#askacoach - Finding Your Mission or Purpose

Coach a question the show where you get to ask me. SEAN Butner CERTIFIED HIGH PERFORMANCE COACH Anything on personal development, anything that you're struggling on that's keeping you from living the life that you really want to. And today we are talking about finding your mission or purpose. So this is something that I get through my coaching practice quite a bit of. You know, basically what do I want to be when I grow up? Or I Wish I knew 100,000 million percent or what my purpose was and what I was designed to do and where to start to find that. And, you know, there's a lot of information out there. But you know, for me, I'll talk a little bit about kind of my story because I think so many people have this, the same path where maybe, you know, in high school or before, you know, you're like, I want to be a firefighter. I want to, oh, this is kind of interesting. Let me, you know, see if I like it or not. And so you try a little bit of something. Maybe you have family that pressures you into going into a particular field or doing a particular thing, doing the trades, doing college, that kind of stuff. And so we spend a lot of time kind of living somebody else's life. And so when there comes a time when you're, you're actively been doing something for quite a while and you kind of wake up one morning, you're like, how did I get here? What am I doing? Is this really what I want to do? And that was me. You know, I went to college, I was pushed. You know, my parents are both my parents, my grandparents are like, you got to go to college. Colleges is the way for you to get a good job. You get a good job, you can, you know, live a happy life and not have to worry about money and all that stuff. And it's true, but they don't tell you that, you know, afterwards is where the real work starts, right? And so afterwards, you know, I went to business school, I got a job in doing software for Walmart because I had a hobby that I thought, hey, maybe I want to do something with computers and something that's kind of leading edge. Business can be a little bit conservative, management, finance, all that stuff. So let's go to someplace that's a little more exciting. And it was fun, but it wasn't my thing. Right. I knew after a while that, you know, I didn't have that sense of joy, that sense of confidence, that sense of being really engaged with what I was doing day to day. And after a while, you know, with all the extra stresses, the time crutches, the deadlines, the obligations of that job, I realized, hey, this isn't really what I want to do. Maybe I want to, you know, help other people in some way. Right? Mentoring was a big part of that thing that I love the most about my job at Walmart. So maybe if I can turn this into a business where I'm helping people and offering a little bit of mentorship, maybe that'll help. And then that fell apart. But it opened up the door for me to go to Apple on a different, so still tech. So I'm like, maybe I'll try this again. Maybe it wasn't the right place. Absolutely love that company. Working at Apple was amazing, and I think very highly of them. If I had a chance to do what I'm doing now for them, I probably would go for it because I love Apple so much. But I also love, I love my work way more right now because I found the thing that I wanted to do. And through Apple and thinking about going into management, I'm like, maybe I should learn specific skills that a coach would have in order to help people get, you know, remove obstacles, help them excel in their jobs, to make me look good when I'm a fancy manager. But through going and getting certified, I fell in love with this work. I find it so much more satisfying. I find it so much more impactful, you know, helping people, you know, build the businesses that they want, build the lives, the, the futures where they're happier and more confident. It's what I love. And so what? Why do I tell this long, rambling story about finding your purpose? It's part of it is testing things out, right? I used to say a lot more than I do now, but my life is just a giant science experiment of trying stuff, right? Do I want to, you know, be vegan? I've tried that delicious food. You know, I learned how to cook vegetables so good. Maybe not for me, though. Did I want to. I wanted to start a business, so I started a business. I wanted to work at a big tech company, so I did that. I, you know, I've done a lot of these things and just with curiosity and saying, is this my home? Is this what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? Do I want to move across the country? And that, I think, is the lesson here is. And Steve Jobs actually has a commencement speech. It's really good about this to loop in Apple again from Stanford. But looking back, it's easier to connect the dots than when you're going through it. So what does that mean, really? Like, you need to try stuff. You need to get out there. You need to close the wonder gap. Right. I wonder if this would be cool. Go try it. You know, get your head in the game and figure out if. Yeah. Because, you know, if you're like, hey, I think I should start a business. Start a business, and if you love it, keep doing it. If you don't love it, then you know for sure that that's not what you're supposed to be doing. And so it's this active engagement with the curiosity of what could be one of my purposes. Right. I think so many people, too, to get to the question, I don't know where to start to find my purpose. People think that it's singular, right? But you might have a purpose to be the best parent for your kid. You might have the purpose to be the best leader in your organization. You might have the purpose to be the best partner and spouse for that special someone in your life, for your partner, so that those don't have to be antagonistic. They don't have to be in conflict. Right. And you don't have to just pick one. Like so many people, I think get fixated, especially with a lot of the information out there that there's only one. But, you know, you could have an artistic purpose and a business purpose and a family purpose and a health purpose all together, side by side. And the magic here is. And here's like, the advanced type of thinking about it is how are all these aligned to build the life that you really want? Right. So I think purpose is most powerful when it's aligned with your vision of yourself in the future. And that's what I do as a coach a lot of times, is trying to help people figure out what that vision is for their life and making sure that all the different areas in their life are pointing towards that cool vision of, you know, being financially set so you don't have to worry about money and can work from anywhere, or that, you know, you have that loving spouse and partner that, you know, you sip coffee in the morning with and you smile at each other and the world just feels great because you have a partner in crime or in law, I guess. Don't be criminals, folks, about going out there in the world. So, yeah, really. So get in the game. Follow your. Your instincts and heart. Try as many things as possible. It doesn't have to be some grand gesture like, I'm gonna quit my job or jobs, and I'm gonna go do this new thing. It could be like if you wanted to start a business and you have a job, you know, go through the research to say, how can I get this up and running? Or is there anyone that I know in my friend group and family or friends of friends that has this problem that I'm trying to solve so then I can talk to them, maybe help them learn about the process, my process a bit more, the one that I'm, you know, that you're going after, trying to figure out. And can you build some momentum with that before you make a huge, like, life jump? Right? So. Because that's not responsible in a lot of different areas, you know, so it's all tailored to you. So again, make sure you've talked it through with a bunch of people if you're thinking about making a big change. But you guys have more agency in your life, you guys have more control over what's going on than you realize. And I know this because in my life, when I've had those realizations, I've been able to make better choices that set my life on fire, that set me in a very good space to feel like I was living my life right? I think so many people now in the world want to feel like they're living their life, especially as we've been quarantined, especially as things have been going sideways in the economy and, you know, those things are out of our control. But we can still control how we show up and feel today. So I hope that helps you try to figure out or connect more with your purpose. So maybe you have your purpose. And so people that don't know, try things, get in the game, start small, try and again, try as many things as you can consistently. If you already are, like, I found my thing, I'm really good and I feel really connected to it. The challenge for you to take it to the next level is how often this week did you connect with that? Did you connect with how what you're doing or that purpose that you're chasing is part of you and part of all the different areas of your life and part of why you're doing, why you're doing it for that future version of yourself, if that makes sense. So any case, guys, I hope you enjoy this. Happy Friday again. You can always go to SeanButter.com ask direct message me or comment below these videos. If you have questions, they will show up on the next Friday show at 10 o' clock Pacific Standard Time. I really love doing this for you guys and you guys make the show awesome to do because being able to talk to something helps me direct the content so that you guys feel like you're engaged. Because I want to build a community. I don't want it to just be me talking to a camera looking at myself. It's. It's really strange when you. You call that out and start to think about it. So. Okay, take care, guys. I'll see you later and have a.