Feel Stuck? Decide To Follow Your Heart More To Feel Progress!

So many people, like I said, go with the flow and look around one day and wonder like, how did my life get this way? How did I get into that bad relationship and stick with it for that many years? Or how did I get this job that I just feel stagnant at, I'm not advancing and I put up with it for the last 10 years of my career, I've been stuck in the same place in my job. Or you have that yearning that there's something I could be doing that's a lot more fulfilling and I don't know what it is, but I know it's not this. If you ever had those questions yourself, then you're really gonna love this video. So continue to watch. So I'll start with a quick story. Out of college, I took my first corporate gig as a like for pragmatic reasons versus what my heart really wanted. And what I mean by that is I was fresh out of grad school and got a programming job for a Walmart isd. And it was like, Walmart's a solid company. I'm going to learn a lot that'll cover my student loan costs and stuff. I don't have to do the consultant thing where I'm traveling everywhere because that really stressed me out. So I made the choice to take that Walmart gig in Arkansas, which was away from all my friends and family. I didn't really know anyone there going there. And so yeah, made that move and very quickly found out that the pragmatic reason versus the dream that I had, which was to start my own business, to go out to California, work in big tech somewhere or at least a startup or something exciting. It was cutting edge and that felt a lot riskier, especially with all the financial stress that I had. So that job at Walmart did the job. It was a great experience. I met a lot of great people. I learned a whole lot about myself, about how to operate in a career, about what like my strengths and weaknesses were as a tech person. And that's a whole other story that we can get into. But at the end of the day that I realized my heart wasn't really in it though. Like, it felt like I did something that I was supposed to do versus what I really wanted to do and I was paying for it every day. And that was in the form of super stress of not feeling having to really do a lot of work, to get motivated to get into work, to do a great job and to hold myself up to a level of excellence and service that I've always Had where whatever situation you get into, you give it 100%. And it was a struggle to give 100% in that particular job. That was on me, right? That wasn't anything to do with my manager or my team or the company or anything. That was my choice. And me trying to live with not doing the thing that I knew was right in my heart. And so I did that for five years, and that was probably four years too long. And it took going to a high performance event called High Performance Academy, hosted by Brendan Burchard. And during that, he asked a question. Are you living your truth? And take a moment right now, get your notebook and jot that what thoughts are coming up for you when I ask you, are you living your truth? Because at that point in my life, I did not like my answer because I knew that I wasn't. I didn't feel like it was growing in the way that I wanted to or making the impact and difference that I knew I wanted to in the world. And I. So I knew what I was doing wasn't the dream, right? And I'm like. Then he naturally asked the question, what is the dream? And so what is your truth? If so, what is your truth? What does it look like? Can you get more clear on that vision? Because the clearer you are on that, the more likely you will be to motivate. You'll be motivated to follow through, to take bold chances to make that happen. And as a high performance coach, I'm always pushing people to try to be more authentic, to try to live into that big idea they have for themselves and their families and organizations. What are those things for you? And I think it's really important to think that through, because what I wrote down was, I am working for myself. I'm helping people directly. I'm doing less, like, technical coding work and more working with people. And that allowed me to then create the plan, leave that job, which was scary because of all the student loans and stuff I talked about before, like, the job wasn't really covering it. So I made this pragmatic thing our choice. And it wasn't even delivering on the promise that I had. I was just miserable and stressed out and wondering, why didn't I do the other thing where I just moved out to California and found work instead of taking the safer bet? And so that's the power of that question. That's the power of or why we need to make sure that we're choosing where we're directing our lives. Because as soon as I made that decision to leave as soon as I had a deadline for it and was getting excited for leaving, I was getting excited to go out on my own. I took a bet on myself to start a business and it was a roller coaster. I'm not going to say it was all like great. Like, I did feel like a sense of adventure. I felt like I was directing my life. I felt like more control of my destiny, which was amazing. But that was also peppered in with those moments in my bedroom, in the field position, rocking back and forth thing. Oh, did I just blow up my life for a stupid reason? And I think that's entrepreneurship. I think that's when you are pushing yourself in life and doing things that are going to help you grow, that sometimes that happens. That's basically that. That that was the beginning of my transformation into kind of just going with the flow to being a lot more proactive and directing my destiny. And I want that for you. I want you to be proactive in directing your destiny. So hopefully I'm not. Hopefully you write that down right now. Okay, I'm just gonna say it. So no, hopefully here. Yes, you got this. So as I'm talking about this too, before we get into five things that you can do to really start to create an environment, well, you'll choose to follow your heart, even though it is the hardest choice you can make sometimes. I will say too that following your heart is not meaning it's going to work out 100 the way that you want. You never know. So when I left Walmart and started a business, that business failed within a year because I couldn't make it work. But the work that I did for that helped me get hired at Apple, which was a good thing. So it ultimately landed on my feet. It was the best possible outcome for a failed business is to get hired at a prestigious company. And so I'm very proud of taking that chance. I'm really proud of the work I put into trying to figure out that business. I took pride in being able to get hired at Apple and as a software engineer for a bit. And so it all turns out in a way that's really was unexpected. And had I been so focused on and put my identity into this business that I started is either going to succeed or fail and it's going to mean something about me, I would have like just gotten into depression and probably gotten stuck. It's not going to turn out the way that you want. So I just want to address that right now. I also want to let you know that when you choose to Follow your heart to follow your passion, to move and actively take bold actions towards your big dreams that you also don't want to be running away from situations, right? I had a teammate when I worked at Apple who switched teams because there was one guy on the team that was a complete a hole, right? The guy was a jerk, very selfish, really would point out everyone else's flaws to make himself look good type situation. And so this buddy of mine got fed up and I'm like, hey, man, I need a change. I'm gonna switch teams. And I'm like, hey, okay, you're gonna switch teams. But there's always going to be a guy like, like this on another team. So if you like the work, you like the people, except for this guy, it'd be better to learn the skills to deal with this versus going to another team and hitting your head against this same problem. And lo and behold, he switched teams a year later, we were out hanging out and he's like, hey, I just have to let you know, man, you were 100% right. I met this other guy. It's also a jerk, big ego. And like, I'm learning how to deal with it now. So those problems will follow you. If you're trying to run away from something you don't like and you're not giving what you do, like, enough of a chance, if that makes sense. So there is a caveat there. And then also I want to say chasing your dreams does not mean giving up your obligations. Like, we all have responsibilities. If you have a family, you want to make sure the spouse and kids have a roof over their head, have food. And sometimes the most heartfelt thing to do is to grind through something you don't like to provide for your family. So those situations exist. I want to fully acknowledge it. This isn't just some happy, optimistic, just follow your dreams. It'll all work out. Because it might not work out the way that you want. They might be running away from a problem that'll repeat itself. Or we all have obligations that we need to make sure we take care of so we don't put other people out as responsible citizens and people. So they're the disclaimers. Now we'll get into five different ways you can make that choice. To follow your heart. The create that mission, to move closer to your big dream. Before we do that though, this is something. As a high performance coach, I help people out all the time with a curriculum and process based, proven process. Yeah, mashing up the words. So it's a science based process that's proven to get results. That's what I was trying to say there and a second ago. And I'd love to offer you a free one hour strategy session so you can see and feel the power of high performance coaching for yourself. But at the end of that call, you'll have a plan on how to start living even more into your authentic self, your authentic vision that, that purpose that, that thing in your heart you need to do. But maybe there's something getting in the way from you taking action, from feeling motivated, from feeling that you can actually accomplish that dream. And a coach is really a really great way to do that. So on that one hour strategy call, we'll talk about five different points of high performance. We'll build a tailored high performance plan to you with high performance habits that you can implement immediately. And then at the end of that call, if we feel like we have a really good relationship and it's going to work, we'll talk about a coaching relationship after that. But it's my duty and guarantee and my reputation is on the line to deliver on that one hour call. And I know it's transformational for folks, I believe it. That's why I offer it for free. So make sure if you're like, I don't know, if you're on the fence, give it a try. You have nothing to lose other than an hour with a great conversation where you'll come up with a plan, actionable steps and with the process that I know has helped hundreds of thousands of people through. Not me personally, but helped a bunch of folks. But as a certified high performance community, we've helped so many people with this process and they absolutely love it. There's a self rated satisfaction, self satisfaction rating of 9.7 out of 10, which is insane. So take me up on it. Hit that link below to fill out your application, get scheduled and we'll have that amazing one hour conversation. It'll be great. So click the link to learn more. Now, what are five things that we can do in order to make sure that we are able to choose the hard choice to follow our heart? First one, and I mentioned this a couple of times in my story and leading up to this is you really need to get clear on what your dream is and if you're currently living it. So again it's asking yourself, are you living your truth? And if yes, great. Connect with it again. Write it out. What is your truth? How do you know that's true? How could you be more certain with that? And that'll serve you going forward and hopefully accelerate your results. Right. Because the more clear that we get, the more able, easier it is to take action. And if you said, I don't know what my truth is, do the work, set a 15 minute timer and journal about what do you think your truth is? What is that thing you feel called to do you feel compelled to focus on? What is the thing that you would be doing if you didn't have to do the job that you don't like if you had, you were freer those types of questions. But what is that truth? And I think just getting again clear on truth, whether you know it or not, helps you take more bold action towards it. And when we take bold action, the universe conspires to help us. And what I mean by that too is when I was telling that story about being asked that question myself, I made the decision. In two months, I'm quitting my job at Walmart. And so I'm in the parking lot of this hotel, I give my mom a call. I'm like, hey mom, finally going to jump from here. And the first thing she says is, oh, thank God, you've been acting weird. You haven't seemed like yourself for a while. This is really exciting. I'm so proud of you. And I'm like, thanks mom. But she knew wisely that I needed to come to that decision myself. And so she celebrated, right? And not a half hour after I called my mom out of the blue, my college roommate or best friend, like this guy Dave, forever indebted to, called me. I'd be like, hey man, I have this free room in Oakland. You should come live out here for free for as long as you need to get settled. And so it's like made the bold decision and it almost immediately there was an opportunity presented to, it's presented to me to take action on it. And I took that opportunity. And had I not been cleared, I might have done what I did the whole few years before this. I'm like, yeah, that's cool man, I need to get out there. But it's not going to work. But that was the time when it all just aligned. So the universe will conspire to help you if you're clear on what you want and you're taking bold action towards it. So that's the first point. Second point is to know your fear. In high performance. We know there are three different basic types of fear. It's a process fear, outcome fear, or loss fear. So a process fear is the act of doing the thing you're afraid of is going to be painful. So I like to use the analogy of if you want to train for a marathon, a process fair training for a marathon might be the actual training. The miles you have to run up until the race are going to be overwhelming. It's going to destroy your body, it's going to hurt. Those types of things. I'm not going to enjoy all the training, all the extra mile, all the miles up to the race, so why bother? Second type of fear is an outcome based fear, which means in the case of this marathon, when I cross the finish line, I am not going to feel accomplished. Why I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I don't think it's gonna be worth getting across that finish line. So you're not worried about the work, but you're worried that maybe the grass seems a little bit greener on the other side and you're not going to enjoy the outcome as much as you enjoy not doing anything right now. You don't move. Third basic kind of fear in this example is loss fear. So that by training for a marathon, you're going to lose spending time with your family and friends, you're going to lose the ability to eat your favorite foods. You're going to lose maybe since you'll be eating healthier, you won't be able to socialize as much like what bars or whatever it is. And so you're, there's an opportunity cost for doing this. And so you're going to lose some things that you love in order to do this thing. And in all three of these types of fears, it's one great to know and label each of these for whatever your dream is. Some people are afraid of actually realizing it because you get so invested in the chase when the dog catches the car, you're like, oh, now what? I didn't think this through. People get lost sometimes. It can be really scary. Sometimes we're afraid of judgment of what people will think about us and our spouse won't support us. Our family is going to be like why are you doing this? Why did you pull up your life? And that social fear is very real. So how do you address it sometimes too? We're worried about giving up all the time we put into a job. So we had spent five years, I spent five years at Walmart. I would have continued what might have career been had I not changed in that moment. And in each of these types of fears, so labeling what they are, loss, outcome, process, the worried outcome, like the question is for all of These is what do you seek to gain by changing? What happens if you don't change? It's a simple thing that we talk a lot about in personal development, but it's very true that if you don't change right now, you're going to continue to have the life that you have. And if you want that transformation, if you're hungry for something more in your life, for more fulfillment, for more financial abundance, for more love, for more time, for more freedom, we all need to change, right? We need to level up, and that's part of it. So what do you gain from changing? What do you lose from that changing? That's a great way to manage those fears. And again, this is something that we could talk about in our call on the strategy session or in a coaching session. This is what I do all the time. It's so impactful. It sounds really simple, but when you do the work, it opens up so much for people. People cry. People, you know, immediately make huge changes and just start kicking butt. So it's really powerful to manage your fears using this process. So encourage you to do some journaling on that. The third thing to do that, that I think people often forget, myself included, is to believe you can make the change that you want. And believing that you can make the change you want is a belief that your actions impact your life, the environment, and the people around you. Right. It's a simple matter of agency. And so if you have this great vision of starting a business, of helping all these people with this particular problem, but you don't believe that you could be a business person. And I get a lot of this when I work with therapists that have their own practice. It's if you don't believe you can tackle the business part, that's going to be the hurdle for you moving forward. Right? Because if you think you're going to fail, you don't think you can rise up and figure it out, that's going to demotivate you. It's pretty logical, right? How do you connect with that belief that you can figure it out, that you're capable of achieving what you're going after, that your actions will matter to your vision, that is to connect with why your actions are important and what I mean by that. Like, it's connecting with the vision. Essentially, it's this intention that every day I'm going to show up and I'm going to do one thing that moves the dot, turns the dial in favor of my dream, right? And so if every day I can inch forward the Football. Eventually I'll get a touchdown, right? So that's the mentality of, okay, I can do something big, I could do something small. I could just do something today that moves me a little bit closer. And you do that enough days in a row, you start getting this thing called momentum. And when we get momentum, that's when it seems like magic. And that feeling of, I'm doing a lot towards that dream. You have that sense of excitement, adventure, of freedom, of control over your destiny that I think we're all searching for. What is your vision? And then here is my challenge to you, right? Take that vision, put it on a post it note, put it on your computer, put it somewhere you will. Excuse me, where you'll see it every day. And when you see it, connect with it. Be like, oh, yeah, this is what I'm working for. I'm working towards the big house for my family, with the business. That's seven figures. That is taking care of all our bills. But more importantly, I'm doing work where I feel connected, right? That's my mini vision. That's one of the things that I have up regularly reminding me why I do what I do. And I recommend that you do that too, because it could turn like, I don't want to show up today. I'm tired, I didn't sleep well. And reminding yourself, like, this is what you're working for. This is the big why, this is the big reason can get you back in the seat, doing what you gotta do to move forward. It's amazing. So check it out, okay? Fourth thing to do is to. If you have this big dream or something that your heart is pulling you towards, what are the five big actions required for you to realize that? And this is more of planning the tactical, like time management part of your vision. Because if we can identify those five big moves, right? You can take this, oh, I want to start this big business. You're like, oh, I got to figure out marketing, I got to figure out how to coach. I got to figure out how to connect with people, whatever the five steps are for your particular vision. But you can check it, chunk it up, and it means it becomes a lot more manageable, right? We call this in software functional decomposition, which is just taking something complex and breaking it into smaller parts that are easier to understand and manage. So I had a. Another example of this, of breaking down something big into more actionable steps is I had a client who was talking to his wife about expanding the family. She wanted another kid. He was worried about finances, time and so basically he's, we can never get the conversation started because we start and we get overwhelmed. And so I advised him, like, what are five smaller decisions that need to be made in this big decision that will help you move the conversation forward? So instead of talking about, do you expand the family? And all the implications? Okay, do you expand the family? But how does that impact finances? Where do you guys need to be, how much you have to have saved? Those types of things, how much? How do you see, Are you gonna have to change houses? So now a second point is, do you need to move houses or are you going to configure your space for what you got to do? Third thing, what are you going to do, like, quality of life? You just had two other kids that are now getting out of the whole, like, bad sleep phase or didn't sleep again. They're going to hit that reset button. Is that a yes or no for proceeding with the kid and so on and so forth. So he broke it down into five different areas like that, and within a week, he had arrived with a decision with his wife. And that's just because they were able to chunk down that conversation. And instead of getting stuck in the big kind of messiness, overwhelm of it, we're able to break it down and chop it off one bite at a time. So that's super important to break things down. So what are the five big things you need to do for your vision? And maybe you break those things down into five, if it's still super complex, but write those out and put it by your vision so you know the big things you need to be doing again, hitting it, the clarity thing, and then finally set a deadline for each of those five things. If you have to do one deadline, be what's the next thing you're going to chunk off? So one of those five big things, those five moves that'll boldly move you towards your vision. And when are you going to have a decision made or something complete and put it in the calendar? And I say this as someone who hates deadlines, but I know that when I have a deadline, I am more effective and productive. It works. But that's something I enjoy. I don't think people generally enjoy deadline. Some people are weird. Maybe that's you, but I'm kidding. If it's you, I'm kidding. Yeah, set a deadline. People are really trained to that. Especially if you've been in a corporate environment for a while. It could be super, super helpful. And those are the five. Get clear on what Your dream is ask yourself, are you living your truth? What is the next version or level of your truth? Know your fears, are they? Process outcome or loss? And what do you gain from getting over them? And what do you lose by not changing? 3. Believe you can make the change that you want, that you your actions matter. And write out what your vision is and post it somewhere in your house where you'll see it every day. Identify the big five moves you are required to realize your dreams and then set deadlines to make those happen. Socialize those deadlines. That's something I miss. But you want to be talking to your friends and family that hey, I'm going to have my website done in my business in a month or I'm going to make a decision to start the process of leaving my job in two months just like I did when I was at Walmart. Deadlines. Deadlines can really help you now. Signing off right? If there's one thing you do to help make the choice to follow your heart, it's to get more clear on the dream and what you want out of your life and the legacy that you want in your life. And think about it not just in terms of yourself, but in terms of how your family will be impacted or how your community or organizations will be impacted when you choose to live more with heart. And I think that can be super motivating. If you're not going to take the bet for yourself, you might do it. Provide more for your family and friends and community. So the hardest choice is to follow your heart, but you'll follow your dream longer then you'll follow anything else. So make the choice to make that dream reality. I am cheering you on again. If you need more help, hit the link below to sign up for a free one hour high performance strategy session with me. I'd love to serve you in that way. Create that plan for you. And with that said, this is Sean Butner signing off. Hey, if you like this video too, you might like this one talking about finding your purpose. So just click on that to continue watching and we'll see you there guys, take care.