A Crisis of Confidence

What I'm talking about is we all have this out in the world. I should say there's this complete lack of confidence in the ability to try, to strive, to be imperfect, to make mistakes. Because if you are not confident in feeling your day, you risk not taking that job or creating that business that could really change the whole financial life for you, for your family, for your community, for your mission. You're missing, you know, maybe getting stuck in relationships that are toxic or bad for you. So you say yes to someone that is not super awesome or you stick around. People that don't have your best interests are constantly chipping away at your self worth or chipping away at how you feel about yourself. Or you know, in business, if you don't stop taking risks and you're not innovating, what you're risking is having a smaller competitor scoop you up or surpass you or crush you. Right. So why do we have this whole lack of confidence out in the world? And I think that's a good question. And I don't particularly though I think part of it is you have, at least in the States, this toxic media that really gets people feeling really bad about themselves, which is why you get so much anger out in the world. I think it's this fear of not being enough. Why you have people yelling at each other, you have people who are desperate that are going out to protest to and the things that they believe on whatever side you believe. And you know, there's good things to that, there's bad things to that. But I, I think when things spill over into fist fights or worse, you know, worse violence, it's this fear of the world not going well. Right. And so the sphere that they need to do something to help save the country, to help save the world, to help save their families. So that's what's on the line here, right. So we need to be working on becoming more confident. So how can we do you got three ideas for you based on a lot of research I've been doing for a course that I'm working on that I'll probably be out early next year at the pace I'm going, I will hopefully surprise you with sooner, but we'll see. Again, not confident. I need to be more confident in that, working on it. But any case, the first thing that I think as we go out there, that we need people to be healthier, right? We need to feel healthier, we need our bodies to feel strong. And it's something I, I think at least in the States as a society we, you know, there's certain people that are really good at it, and the majority of the people don't get out enough, don't get out in the sun, don't get moving around enough. And if your body feels crappy because you're filling it with junk food, because you're not exercising, because you're not sleeping, because you're not drinking enough water, you're not getting the good nutrition, all these things that are the basic things that we grew up saying, oh, you need to have health in your life, physical education in school and all that stuff. You know, if we don't physically feel good, it's really hard to emotionally feel good. And when you're not emotionally feeling good, that's when you snap at people. That's when, you know, maybe you have a lot of anxiety and you can't even. You don't even know it because you can't listen to your own body. So. And no matter where you are on this, if you are in the not so healthy, like, you know, you have a lot of improvement or you had it really dialed in. This is always a category we can be thinking, like, what could I do more here? How could I make my body physically sound and vibrant so that I'm excited to see the family, the kids, the spouse? You know, I'm excited to hang out with my friends and go play sports or go for a walk or go for a run or, you know, to have that capability in your body to look forward to things that, you know, you can use it. But that sounded kind of weird, but you get what I'm saying. Like, you know, when you know that you can perform, that's really going to help you. The second thing that you can do to help work on your confidence is work on skills. Right? And I know this is backwards for Instagram here. What does that mean? Well, in high performance coaching, we talk a lot about the confidence competence loop made popular, I believe, by Brendan Burchard. He might have borrowed it from someone else. I don't quite remember, but I did remember hearing it from him. Which means that the more that we can try, the more that we can do things differently. But essentially, the more skill development that we have, the more confident we feel. The more confident feel, the more we'll try. The more we try, the more we get confident, we get more comfortable. And you get this feedback loop of, you know, you're getting better at skills, you're feeling more confident, you're feeling more confident, so you try more and it just spirals up and up. And here's the key thing, right? So we know that. We also know that if you're not developing competence in something, right, could be playing music, it could be electronics, it could be whatever, gardening, it could be farming, whatever it is, if you are not developing that, that competency, you're hurting your chances to feel confident. And I don't say that flippantly. I'm just saying that so many people are just going through the motions in their lives. And I've seen it in clients, I've seen it in friends, I've seen it in co workers. Growing up, when you're just going through the motions, that's a miserable part of life. So you don't want to have that. So what skills are you working on, folks? What could you be trying? Something that's playful, hopefully. I think that really helps if it's just the stakes are low, it's something you really enjoy and that can turn into something amazing. So what skills are you currently developing? Before I get to the third point, I want to let you guys know that if you check the link in my bio this Friday, I'm going to be going live with you guys, with folks, if you have any questions on personal development, on building a business, on my long years in the tech industry as a software engineer and all those other hats. If it's something that you're thinking about or something you need help with, I'd love to spend five minutes on Instagram coaching you through it live. So if you're interested, check the link in my bio. Check the link under this video. You could go to SeanButner.com links and you'll see the button to get signed up. And so you provide your name, your email and your Instagram handle and go answer four quick questions. Just so I have a little bit of context going into the quick coaching session on Instagram and we go from there. So I thought it'd be a really cool way to give, to share what I really love, which is coaching people, helping them realize how to get ahead faster in their lives, how to solve problems, how to get over obstacles. And I'm super excited about this guy. So Again, go to SeanButner.comlinks or check the link in the bio on Facebook or Instagram and you'll be able to sign up for that. Okay, final point on what you need to do to feel more confident. And sometimes it's getting more social support. This is the third big key that I've seen, if I had to boil it down to three in feeling more confident out in the world because the people around you are, you know, have you ever heard the rule that you're the like average success of the five closest people that you interact with? Mostly well, it's the same for your emotions. So if you're interacting consistently with five people that are consistently sad or consistently angry at the world, or consistently not, you know, having that emotional reality that you want for your life, then maybe it's time to try to make some new friends and to network and connect with people that have how you want to feel, you know, more consistently out in the world. What does that really mean? So if, say, you know, you are starting a business, right, you're an entrepreneur and you don't have people around you that are kind of going through it, that are happy while they're going through it, right? So the worst thing you could do is get around people that have built giant companies, made tons of money, but are miserable, right? They hate their lives, all their close relations. They don't have any close people around them. Like, that's a kind of miserable, sad existence and hopefully you're not living that. But if you are, like, how do you get around people that are happier on the journey, that are able to kind of role model or help give perspective on like, hey, like that thing that you're trying in your business kind of blew up. But that's what, that's the process. Like, don't worry about it. Like, you learn that we can move forward, right? You want more people like that. So thinking about, like, who in your, your close group do you really want to emulate on like an emotional level or skill level, on also a health level, maybe have some people that can inspire, who are people that maybe they don't cut ties with people, right? I'm not saying that at all. But who are people? You have to be like, that guy does not have the healthiest habits. Maybe we shouldn't be hanging out as much as we do. Maybe it's time to meet some friends that run every week, you know, go to your local running store and find a running group or I need to find a personal trainer or whatever that is. Because when you got the people right, you know those days when it's tough, those days when you're not sure how you're going to get your way forward, it's the relationships and people around you that really make that difference to get you to that next level, to really help you out of those holes. So you don't spend a whole three months, you know, just feeling terrible, right? You can do it in a day or two, they get you out of it, you're on your way back to your successful future. So I hope you liked this video, guys. I really love doing this. So Again, hit up SeanButner.comlinks and click on the Ask a coach on Instagram to get set up with that. Because I'd really love to offer that to you guys and help build this community because you guys rock. So that said, thanks and I'll see you guys tomorrow. Take care. It.