Be Congruent with Your Values

Foreign. Good morning, everyone. This is Sean Butner with start your day with a high performance coach where we aim to talk about high performance in a way that you can get more out of your day, you know, with more joy, with more confidence and with more engagement. So as we've been going through these, these videos, guys, this has kind of been morphing and going as it is. So I love your feedback, you know, you know, shout out to everyone that commented on yesterday's video, you know, some really good things that I learned on how to really, you know, get back into your health after the commute, which was the topic yesterday. So if you're joining us today, you know, say hi, say where you're from, you know, comment below. If you're not subscribed where you're watching this video, please do that. So you get updated when we go live every 8 o' clock in the morning during the week. It's a weird way to say that, but hey, this is live, folks. So I wanted to talk to you guys today in a way just to talk about how to be more congruent in your values. Because when you're congruent with who you are and your best self, that's when we can overcome adversity. That's when we can say, hey, like something happens in the world, I can respond to it and I did my best. And you know, if you're not consistently living into that ideal, that's when you start to, you know, have lower self esteem. You start to doubt yourself. You start to doubt your ability to handle challenges as they come up. And as we know, if you're concerned about getting more done, you're going to encounter adversity. So how do we, you know, anticipate that? How do we, we overcome it? And it's to be congruent with who you are. So this is kind of coming up because I have recently gotten into a, like social media, I don't want to call it a fight, a discussion with someone who posted some misleading statistics and then made all these assumptions. And you know, before this time I would get kind of upset and then eventually just be like, I'm done, peace out. I can't handle the emotionality of trying to convince someone online to change their mind, which is dumb. I don't think that's, you know, social media is the best place for that. I guess I think the best thing you could do is maybe present some new information and hope that it plants a seed for them to change their mind. But that's another side thing so what I realized through this time, though, is I didn't get emotionally caught up in the discussion really at all. Like, it kind of. I thought about it a lot, but I didn't have that emotional reaction. And I think really it was because my goal in that interaction wasn't to judge or to point fingers or blame or just kind of stick to the facts and learn how this person thought through this issue. And I think at the end of the day, trying to seek understanding, just like, where are the beliefs behind how you're interpreting that particular set of data that was posted and all that. Ultimately, it's like, okay, like, if I'm just trying to understand, you know, people will reveal who they are, their character through what they say and how they handle situations and how they respond. So I, you know, felt really, really, like I said good about it. And it ended up after, like, four days of kind of going back and forth, of finally kind of making a judgment. And I'm not so happy that I did that, even though it's pretty obvious how that person felt. And I'll keep it abstract like that because we don't need to know the details here. But, you know, at the end of the day, though, I slept well. I didn't, like, mull over this. I didn't, you know, have that emotional charge that a lot of people get on the Internet. And I think if we live more into our values, we don't have that outcome on social media. We don't get thrown off track when someone has a different idea or ideas that we feel are wrong or ideas that we feel are not the most informed. But you approaching that particular situation, that there's a human on the other side that we can maybe learn how they think through something, we can learn maybe, you know, to think like, is this true? Is this true for me, does this make sense to me? And if it doesn't, like to just very calmly be like, this doesn't make sense. And here's why, you know, so, you know, I encourage you, like, what do you ever think about, like, what values do you hold? And how can you be a little bit more open? How can you communicate more through inquiry than accusations or judgments or having to, like, pin a certain group to somebody? Because I think in communication, there's a lot of breakdown that happens through those types of things. You know, like, if you say that, hey, you're the left, you're the right, you're conservative, you're liberal, you're this, you're that, you're male, you're A female. Like, you know, basically you're trying to dehumanize a person, the person that you're talking to, attribute them to an abstract group so that you can attack that abstract group. And yeah, this is something I've been mulling over for a while. I don't know what you guys think about it. Let me know if there's any holes in this type of sense or if this rings true for you, because either I'd love to make that a little bit more clear or a little bit more bulletproof, I guess is the word I'll use. But this idea that we can only meet people where they're at through our observable action or through their observable actions. So, you know, you can't just call someone, hey, you're this group because you believe these things. It's like, no, no, no, no. When you do or you say these things, like, it leads me to this conclusion, like, am I wrong? You know, that's kind of the tact that I found helpful. So. But you know, do you know who your, your. What your best self is? You know, do you know the values that you have? Do you. Do you like, in high performance, we talk about having three words to define your best self. You know, what are those three words? How are you reminding yourself to live into those three words? How are you actually doing each week on living into those three words? So you're kind of doing this self reflection thing and something that you've picked out because, you know, sometimes values just happen. The best times are when we have intentions with our values because if we have intentions and we find out that maybe that value might need to change, it's just an intention to change. It's not something that is you. And so, you know, you don't necessarily have that identity type. I hope that makes sense. Guess I'm kind of just talking this through on the live show this morning, folks. So that's that. Again, if you're watching this, be sure to subscribe where you see this video. YouTube, Instagram, the Facebooks. And yeah, again, always feel free to ask questions below too. Like, I want to make this a little bit more interactive and highlight you guys because, you know, it feels to me sometimes just talking to a computer, but I know there's people on the other side of that and I'd like to build the community. That said, guys, hope you enjoyed this. Random Wednesday. Start your morning with a coach. Live more into your values. I think, you know, the more you're intentionally doing that, the more that you think like this is these. You know, these three words are what I stand for. This is who I stand for as my best self. The more you can show up that day, the more productive you'll be, the more persuasive you'll be, the happier you'll be in your life. And who does not want to be happier? So check that out. Let me know how that goes if you. If you try it out. So that'd be really awesome. And I'll see you guys tomorrow. Take care.