#askacoach - Managing Multiple Hats

Where we answer your questions to help you overcome the obstacles getting in the way of your ambitions and help you move quicker with more momentum into that big goal. Today we're talking about managing multiple hats or managing the various different roles that we have. So before we get in, if you guys want to submit your questions, as always, you can go to SeanButter.com Ask or comment or direct message me wherever you're watching this video and I will add you to the queue for the next show. So with that out of the way, today's question I got from one of you gracious viewers was asking, how can I manage all of the different roles I play each day? Sometimes as a mom, I'm just really tired being a mom and being a student going back to college, and I'm just constantly exhausted, constantly procrastinating. How can you. Is there any advice you could give me on that? So, and I think we've all had this experience and maybe you have where you something new happens in your life and you take on a new role. So maybe you get into a relationship and now you have the role of partner, or maybe you're trying to be the best mom, the best dad, the best parent. Maybe you're trying to be an entrepreneur or a new coach or a musician or a runner or all these different ways that we label ourselves and kind of identify in our core personality. And part of it, the first thing is you have to be able to believe that you can hold multiple hats. You know, you don't need. It's not an either or situation. You can't be a good mom and a strong business entrepreneur or business leader. You don't have to be a musician or a runner or really good at your career. You can be all of these together. And the trick and the disaster and a lot of the work that I do in my high performance practice is trying to align these different identities that we have and actually trying to push you to grow your identity. Because a lot of times also if we pick up, say we start a business, but we don't identify as a business leader or a business owner or whatever we need to for our craft, we get into some problems where maybe we neglect doing all the admin on the business because it's tax time coming up. I'm not speaking for myself. Like, this is a reminder for me to get all that stuff together because I neglected it. So it's important to figure out the roles that we play and it's important to know the ones that we're not fully stepping into. Right. So that's one just general comment. But when it comes to consistently being tired, consistently having the obligation of being an awesome parent and then going back to school, trying to get your college degree, as the person who submitted this question is doing, amongst all the other things that you're doing, it can be quite exhausting. And so the first thing is to just not be so hard on yourself. Right. It might be worth thinking about. Is there a fear of not appearing to be perfect because it's going to be a hot mess? Especially if you have a lot of things pulling you a lot of different ways and a lot of respect for someone who's a parent that is also going back to school and is also probably working, which wasn't explicitly said in the information provided, but you know, that's a lot to take on. And so I just want to honor that real quick. So it's not that you're failing, it's not that you're not measuring up like that is enough and you're trying to manage it all and it's a hot mess. And you know, one of the phrases we use a lot in the high performance world is honor the struggle. Right? Struggle is real. So don't shy back from it. Like embrace it. Because when you can embrace it, you can start to say, okay, how can I align my schoolwork with being a good mom, with being a breadwinner if that's the case, or being whatever, how do I kind of incorporate and get all these different areas working for me? So you mentioned energy, you mentioned having different hats. So do you have some type of healthy identity or health related? Identity is probably a better way to say that. So are you, are you someone that works out consistently? Are you a runner? Are you a power lifter? Are you master at doing sit ups, like whatever that is for you? It's really worth thinking about. How can you become more of that to just get your body working out, get your physical energy into the game? Because that could help. Also, if there's an identity that you've been cast on that you didn't like, maybe that's another thing to kind of look at. I don't want to say maybe you didn't want to go back to school, but you had to to be able to provide for your family. Or maybe you are the breadwinner, you took a job that you needed to just to have a roof and food, especially in this trying time. That's awesome. That's admirable. We're cheering you on. So how do you deal with One of those types of roles that maybe you're like, ah, this is not ideal for me right now. It comes back to, are you clear on why you're doing it? Right? Oh, it's to provide for the family. Do you have a plan to shift into something more into your true self? Right. If you're like, I don't want to be a clerk for the rest of my life, I don't want to be an accountant for the rest of my life, I don't want to be a programmer for the rest of my life, what's that next step look like? And are you actively taking steps to get there? So that's another type of thing to reflect upon. And at the end of the day, how are you feeling and filling your day with joy, Right? If you have all these obligations, the counterintuitive advice of add something more that helps you fill your cup so that you can be happy and provide for other folks, or provide and thrive in the roles that you have is super important and more important than you probably think. And I've seen this time and time again with clients that I've worked with where, like, I have the job, I have the kid, I have the partner. I'm trying to be a good partner. I want to have time for my hobbies and my arts, and I'm just drained. I'm like, what brings you the most joy every day? You know that question that you should ask yourself every morning or every week at least, is, what brings you joy and happiness and that sense of contentment with life and are you doing it every day? And that's one of the themes that I keep talking about in these videos and the content that I put out. But it's so important, it's so true, and I wish everyone had that. So no matter if everything went sideways during the day, you'd have that one thing you could do where you felt connected to you, where you felt connected to what made you happy. And it kind of takes the edge off of some of the more not fun things that can happen in life sometimes. So, okay. That said, if there's one thing I would say that you should do, if you're trying to manage multiple hats and you're stressed out, you're overwhelmed, you're exhausted, it would be to find out the one thing you can do every day for five minutes, for 15 minutes, for half hour, if you can handle it, that brings you joy, that brings you, gets you centered, that gets you vibrant and fired up for the rest of the day, and you'll be able to manage some of the things that are not as fun. Or you might, in this particular case, be a little bit more motivated to get all your schoolwork done during the week and not procrastinate, which is another part of the question. So I hope that served you guys. That's it for today's show. Again, if you'd like to submit your questions, you can go to SeanButter.com ask to get them on next week's show or comment or direct message wherever you're watching this video and I'll get to it in the next week. So thank you so much. Have a great weekend. See you guys next week. Take care.