Communicate Thrive As An Introvert

So many people misconstrue introvertism for social awkwardness or social anxiety. And it can be further from the truth. Now, when you're more reserved, you might hear things like why are you so depressed? Or why are you upset? Or what's wrong with you? And you know, these are innocent questions. I think of folks trying to connect in the way that they know. But it can be really frustrating and actually cause the awkwardness that they're asking about because, you know, sometimes we're just, you know, tired, right? Sometimes we don't have the energy to interact with others, to be the person that is that extroverted, like slapping people on the back, kissing babies type person. Right? Start your week. Great. Start your week with a coach. I'm your host, certified high performance coach Sean Butner. And, and we're going to talk about something that'll help you advance in your life this week. So let's go. And it's just from how we get energy, right? Because introverts get energy from, you know, that alone time, that, that time, that quiet environment, reading books, you know, doing things that are more internally focused, right? Where extroverts get their energy from interacting with people. And in Susan Cain's book, the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, she talks about how we live in an extrovert's world, especially here in the U.S. right? And so this misdiagnosis of, oh, you have social anxiety, oh, you're shy, oh, there's something wrong with you, can be really frustrating. And so how can we as introverts rise above that frustration and thrive, right? Well, if we turn to some of those high performing introverts from history, those folks that have come before us, those choir folks, we can take a look at people that have changed the world through their ideas. And so we're talking about people like Steve Jobs who had a really uncanny ability to sit with, like what would make this product the best and you know, created some of the best consumer products in the world. Or Warren Buffett who would sit every day and read and just read up on companies eight hours a day for a whole year to make one choice investment that made him so famous in the investing world. Or you take a look at like Albert Einstein, who I believe was coincing the phrase that, you know, the difference between me other folks is that I stick with problems longer than other people. And so that I think is a really good, clear distinction in how people use their superpowers as introverts to really change industries. To shape the world to thrive. Have that dent in the universe, if you will. So, you know, years ago, I actually have a story personally about this. Being someone that's fairly introverted, having discussion with a co worker over lunch on how I handle communications, right? Because for me, protecting my focus is how I protected my productivity. And I think that's a lot of people, especially introverts, that protecting your energy, protecting how the emotions that you have and protecting your focus are all kind of lobbed together. And so how I dealt with that was I. I would check emails twice a day. Once in the morning, once when I left. I would make certain times during the day where I check instant messaging. So a little bit more frequently. Maybe twice in the morning, once after lunch, and twice in the afternoon. And then every other time, I'd have blocks of time where I just was not available for texting or instant messaging. And so if you had an emergency, you'd have to come give me a phone call. You'd have to come knock on my door. You actually have to do something to, you know, that was urgent in order to get my attention. And then we could have that discussion of, why is this important? Why do I need to switch what's going on right now? And that kind of stuff. And this guy got angry with me because he couldn't fathom not. You know, he's like, you have to be available all the time. I should be able to just text you, and then you react to what I need, essentially. And I'm like, well, like, that doesn't work for me. You know, I held that boundary, and we went around a couple of times. And then, you know, eventually I'm like, okay, we're done. Like, you're not listening. This is how I operate. You can choose to do with it what you want. And he kept trying to bring it up after that. It was really, really frustrating in that manner. And, like, afterwards, he's like, hey, why are you angry at me? I'm like, I'm not angry at you. I held a boundary. I, you know, just don't have anything more to say. You know, it has nothing to do with being socially awkward or trying to avoid conflict because we had the conflict. It's just, if there's nothing to be gained, why are we gonna go around and around and around on this? But ultimately, that, you know, helped me be very successful in the tech world is being able to set blocks of time where people weren't walking up and, you know, interrupting. Because so many times, too, with interruptions, people feel that it's an emergency because it's important to them but don't realize it maybe not be important to you or it's not your job or my job to respond to your, you know, anxiety, right. Or your emergency, your will or ill planned fake emergency. Right. I'm not sure if you've ever had that experience in corporate America, but it can be one of the biggest productivity drainers especially for introverts there. So I bring that up because what can we really learn from the people that really were great in dent to the world and then you know, the everyday person who's just working in an office like I was, it's you have to be able to communicate what you need. You have to be able to have that tough discussion or conversation and, and hold your boundaries in order to protect your productivity. Right? And that's how you become a high performing introvert and that's, you know, as a certified high performance coach and someone that is, you know, trying to help introverts thrive in this extroverted world that I have my, that hope for you and the tools and process to help you get there. So if that's you, you can always go to Seanbarter.com book for a free strategy session if you wanna be a more high, highly performing introvert. You know, we have that process and you know the certified high performance coaching process is great for everyone. But being someone that's, you know, spent like 15 years, 13, 15 years in corporate America as an introvert trying to survive open floor plans, interruptions or you know, just not being noticed or listened to because you were a little bit more quiet. You know, this is such an important thing to highlight, you know, great value that people that are introverted can really bring to the table. So if that's you again you get and you want a little bit more help or some structured tools to help you thrive in an extrovert's world, I'd love to help you out. Go to SeanBunder.com book if not, we'll see you guys next week. I'm going to be talking a lot more about this introverted stuff coming up, so let me know if you like it by replying to the email you got this from or below the video if there's a comment section left to hear from you. All right guys, go out there, have live with more joy, more personal growth and more impact in your communities. I'll see you guys next week.