquette will ensure that the experience and the whole thing flows beautifully. So talk about what you're comfortable with. The boundaries, like, so is it kissing? Is the person able to, gonna sleep over after? Are you gonna do it again? Is it gonna, how long is it gonna go on?

We're gonna do it again, they're gonna sleep over, and then you guys make breakfast for me the next morning.

And then they both take turns giving you fellatio. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, dude, I hope that happens to you in your lifetime, I really do.

Man.

So you gotta limit the liquid courage. So alcohol, I'm not, I know that Menace is probably would be like in a blackout if he did it, But really, dude, I've been so close, man.

So close.

I know. What happened?

Can I tell you? All right, so I was hooking up with this one girl, and then out of nowhere she's like, oh, you should tell this person to come over. Of course she comes up with the idea around like 3:30 AM, right? You know how hard it is to try to get a girl to come over around 3:30 AM?

Exactly.

It's not that easy. So of course we can't get a hold of the other girl, right?

Right.

So then we're all hanging out one time, and then they started making out with each other the next time you guys were all hanging out. Yeah. And then, you know, we go out, we don't all— we don't all hook up. I've had sex with both of them, no problem, right?

Right.

And then we're hanging out with this other situation, we're hanging around, and, uh, the other girl that we couldn't get a hold of was down, but then all of a sudden the other girl wasn't down.

Oh, why?

Because they both like—

they both like you? Do you think that's what it is?

Yes. Yeah.

How long ago is this?

This is, uh, 2 years ago.

Last week?

Last week.

But were you having sex with them both simultaneously? Like one this Friday night and one next Friday night? No, it's time apart.

Yeah.

Sounds like you could still round these babes up. Do they have boyfriends?

I don't know.

Yeah, well, the thing about the threesome, the successful ones, like I said, like if you're not in a relationship, like you're not attached to either one of these women but you're sleeping with them both, I've sort of had that situation where this guy too, we were both kind of dating this guy and we weren't attached and we had a threesome and it was awesome because neither one of us really cared. Like it was, there was no jealousy because that is a huge thing. Threesomes are about 3 people. So someone might wind up feeling jealous.

Yeah. And 2 of them are women. So it's tough, man.

And you gotta feel like if you're not the right, and if you're not the center of attention, you're like, oh, he's with her or she's with him. The two women are together and the guy's like, what the hell am I doing? Yeah, there is some jealousy that can come up. And remember, jealousy is not— should— is not something to be so feared because you can get through jealousy. You just have to work on it and talk it through and all that and be prepared that it's gonna happen. So you have to remember that if you're the man, that the women won't be catering just to you but to each other as well. So there's gonna be some of that going on. And don't expect that it's gonna be perfect the first time. It might not be. I mean, just be psyched that you're having a threesome. It might not be everything it's all cracked up to be. Sometimes it's not, but just be happy that you're having one. Yeah, Menace would be happy if you had one. And don't— and there's plenty of things that you could do. So if the two women are hooking up, you can play with their breasts, their thighs. You can do, um, lots of things to keep your hands busy. So you can be involved. Just because they're hooking up doesn't mean that you have to be involved. Um, and always be safe and always use condoms. Remember that. During—

when you're famous, you can have threesomes whenever you want. That's what sucks.

Yeah. Yeah, you think?

Oh yeah, of course.

No, when are you gonna be famous? Maybe you'll be famous soon.

I gotta be famous.

I know, then you won't even come to work. You'll be like, sorry, another threesome last night. Yeah, I can't wait. I want that for you. I can help you. I could hook you up with threesome, no problem.

Oh no, probably you never— you always show me people that I'm not interested in.

No, that one chick was hot.

I'm not interested.

Okay, she asked me whatever happened. She's like, where's that guy you were gonna fix me up with? Um, but here's one more thing I want to say about condoms. It's— if there's a guy and he's penetrating both women, you have to change condoms. Like, you can't stick the condom in one woman into another. It's going to be obvious, but you should—

you gotta have a couple.

Yeah, you gotta have a lot of condoms on hand. Okay, so after the threesome, what happens? It's probably not a great idea to have all people— all three people spend the night.

Everybody gives each other high fives.

They're like, wow, we did it! Yeah, they all make men a grilled cheese sandwich. Lengthening the threesome past actual coitus is discouraged. B, reassuring to your partner that you enjoyed yourself but it was only experimental fun, and tell the person how much you enjoyed it, and then send them on their way. Because you still need to re-bond now with your partner. Like, you need to like come back together.

How do you send them on their way?

There's— you're like, that was fun, don't let the door hit you in the ass. Something like that.

Are you serious?

No, I'm not serious.

What's the best way? We never talked about this. What's, what's the best way to tell people like, oh, it's getting kind of Oh, and you don't want a woman to sleep over?

It's obvious. You just say, I got a big day tomorrow. Isn't that what everyone says when they want you to leave? Ah, I got a really big day tomorrow, gotta get up early, and you really need a really good night's sleep, and I don't sleep as well.

But they don't get the point that they need to go.

Well, then you're with stupid women. That's so obvious. That's the first, like, thing when a guy's like, I don't know, it's hard, I got a big day tomorrow. Oh God, there's the door, here's money for a taxi. Oh, that's what you say. And every time I'm on a date with someone and I know they're going to want to, like, go out to a bar, like when it's not a great date or on someone I'm not into, whenever he's He says, oh, there's this great bar we should go check out for like an after-dinner drink. 'Cause usually we've gone to a dinner or something on the first date and I'll be like, God, I got a really early morning tomorrow. That's what I say to everybody. That's a great blanket excuse.

Yeah.

You can't get outta that. So, um, some consequences that could come from a threesome, there may be some jealousy like we talked about. You could lose respect for each other and your partner might get really into the third person. I actually have a friend who was dating someone for 8 years Emily Morse had a threesome and he ended up having an affair with the third— with the other woman. Yeah. And she found out and it destroyed his relationship. So you just gotta be really careful. I'm not saying threesomes are for everybody. So just, you gotta set the rules and it really is all about communication and communicating with your partner.

It is.

Yeah. Don't you feel like now you're gonna be ready to go if you have a threesome?

Uh, yeah. If I can make it happen, man.

You just gotta get less drunk and you gotta have some planning.

You— why are you always saying drink less? Why are you the enemy?

So much that you're not—

why are you the enemy of having the best sex that you could have? You're the enemy of fun.

I am not the enemy of fun.

Yes, you're trying to torpedo my—

just because I'm sober this month.

I know, you just—

but not really, because last night I had a glass of wine.

So boring this month, it's terrible.

No, I'm not. I'm super fun.

Oh, can I say something? Uh, off topic. Yeah, when it comes to Facebook, sure, when it comes to Facebook, like if you know somebody's number or email or address or anything, you don't have to message them important information or like for you say, hey, we, we got to hang out, like on Facebook.

What do you mean, don't use the Facebook email system?

No, don't.

Why?

There are other forms of communication.

Oh, you mean like don't post that on their wall? Yeah. I was trying to explain what happened. What do you mean?

Okay, this is what happened.

Break it down, break it down.

I have a friend. She was, uh, I was talking to her and all, uh, like over the phone and emails and we're hanging out. Not a girl that I'm trying to hook up with.

Okay.

But I was just annoyed today because I was like, I haven't heard from my friend in like so long. Like, what the hell happened to her, right? So I go to her Facebook page to send her a message send her a message, say, hey, what's up, man? When I click on it, Facebook has all your old messages. She sent me a message back in September for me to give her a call.

Oh, but some people check their Facebook messages a lot.

I don't.

I don't either. I have 500 messages.

I haven't heard from her since September because I never messaged her back on Facebook.

So did you message her today and say—

yeah, I'm like, dude, I never saw this message.

Right. I do that too. I actually go through my Facebook messages is I'm trying to do it more often now, but I've got like 499 messages.

Yeah.

But if you're personal, and a lot of it's BS too. Yeah. It's a lot of it's like invite to an event or support me for breast cancer awareness, which is important, but I just don't, I, it's too much.

Yeah.

It's like with the email and the that Facebook messages. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree.

And another thing with people, and another thing, another thing with Facebook when it comes to personal, close personal friends that you have their phone number, Saying happy birthday on their Facebook page is not good enough.

Do you think this— if you think that that doesn't count?

I don't think that counts. If you text them, text them.

You call, but everybody's getting calls on their birthday.

I call all my friends on their birthday. I give them a phone call. I don't text them.

I don't write on those friends.

Well, what do you mean?

You have so many friends, like which friends do you call?

My close friends that I have their phone, right?

But if you don't have their number, you can be like, happy birthday. Do you do that on people's walls? Just the happy birthday to people that aren't really your friends?

Yeah, like, you know, I happen to see it's their birthday, I'll write happy birthday. But if it's my close personal friend, you call them. When it comes to, you know, it goes back to women. They like little notes and stuff like that. You call people, that means a lot to people.

Well, I love that you're a phone person. I love that you call, I call you, you pick up mostly.

Yeah, I hate this, the emails and all this stuff. It sucks.

I think we should bring the phone back because the phone has stopped— people stopped using the phone for communication. And I personally, and maybe this is just me, I think that I'd like to hear from listeners' feedback at sexwithemily.com. As a woman, when a guy calls me, I think it means so much more now. Like, there's so many relationships that go on that are like full-on texting. My friend, one of my best friends, he's got like a relation— relationships, I put that in quotes. Going out with 3 different women now. He met them each separately and he's been having texting relationships with them for like a month. I'm like, when are you gonna see him? He's like, I'm getting to know him through text. I think that's BS. If I was one of those chicks, I'd be like, why doesn't this fucker just call me?

Yeah.

Why doesn't he just ask me out already? Like, why is he just getting off on all the texting? Yeah. So when someone calls, I think it means something.

Yeah. Women are really impressed with that these days.

Yeah.

But don't be that—

A call has become like the holy grail now.

Yeah. And don't be one of those women that screen their calls calls and say, um, like, oh, he's calling, I'm not gonna pick up, even though you really want to talk to him. Like, women do that. Like, I had, um, just to you, huh? Just, no, no, I go, I, I'll call, and then like 10 minutes later they get— they'll text me like, call me back, I was calling you, you know, right? They text me and they go, hey, you called, what's going on? And they go, no, I'm not. I, then I reply back, I'm not 17. I don't text, uh, conversations. And then they call me right after I say that.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Well, you know what the new thing is, is that people now text someone if it's okay to call. They're like, is it okay if I call you in 5 minutes? Have you noticed that?

Yeah. What the F, man?

Just call. You got my number.

Yeah.

Although I have to say that a few years ago, and I actually talked about this in therapy because I was going insane.

Mm-hmm.

Um, about this and other things. But I said to my therapist, I'm like, I literally get like 16 to 20 phone calls a day. This is about 3, 4 years ago. I feel like the tide has turned in the last 2 years and people stopped calling. My phone's ringing all day long and it was jarring. It was work stuff and friends. And I was, it was confusing. I was like, you have 16 new messages. I wanna fucking heart attack and throw my phone over the Golden Gate Bridge. I don't wanna listen to 16 messages. So I kind of like that people, people have stopped calling more. Like, there's a lot of people you really don't want to talk to because it takes up more time. So sometimes the text is more efficient. But when it comes to dating and relationships, I think it's really nice. Like, this current guy I've been dating, like, from the very beginning, he's always like picked up the phone and called me. Like, I like you. And my other friend is having 3 texting relationships that he's already like broken up with one of the girls he's never even seen again, all through text. Stupid.

Yeah.

So pick up the phone.

I got 65 voicemails. Right now, there's another thing. Yeah, when it— here's another thing.

Listen to your messages, do you?

Yeah, I'll see that you had— that I had a missed call. There's no need for you to tell me to call you.

Does the iPhone let you save that many messages?

Yeah. Oh my god, 65 unheard messages.

Mine doesn't, only lets me have like 20 or something.

Yeah, 66 now.

Oh my god, that would— that would make me tense. Just listen to them and delete. Just delete them all.

No, because it didn't— I'm trying to build it up so much that they can't leave a message.

Oh, okay, that's good. I have a lot of friends who do that too.

Okay, so it's all back to old-school communication, people. I'm telling you, you are gonna be bringing in so many chicks if you just talk to them.

I think so. What about women calling you?

Women calling me? I like that.

You like it when she calls?

Yeah.

Okay, cuz some guys aren't phone guys. They don't want the call, they don't want the anything. They just want the text. Yeah, I think the text messaging was created created for men by men. And then women love it too. We love texting, but I think that guys just have always hated the phone. They don't get it. Like, there's so many guys that I've dated that have apologized to me and said, I'm sorry, I'm really bad on the phone. Like, girls, we, from the young age, we've been talking on the phone. Like, I used to spend all my, like, teenage years on the telephone in my room for hours. I had a phone in my room before cell phones.

Yeah.

And, um, but guys are not trained. They're like, they don't like it. It's awkward. They're like, are you calling me for a logistical thing? And if it's not, has anything to do with like anything, let's not talk.

Can I go back to one other thing for online communication?

Yes.

All right, so you always talk about, oh, you know, women, they want to be chased, they want to be chased. Cool. If we talk online a couple times and you like me, it's okay for you to send me a message first. I don't want to be the person that's always initiating, always sending you a message, because I talk to girls like, oh yeah, I really like you. If you really like me, then you can message me too. Don't— because I—

we don't want you to know that.

I feel that you don't like me because I have to keep on messaging you. Then I feel like, okay, I don't want to message you anymore. And we're like, oh, he kind of just fell off. Yeah, because I was always messaging you.

You were always instigating.

It just seems like you weren't interested.

That's a really good point. I have to say, fuck online. That's a great— no, I'm— I have to tell you that I was guilty of that in a relationship last year. That for 3 months I was dating this guy and I never once initiated a phone call or a text or an email. And he was like, what the F, do you like me or do you not? I'm like, oh, I do, but I felt like it was still new and I wasn't sure that he liked me and I didn't wanna put myself out there. What if he didn't? It was stupid. And I, and now I'm trying to make a more conscious effort to initiate that kind of communication and not leave it all in the guy's hands.

Yeah.

I, that's a really good point. I'm really proud of you.

Okay.

For making a good point.

Thank you.

Okay. We got to wrap up this party here.

Go for it.

All right, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. You can find me on Facebook and Twitter, Sex with Emily. You can find Menace at White Menace. And thanks for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com.